Shitpile of ssshhhiitt

[tanukipost]

i think the world would be a happier place if we were all permanently stoned

[queercodex]

the lottery by shirley jackson

[tanukipost]

hold on i have to read something real quick

[tanukipost]

dude

[batboyblog]

President Biden's plan for the first 100 days of his next term:

—Restore Roe v. Wade

—Sign John Lewis Voting Rights Act

—Expand Social Security and Medicare

—End all medical debt

—Raise the minimum wage

—Pass the PRO Act for workers

—Ban assault weapons

—Lead the world on clean energy

—Permanent child tax credit

—$35 insulin cap for all

—Build more housing

—Invest in child care and elder care

you want that? FIGHT! for it, check if you're registered to vote and then find a way to volunteer, everyone can make a difference everyone!

[centropristis]

Also for those of you saying “why doesn’t he do it now”, he doesn’t have a Blue Congress. If he gets a blue Congress, he can pass these, but if either the house or senate stays red, no progress can get made. Vote.

[lesbianralzarek]

wasnt a failed assassination. it was a successful long-range ear piercing by a deranged claires employee. they force femmed him. because of woke

[brilarsn]

it feels unamerican to try to kill someone with a gun and miss, if i’m honest

[dsmsix]

thought I was muted and just had this exchange with a coworker on a zoom call

[michaelblick-deactivated2022070]

[underneaththeweepingwillow]

like a centaur to an apple

[sugluvgalaxy]

How do yall keep on finding pictures of THIS specific pool party

[inthesensethat]

[sunflowerslut]

[icarus-suraki]

[johnnycrass]

faeries are not real but i wish thwy were so i could spray one with raid

[helloitsbees]

harry houdini to his wife after a long exhausting dinner with arthur conan doyle

[shopcat]

do you want to see the best trail cam photo ever

[shopcat]

let it be known he is chilling like crazy

[evilvillain123456789]

Hi! Thank you for reaching out to me about your decision. While I am disappointed that I will not be considered for a position at your company, I am grateful for the opportunity, and I do hope you'll keep my resume on file in case another position becomes available. Attached please find pictures of my penis And scrotum shortly after self-mutilation with a dull pocketknife. Thank you for your time and I look forward to any future correspondence.

[friendlyfrankenstein]

the scariest thing about old tv isnt really the racism or the sexisim because you kinda go in braced for that it's all the scenes where suddenly an actress is holding a lion cub or a chimpanzee is in the same room as a toddler, or suddenly theres a lion, or there's a chimpanzee again but it's driving a car, or holding a lighter, or holding fireworks. You just kind of watch in horror as over and over an actress performs with only 1960s tv film shootings best animal handling between her and the opening to Nope.

[retroactivebakeries]

[kiradical]

This is how I learn that the famous chimp my dad got my nickname from tried to kill Reagan. Fuck yeah.

[friendlyfrankenstein]

RIP Bonzo we know you did your best to murder Ronald Regan for us.

[byjove]

CREATURE????

[byjove]

just when you think it couldn’t be worse, you have to battle a creature

[byjove]

I’m choosing to believe him because I think there should still be mystery and adventure in the world

[ninjaduckpirategoose]

Okay I looked this one up. He said he talked to God, made up some songs, and lost nine kilos during his 20ish hours in the water. He was also completely nude when he was rescued.

[byjove]

hero’s journey

[byjove]

and this man? Odysseus

[trzpiotka]

he also ate some kind of stick

[szyszkasosnowa]

[majorleagueupdates]

BREAKING: the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox have been put in a "Freaky Friday type of situation" until they can learn to appreciate each other's perspectives.

[zevveli]

I still think that my favorite urban legend/folklore fact is that there are certain areas in New Orleans where you cannot get a taxi late at night not because it isn’t safe, but because taxi companies have had recurring problems of picking up ghosts in those areas who are not aware that they are dead and disappearing from the cab before reaching the destination and therefore stiffing the driver on the fare causing a loss for the company.

[elsajeni]

An occupational hazard of cab driving I had not previously considered

[princessnijireiki]

I love that the nola problem here is not “ghosts in my taxi cab,” but “ghosts are FUCKING BROKE DEAD BASTARDS & I GOT BILLS”

[siderealsandman]

Horror is when ghosts get into cabs and scare drivers Magical realism is when cab companies have to develop policies to prevent ghastly fare-theft

[kc749]

In a book about the tsunami in Japan in 2011, the writer talked about how there was a huge increase in reports of ghostly activity. Apparently in Japan treating ghosts rudely is basically considered the stupidest thing you could possibly do. For months after the tsunami, taxi drivers would pick up a passenger only to have them give an address in one of the devastated areas. The cab driver often looked up halfway to the destination to find their fare had disappeared. Not wanting to be impolite to the person (even if they were dead) they’d drive to the address, open the door to let them out, then drive away.

[qwertyu858]

[catnipper]

[augustdementhe]

Your beauty is beyond compare, with flaming locks of hot wings hair...

[random-brushstrokes]

Frank Paton - Witness my Act and Deed (1882)

[wizardshark]

Absolutely fucking dying over the name of this painting. We've had cats figured out since day fucking one

[gaslightgallows]

Also dying because the cat is indeed witnessing (i.e., signing) the act and deed (the document getting ink spilled on it).