I'm back, bitches

[wimtch]

this is such a cool idea, premade adhesive wax seals 👀 great it you don’t have the access/ability to make your own, or if you just want the convenience

🕯️ link here 🕯️

[theladymorganlefay]

**Reminder that "smudging" is part of a closed practice. Please call it smoke cleansing.

[theladymorganlefay]

**Reminder that "smudging" is part of a closed practice. Please call it smoke cleansing.

[thebestoftumbling]

big cats playing

[everythingtigers]

This isn’t just tigers obviously but I think it’s amazing how even though they aren’t the same species they recognise each other as a part of the cat family and play as they would with their own kin! So cute

[hallowedhorrors-deactivated2020]

This is the best thing I have ever seen in my life.

[danudaine]

I like how you can see the difference of a jaguar and an African leopard right next to each other *_*

[songofkeys]

I love how that one lion just walks right on in and flops into the pile

[roisinlikesbooks]

Heaven is real

[cultbb]

Cats is magical

[bmouse]

@tinsnip

[moontheoretist]

HOUSEHUSBAND IS HERE!

[essekknits]

Jester Lavorre doesn’t die. She simply doesn’t. When she’s old, she simply ascends to the status of a minor deity, residing over mischief, inappropriately timed Sendings, and if Exandria ever develops an equivalent of phones, texting.

In the year 1385 P.D, there are trickery domain clerics who follow Jester. They can use Channel Divinity to cast Sending. I can’t decide if her holy symbol would be a pair of clasped hands (like her tattoo), or a green dick (because it’s funny).

When they Commune with her, instead of a yes or no they get a 25 word answer, Jester sending style. The last words might be a bit wonky sometimes, like she got carried away and someone is counting her last words for her. As they receive these messages they usually get visions, but instead of the visions being relevant to the question, they’re usually just places she’s been/places she likes. A ship at sea on a sunny day. A strange forest that looks like it doesn’t belong on the material plane (because it doesn’t). The small room of a child, walls covered with drawings. A tastefully decorated, luxurious room that those from Nicodranas would know to recognise as that of the legendary Ruby of the Sea, now practically a shrine of its own. A roof, with a tree covered in sunlight growing from it.

Essek, the only one other than Caduceus still alive to see this change, is very amused. He visits her small temples and shrines, leaving pastries and trinkets and occasionally an elegantly drawn dick in a hidden spot, for old times’ sake. Because it would make her laugh, seeing him participate in this.

On occasion, he gets an echo of her voice in his head, giving him an update from wherever she is, a reminder that she loves him, and sometimes a string of “do do dodo” if she didn’t have enough words without it. He continues to receive those until the day he dies.

[michaelmilkers]

tbh no april fools gag tumblr ever pulls will ever be as good as the lizard election of 2016 staff put more effort into that than the rest of this website combined and it shows

[michaelmilkers]

for those of you who werent here in 2016 on april fools that year the entire fucking website was transformed and there was an election for a position that wasnt even ever specified and the candidates were four lizards (or three lizards and a salamander as a scandal would later prove) and it was called decision2016

each lizard had their own 3d models and tumblr blog and campaign and there was also a tumblr blog dedicated to reporting on the election and they made like whole ass news broadcasts with a guy in front of a green screen

you could vote for your favorite candidate and there was a built-in function that let you make and post a campaign poster

in case anyone was wondering the winner of the election was mop. relatable and reliable. #Mop Could

[chantrymouse]

lest we forget

[sreegs]

This was absolutely the biggest April Fools effort I ever witnessed while on staff. I already posted about this in an ask but here’s more of the shit that went down behind the scenes.

- Like all April Fools, this was done entirely through volunteer work on Staff. No one was forced to work on April Fools, it’s always employee-initiated and driven, even if it needs approval from leadership.

- The prank almost didn’t go through because leadership felt that the lizards weren’t relatable enough, so the compromise was to give them hats.

- The video updates on the Decision 2016 blog were greenscreen Fiverr actors that were all recorded months? Weeks? in advance? I wasn’t on creative so I don’t know all the deets about how those were made.

- As mentioned in my post, the victory speech by Mop was one of our designers screaming as loud as she could in a closet near the end of the day. The full audio was never posted but staff kept passing around the scream on slack and laughing about it for months afterwards

- There was a “war room” dedicated to advancing the election narrative as votes came in, posting updates in real time and also pushing changes to code as necessary (for bug fixes and what not)

- The votes were real and the “election” was decided by real users, even if the graphics and whatnot were exaggerated for comical effect. Mop won because Mop won. Democracy at work

- Someone brought in their own lizard to celebrate the proceedings. It was a bearded dragon

- This was the culmination of what was probably the most cohesive and imaginative (and largest) creative team Tumblr ever had. Unfortunately almost all of them are now long gone, and Tumblr Creative is now just a skeleton crew compared to their peak

- Wretched Tooth Doesn’t Like To Talk About Himself

- People drew porn of the lizards and posted it on Tumblr. Staff saw it and were sending it to each other on the company Slack. We thought it was great. I mean, terrifying, but great

- This picture of David Karp is my favorite photo of David Karp I have on my phone

[corvidcall]

to anyone in the areas impacted by the wildfire smoke, my #1 biggest piece of advice as someone whos been dealing with wildfire smoke in the NW united states for years, is build yourself a Corsi-Rosenthal Cube

they perform as well as expensive HEPA air cleaners, and are comparatively VERY inexpensive. all you need is a box fan, 4 air filters, a piece of cardboard, and some duct tape!!!!

i think it took us maybe a half hour to put ours together, if that, and we replace the filters every 3 months. it's really made a HUGE difference, both when the air quality is bad, but also with our allergies

[o0fyuu0o]

Saw these easy to read instructions on Twitter. Stay safe 💚

[sun-cheyne]

Also just a handy, DIY air filter in general, if a bit bulky. For a less bulky and cheaper (but also less effective) solution, you can simply tape one filter to the fan, cut a shroud if you'd like.

[snowriddenwolf]

just FYI, this is quite literally what the climate scientists at my work who specialized in wildfire smoke impacts recommend. it works great, it's cheap to make, and it will make a noticeable impact on your air quality.

[mechanicalriddle]

i have asthma & keep one of these running in my room perpetually. after I set it up the difference in my sleep quality was pretty much night and day. Dont waste your time on proprietary air filters; SIMPLY bust out the duct tape

[jellyfishforest135]

Typical science teacher behavior

[karadenizliadam]

🚀🛸🛰

[dirhwangdaseul-archived]

I’m gonna go fucking apeshit over this.

@vague-humanoid

[neil-gaiman]

I remember as a schoolboy being told by artist Roger Dean that Chris Ross’s SF book covers, featuring enormous space ships, were actually pictures of Vaccuum Cleaners, Irons, and things you’d find around the house. (Also being told by Roger that Chris Foss could indeed draw people and had illustrated The Joy of Sex.) Which meant I could never again see a Chris Foss spaceship without imagining it in a kitchen.

[justasillynerd]

Hello

I am just ecstatic to see Roger Dean mentioned in the wild. He is one of the most influential artists in terms of my childhood and inspiring me to create art, and why my abstract art looks the way it does ever since my dad gave me an artbook of his.

Yet almost no one seems to know who he is…and omg not only is someone actually mentioning Roger Dean, that someone is @neil-gaiman 0.0

(And Infeel obligated to show of some of Roger Dean’s amazing art)

[neil-gaiman]

It hadn’t even occurred to me that anyone wouldn’t know who Roger Dean is.

[extramadness]

More quotes here

[webelieveinyoukris-blog]

Being gay is natural? Okay.

You have three islands. Divide them into groups of one. The straight island, the gay island, and the lesbian island. The straight island is going to reproduce and keep going strong for millions of generations to come. The gay and lesbian islands will both wipe out in not even one century. This isn’t just about religion or morals, it’s just simple common sense. Being gay is unnatural, and not just because God said so, but because you yourself wouldn’t even be born without a REAL natural man and woman. And no, there is no such thing as a lesbian bone marrow “thing” to have children. That’s a biased fact that came from a lesbian scientist who has false opinions. If it’s not a real penis or vagina, then it’s fucking false and you’re just opinionated by dumb facts. I’m done here. Read over what I said and if you still think that being gay is normal and natural, then I hope you achieve some common sense one day. Bye

[yeinns-blog]

Where is this gay island located.. asking for a friend

[queercakes]

I just have SO MANY questions. Why were we all separated onto different islands? Did the government sanction this? If so, why? Why didn’t we revolt against this tyrannical government? Where are these islands? How were they chosen? Are the continents of the world abandoned? What kind of resources are on each island? Are they the same or different? Does each island have a right to form its own government or does the government that segregated us still rule? If so, what island do they rule from and how do they communicate with the other two islands? If they can communicate with the other two islands, can all three islands communicate with each other? If the straight people keep reproducing, won’t their island become overpopulated and their resources depleted? Islands only have so much space right? Do straight people stop having gay kids? Isn’t it a fact that, to date, straight people are the largest manufacturers of gay kids? If a gay kid is born on straight island, do they get sent to their appropriate island? Wouldn’t that aid in the re-population of gay and lesbian island? What about people who are attracted to more than one gender? Are they just lost at sea, floating aimlessly? Is the ocean full of listless pansexuals, floating nowhere? Or are they trapped in some sort of purgatory because they don’t fit on any one island? Are there trees on lesbian island? Is it conceivable that if there were, a large group of lesbians could build a boat? Have you ever seen lesbians around timber? If they built a boat, could they travel to gay island? How far apart are the islands? If they could travel to gay island, would they be able to collect semen, return to lesbian island, and repopulate the island? Would they be able to send some of those children to gay island? Do trans people exist in this world? If so, wouldn’t they be able to aid in repopulation? If the lesbians decided to declare war on the heterosexuals, would they be able to reach their island? On the way to heterosexual island, could the lesbians pick up the gays and scoop the floating bisexuals from the sea? If so, would they all be able to go and attack heterosexual island together, wiping out its people’s, stealing its children and taking all its resources? Does this fantasy world get you off at night? Please write back soon!

[fieldbears]

Speaking up from the pansexual archipelago: I too have these questions

[nothowtheforceworks]

Checking in from bisexual bay: The boats are nearly complete and are equipped with a special invisibility function. We attack at dawn

[fieldbears]

Fuck the questions, lemme on that boat, I’m coming with you

[aspiring-weird-old-man]

*random ace just floating away into the sky like a balloon*

[jezunya]

I am so here for an asexual sky nation. We live in floating cities and master the wind currents. Newly minted ace youths are sent up to us in baskets suspended under hot air balloons. We breed giant birds to bear us through the skies, or else build ourselves wings and gliders to fly in their midst. The only land we know are the tallest mountain peaks and the world is a bright blue gem spreading out beneath us.

(And we will of course be providing air support for the impending attack on Straight Island)

[thatwriterchickyouknow]

OP’s nasty-ass post got turned into a goddamn sci-fi dystopian adventure and I’m so here for it.

[whalleyrulz]

oh my god Bisexual Buccaneers from Both-Ways Bay is both a porn tile and my new life goals

[space-flannel-deactivated201707]

i’m an asexual homoromantic does this make me our young heroine torn between worlds

[lectorel]

You spend part of your time on lesbian island, learning the stories, and traditions, and part of your time in the vast floating asexual cities, training with your eagle so that you can one day become one of the chosen few: the messengers, who carry letters and passengers between islands, jumping the heterosexual blockades. When you enter this select group, you’re assigned the job of collecting reports from spies pretending to heterosexual on straight island, flying in at the dead of night, risking discovery to collect vital intelligence. You fall in love with a pansexual girl who’s chosen to hide her orientation so she can aid the Resistance. At the climax of the novel, you swoop down from above on your giant eagle to rescue your lady love from a frenzied mob. As straight island burns in the background, you share a chaste kiss and cuddle while discussing the possibility of a mountain-top pansexual outpost.

[lynati]

IT CAME BACK AROUND AND IT GOT BETTER!

[keeyoni]

Hello I understand you've changed accounts but can you answer a quick question ? How did you, for your fork scepter , make skaia out of ? Like the ball

Hey! I will always check back on this account to answer questions and such. :)To answer yours, I will be replying with some in progress pics for ya. Just give me a minute. 

[keeyoni]

So, as you can see, I have all the wood to make the staff, but those two 12 inch Styrofoam ball halves are what I made the “Skaia” portion of the skaia fork out of.   

Here is an in progress painting picture of the two halves. I had no template because I was pretty sure I could freehand them and have it turn out vaguely symmetrical.  The half circle cut out of the one on the left, joins up with the one on the right and make a hole that will snugly fit the wooden rod I had for the main part of the fork. To get it all attached, I hot glued the two halves together, then put hot glue on the bottom of the rod and shoved it through the hole and stood it upright to bond the inside of the ball to the rod, then glued all the way around the base, which would be covered by the clay molding I made.  (Below)

I think this picture shows pretty well, what I meant above. I was worried about the seem showing, but it never looks bad in pictures. And the clay covers the hot glue mess beneath it.  If you have any other questions, just let me know :)

[keeyoni]

Hello I understand you've changed accounts but can you answer a quick question ? How did you, for your fork scepter , make skaia out of ? Like the ball

Hey! I will always check back on this account to answer questions and such. :)To answer yours, I will be replying with some in progress pics for ya. Just give me a minute. 

[keeyoni]

I AM MAKING A NEW TUMBLR

Hello, everyone. I know I have sooooo much stuff on this account.  But it’s not just about a name change.  I am moving to a new account because I know for a fact that there are certain people stalking my tumblr who shouldn’t be because they made it clear they don’t want to be in my life.  SO If you send me a message or reblog this saying you would like to continue being my follower, then I will put you on my list of people to get my new account name.  Sorry, but I’m done monitoring what I put on here for others’ sakes. 

[keeyoni]

I AM MAKING A NEW TUMBLR

Hello, everyone. I know I have sooooo much stuff on this account.  But it’s not just about a name change.  I am moving to a new account because I know for a fact that there are certain people stalking my tumblr who shouldn’t be because they made it clear they don’t want to be in my life.  SO If you send me a message or reblog this saying you would like to continue being my follower, then I will put you on my list of people to get my new account name.  Sorry, but I’m done monitoring what I put on here for others’ sakes. 

[keeyoni]

I AM MAKING A NEW TUMBLR

Hello, everyone. I know I have sooooo much stuff on this account.  But it’s not just about a name change.  I am moving to a new account because I know for a fact that there are certain people stalking my tumblr who shouldn’t be because they made it clear they don’t want to be in my life.  SO If you send me a message or reblog this saying you would like to continue being my follower, then I will put you on my list of people to get my new account name.  Sorry, but I’m done monitoring what I put on here for others’ sakes.