totally a real human person

i reblog stuff i find funny or interesting in FI/EN. sometimes i might say something. tma/tmagp/malevolent sideblog @magn-animously

[butter-n-breadrolls]

the other elves welcoming Legolas in Valinor

[heardatmedschool]

Doctor: What do you see in this X-ray?

Students: *collective gasp*

Doctor: Please don’t do that in front of patients.

[drferox]

Some alternative statements you could consider when your initial reaction is just ‘!’:

I’m glad we took that X-ray

Well this is almost certainly diagnostic

[gallusrostromegalus]

When one of my classmates broke my leg in 2nd Grade, there was an entire fiasco and I nearly died but I do remember the guy from radiology storming out to the little curtain area I was in and SLAPPING the X-ray up on the back light and the doctor actually shouting "JE-YAY-SUS! No wonder the kid doesn't have any damn blood!"

[somecunttookmyurl]

i have corneal dystrophy so my corneas will just kind of. tear. for no reason. quite frequently. cause of death: blinked too hard.

so one time i was in the eye hospital (id been there the day before and a junior doc dismissed me entirely as nothing being wrong, sent me off with no treatment, and my optician was Not Having It)

selfsame junior doc eye rolled and, when it was clear i wouldn't be leaving again, begrudgingly called in the consultant who took one glance at one eye, said "oh my god" and sent for a second consultant

who took one look and said "'ive never seen anything like it" and sent for a third

who took a quick look and said "wow. jesus. what a mess" and sent for the fourth etc

(junior doc getting progressively more embarrassed the whole time)

anyway both of my corneas have torn so many times it's apparently just a mess of scar tissue. but if you were wondering what's worse than one doctor exclaiming in surprise with 0 info, its having the entire department do it in succession

[books-bread-and-brigandage]

after I broke my leg hiking (and walked half a mile or so home on it) I was asked how o RATED MY PAIN 1-10 10 Being worst. And being very autistic and with maladaptavely high pain threshold I said (reasonig I could walk on it and do things other than beg for a death that wasnt coming) 4. My radiologist took a look at the x-ray, waved it n my face and said very very firmly "That is not a 4!"

[the-zenith-calls]

My favorite scenes in the LotR books are the ones where Legolas has vital information and just decides it's not important to share.

Like when Gandalf spent literal PAGES trying to figure out why the vibes were off in Moria and Legolas chimes in with just "it's a balrog :) that shit's evil :) we're so fucked :)" like what do you MEAN you knew already and just didn't tell him??

Or at the beginning of Two Towers when Aragorn thinks there's something nearby so he puts his ear to the ground to listen, and then like 10 minutes later is like "hmmm i hear horses" and Legolas is just like "mm yep. there are 105 blond bitches with spears" like you just let your friend put his face in the dirt and you can SEE them??

Legolas please gain a sense of urgency

[squigglyworms]

love the end of the two towers where gandalf looks into the sunset talking bout "yea frodo had to go it alone it was his destiny and there is no changing it he will be ok 😌✨" and aragorn is like "sam went with him btw" and gandalf is like "oh fuck thank god"

[real-language-facts]

there is as many languages as atoms in the universe (more than 2)

[segamascott]

[robotsarecoolaf]

[isthisahearmeout]

[Clarification; yes = yea, that's a choice & no = that's rather tame/vanilla pick]

[This poll was submitted. If you'd like to submit a character, please send it over here to the askbox]

[Only requirement for submissions is that the character is fictional]

is the Finnish language a hear me out?

Yes

Yes, but I get it

No

No, but I'm judging

Remaining time: 6 days 3 hours

[awakefor48hours]

Every once in a while, I wish the friendship meter from the Sims was real so that way when people tell me "I used Chat-GPT" they can visually see just how much respect I just lost for them in that moment.

[berkelbites]

One time an acquaintance told me she entered Snape's star chart into chatgpt and I could physically feel that meter dropping three separate times over the course of her sentence

[wanderinghalo27]

Shout out to one of the funniest sports graphics I've ever seen

[coughloop]

Worlds oldest haunted house has passed away at the age of 207

[coughloop]

I think you have a fundamental misunderstanding of... maybe everything actually

[heavensenthousepet]

you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old

[melonisopod]

[tobiasdrake]

Can you imagine being Gandalf? Getting shit from other wizards because you have a thing for hobbits and you're just like, okay. Okay, maybe I'll temper my fascination with hobbits.

This Ring quest will have two hobbits. Maximum.

Then they all get to Rivendell and have somehow multiplied into four hobbits. And it's like. Okay. Maybe the others are right.

Maybe this is too many hobbits.

We have as many hobbits as we have not-hobbits.

But damn it, you just don't want to get rid of any of these hobbits. Screw it! Everyone can deal. Four hobbits. This is a four hobbits problem.

So away you go.

And things go bad in the worst possible way.

Over and over.

You've lost your hobbits. You've lost yourself. The fellowship has been separated.

It takes everything in your power to help the humans defend themselves, bringing them together to save Rohan. Finally, as things begin to look upright, you're ready to face the war with everything the Rohirrim have left.

You're ready to face him. This may be the hardest battle you've ever fought. But you ride.

Then you get there and two of your fucking hobbits are sitting there like "Yeah, while you were gone, we raised a tree army and beat Saruman's ass. Wanna help us loot his tower?"

....

There were not, in fact, too many hobbits.

This was a four hobbits problem.

[elodieunderglass]

A wizard neither underestimates nor overestimates the number of hobbits needed for an equation. He, er, always has precisely as many as he needs to.

[comfect]

Smaug is a one-hobbit problem

Saruman a two-hobbit problem

Sauron a four-hobbit problem

I propose that, had hobbits existed at the time, this implies Morgoth would have been an eight-hobbit problem.

[animentality]

[dogpuppy]

[animentality]

[chirmartir]

CH

[rederiswrites]

Okay two things

1) every time I see something like this, or photos of wild unrealistic landscapes that really exist, or spectacular architecture, whatever it is, I think again that when we write fantasy, we NERF REALITY. That is, here's some dude with a special interest and a brain that somehow lacks basic self preservation mechanisms, and he's out here looking like a super hero. Regular humans are capable of things we seem super human. Real landscapes are more fantastical than our fantasies. Reality is more fantastical than our fantasies.

2) how the fuck did he not kick out any windows that's the most impressive part of the whole video.

[jackhawksmoor]

this man is his own zombie apocalypse team, adding anyone else would just slow him down

[rj-abacura]

So as someone who used to teach parkour back in the day, this dude isn’t just talented. His technique is amazing.

It’s not just about not kicking out windows. Controlling how you land is about shock absorption, about minimizing the strain on your joints. It also makes you quieter when you move. A good landing should be as silent as possible, because loud landings hurt. That’s the foundation of everything else you do in parkour. So by the time you’re climbing buildings, if you’re breaking windows it means you don’t have enough control to land safely and it’s time to go back to your ground basics.