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@kayteelern
Back on Tunblr after a four year hiatus. Whee!
I want to remind everyone AGAIN, as Tony Awards season nears:
Tonys are the awards.
Tonyâs is a pizzeria.
Dunno. They sound the same to me. But, since when did the Tonys ever care about sound?
You get an award for pyrotechnics because that was a sick burn.
q2qcomics: âThereâs also no Tony for pyroâŚ. Props for that joke though. Speaking of which, props also doesnât have a Tony.âÂ
Seems like you guys are just projecting a lot of your anger here. Itâs impressive, but unfortunately thereâs no award for projections either.
Can we all manage to take 5 and give them a break? Oh wait, there isnât Tony for stage management either.
This techlâd our funny bone
I place one lawyer face down and end my turn. Your witness.
I was expecting a loss.jpg when I scrolled down.
Me too.
FUCK
isnât it amazing!! six continents, seven billion people on the planet, and a whole lifetime of choices and outcomes and in this particular string of decisions, in this point in time, out of everyone i get to meet, i got lucky enough to know you
I like this one because itâs suppose to be mushy and cute but with a certain tone of voice I could very easily turn this entire sentence into a passive aggressive fuck off
everybody you have ever met came out of a vagina screaming in fear
I did not
weâre always forgotten on posts like this but c-section privilege is being able to fulfill the prophecy and kill macbeth so who really wins
Baby trying to eat hard food for the first time. Listen to his determination!!
what the fuck ethan
I wish i had a context for this. But I really dont.
I was all ready to âum, actuallyâ this, but, um, actually thereâs about 3-4 grams of iron in a person, which x400 is 1.2-1.6kg, which is a smallish but not unreasonable sword. So. Math checks out.
How would you extract the iron, though? The more practical solution would be to kill a mere hundred men, then mix 1 part blood with 3 parts standard molten iron, imo. Cheaper and faster, while still retaining the edge that only evil magic can give you.
Or, you could just make the sword of iron, and then use the blood to temper the blade.
1.2 to 1.6 kilograms is a perfectly reasonable large sword.  Your average longsword was 1.1â1.8 kg and I donât even remember if thatâs including the weight of the hilt, guard, and pommel or just the blade.  Your more classic âknight swordâ was a mere 1.1 kilograms on average; the blood of 400 men is more than enough.
This is using the comparatively crappy metallurgy of medieval Europe and their meh iron swords. Â Move east to, say, contemporary Iran and make a scimitar using high carbon steel (~2%) for a .75 kilogram blade and you only need the blood of about 225 men.
So putting my thoughts in on this⌠because how could I not.
So youâve exsanguinated your 400 guys to get the iron for your sword. Cool. But now you have 400 bodies lying around.
Why not put those to good use and cremate them. Use the carbon from those 400 bodies (you wonât need all of them) and now you can make a nice mid-high carbon steel sword.
Now you have a sword forged with the blood of your enemies AND strengthened with their bones.
âhigh fantasy mathâ - the tag I should have expected to write some day.
Iâm so proud of everyone in this post
Did some super (duper) thorough research to finally bring the highly requested uterus character to life.
Getting friends in to musicals is hard because when they ask what itâs about you have to be like â15 year olds having sexâ or âa plant from outer space that takes over the worldâ or âteenagers killing people for funâ or âAlexander Hamiltonâ
â7 minorities deal with crushing poverty and the looming specter of death by being a dick to their landlordâ
âSesame Street, but like⌠for adultsâ
âThis one time in the 1830s a bunch of college students decided to fight the entire French government andâŚit didnât go very well.â
âA nun and a retired naval officer fight Nazis with cute kids and the power of song.â
âA couple of guys stage the first-ever musical, and William Shakespeare is kind of a dickwad.â
âA transwoman rock singer recounts her escape from East Berlin in a case of WORST TIMING EVER.â
âItâs based on a John Waters movieâŚno not Pink Flamingos.â
âItâs the Bible by the guy that did Cats. No, no, itâs likeâŚreally angry.â
âEven if youâre struggling with finding your place in the world, you shouldnât let a group of actors convince you to set yourself on fire.â
âHave you ever wondered how many people have tried to kill the president?â
âHow to get away with murder, the speakeasy AU.â âA only marginally accurate recounting of the opening of Japan to the west, with experimental musical styles meant to imitate the consequent shifting of Japanese culture, told with as little recognizable plot as possible.â
âItâs about how trains probably feel.â
âItâs a guy whoâs, like, excessively single and all his friends are married and kind of invasive about it, tbh.â
âFairytales. And itâs actually dark as fuck.â
âCannibalismâ
âA fucked up family whoâs haunted by this sexy ghost.â
âItâs a newspaper boyband and they revolt.â
Listen as Mariska Hargitay reads the Hamiltome
Prepare to be transported.Â
This dog sucks at fetch
âWHO FUCKING THREW THIS.â
Iâm trying.
shit that happens in like every production of hamlet:
ophelia has a bundle of letters in the nunnery scene
hamlet takes the letters and rips them up while yelling at her
shit that SHOULD happen in a production of hamlet:
ophelia has a bundle of letters in the nunnery scene
hamlet doesnât lay a finger on them
after hamlet yells and exits, ophelia opens up the bundle
and slowly, carefully, methodically, tears each piece of paper to shreds
and gets up, and walks away
and leaves her father and the king to clean up the scraps
What is the evolutionary benefit or purpose of having periods? Why canât women just get pregnant without the menstrual cycle?
Suzanne Sadedin, Ph.D. in evolutionary biology from Monash University
Iâm so glad you asked. Seriously. The answer to this question is one of the most illuminating and disturbing stories in human evolutionary biology, and almost nobody knows about it. And so, O my friends, gather close, and hear the extraordinary tale of:
HOW THE WOMAN GOT HER PERIOD
Contrary to popular belief, most mammals do not menstruate. In fact, itâs a feature exclusive to the higher primates and certain bats*. Whatâs more, modern women menstruate vastly more than any other animal. And itâs bloody stupid (sorry). A shameful waste of nutrients, disabling, and a dead giveaway to any nearby predators. To understand why we do it, you must first understand that you have been lied to, throughout your life, about the most intimate relationship you will ever experience: the mother-fetus bond.
Isnât pregnancy beautiful? Look at any book about it. Thereâs the future mother, one hand resting gently on her belly. Her eyes misty with love and wonder. You sense she will do anything to nurture and protect this baby. And when you flip open the book, you read about more about this glorious symbiosis, the absolute altruism of female physiology designing a perfect environment for the growth of her child.
If youâve actually been pregnant, you might know that the real story has some wrinkles. Those moments of sheer unadulterated altruism exist, but theyâre interspersed with weeks or months of overwhelming nausea, exhaustion, crippling backache, incontinence, blood pressure issues and anxiety that youâll be among the 15% of women who experience life-threatening complications.
From the perspective of most mammals, this is just crazy. Most mammals sail through pregnancy quite cheerfully, dodging predators and catching prey, even if theyâre delivering litters of 12. So what makes us so special? The answer lies in our bizarre placenta. In most mammals, the placenta, which is part of the fetus, just interfaces with the surface of the motherâs blood vessels, allowing nutrients to cross to the little darling. Marsupials donât even let their fetuses get to the blood: they merely secrete a sort of milk through the uterine wall. Only a few mammalian groups, including primates and mice, have evolved what is known as a âhemochorialâ placenta, and ours is possibly the nastiest of all.
Inside the uterus we have a thick layer of endometrial tissue, which contains only tiny blood vessels. The endometrium seals off our main blood supply from the newly implanted embryo. The growing placenta literally burrows through this layer, rips into arterial walls and re-wires them to channel blood straight to the hungry embryo. It delves deep into the surrounding tissues, razes them and pumps the arteries full of hormones so they expand into the space created. It paralyzes these arteries so the mother cannot even constrict them.
What this means is that the growing fetus now has direct, unrestricted access to its motherâs blood supply. It can manufacture hormones and use them to manipulate her. It can, for instance, increase her blood sugar, dilate her arteries, and inflate her blood pressure to provide itself with more nutrients. And it does. Some fetal cells find their way through the placenta and into the motherâs bloodstream. They will grow in her blood and organs, and even in her brain, for the rest of her life, making her a genetic chimera**.
This might seem rather disrespectful. In fact, itâs sibling rivalry at its evolutionary best. You see, mother and fetus have quite distinct evolutionary interests. The mother âwantsâ to dedicate approximately equal resources to all her surviving children, including possible future children, and none to those who will die. The fetus âwantsâ to survive, and take as much as it can get. (The quotes are to indicate that this isnât about what they consciously want, but about what evolution tends to optimize.)
Thereâs also a third player here â the father, whose interests align still less with the motherâs because her other offspring may not be his. Through a process called genomic imprinting, certain fetal genes inherited from the father can activate in the placenta. These genes ruthlessly promote the welfare of the offspring at the motherâs expense.
How did we come to acquire this ravenous hemochorial placenta which gives our fetuses and their fathers such unusual power? Whilst we can see some trend toward increasingly invasive placentae within primates, the full answer is lost in the mists of time. Uteri do not fossilize well.
The consequences, however, are clear. Normal mammalian pregnancy is a well-ordered affair because the mother is a despot. Her offspring live or die at her will; she controls their nutrient supply, and she can expel or reabsorb them any time. Human pregnancy, on the other hand, is run by committee â and not just any committee, but one whose members often have very different, competing interests and share only partial information. Itâs a tug-of-war that not infrequently deteriorates to a tussle and, occasionally, to outright warfare. Many potentially lethal disorders, such as ectopic pregnancy, gestational diabetes, and pre-eclampsia can be traced to mis-steps in this intimate game.
What does all this have to do with menstruation? Weâre getting there.
From a female perspective, pregnancy is always a huge investment. Even more so if her species has a hemochorial placenta. Once that placenta is in place, she not only loses full control of her own hormones, she also risks hemorrhage when it comes out. So it makes sense that females want to screen embryos very, very carefully. Going through pregnancy with a weak, inviable or even sub-par fetus isnât worth it.
Thatâs where the endometrium comes in. Youâve probably read about how the endometrium is this snuggly, welcoming environment just waiting to enfold the delicate young embryo in its nurturing embrace. In fact, itâs quite the reverse. Researchers, bless their curious little hearts, have tried to implant embryos all over the bodies of mice. The single most difficult place for them to grow was â the endometrium.
Far from offering a nurturing embrace, the endometrium is a lethal testing-ground which only the toughest embryos survive. The longer the female can delay that placenta reaching her bloodstream, the longer she has to decide if she wants to dispose of this embryo without significant cost. The embryo, in contrast, wants to implant its placenta as quickly as possible, both to obtain access to its motherâs rich blood, and to increase her stake in its survival. For this reason, the endometrium got thicker and tougher â and the fetal placenta got correspondingly more aggressive.
But this development posed a further problem: what to do when the embryo died or was stuck half-alive in the uterus? The blood supply to the endometrial surface must be restricted, or the embryo would simply attach the placenta there. But restricting the blood supply makes the tissue weakly responsive to hormonal signals from the mother â and potentially more responsive to signals from nearby embryos, who naturally would like to persuade the endometrium to be more friendly. In addition, this makes it vulnerable to infection, especially when it already contains dead and dying tissues.
The solution, for higher primates, was to slough off the whole superficial endometrium â dying embryos and all â after every ovulation that didnât result in a healthy pregnancy. Itâs not exactly brilliant, but it works, and most importantly, itâs easily achieved by making some alterations to a chemical pathway normally used by the fetus during pregnancy. In other words, itâs just the kind of effect natural selection is renowned for: odd, hackish solutions that work to solve proximate problems. Itâs not quite as bad as it seems, because in nature, women would experience periods quite rarely â probably no more than a few tens of times in their lives between lactational amenorrhea and pregnancies***.
We donât really know how our hyper-aggressive placenta is linked to the other traits that combine to make humanity unique. But these traits did emerge together somehow, and that means in some sense the ancients were perhaps right. When we metaphorically âate the fruit of knowledgeâ â when we began our journey toward science and technology that would separate us from innocent animals and also lead to our peculiar sense of sexual morality â perhaps that was the same time the unique suffering of menstruation, pregnancy and childbirth was inflicted on women. All thanks to the evolution of the hemochorial placenta.
https://www.quora.com/what-is-the-evolutionary-benefit-or-purpose-of-having-periods
Itâs this shit, right here, that explains why my DJ name is âDJ Pregnancyâ*
Jesus christ. No thank you, terrorist embryos with your hormones of mass destruction.
And people ask why I'm pro-choice