Joycat

she/her | a little bit of everything |

[wrotten]

there’s a very specific aesthetic i’m going for on this blog and it’s called cool things i like

[chryza]

Debating silently showing this to one of the flight attendants while boarding

[chryza]

I SHOWED IT TO MY FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN HE GAVE ME MY COOKIES AND HE LAUGHED SO HARD HE TOOK MY PHONE TO SHOW IT TO THE OTHER FLIGHT ATTENDANT

[bippysaurus-rex]

I don’t know how you got a good grade in being a passenger on an airline but that’s a totally normal thing to achieve and I’m not seething with jealousy at all.

[thememedaddy]

[dannielricciardo]

my radical proposal for making f1 interesting again

- 15 races AT MOST

- real tracks only except we keep monaco but they race in randomly chosen cars from previous seasons, all of them

- we rotate tracks every year but city circuits are banned and so are tilkedromes unless we like them (like cota)

- sprinklers are implemented

- proximity radio between the cars is allowed so that for example lawson and checo can yell at each other freely. if you get voted driver of the day you get one way radio to someone where they can't reply for the next race

- absolutely NO triple headers. if you suggest quadruple headers you are shot on sight

- driver briefings are shown live. it's filmed like the office. tp meetings are also shown live but it's filmed like a horror movie

- if your team fucks up the strategy the head of strategy has to do press after the race instead of whoever's race they ruined (ferrari send both the head and the deputy)

- max has the fastest car every third race but he must start p22. just to see what happens. if there's rain he must give one lap advantage to the rest of the field

- stewards must make decisions within 3 minutes of something happening. they also get to radio the drivers live. fans then get to vote if they agree with the decision or not and teams get to contest after the race only if 90% of votes disagree with the stewards

[sashayed]

but ykw at least i'm not on mount everest. at least i'm not paying tens of thousands of dollars to slowly suffocate in a 300-person line at the gates of hell. never in my life will i have to be steered in a hypoxic stupor through the maze of poop and corpses atop mount everest. on this earth a lot of horrible things can happen to you without your permission but there are a few that you have to opt into. you can just say no thanks! and be guaranteed never to have to be on mount everest. much to be grateful for actually

[thatqueerfangirl02]

Ilya: Haas has taught me new fun phrase. He says “Be gay, do crime.” This sounds very fun. We should try it!

Shane: Babe, you’re Russian, being gay is the crime.

[shanehollanderholee]

luca haas panicking because the ottawa boys are placing bets on where ilya goes in his spare time & luca so desperately wants to bet that he drives to montreal to fuck shane hollander (thanks to his time in tumblr hockey rpf) but obviously he can’t due to his strict moral code and general bashfulness

[bitchy-ish]

i 100% believe that Ilya DOES NOT tolerate saying “im gonna kms” or “kys” and at boston he used to fine people for it, him and the team eventually got in the habit of saying HILARIOUS alternatives, like at some point someone does something to wrong cliff and cliff yells “I HOPE YOU GET TRADED TO MONTREAL” and it just spirals, it moves with him to ottawa and its so funny, the first time coach weibe hears Luca go “i just ran out of tape- im gonna melt all the ice on the rink” just sounding so so frustrated and serious, he LOSES it

Shane’s started doing it, he didnt even used to be like “im gonna kill myself” that often, maybe only as a joke to hayden, but he starts saying shit like that and hayden and jj pick it up and its just the funniest idea to me of Cliff and Hayden chirping each other and at some point hayden says “i hope you leave your house keys in your locker and dont realize til you get home” and cliff goes “well i hope your blinker light goes out” and it just happens to be a game where hayden is mic’d up and the fans go crazy for it

[kdkdnfuiahuag]

during his first year in ottawa, ilya casually mentions he’s going to get coffee with david after practice and the team is like “who tf is david?????” meanwhile luca haas, hollanov shipper supreme, starts losing his fucking mind

[haveyouheardof70dollars]

listen you have to picture Shane walking into the centaurs training room to find Luca Haas and Ilya Rozanov singing along to Hat Sie Nicht Gesagt without missing a single word. trust me.

[anonmouseur]

It's important to me that some vet duo has one sided beef with Luca that rivals Sam & Bucky's with Spidey. It's even more important to me that the duo be Cliff Marleau and Victor St-Simon.

Cliff: that kids a problem

Vic: why's he on the ice terrorizing us instead of on a playground or something? no way in hell he's actually 20

[another-anonymous-idiot]

Listen I love adorable baby Luca as much as the next person, but guys you have to remember that boy is Swiss, he's European™. I guarantee you this conversation has happened before:

An Elder Centaur: Hey Luca man you can't drink while we're in America you aren't 21 yet.

Luca: Ah no it's ok, I have actually stopped drinking much recently.

An Elder Centaur: ...What do you mean stopped? When did you even start? We drafted you at 18?

Luca: I mean I started at like, 15, so yeah, thought I'd slow down now that I am a professional player. I'll just have a beer.

An Elder Centaur: Beer is still alcohol?

Luca: Eh, is it really though?

Ilya is the only other person on the Cens who understands, but he's just playing dumb, as if his Russian junior team didn't use to drink vodka in a park on the dead of winter after games.

[hotvampireadjacent]

[wherever-whateverr]

they should make a Getting Out of Bed that doesn’t take an hour

[niyarest]

[lastoneout]

Also almost every country has laws restricting or outright banning disabled people from immigrating. They explicitly state we're "burdens" they don't want to shoulder. When everyone was joking abkut moving to Canada I had to sit there knowing I am trapped in a place that wants me dead (trans and queer) and no country will help me because they'd rather I die then burden them with my care.

"Immigrats who can contribute" is phrased to exclude disabled people :/ if we dont contribute by being smart or whatever the fuck we aren't worth helping.

[batsandboba]

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

[lesser-flamingo]

I love the old timey phrase "you forget yourself". bro that was so impolite like do you even know who you are rn