Why "doing something relaxingâ does not help your anxiety
A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing ârelaxingâ things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.
This advice is always well-intentioned, and Iâm not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way. Â
THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a ârelaxingâ thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing thatâs bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.
You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust meâitâs a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt. You canât physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind.Â
People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.
In fact, you could say thatâs what anxiety isâhyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or theyâll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture.Â
Therefore, I present to you:Â
THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS
âWatch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.
âGo anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching
âDraw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind
âDo yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally driftÂ
âDo literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.
THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:
âDo a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.
âWrite something. It doesnât have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when youâre done. Itâs not for publication, itâs a relief exercise that only you will see.Â
âRead something, watch TV, or watch a movieâas long as itâs engrossing. Donât watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in.Â
âMasturbate. Yes, Iâm serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie itâs running. It canât run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (âŚI hope. If it can, thenâŚignore this one.)Â
âDo math problemsâliterally, google âalgebra problems worksheetâ and solve them. If you havenât done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I donât mean with math, I mean with the anxiety.Â
âPlay a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel.Â
âPlay a video game, as long as itâs not something like candy crush or Tetris thatâs mindless.Â
THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:
âList the capitals of all the U.S. states
âList the capitals of all the European countries
âList all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors.Â
âList all the blonde celebrities you can think of.
âPull up a random block of text and count all the As in it, or Es or whatever. Â
Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself.  Iâve finally realized that the stuff people recommend never works because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too.Â
(Now this shouldnât have to be said but if the âdo notsâ work for you then by all means do them. Theyâve just never worked for me.)
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