It’s finally over.
Two years. That how long you’re going to be gone for, two years. I know you’re going to sit in there and think of more reasons to hate me and put blame on me for your actions and I’m sorry that you’re not adult enough to face facts and admit to your wrongdoings and take responsibility for your actions. I wish you were different. I wish you were actually the person you perceived yourself to be. I wish that it didn’t have to be this way but in many ways, I’m grateful because I have benefited tremendously just by making that one phone call that changed it all. For all the times you said that I was going to suffer and that I can’t do it on my own and that I am going to be a single mom and not know what to do without you. I think its funny. How literally nothing has gone your way since that day. While the kids and I haven’t gotten everything we need and more. Your son has been in school for 3 months now and already has made tremendous improvements. Your daughter is walking and beginning to talk. You missed her first birthday, your sons 11th birthday, Thanksgiving and now Christmas and so many more moments you’re not going to be around for. All because of your decisions. Your kids are going to be 13, 5, 3 and 2 when you get out. Wow. That’s the first time I’ve mentioned the kids' ages and it actually just hit me. I’m so sad for them. None of them deserved this. Yet somehow I still miss you. Not as a lover as my friend. Even though I know that too was just another show you put on, I miss talking to you and laughing with you. What I really miss is beer condasoring with you. Which I know sounds dumb but it was sort of our thing and I also don't know wtf I’m looking for when I buy beer now. But I’ll get used to it. I wish you were mature enough to let me send you letters and pictures of the kids but I know you will only use that against me a way to get me back into your control. I so badly want to send you the Christmas pictures of the kids and tell you how well they’re doing but you won't see it that way. As a matter of fact I know you’re not thinking about the kids at all. They were never a priority to you and probably never will be. Your oldest is going to suffer more than any of the kids because of this too. Mark my words he’s going to become exactly like you and it’s devasting that you or his mom can’t see that. My kids will no longer be subjected to your childish behavior. Our son will grow up to respect women and treat them with kindness, your daughter is going to find a man that will love her and treat her like a queen. I hope that you spend your time in there thinking about how you’ve treated ALL the women in your life and how it’s finally caught up to you. You’re going to 40 when you get out, an old man. You will no longer be able to obtain your boyish image you will be old and tired. I will be thriving and you WILL see me shine and that’s a promise. I will always love you but I love myself more. Good luck to you in there...see you in 2 years asshole.












