Just Imagine This Weird Shit

Science kinda sorta Mostly aliens though

[injuries-in-dust]

Galactic Forum, human guide section.

I think we found the perfect enrichment for human crew members.

Our humans really enjoyed this area we provided for them.

They can run, fall, climb and more, to their hearts content.

They really enjoy being lifted and thrown into a large pit of foam blocks, or plastic spheres.

Note: our crew is mostly Xarnian, so we possess the necessary strength to lift the average adult human despite the density they have evolved on their deathworld.

Human larvae enjoy it the most, but even the mature humans are also thrilled by these activities.

Incidents involving "acts of human" are down 18% in the first cycle alone since we installed the enrichment chamber.

[bringmethepeculiar]

Thinking about humans and aliens. Too hard.

Imagine an alien species that evolved to be semi-aquatic watching humans (a species evolved to climb and run on land) jump eagerly into the water to swim with them. No safety equipment, no flotation devices, just a thin modesty suit and sheer glee.

And humans, by the alien’s standards, are terrible at swimming. Just…truly awful. They can’t hold their breath for long, their bones and muscles are dense, their lungs make them too buoyant, their hair creates drag, their gangly limbs are slow and clumsy, and they can’t open their eyes underwater because the water will hurt them.

And yet the human laughs and splashes with their alien friend and alien can’t help but marvel as the human seems to adapt in real time right in front of their eyes.

The human streamlines themself to glide through the water as best they can, trying their best to turn their grasping hands into paddles, their feet into flippers. The human watches and copies how the alien moves and mimics them, learns and copies them until they move almost gracefully.

Often, they break away from these learned skills and become a land mammal flailing in the water again, but something about the human willingly defying their nature, learning to be more than they are in a bid for connection with another species, makes the alien light up with something that feels an awful lot like fondness.

[evilsoup]

the cultural object of the black hole is kind of remarkable. It's almost an anti-God in a sense, a negative infinity. Yeah there's this kind of dead sun that's collapsed into an infinitely dense point, and if you fall past its event horizon you're fucked. Every schoolchild knows this. A black hole can be introduced in a superhero blockbuster without any explanation except for its established look and the name "black hole", and this will be understood as the ultimate natural disaster, which even superman could not hope to defeat. truly S-tier cosmic object

[not-terezi-pyrope]

If there's any proof we need that our reality is made of math, it's that graph function singularities exist as physical features of our world. Undefined algebraic points exist, we can see them, they float around space touching things and fucking them up beyond all recognition, and they look like marauding black death wrapped in a spherical gradient of tortured spacetime.

Like, words literally cannot describe how cool black holes are. If they did not actually exist, I doubt that the world's 100 top rated sci-fi writers locked in a room for a month brainstorming could come up with anything nearly as good. When do you ever get something that is as top tier psychologically impactful as it is so deeply rooted in fundamental scientific truth about reality?

[persephones-domain]

Physicist here!

Black holes are the ultimate astronomical phenomena. They are regions where the very structure of reality is contorted into something alien. Defined not by substance but by the warping of spacetime, a black hole is a solution to Einstein’s field equations wherein the metric tensor collapses into a singularity—an infinitesimal point of infinite density, where curvature diverges and our mathematical descriptions disintegrate. The event horizon, delineated by the Schwarzschild radius , marks a boundary beyond which causal relationships cease to propagate outward. Nothing—not matter, not light, not information—can escape. From within, the geometry of spacetime becomes so distorted that all paths, all timelike geodesics, inevitably lead inward, like water down an infinite drain.

Time bizzarelt dilates near the horizon; a distant observer would see infalling matter slow, redshift, and fade, asymptotically frozen in time, somewhat like a hologram eternally flickering at the border. Simultaneously for the falling observer, however, the descent is finite and inexorable as space collapses inward, and the singularity looms in a finite proper time. Should one hypothetically remain on the event horizon itself, a null surface traversed only at the speed of light, the geometry becomes especially... strange: light emitted tangentially could orbit indefinitely along the photon sphere, forming a closed loop. So in this scenario, were you to gaze precisely forward, the curvature would distort light rays around the hole to the point you'd witness the back of your own head—an optical recursion born not of mirrors but of warped topology.

Even the notion of mass becomes disquieting here. A black hole's presence is encoded in the curvature it imposes, describable via the Einstein tensor and its coupling to the stress-energy tensor , yet the interior contains no structure! No matter, no surface, only the singularity at , where predictability ends. The laws of physics as we understand them yield only silence in response. And yet, paradoxically, black holes are not immutable. Quantum field theory on curved backgrounds predicts Hawking radiation: virtual particle pairs near the horizon become real, draining the hole of mass over unimaginable timescales, leading to eventual evaporation. What remains, if anything at all, is unknown. In this way, black holes are less objects than they are boundaries of comprehension: blind spots in our cosmology where mathematics hints at truths too extreme, too indifferent, to be made fully human.

[fencehopping]

The James Webb Space Telescope spotted a chain of 20 galaxies, dubbed the Cosmic Vine, which stretches 13 million light-years across and dates back to just 3 billion years after the Big Bang.

[kalontagathontalethes]

James Webb telescope discovers 'Cosmic Vine' of 20 connected galaxies sprawling through the early universe

The James Webb Space Telescope has discovered a massive chain of 20 galaxies in the early universe, raising questions about the formation of

[holyunholy]

should be able to leave kudos on scientific studies. i liked your paper dude keep at it

[holyunholy]

sorry, Dr. Dude

[thepioden]

Dude et. al.

[wormofmouth]

need y'all to know that most academics have publicly searchable email addresses and this not only makes their day but they can put nice emails in their giant packets for applying for jobs or tenure. "hi i read your paper for a class and it was very helpful, im at xyz college and the class is blah with professor blah" is sufficient and ENORMOUSLY helpful

[link-the-feral-anon]

It seems that, once again, when you can't kudos, commenting is the way to go

[ineveryfandom]

bruce and dick, father and son? classic. batman and robin, partners in justice? exciting. bruce and dick, brothers with a huge age gap? more likely than you think.

-

Jason: *loses in a game against bruce*

Bruce, patting his back: it’s alright son, let’s play again

Dick: *loses in a game against bruce*

Bruce: that’s for calling me old

Dick, screaming at Bruce: HOW COULD YOU?!

Duke, new to the fam, very concerned: what’s happening?

Tim: you don’t wanna know

Duke, nervous: …is it something really bad?

Tim, gravely: yes

Dick, shaking Bruce: HOW COULD YOU?! HOW COULD YOU DRINK MY SMOOTHIE?!

Duke:

Alfred: *pointedly looking at the broken window*

Bruce: dick did it

Dick, in space, on call with Alfred: i wasn’t even anywhere NEAR there

Cass: fuck!

Bruce: language

Steph: let my girl say fuck

Bruce: language.

TV playing in the background: ..nd SCORE! unfortunately, the Gotham Guardsmen have lost to Metropolis Metros once m—

Dick, from the couch: motherfUCKER

Bruce, angrily: metropolis BASTARDS

Cass:

Cass: not fair >:[

In a restaurant

Barbara: dick can you pass me the salt

Dick, with headphones on, not hearing her:

Barbara: dick? dick. dick!

Bruce: ill get it

Bruce: *reaches for the salt near dick’s plate*

Dick: *suddenly has his arms around his food, his fork clattering to the ground, their drinks spilling everywhere*

Bruce:

Dick:

Barbara:

Dick: ...in my defense these are some real good nachos

Dick: *waltzes inside bruce’s room, not saying anything*

Bruce: ...?

Dick: *looks at the pictures on the walls*

Bruce: can i help you??

Dick: *checks himself out in the mirror*

Bruce: please do that in your own room

Dick: *turns on the lights and rummages in the drawers*

Bruce: i already ate all the snacks there

Dick: *leaves* *doesn’t close the door*

Bruce:

Damian, also in the room:

Damian, in realization: jason got it from him

[redwoodsply]

[1st-1]

[guerrillatech]

[simariethehawk]

and hilariously that is not why it is called that.

It is the circle of the bears cause of ursa major and ursa minor, and the circle without bears cause ya'know opposite part of the sky.

We lucked right into that one....

[nerdfighterwhatevernumbers]

#so what you’re saying is#the stars dictate whether bears do or do not exist in places

[team-bear-arms-deactivated20220]

Astrology is real but only for predicting where bears will be

[the-tired-tenor]

Bears do not travel to places they cannot see their gods

[hugtheteadrinkthekitten]

I've seen this post before but it only just occurred to me that there might be some sort of underlying reason that "places where bears are" and "places where people name stars after bears" overlap.

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

Reblogging for that last comment.

[the-wolf-and-moon]

 Abell 21, Medusa Nebula, Dreadful Beauty

[captain-ultimat-doggo]

Humans entering space and realizing we are so small. We are mice compared to these giant races with their advanced machinery and technologies and experiences beyond us- except that we're humans. And our engineers dive into the new tech and once we learn the principles we also soon realize how Inefficient everything is. Their "microchips" are the size of cars, their storage drives are basically buildings, and they somehow store less data than ours. So, human companies take advantage, and tech starts rolling out. Massive and there's a lot of wasted space so that it can be managed with larger hands/pincers/claws/tentacles, but also so much more efficient than anything the galaxy has seen before.

Human technicians start hopping ships and upkeeping the general maintenance, the stuff that most aliens put off or don't notice because they never access the crevices of their ships. As human companies become more popular and lead the tech world in everything from warp cores to game stations ("it's so compact! How are the graphics so good?" Says a 60' tall grimbleback, holding a new VR headset that has all of its components included because it's so BIG by our tech standards), soon many things have accessibility ports for humans to be able to use as well. This means that these shiprats hoping ship to ship cause such a huge improvement in everything running smoothly, and there's a huge downtick in pests on ships because those "pests" are not only big enough and aggressive enough to bite a pitbull or a person in half, they're invasive to so many planets and humans hate nothing more than dog killing planet overrunning monsters.

All the while, from the Aliens perspective, humans are an elusive race that don't fraternize much with them. You almost never see a human as most places aren't exactly safe for the little things to run around in. They do export so much stuff though, and the custodial staff at the Central Galactic Outpost insists that there's more humans around than any other race if you just know where to look.

And sure it's somewhat known that some of the little daredevils hop ships and help out in exchange for room and board, usually without permission, but that can't be that common, can it?

Maybe your ship is running better this cycle ever since you stopped at the last station, that just means that tuneup was better than you thought. And maybe for some reason that program you were working on last night is finished when you wake up, but you're so tired maybe you finished it before you passed out. Somehow that faulty light in the galley has fixed itself as well, which is odd, but maybe the Engineer finally got to it. You'd know if there was someone else on your ship.

Right?

... You leave a little bowl of berries out as a thank you, just in case. You're not sure what humans like but you've heard they have a sweet tooth.

[writing-prompt-s]

Aliens have captured you, and placed you in one of their nature preserves. However, they have sorely miscalculated on two issues: The amount of calories needed to keep a persistence predator sated, and the lethality/brutality of a hangry human.

[jumpingjacktrash]

first alien scientist in hover car: i don’t understand, all these creatures thrived together in the original environment, why is it eating them to extinction here?

second alien scientist: maybe we should add more crayfish? it ate the whole population in one sitting, that was kind of a surprise.

me, without looking up from scraping a caribou hide: i can hear you, assholes.

alien scientists: (staring)

me: yeah, i learned your language. you keep sitting there talking about me like i can’t hear you, that’s gonna happen.

first scientist: fascinating. we knew you were arguably sentient, but… (making notes)

second scientist: why are you eating everything? your food requirement in your home environment was less than half this.

me: i didn’t have to catch it myself, you idiots! you yoinked me out of the middle of a camping trip! i bought all that food at a store! i bought my CLOTHES at a store. i bought my BEDDING at a store. I DID NOT HAVE TO KILL MY OWN TENT.

me, finally looking up, shaking a flint knife at them: what the hell kind of scientists could go to earth and not notice the dominant species lives in cities? did you just swoop by in a hurry and grab everything out of the park without looking?

scientists: (silence)

me: … oh my god.

scientists: we’re grad students.

[djhinnwe]

I need this as a film.

[insanity-of-flora-deactivated20]

The aliens submit their research on the human species, and their captive human (having learned to read their language because students cannot keep paperwork in order) Submits their own counter-critique of their study from having lived it.

[nawilla]

The human subject is also granted a degree.  It is not honorary.

[mysticorset]

Master of Exobiology (derogatory)

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Not the Andalite Chronicles AU we need; the one we deserve.

[the-haiku-bot]

Not the Andalite

Chronicles AU we need;

the one we deserve.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[aquarterpastfour]

My Star Trek friendship aesthetic is a Vulcan looking perplexed/exasperated/unimpressed by the sheer humanity of their person, while on the inside they’re thinking:

“You enrich my life.”

[melynnwaters]

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

[kunosoura]

It’s called dark oxygen because it’s produced without any light fueled chemical reactions such as photosynthesis - instead, it’s produced by water electrolysis, an oxidation/reduction reaction occurring due to metallic nodules with differing electrostatic potentials on the sea floor. In essence, a natural electric current is splitting seawater into hydrogen and oxygen.

It’s not called dark oxygen because it’s made of dark matter or anything like that, if anyone was wondering.

[rainbowobsidianbutterfly]

dark oxygen, show me the forbidden electron orbitals

[beesmygod]

the talk about art as something divine and mystical runs completely counter to reality: anyone can do it if they wanted to. its not a super power, its a skill. like handling a knife or power tools. anyone can do it.

[beesmygod]

the power of art isnt in the amount of labor expended to reach the finished piece, its in its ability to communicate something to an audience either intentionally or otherwise and for them to pick up where your conversation left off

[beesmygod]

its an entirely human and terrestrial experience, is what im sayin

[yokowan]

i love pictures of the international space station which are just completely overexposed because that is just.. unequivocally an angel.

[notbecauseofvictories]

#if you were abandoned by god's own angels then homebrew is fine (@kaikamahine)

[lookingattheedgeoftime]

[enriquemzn262]

Keep moving J002E3, this is Earth’s turf.

[explorerrowan]

We really do owe the Moon a lot. I mean, she's HUGE compared to the sorts of moons a planet like ours usually gets. A planet our size can usually expect a couple of decent asteroid captures, but nothing like her. And because she's so big, 1/4 of our mass, her gravity deflects so much space crap from coming near us. She's like a big, burly knight with a big shield. I like her.

[enriquemzn262]

It’s always so weird finding myself in a post with a ton of notes.

[prokopetz]

"Isn't it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal" I mean, there's a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn't have enough poison in it.

[xeansicemane]

Humans have a really weird mix of mundane superpowers.

We're not fast and don't have a lot of natural weaponry but we're bizarrely tolerant to a broad range of toxins to the point that one toxin is considered a morning necessity for some to perform at work. Gotta love us.

[vexwerewolf]

[missmacfire]