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@kavuffle
Do it for the meme. http://blinkingguy.com
why do some companies send whole emails just to say someone opened your resume. what use is this information to me. i opened a jug of orange juice this morning and i didnt feel the need to alert tropicana
sorry for accidentally phrasing this exactly like a seinfeld bit
that is the face of a man worried he will be next
Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.
Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.
crane husband.....
this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.
(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:
Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s. The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.
As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.
It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.
Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.
The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.
They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.
Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.
Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.
Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent. (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)
It worked!
Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.
However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them. (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)
Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird. White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive. (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)
Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this
she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)
His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)
the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)
"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")
chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"
just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.
well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.
Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes
Uh oh looks like tumblr's video/image blocking software is on the move again
Multiple crane wives? Apparently the crane internet is just pictures of this guy in "This is the ideal male body" memes.
1,372 votes and 251 comments so far on Reddit
Go cheer yourselves up, ladies. The comments are absolutely inspired.
phenomenal rat
@cypric-rat-hyperfixation
shit man this got me emotional
I love you space I love you stars I love you galaxies I love you NASA I love you scientists I love you James Webb Space Telescope
This is the funniest review I have ever seen. He is all of us 💀
Credit: Chuzus on YouTube!
He cleared his throat and took a deep breath, hoping it would clear his head. Instead, he simply got an intoxicating whiff of her scent, which was an odd combination of exotic lilies and sensible soap.
But there was that damned scent again. Lilies. He could swear it was lilies. And soap.
He found himself wondering how she’d feel if he pulled her into his arms, how she’d taste if he traced the outline of her lips with his tongue. Would she smell like the garden? Or would that maddening scent of lilies and soap still cling to her skin?
Even in her wedding gown she smelled of lilies and soap, that maddening scent that had haunted him for weeks.
Once the two sisters were gone, he settled into the comfortable chair so recently vacated by Kate. It was still warm from her body, and he rather fancied that he could smell her scent in the fabric. More soap than lilies this time, he thought with a careful sniff. Perhaps the lilies were a perfume, something she added at night.
(aka book Anthony being just as obsessed with Kate’s smell as show Anthony is)
#every time Kate does something BRIDGERTON SEASON 2
Every time Kate and Anthony would just stand there and breathe on each other and then dramatically walk away
Bridgerton season two as Brooklyn 99 quotes
pt 4/4
anthony: *smells kate’s hair as she walks by*
lady danbury:
when penelope uses an irish accent as her disguise on bridgerton:
Some of my thoughts about Bridgerton season 2 (these will be out of order) MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS:
• First off, I just want to start out by saying that Simone and Jonathan's performances were out of this world. You could feel every emotion they portrayed; you could feel the yearning, the frustration, the passion, the angst, every single time they were in a scene together. They brought Kanthony to life better than anyone else could have ever dreamed of.
• Because of them, Kate and Anthony's chemistry was unmatched. Every touch, every lingering stare, every almost kiss, had my heart fluttering and me biting my fist from pure excitement. During their intimate moments it almost felt like I was intruding on their privacy. I felt like Anthony and Kate were real people, and not just actors playing a part. All I'm saying is Jonathan and Simone better get all the rewards!
• I've already stated this, but Lord Featherington and Portia's scheming 'romance' was really boring to me and also quite gross. The fact that it came out of nowhere and the lack of chemistry was a turn off.
• But I'm so so proud of Portia for choosing her girls without hesitation. She has made some questionable decisions no doubt, and isn't the best at showing her affection towards them, but I know she does love them and want them to be happy. If she didn't she would have gone with Lord Featherington, because she obviously did have feelings for him. Big props to her for that.
• I'm gonna get hate, but I don't really like what they did with Edwina's character. In the book Edwina is more understanding and happy for her sister, and knows exactly what she wants in a husband, but then again Anthony didn't propose to her in the book 😒 I can understand her feeling hurt, truly I can, but I feel like she took it too far when she told Kate that they are only half sisters. That was a low blow, especially considering Kate felt she needed to earn her way into their family, and set aside her own happiness to ensure that Edwina and Mary got theirs first.
• Even when she wasn't blind to their feelings anymore, and she could see how much they truly cared for each other, she was still acting bitter and treating Kate poorly and calling her an unkind person and not forgiving Kate until the accident. Edwina in the book would never do these things. I still love her though. She is only human after all.
• I saw a lot of growth with Colin towards Pen this season. The way he stared at her when he first saw her after a while, him protecting her and her family and telling her she's special to him... Only for him to once again regress at the end. I love angst though, so I'm not really bothered by what he said. It makes me think that in season three it will play a big part in his and Penelope's story. What I am upset about is how he laughed at the expense of her with the guys. That was really messed up, especially after he had just got done telling her she was special to him and that he will always protect her.
• I better see Penelope distancing herself from him, or better yet straight up ignoring him. I want him confused and I want him to pine for her presence without even knowing that's what he is doing. Most of all, I need Penelope to have suitors. I need obliviously jealous Colin like I need the air to breathe! I want the tables flipped, I want Pen to give up on the fantasy of Colin and actually show interest to these suitors. After the little stunt he pulled, I need Colin to be the one doing the pining this time.
• My heart broke at Eloise and Penelope breaking their friendship. I love them both dearly, but maybe this is for plot purposes? Like maybe so Penelope won't be around the Bridgerton' s anymore, which will affect Colin? And Eloise and Penelope as well. Because let's be real, Penelope and Eloise are for life. I just wonder if El is going to tell her family or anyone about Penelope's secret.. 🤔😩
• Loved all the Bridgerton family scenes, along with all of the individual family members. They will always be one of my favorite things about the show. The playful jabs and banters, all of them always being there for one another no matter what, the raw emotional moments, etc.
• When Anthony sniffed the air when Kate walked by and Lady Danbury caught him and loudly cleared her throat - that was peak comedy 😂😂 I snorted so loud I was afraid I woke the rest of the house up.
• Not to mention his reaction to seeing her bare thigh.. the man is a capital R Rake but was left speechless and flustered at just seeing her leg. He already had it bad. 🤭
• Marina being the number one polin shipper... Hell yess! I didn't see it coming, but I'm so happy about it.
• The Queen's storyline was boring as well, but I love her so much for putting her own desires aside and approving of Kate and Anthony's love. If it wasn't for her, I'm not sure how Kate and Anthony could have ended up together without tarnishing their families names.
• That's all I can think of right now, but if I happen to think of more I'll be sure to share them with you all!
The two of you cannot seem to stay away from one another. Because she is aggravating! Oh, is that what i just witnessed?