Cogito, ergo sum

Part food blog, part journal, part ranting forum...and part everything else.

[greelin]

we are on like covid variant #100037 and rsv/flu/pneumonia cases are rising and people will show up unmasked and be like “yeah i’ve been sick for days :/” like. ok. Get the fuck away from me then? why are you out here breathing on everything. the very least you could be doing is masking. NOT hacking into open air every two seconds.

[greelin]

i feel genuinely insane for getting annoyed whenever people just cough into their hands and touch shit or directly cough into the air but it’s like. that’s bad. right. that is rude. that is not something you should be doing. above the age of three. can we acknowledge this. Hello

[lemon-embalmer]

fantasy characters: “Geez”

me: who the fuck spread Christianity there

[lemon-embalmer]

this two-years-old shitpost just gained a hundred notes who the snickerdoodles dug it up

[she-who-fights-and-writes]

W H A T

[slumpyspaceprincess]

@rogha

[thewhisperingescapes]

[mirkwoodest]

In moments like this I always fall back on the fact that they also aren’t speaking English because they don’t have England or the many languages and conquering peoples that contributed to the creation of the English language and therefore the work musr be a translation into recognizable terms in our world’s terms. Call that Tolkien Brainrot.

[bellbottom-jeans]

Definitely funnier if you make fantasy explanations though,

Champagne is a wizard who sells bubbly alcohol.

It’s called English because of the original Lish people, all languages start with En here.

French fries are not potatoes they’re roots of the french plant.

Goodbye is now short for ‘good be your eye’ wishing you luck seeing the path ahead.

Jesus Christ is a long dead lich who used to cause everyone problems and we haven’t stopped saying her name when things go wrong.

[thatgaydemigodnerd]

And that’s the Pratchett approach

[cahootings]

“their relationship is too deep to be sexual” what’s deeper than dick in hole. please tell me

[cahootings]

a really good point but considering any stabbing is a thinly veiled penetration metaphor dick in hole prevails

[cahootings]

this post was a joke but I love the direction we’re going

[porterdavis]

[m4rs-ex3]

possible reasons for when i cannot sleep

jammed out too hard before bed

this bed ain't beddin

too low on the pillow

too high on the pillow

hair is on my neck

nothing good on in the fictional scenario department

dog chose the incorrect spot to sleep

hair is on my neck

thinking thoughts

the fact i might get up tomorrow

weighted blanket isn't enough i need a hydraulic press

HAIR IS ON MY NECK

[liberalsarecool]

We should all enjoy the progress and humanity of others. It's not zero sum.

[highfunctioningfool]

[endminx]

[cervinesatyr-deactivated2021083]

I have to reblog this every time because frankly this is absolutely genius prose

[bananonbinary]

“oh no we need to practice for our fake dating” is the funniest trope to me cause like. there are so many people who force themselves into a shitty relationship they hate just because of amatonormatiivity that it’s an ingrained part of popular culture to joke about hating your partner.

which is to say, oh my god you dont need to hold hands and go on fake dates, you don’t even need to agree on a single detail of your cover story beforehand. you can literally stand 6 feet apart at all times and look profoundly uncomfortable and all anyone will think is “yikes™. not my problem”

[bananonbinary]

actually people should address this in fanfic more because “i know we could half-ass it, but i would never fake mistreat my fake husband, how dare you” is absolutely delightful

[thekijs]

New trope: fake dating for spite.

“Look, my only goal here is for our pretend relationship to be demonstrably healthier than Aunt Rita and Uncle Carl’s fifteen year, three child marriage - which means the bar is so low we probably can’t fuck this up”

[ardinwriter]

How about fake dating because someone in this family needs to set a decent example of what a HEALTHY relationship looks like for the nieces and nephews.

[labelleizzy]

yes, yes, FIND ME THIS FIC

[nbmudkip]

“how could you have forgotten that” i forget Everything. unless i remember

[shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey]

"how can you remember that" I remember Everything. unless I forget

[frankiecorleone]

x

[yasemin-writes-deactivated20240]

Neurotypical writers giving advice: Be realistic with your goals. Try to outline or write a little every day. Refill the well. Get yourself a cup of tea and write for 30 minutes until the tea is empty. Check in daily with your accountability buddies for the next three to six months.

ADHD writers giving advice: Put on a movie that matches the tone of your novel to kickstart your dopamine and get into hyperfocus, then put a song on loop on noise-cancelling headphones, livestream your writing session so you feel watched and owe someone accountability, and write as much as you can for as long as you can. Don't forget to eat, sleep or drink. Now go write that novel in 5 days.

[yasemin-writes-deactivated20240]

In an unforeseen turn of events… I have, in fact, written a novel in 2 weeks. And that’s on ✨hyperfocus✨

[langernameohnebedeutung]

Im not my blorbo's defence lawyer. I'm their rich mom at parent night and for the money I'm paying this place, my little darling treasure gets to bite as many classmates as they like

[sreegs]

The CEO of Tumblr (same username here) is a proud Twitter blue subscriber

[predstrogen]

"i know we had a whole ad campaign making fun of twitter checkmarks to take money your money and begged you to vote for how funny it was but actually twitter blue is really good and we want to do something like that here"

[soracities]

the horrors persist, but so do the birds. thank god 🕊️💕

[selkielore]

i love constantly evolving into a cooler version of myself

[selkielore]

btw by cooler i don’t mean like. trendier or more conventionally attractive but a version of myself that feels more like an honest representation of myself and all the layers of myself that are shifting as i grow and learn more about myself and the world …. (which makes me hotter.)

[super-sootica]

With so many elections coming up worldwide it's probably a good time to remind everyone that tumblr once got infested with agents trying to convince everyone not to vote, or not to vote left because the candidates weren't morally pure enough.

Also a reminder that they were better at tumblr than most of us, comrade interloper was great at memeing. Like, the talent!

Anyway don't fall for it. There is no morally pure option.

[tzikeh]

Vote for whoever can move you one inch closer to your goals. This is a long game. If there's a candidate who wants to move you a mile closer to your goals but they do not stand a chance in the general election, you vote for whoever can move you one inch closer to your goals. The time to vote for the "one mile" candidate in the primaries. Once you get to the general, you vote for the one who has a chance in hell of winning, or you're actively working against progress. 100% of the time, voting in a general for a "can't win" candidate because their beliefs align more with your beliefs is actively working for the opposition. There is no situation in which this is not true.

[gardnerhill]

One side is addressing climate change and raising the minimum wage and forgiving student debt. The other side are GODDAMN TRAITORS AND INSURRECTIONISTS and are openly removing women's rights, LGBTQ people's rights and VOTING access. But DO tell me again that Both Sides Are Just As Bad As Each Other.

[dduane]

Vote. Every time you don’t vote moves you closer to the day when you’ll never be allowed to vote again.

[ms-cellanies]

Every time you don’t vote moves you closer to the day when you’ll never be allowed to vote again.

Let that sink in.  Our ability to vote & have our vote counted is in jeopardy across the country.  OUR LIVES & OUR FUTURE DEPEND UPON EVERYONE TO VOTE.  If you believe in DEMOCRACY & FAIR & FREE ELECTIONS THEN THE ONLY CHOICE IS ....

TO VOTE BLUE

[analytictsar]

Damn the perceived world sounds cool as hell

(blue is average of people’s estimate of percentage of population of which x is true, and red is the actual percentage)

[misanthropiccatboy]

I appreciate how it’s perceived jews are 30% of the population, muslims are 27% of the population, and atheists are 33% of the population. nobody wondered why christians were 10% huh

[cop-disliker69]

I honestly don’t even think this is as much “minorities being extremely visible”, and more just that the most people don’t understand fractions and statistics.

To most people, anything less than 10%, in any context, is basically “insignificant, not even worth your attention.”

The idea that Asians could be “only” 4% of the US population, and yet you still see a couple Asian people every day of your life, is deeply counterintuitive to most people. People don’t truly grasp that they pass by hundreds if not thousands of strangers every day and about 1 in 25 of them are going to be Asian.

Right now annual inflation is at a pretty high 9%, which is more than triple what the usual inflation rate is. But I guarantee if you asked the average person on the street what the inflation rate is right now, they’d think prices have gone up by anywhere from like 30-100%, because “9%” just doesn’t feel like a substantial or noticeable amount in their minds, even though it is.

[facelessoldgargoyle]

Obsessed with the fact that 92% of people live in NYC, California, and Texas

[jabberwockypie]

This reminds me of a different post I saw recently, wherein OP was - understandably - irked that so many professionals will characterize something that affects 1%-2% of the population as “a rare illness”. In actuality, if you’re in a lecture hall with 300 people, that means 3-6 of people who are in the same room with you. It means you might meet people with [disorder] every day, and not realize it.

[ms-cellanies]

Percentages tend to confuse the majority of people.  So, according to the chart above, 9% of the population live in Texas.  The U.S. Census in 2020 was  331,449,281.  So 9% of that number = 29,830,435.29.   Looking at that number is quite different from a “mere 9%”.  MATH IS FUN, ISN’T IT?