Trust Me

I'm hilarious

[sailorbrazil]

thursday..... and i bet you wish you were her

[oldenglishtextposts]

þuresdæg..... and ic wene þæt wyscst þu hi sie

[biglawbear]

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He—wait. Why dost the Lord hath clippers.

[biglawbear]

The Lord sheareth me.

[teaboot]

“Jesus Shaves”

[pomgore]

i love learning about animals ive literally never seen or heard of before. what amazing diversity of life on this planet earth. what the hell is a japanese serow

[pomgore]

goat dog

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

One of my favorite thing I’ve learned about animals studies is that you should avoid using colorful leg bands when you’re banding birds because you can accidentally completely skew the data because female birds prefer males with colorful bands

Apparently if you put a red band on a male red wing blackbird his harem size can double

So like you can completely frick up the natural reproduction of a group of birds by giving a guy a bracelet so stylish that females CANNOT resist him

[volcanokids]

Me, putting a red bracelet on the leg of a male red wing blackbird: ON GOD we gonna get u some pussy bro

[jordisstigander]

I remember reading a study where researchers realized that female birds of a certain species preferred males with a darker breast. So they created what they literally called a “Super-Sexy Male” by catching a male and coloring his chest with a marker. They then ran dna tests on the eggs in the area.

Previously when the researchers had run these tests, they found a certain amount of infidelity was common for these birds. Somewhere around 10% of eggs were fathered by males who were not the primary mates of females.

After the advent of the Super Sexy Male, however, stuff got crazy in bird world. Infidelity skyrocketed, with upwards of 25% of ALL EGGS in the area being fathered by this specific male. Furthermore, his mate’s eggs were 100% his.

This is just insane to me. Just imagine you’re living your bird life when suddenly somebody scribbles on Dave’s chest and the ladies can’t stop throwing themselves at them. It’s stupid that we theoretically can wreck this kind of havoc on an ecosystem.

[moral-autism]

This is increasing my belief that we live in an era of unparalleled male bowerbird sexiness, not going to lie.

[tanadrin]

*me, eyeing the alien xenologists observing humanity in orbit* gosh, i hope no alien scientist decides to randomly turn me into a big tittied goth chick–

[thestroyer]

[dee-the-red-witch]

I HAVE FINALLY FOUND THE PAINT JOB I NEED ON MY CAR.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

driving my newly painted car down to my job at the children’s hospital

[hometoursandotherstuff]

Honestly, when I first read it, I thought that word was shit, too.

[angelicguy]

my toddler is 3 years old and wont eat anything other than fine porterhouse steaks and sweet port wine

[milk5-deactivated20260704]

you need to discipline your child. port is a horrible choice for the main course and wildly clashes with a rich béarnaise.

[angelicguy]

dude hes three….

[bumblr-dotcom]

And uncultured. Get a new child

[energyprison]

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

[love4hobi]

me @ jhope

[nihilo-sensei]

God, that beat…. I’m going to be humming that all day now. I had to track original artist so I could download this: Grace Hayes on YouTube.

[only-cat-memes]

[tpwrtrmnky]

the real answer to almost every "does [identity A] belong in [identity B] spaces" question is actually just "these spaces are informal social groups and if you're cool you can hang, don't worry about it"

[tpwrtrmnky]

You can be Homer Simpson at the lesbian bar. It's fine. Don't worry about it.

[lizardlicks]

not without those fire exits I'm not. have fun in your death trap, ladies

[mrsandman42069]

[aggressionbread]

just letting everyone know this post has been cooking for 7 years and it'll finally post in 2028

its so old that when i click edit the corners of the boxes are still sharp

[randomencounters]

Encounter: the twin Imps of Sour Stomach and Headache

[animentality]

[furryprovocateur]

mature content warnings on text posts of nothing but letters on a screen. . . remember when you were allowed to post like an adult and not be shamed or silenced for it

[furryprovocateur]

there is no acceptable explanation for this post being given a mature content warning outside of saying that you are an adult baby on the cyber nanny website!

[punkrock-bottom]

They hate me for being a horny pervert but I have warriors defending my honour across the globe

[batshit-auspol]

Please enjoy the infectious laughter of the Australian senate struggling to keep its composure while grilling a man about bee semen

[batshit-auspol]

Regularly forget we posted this and then are hit like a brick with notifications like this one

[conspiracydawg]

sight I saw in san francisco, twice: gaggle of tiny children leashed together being herded along, everyone in hi-vis

[mikkeneko]