Depresso Expresso

Mostly shitposts as I bring you a long for my depression journey - Call me Hayzil! in mah 20s

[jumpdingus]

Very drugged rn

Pain meds are fuckinf great

If I say something weird I'm sorry

[jumpdingus]

Also have this (maybe) deleted gem

[jumpdingus]

Happy late birthday to myself because I forgot. Whoops

[lapt0pp]

how to grow the fuck up

[friendliness]

Home

what the hell is a mortgage?

first apartment essentials checklist

how to care for cacti and succulents

the care and keeping of plants

Getting an apartment

Money

earn $50-$100 by taking surveys

how to coupon

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

54 ways to save money

How to do Your Own Taxes

Health

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

things to bring to a doctor’s appointment

how to get free therapy

how to prevent a hangover

a list of stress relievers

how to remove a splinter

Emergency

rights when cops pull you over

a list of hotlines in a crisis

things to keep in your car

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Job

time management

create a resume

find the right career

choosing a major

job interview tips

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters

Travel

ultimate packing list

traveling when you have no money 

best way to pack a suitcase

how to apply for a passport

how to make a travel budget

Better You

read the news

leave your childhood traumas behind

how to quit smoking

how to stop skipping breakfast

how to stop micromanaging

ways to get better at asking for help

how to stop being a pushover

learn another language

how to improve your self-esteem

how to sew

reasons to stay alive

small daily goals

[eatingdisorderssuck01]

Imma need this eventually cause they don’t teach you jack squat in school

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

Ima schedule to reblog this when I’m 16.

[mxdragonturtle]

Ima need this eventually

[ace-lost-in-motherfucking-space]

same fam.

[oh-star-how-the-mighty-fall]

Pfffft i’m 32 and I still need some of this advice

[chaoticmooncollective-deactivat]

Reblogging now for future me

[autumn-blue]

Not sure who needs this but

[multipleaestheticsdontask]

16 years old. Time to grow tf up

[multipleaestheticsdontask]

I FORGOT I QUEUED THIS FOR MY BIRTHDAY OMG

[27dragonsinatrenchcoat]

Saving this for sure I need this

[lavarend]

The survey site does not exist, its just a buyable domain rn

[assdare]

Soon™

[assdare]

[realshinjiikari]

Reblogging this a year in advance

[homunculus-argument]

Anyone else remember having their parents try to teach you Emotional Regulation Skills way too early and only understanding in hindsight how fucking nuts it is to try to do what they were doing to a kid. Like having your mom tell you "you're the only one who's in charge of your feelings :) nobody can MAKE you feel bad unless you let them :)" but at the same time you'd get scolded for making someone else feel bad by being rude or acting out, so in practice you're both in charge of your own feelings but also everyone else's feelings, and that didn't feel fair, but you had no idea how to put that into words because you're five.

[thinkstooohard]

it only occurred to me years later, but if "you control your emotions" and "you choose how to feel" then every time my parents got angry at me it was because they chose to be angry, which doesnt seem like the kind of thing you want to be teaching your kid

[homunculus-argument]

I remember asking, if everyone chooses how to feel, then why don't everyone just decide to live in a constant state of euphoria? The answer was "that's not how it works :)" and no further answer to "how does it work, then?"

Like if my idea of how things work is wrong, and my idea of how your idea works is wrong, then who's driving the car??

[ruinedchildhood]

[catchymemes]

[luckkythirt33n]

Happy Brutal Pipe Murder Day to all those who celebrate 👁️🫦👁️🪈

[maidthings]

if you were only familiar with other primates and saw a human for a first time it'd probably look really weird and gross to you

[maidthings]

weird hairless distended ape with hypertrophied genitals and/or tits

[maidthings]

[i-am-a-fish]

I don't think dust needs to exist personally

[i-am-a-fish]

I really love this website and the people on it a lot

[blignick]

[bunjywunjy]

this is actually HILARIOUS because both domestic rabbits and domestic cats practice dominance-related social grooming but for wildly different reasons.

if you're a rabbit, the boss rabbit is the one who gets groomed by its subordinate rabbits.

but if you're a cat... the boss cat is the one that grooms the other cats.

BOTH these idiots are going "aw yeah, it's good to be on top >:) "

[voyage-of-the-porn-spreader]

tgis is so fucking funny to me. they accidentally Rock Lee'd a retired racehorse

[voyage-of-the-porn-spreader]

imagine youre a fat horse and your new neighbour is a personal trainer

[voyage-of-the-porn-spreader]

horse that reads Marcus Aurelius

[voyage-of-the-porn-spreader]

I was wrong. they didnt rock lee him. this horse is literally Gai. and i wish he was my dad

[voyage-of-the-porn-spreader]

tgis is so fucking funny to me. they accidentally Rock Lee'd a retired racehorse

[voyage-of-the-porn-spreader]

imagine youre a fat horse and your new neighbour is a personal trainer

[voyage-of-the-porn-spreader]

horse that reads Marcus Aurelius

[voyage-of-the-porn-spreader]

I was wrong. they didnt rock lee him. this horse is literally Gai. and i wish he was my dad

[sharigax]

My toxic fandom take is that I think that it's awful how much we can talk to creators and get answers from them word of god style. We should be out here in a godless place rooting for scraps of lore in the media like truffle pigs out in the fields

[rukafais]

[blastdamage]

the paris catacombs are 1000x more fucked up than i imagined

[blastdamage]

did you know the cops once found a fully functioning movie theater with a well-stocked bar inside the catacombs and they when they tried to go back later to formally investigate it was completely emptied out save for a note that read "don't search for us"

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Underground french cinema

[npd-vriska]

my little bro is part of the catacombs community and yeah, it's basically a fully autonomous society! enough that when my bro goes in on a friday night, they don't come out until monday for work- sometimes longer if they took days off.

some of the rooms have fully stocked pantries with cooking equipment, some have movies like the one described above, some have books you're allowed to just take but people always put back- every day people bring things from the outside. artists often set up galleries there. there are rooms with mattresses and hammocks set up for people to sleep. one of the room is just a place where people leave shoes for the fun of it.

this is Known, it's not a secret by any means. the catacombs are as big as paris itself, and people live there just as people live above. it's wonderful when you think about it.

[npd-vriska]

A little update! My little bro is now my little sister. Please don't misgender her :)

[enbylesbie]

[odinsblog]

“First season of LEVERAGE - so he's 21 years old - he shows me his watch designs. I'm expecting, y' know, celebrity strap branding or faces. No, it's engineering schematics of GEARS and shit. Pages of them. Even then, there were none so cool.” - John Rogers

[superpeanutgarden]

I need this beautiful and talented man on my blog. *especially* for Black History Month

[what-even-is-thiss]

I remember during puberty talk in 6th grade they handed out permission slips for parents to sign if they didn’t want their kids getting sex ed and like five students ended up having to wait in the library while the rest of us learned about puberty and health stuff.

Afterwards during lunch recess almost everyone in class spent our time telling those five kids what we learned and showing them our handouts.

[flipocrite]

This, on its own, would still suffice to explain why comprehensive sex ed invaluable. Teens and preteens are going to educate themselves, one way or another. They will do so with the handouts and knowledge given to them by the public school curriculum, or with strangers who find them on the internet. The idea of “my child would never disobey me so they don’t need sex ed” is pure authoritarian parent fantasy, complete with the subtext of “cervical cancer is a fitting punishment for disobedience”.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

if I wrote a dystopian novel where the corrupt evil megacorporation that controls society has a fucking smirk for a logo, my editor would tell me to use a less heavy-handed metaphor

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

and yet

[twinkiefairy]

I love this because if I were to write a literary novel in the Western cannon that described the image of an apple with a chunk bitten off, any high school English student would tell you it is a Bible reference meant to represent the source of all evil and downfall of humanity and YET 

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]