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From Veronica Tucker via Pinterest

I think this is just a trend everywhere but I've been very frustrated this week by how much admin work is being outsourced to me as the patient/customer.

My orthodontist tells me I can make an appointment with the surgeon. I call the surgeon. They tell me I need a new referral. I call the orthodontist. They do a referral. I call the surgeon. Referral didn't come through. They tell me about their special unique system we have to use. I call the ortho again and walk them through the referral. I call the surgeon. They say the referral was missing some details so they have to do it again. I call the ortho.

The insurance company calls me about repair shops. I give them the name of the repair shop which I already gave them yesterday. They say they're not in their system but I can use them, but I have to call the repair shop to ask them to contact the insurance company. I call the repair shop and they say the insurance company is supposed to email them.

I feel like at a certain point these constant fetch quests become unreasonable?? Is it too much to expect these groups to communicate with each other instead of making me run back and forth between them???

clonerightsagenda

Made this post and then the new property manager (who started on Monday and only finally emailed us today because I sent a vaguely professionally hostile email to her boss because I hadn't heard anything and was not convinced she existed) asked for a list of open action items which her predecessor should have had but apparently wasn't keeping track of, which I learned when I met her boss and provided her with the list of open action items, which I guess tragically died in a fire in the last 2 weeks since she was sitting at my kitchen table, being menaced by the skull. How many people's jobs am I doing now

hlahlahlahlahly

The phrase arrived in my head so completely formed and concrete that I couldn’t believe it wasn’t already established in the lexicon, but at

clonerightsagenda

It has a name!!!

themaveriqueagenda

"women and nonbinary people's spaces exist for us to have safe spaces away from men"

as a nonbinary person, i feel safer around transgender men than cisgender women who way too often

have a very surface level understanding of gendered marginalisation thinking it's only tied to womanhood

end up treating nonbinary people in those spaces as either women or invaders

have shown time and time again that the name is merely a lip service and these spaces are almost always "cisgender women and afab nonbinary people i think are women"

unless it's actually a space explicitly for everyone who is oppressed by the patriarchy, i'm not sharing a gendered safer space with cisgender women. if your understanding of the patriarchy completely ignores the way transgender men are marginalised, i can't trust you to understand my experience as a nonbinary person beyond your lens of perceived womanhood.

genderkoolaid

if you want a space to be safe for nonbinary people, one of the top ways to completely and utterly fail is to binarize that space by excluding one of the binary genders.

it immediately tells nonbinary people that:

you don't really understand "nonbinary" means as you aren't aware that nonbinary people can be men, and in fact many nonbinary women are also men

you think that nonbinary people are inherently closer to women than to men, and more specifically, you think that the lived experiences and perspectives and feelings of nonbinary people as a group are close enough the experiences/perspectives/feelings of cis women

that space will probably be anywhere from uncomfortable to actively hostile and unsafe to any nonbinary person who either insists on their manhood or is perceived by others as too close to being a man

sometimes, i'd rather people just be openly exorsexist rather than doing this infuriating bullshit where they want to seem nonbinary-inclusive, but clearly think the extent of nonbinary allyship is just using they/them pronouns for someone.

to be real dramatic about it, its actively unsafe for nonbinary people to not have any spaces of our own that are actually dedicated to nonbinary experience, especially with exorsexism. its unhealthy for us to constantly be shoved off into spaces dominated by cis and/or binary women, to have to be subjected to exorsexism by the people who almost always make up the majority of the space, to be constantly reminded that your "inclusion" is second-class. it was not healthy for me as a young multigender person to be in such spaces specifically because this "women and nonbinary people, but no men!" attitude led me to repress my own manhood deeply, for years. because i was seeing so many people talk about how if you are even 1% man, you can't be a lesbian or be in really any woman-oriented spaces and if you want to be, its you being a privileged male predator. which is not only exorsexism, its also something which alienates me as a woman from other women, as cisfeminists never relate to me as a fellow woman when they see me as a nonbinary person who is also sometimes a man.

cis & binary women do not realize that exorsexism isn't just being rude, its a weapon, and you can wield it. don't invite nonbinary people into a space if you aren't actually committed to the work of making that space good for nonbinary people. we aren't just liberal feminist collectibles!

coto524

as a welsh person i want you all to accept that W is a vowel because honestly it makes pronouncing acronyms so much easier. wlw becomes ‘ooloo’, wjec becomes ‘oojeck’, love yourselves and stop giving us shit when we tell you welsh has 7 vowels. english actually has 15 vowel sounds but because y’all only use 5 letters you have to rely on a spelling system devised by satan

saethwr-blog

and please, enough with the “keyboard smashing” jokes. not original, not funny.

coto524

“ #okay but can any of y'all even pronounce your own town names tho? #bye”

yeah, we can actually because the spelling is phonetic. meanwhile english folks have placenames like bicester or keighley or beaulieu, which you have to learn the pronunciation for individually because the rules are so inconsistent. i mean people can’t even agree how to pronounce marylebone but sure welsh place names are the weird ones

coto524

“#But are you aware your language literally looks like a potato rolled across a keyboard”

fun fact: for decades children were beaten for speaking welsh in school, even in areas where english was barely spoken, because the government decided in 1847 that the language made people lazy and immoral

fun fact: welsh orthography is actually easy to read if you take your head out of your arse for one minute and learn our alphabet - just like french, or spanish, or korean, because surprise! languages use different spelling systems that are not based on english. novel, i know - and in the 18th century, travelling schools were able to teach people to read and write welsh in a matter of months, so that wales enjoyed a literate majority, a rare thing in europe at the time

fun fact: the english have been taking the piss out of welsh for years, just like they’ve been doing for irish, and scots gaelic, and cornish, and british sign language, and a hundred and one other languages, because evidently the fact that the whole world isn’t anglophone and monocultured and Still Part Of The Empire is a problem, and something that needs to be corrected

radiqueer

Human relationships are not transactional but they are reciprocal, which I think many of you with your ‘i don’t owe anyone anything’ shtick are too happy to forget

aromanticduck

Transactional: everything has to be exactly 50/50 all the time, pay me back for the £5 sandwich or buy me something worth exactly £5, I refuse to make an effort for you if there’s nothing in it for me

Reciprocal: you were there for me when I needed help, and I’m going to do the same for you, it doesn’t matter if one of us needs more or is capable of less, because the point is not equivalent exchange but mutual care

alanaisalive

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

iguanamouth

oh shit

throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight

alanaisalive

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

docd666

Y'all know what to do Tumblr.

vaspider

It’s February and we are nearly halfway there, y'all. Keep this shit going.

the-uncanny-dag

shinladyanarki

You can block those.

Go to your account settings, and scroll down to "content you see".

Type and save the username/tags/site url, with quotations if its a more than one word. Also put "wordpress" on the list as well. That nukes about half of those sponsored ads. The rest will have to be shoot on sight.

Also get "rethink dns"

https://www.rethinkdns.com/

if you have an andriod phone so you can block the generic ads on the domain/ip level.

44 ip rules and 25 domain rules so far.

malewifesband

its always helpful imo to remember theres a cis person with whatever problem you have as a trans person 9/10 times. theres a cis man as short as you, a cis woman as tall as you, with hands and feet as big or small as yours. theres a cis woman scared to go out without shaving twice a day, theres a cis man whos upset bc he will never grow a beard. theres a cis woman who worries her infertility makes her less of a woman, and theres a cis man feeling similarly about his lack of potency. theres cis women who dilate and cis men with phalloplasty. theres a cis man scared that painting his nails will make people think hes not really a man and a cis woman whos exhausted with spending hours grooming just so people treat her like she wants to be treated as a woman. they dont put it in the terms we do but theyre worried that these problems make them inadequate at the gender they want people to see them as. our patriarchal system has made the boxes were supposed to fit into so small and you arent alone in not fitting it--nobody really fits

steadyangelcharger

intersex is a relevant term!

antlered-vixen

No, it's not. It's genuinely not. I am truly concerned with the growing number of people on tumblr who feel that physically diverging from an extremely narrow, colonial, oppressive and genuinely unrealistic notion of "what the sexes allegedly look like" makes you intersex. No. Like, 80% of Middle Eastern women have a lot of body hair and face hair they need to wax (or sugar) all the time, yes, with beards sometimes. No, impotent men or infertile women are not something else than dyadic men and women unless they actually are. No, there's cis men with "buried penis" who are 100% dyadic perisex cis men. Yes, men and women are sometimes almost indistinguishable by a glance without makeup, grooming, brow shaping, different clothes, different hair, etc: our natural dimorphism isn't particularly strong as a species. You are reinforcing the idea that the "natural state" of the two dyadic sexes is this extreme Disney-animal dimorphism that is actually a social construst and not the biological physical reality. You are reinforcing these extremely narrow and straight up statistically incorrect boxes by, rather than questioning them, calling what lies outside them "Other". Intersex people are people born with intersex variations. Like me. And our experiences are not just limited to the pressure to fit in narrow boxes we don't really fit in (hello, feminism 101 - that's everyone, that's how gender works), it's a lot more specific, often a lot more violent, with specific medical axes of abuse, with specific forms of discrimination, etc.

malewifesband

thank you for putting this better than i could. it was bothering me how a few people kept bringing up intersex people as if thats the sum of the experience im describing when it isnt. every single thing i mentioned is something that perisex people can and do experience, and its as much about the construction of the sex binary as a facet of white supremacy and eugenics and ableism as it is about intersexism. singling out intersexism does, as you said, more to reify that boundary by casting all sexual variance as other rather than accepting the fact that "male" and "female" are not very different from each other, while ignoring the specific violence that too often comes with being intersex

gayvampyr

adult friendships are so dumb like yeah i think i can find a time to hang. how’s february 17th at 4pm

ziggy-scardust

that’s next week! Don’t forget!

kalooeh

Show how frustrating it is because I actually have to go to work at 4pm on the 17th😄

#adulting

existennialmemes

Two seemingly contradictory beliefs that we actually must strive to hold simultaneously:

You don't owe anyone anything

Meaning: you do not have to make yourself suffer for the convenience of others

We owe each other everything

Meaning: we could not survive without each other and everything we do to help another is crucial to ensuring our own continued survival

You don't need to be a doormat, but also don't get comfortable slamming the door when you have the resources to extend a hand instead.

existennialmemes

It is and thank you for noticing.

I always love it so much when one of my posts is based on my very Jewish ideals, but does not say so in any way, but other Jews see it and are still immediately just like "🫵Jewish!!" 💜💜

psychoticallytrans

We figured out decades ago that putting women on a pedestal is another way to dehumanize them. Trans women are included in this. Putting women on a pedestal is a way to distance them from you, and gives you an excuse to abandon them when the pedestal starts shaking, which it always will because women are people.

Trans women are not angels or goddesses. They are not higher beings who have the power to always make the right choice, to always be perfect and unchangingly righteous. They are people, and people can’t be perfect, all-knowing, or unchanging.

Because trans women are people, they can have all of the flaws that a person can have. They can be careless. They can be bigoted. They can be mean. This is not because they are trans women, it is because they are people. It does not make someone not a trans woman to be flawed, even in ways that you don’t think a trans woman should be.

It also doesn’t mean that they don’t deserve protection and community. Again, trans women are people. People deserve housing, food, medical care, art, human connection, access to nature- everything that we’ve determined that people need to thrive. Trans women deserve all of these things because they are people and people deserve to thrive. This includes flawed trans women, because being a flawed person does not exclude you from deserving everything a person needs.

Don’t put trans women on pedestals. Treat them as people, with all of the dignity and leniency that they deserve for being people.

eldritchbauble

Monogamous culture has a hand in bi erasure and exclusion, btw. We all know that you can only experience attraction to your current snd singular partner, and your whole identity is shaped by this.

angelicguy

im going insane bro theyre literally filling cities w armed goons asking people for proof of citizenship and rightoids who have literally been paralyzed with fear imagining this exact outcome are like It's chill don't worry. trained dog people

thelovingdread

The left is just getting as good as they gave supporting lockdowns.

angelicguy

you see thats the problem w you guys theres no like higher lvl of consideration to anything you believe. its just shit slinging at the end of the day to you. the lockdown happened so people wouldnt fucking die. it wasnt some broad political scheme to keep people inside it was so people did not literally die of lung rot disease. yeah they fucked up a lot but literally nothing like that had ever happened before (also trump shut the world down first, im sorry you have the cultural memory of a tick). theyre just killing people in the streets now man. that is objectively whats happening. it is against every proposed tenent of conservatism that you people ostensibly believe in. but none of that matters because you because your relationship with politics is imagining people you dont like getting hurt, which is the only way it can entertain your deranged brain. no imagination of a better life, no consideration of how to reduce suffering, etc. just about how many toys you get and imagining killing whoever shuts off the toy valve. fuck man get some perspective.

librarycards

in short, nobody “has” to stay alive, but I encourage everyone to hold out for a time in which you’re grateful you’re still here; a set of moments in another place and time that would only be possible if you, here and now, made the choice to carry on