[okavara]

[curioscurio]

fuck you fuck everything monkey peanut butter and jelly

[philcollinsenjoyer]

explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly

[i-am-a-fish]

don't be mean to yourself that's you

[i-am-a-fish]

you live there

[bonivers]

this is really how it feels

[emotargaryen]

one of the tweets of all time to me

[oneheadtoanother]

[klaasje]

really good text from my sister in law

[xylophonetangerine]

I didn't even know they had a category for that

[innerchildabortionclinic]

Hollywood really could have that category

[carolsturka]

how it feels to talk about anything at all

[stateownedslut]

You're hot as hell. Can i dm you? I'm not a fascist.

The young woman's micro-blog loads on your screen.

PERCEPTION [Trivial: Success] - This *is* an attractive one.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] - It's been too long. Your flesh craves hers.

SUGGESTION [Trivial: Success] - Slide into her DMs right now.

YOU - They're closed.

SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - Has that ever been a problem for us?

VOLITION [Challenging: Success] - Get in her ask-box instead.

YOU - What would I even say?

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Medium: Success] - This one's a *Communard*.

RHETORIC [Godly: Failure]

- "You're hot as hell."

- "Can I DM you?"

- "I'm not a fascist."

[tatzelwurming]

not now thrall there’s a hurricane

[tatzelwurming]

i wish i hadn’t rejected his compassion

[cheaphalloweencostume]

I remembered newspaper comics existed and googled Ziggy to laugh at how shitty it is and this caught me so off guard I nearly threw up

[punchsportsandpunchlines-deacti]

I worked at a small town newspaper at a time we changed our syndicate service so we stopped running ziggy and a woman came in to yell at us about how important ziggy is because it “really has its finger on the pulse of things”

[dogpuppy]

[dogpuppy]

[evvergreen]

tumblr is the website for if you're just someone's weird sister

[tomatotext]

and, look, I’m not complaining, not at all, but this is why it’s very important to be abundantly clear and specific with your Etsy witch.