Kingdom of Odd

Be free, be kind, be bold or at least try to be.

[doodlebobpatrickpants]

THE OTHER FACE OF PTSD.

“22 veterans commit suicide a day. That’s 22 too many.”

I saw some things on deployment that 99% of people in this country would never see.  I came home, but I didn’t feel “home”.  My attitude changed.  My life wasn’t the same.  I would have random bursts of anger and depression for no reason.  It ruined a relationship that was once great.  She didn’t understand and wouldn’t attempt to ask what was wrong with me. 

Nobody did.

I drink everyday. I feel alone.  I need help.

Please reblog this to create awareness that 22+ veterans committing suicide each day is unacceptable.

[friendly-neighborhood-patriarch]

Support. Love. Empathize. Our warriors deserve that much.

[kingdomofodd-blog]

This is why I stand for peace. No one should have to go through this.

[kingdomofodd-blog]

Stress Is Not Sexy

Disclaimer: The following post regards digestion and bodily function.

As a failed perfectionist there are few times I would describe my life as truly relaxed. The tide may ebb and flow, but I can never let my guard down. Stress may make me feel more energized and focused in the short term, but I can’t forget that it’s not just smoldering away - it’s gathering strength!

This month has been rough, really rough. I haven’t been sleeping great, I’ve earned almost no money, I’ve had panic attacks, I’ve been sick to my stomach, and now my body has completely betrayed me and my IBS symptoms have returned. How this happened before migraines I have no idea!

Pain, discomfort, embarrassment that have nothing to do with what I am doing in the moment. Things I can’t fix when I need them gone NOW. Not one to ever feel overly confident in my appearance, not being able to not fart in the middle of a job interview is fucking devastating.

But no wallowing in self pity! Life sucks and then you die! Action is the only solution! And googling, here is what I need to do. No excuses.

Apply lower abdominal heat daily to relax colon.

Avoid sugar and caffeine even more.

Eat as many different vegetables as I can.

Eat more beans again.

Drink chamomile tea, water kefir, lemon water and green tea.

Looking over this list, I know I can do it. I’ve fallen off the wagon a bit this week due to stress and only having to feed myself (no housemates or fiance). I can’t start applying for jobs for another couple of weeks anyway so there is time for me to straighten more of this out. I’m just so afraid and emotional it’s hard to think straight.

[transphobies-deactivated2016022]

[comtessedebussy]

THEY PUT THIS IN A TV SHOW

[amuseoffyre]

In a TV show about predators no less.

[kingdomofodd-blog]

To Find A Cure You Must Face The Disease

Megaera, Alecto and Tisiphone. Canto 9, line 46

Am I too hard on myself or not hard enough? Whether it be that I am actually facing serious anxiety or that I am too weak to withstand the normal trials of life, here is what I am feeling and how it affects me.

Fear Of Imperfection

Perhaps the strongest argument for the “I am too hard on myself”” is my perfectionism. I want to be better than anyone else has ever been. I want to do everything. I don’t want to disappoint ANYONE! I am tired of trying and failing. I want things to be easier. I don’t want to have to sleep. I want the power of my mind to overcome all the failings and ailments of my physical body.

Toxic Thought Cycles

These go all the way back to some of my earliest memories. At first it mostly had to do with fears of things outside of myself. Fear of the dark, fear of monsters, fear of witches, fear of rape. Like many other people, I was overwhelmed as a preteen and teenager by all the ways I could die. My heart could literally stop at any moment! And where would I go? Heaven or Hell. While I am a very religious person, I never feel qualified enough to consider myself saved.

Of course that is sort of the point. Grace and crap.

These days I am a lot more neurotic. The thoughts may change but the cycle continues. I go somewhere, meet some people, talk and go home. Spend the next five hours picking apart every single thing that I ever said! I can’t ignore it. I can’t think about anything else. How can I think about anything else?

Worrying Myself Sick

I’m an introvert, but not all introverts suffer from social anxiety. Until the eighth grade I was homeschooled unschooled, that is until my parents divorced. Than I had to go to “real” school and I suddenly realized that being around other people 9 to 5 drained me dangerously low. I stopped being able to eat breakfast. I gained weight. I became lactose intolerant. My brain was almost constantly fuzzy.

Stress Eating

Like a lot of people, I also try to eat my feelings. Not eating due to stress can quickly become eating the very same stress. The most common area, this is also the area where I have already built up the most defense. I eat homemade popcorn just so I can stuff my face and overeat without eating too many calories. I drink lemon juice almost straight for the strong puckering taste.

This past week has been especially hard. I’m so caught up in worrying about future work that I can’t concentrate on what I need to get done now. I’m so afraid of having to go out and find a real job. So afraid I won’t be able to find a real job. So depressed. So anxious. So self-sabotaging. That I can barely put one foot in front of the other.

But this is not who I really am. I am strong. I care. I want to help other people. I am smart. I will find a way through this. I am about to get married to the most amazing man in the world. We can get through this. 

[olivia-rivers]

Extroverts vs. Introverts

Extroverts: Are solar-powered devices that need frequent, direct exposure to energy in order to work properly. 

Introverts: Are battery-powered devices that need to be unplugged from time to time in order to work properly. 

Conclusion: Both have amazing capacities and abilities, but they function differently and shouldn’t both be expected to work the same way in every situation. 

[teamrocketgruntlisa]

This is perfect

[kingdomofodd-blog]

When is it ever beneficial to judge other people?

Maybe if your opinion might actually change their behavior... But 99% of the time this isn't true.

I'm probably forgetting something.

I'm thinking about just trying to give it up. It'll be hard. I'm not sure if not judging will have any benefits either.

[dailyinfj]

I’ve seen INFJs described many times as being very moral, ethical people, which I find to be both true and false.

For me personally, I have my own set of morals and ethics that may differ from the “mainstream” or commonly accepted morals/ethics. In the US, I think a lot of our...

[kingdomofodd-blog]

Perhaps we come across as more moral/ethical because we actually think about these things. As you say, many people simply follow what other people tell them to do, and half the time they don't even do very much of that. Most people are just hypocrites really.

INFJ's in my experience, while perhaps unique in their POV, are highly motivated by their own moral standards. We don't just have moral standers, we also tend to actually live by them. We also tend to care about other people, although this can be a very bad thing as much as it can be a very good thing.

[yayfeminism]

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

[belcanta]

Guaranteed basic income to every citizen, whether or not they are employed to ensure their survival and that they live in a dignified, humane way, preventing poverty, illness, homelessness, reducing crime, encouraging higher education and learning vocations as well as helping society become more prosperous as a whole. 

[attentiondeficitaptitude-deacti]

Wow. Forget raising the minimum wage. This is much much better idea.

The minimum wage could actually drop if we had basic income.

But Americans would never go for it. Miserably slogging through 12 hour days and having businesses open 24/7 is too engrained in our culture.

[nikkidubs-deactivated20150519]

"BUT WHERE WILL THE GOVERNMENT GET THE MONEY?" screamed Joe Schmoe, slamming a meaty fist onto the table and getting mouth-froth all over the front of his greying tank top. "You libt*rds all think money grows on TREES!! HAHA!" "But where will people get the incentive to work?!" Mindy Bindy cried, flapping her hands in front of her face. She’d had a fear of the unemployed lollygagging about ever since she was a child and her mother told her to be afraid of the unemployed lollygagging about. "You think people should get paid for nothing? I work hard for my money!”

"But who will serve me?" grumbled Marty McMoneybags. "Who will make me feel important? Who will do my laundry and cook my food and stand in front of me wearing a plastic smile while I take out all my stress—because I do have a lot of stress, you know, being this rich is stressful—on them?” He paused and straightened out the piles of hundred dollar bills on the desk in front of him, then raised his two watery, outraged eyes up to the Heavens. “Lord, if there are no poor people, how will I know that I’m rich??”

[belcanta]

I laughed. This is perfect! Well said!

[doomhamster]

The thing is, while I’m sure you could scrape up a few people who’d be willing to just float by on a guaranteed minimum income? For most people the choice to work would be a no-brainer. “Hmmm. I can get by on 33k a year, or I can take that part time job and make 48k… enough to move to a better apartment, maybe take the family on vacation. Sold.” Hell, most people would want to work simply because it gives one a sense of dignity and something to do with one’s time. (Speaking as someone who’s been unemployed, on extended sick leave, etc. in her time, the boredom and sense of isolation that comes with not having a job is almost as bad as the humiliation of having to depend on other people for one’s survival.)

And with this system, part-time jobs and “non-skilled” jobs would be much more readily available because nobody would need to work two or three jobs just to stay afloat!

Which would ALSO mean that employers and customers couldn’t shamelessly exploit employees the way they can today, because if losing a job weren’t necessarily a financial disaster, more people would be willing to walk out on jobs where they weren’t being treated with dignity.

And if this also applies to students (and it should) then student loans would become much less of a problem, and fewer people would flunk out of school because of having to juggle studies and work.

Far fewer people would be forced to stay with abusive partners, parents or roommates because they couldn’t afford to move out.

And the thing is, all those people who suddenly had money? They’d be spending it. They’d be getting all the stuff they can’t afford now - new clothes, books, toys, locally-produced food, car repairs - and with each purchase money would flow BACK to the government, because VAT, also income tax.

The unemployed and/or disabled wouldn’t need special support any more - which would also mean the government could fire however many admins who are currently engaged in humiliating - *cough* making sure those people aren’t getting money they don’t deserve. Same for medical benefits and pensions. And I’m no legal scholar, but I somehow imagine less financial desperation would lead to less petty crime, and hence less need for police and security everywhere?

TL;DR Doomie thinks this is a good idea, laughs at those who protest.

[cptprocrastination]

reblogging for more top commentary

[queen-mayhem]

They tried something like this out in Canada as a sort of social experiment, called Mincome. What they found was that, on the whole, people continued to work about as much as they did before. Only new mothers and teenagers worked substantially less hours. 

But wait, there’s more. Because parents were spending just a little more time at home and involved with their families, test scores increased. Because teens didn’t have to work to support their families, drop-out rates decreased. Crime rates, hospital visits, psychiatric hospitalizations and domestic abuse rates all dropped, as well. More adults pursued higher education. Those who continued to work reported more job flexibility and more opportunity to choose employment they preferred.

Basically, now you can go prove to your asshole family members that society won’t collapse without poor people for you to feel better than.

[tank-grrl-deactivated20150725]

The picture is awesome, but read the commentary, that’s what I’m reblogging for.

[rudibranch]

This is wonderful commentary and I really really hope that we can have something like this in the US

[rudibranch]

I’m reblogging this TWICE because I love it that much

[thebicker]

A couple things worth noting:

The "mincome" experiment didn’t run in all of Canada — just in one town. It was in the late 1970s, but the results weren’t analyzed and published until just a few years ago. Here’s an interview with the researcher who analyzed the outcome. TL;DR version: It went really well. But the experiment only lasted five years and has never been repeated anywhere else.

The idea of a guaranteed minimum income has gained popularity with a surprising group: Libertarians. The government would theoretically abolish Social Security, welfare, food stamp programs, disability, and other social programs and replace it with “here is the amount of money everyone gets no matter what.” It would drastically reduce the size of government, which gets those Ron Paul folks on board. And it would eliminate poverty (assuming the minimum income was at or above the poverty line), which gets us bleeding-heart types on board. Obviously, opponents include big banks (who make money processing food stamps, among other things) and every person who considers poverty a moral failing (the wealthy, the entire Republican party, that one uncle everyone has who you dread getting seated next to at Thanksgiving). Also, some elderly people, since a minimum guaranteed income might be lower than their current Social Security benefits.

I think, if nothing else, it’s worth a try. However, given the political climate, “let’s give free money to everyone!” is not a home run as far as potential legislation goes.

[chopmermaid]

Wow. We could literally SOLVE POVERTY. 

[kingdomofodd-blog]

Certainly some food for thought. Thanks for sharing and I'll be checking out that link to the specific study.

[proteinandtreadmills]

It never has.

[year-0f-the-kyle]

This is a concept most of tumblr can’t wrap their head around.

[spirituallyrecovering-deactivat]

i’ll reblog this every single time i see it

[retardablefoxes-blog-blog]

We all should. Let’s make this thing go viral. 

[unrepentantwarriorpriest]

Signal Boost.

[kingdomofodd-blog]

American Splendor: Another Day by Harvey Pekar ****

I didn't know anything about this collection going in. As a huge fan of the movie and his longer work Our Cancer Year, I was very excited to read the short stories that Pekar is mostly known for. And I was certainly not left disappointed!

Harvey Pekar was a skilled craftsman, imbuing even the most menial stories with character, humor and emotion. His characters are real and relatable, bringing the everyday human to a place of importance rarely seen. I will definitely searching out more of his work in the future. I might even get over my cheapskate ways and buy some.    

[kingdomofodd-blog]

August Wrap-up

So, I was both more successful and less successful at my reading goals for August then I would have liked.

I was more successful because I did read quite a few books that were not on my list, including Preacher: Until The Ends of the Earth, An Elegy for Amelia Johnson, The Ocean At the End of the Lane, and The Princess and Curdie (review pending).

I was less successful because I still have one act of King Henry IV to finish, I only got through the first half of Crime and Punishment before I had to give my poor head a rest and I completely forgot I was trying to finish Don Quixote this month.

I did finish Madame Bovary (review pending) and The Princess and the Goblin.

[kingdomofodd-blog]

The Ocean At The End Of The Lane

The Ocean At The End Of The Lane ***

Unfortunately this book reminded me too much of Coraline for me to really enjoy it, although I would venture to say this one is the better of the two. It had a bit more of a grown up feel to it and I liked how the fantastical elements related more closely to traditional myths. I also liked how Gaimen and the main character are almost the same person, but not quite. Overall a good respite from the other book I am currently reading, Crime and Punishment, and an interesting book to compare to another recent read The Princess and the Goblin.

[kingdomofodd-blog]

September TBR

September TBR

Play: Oresteia

1001: The Island of Dr Moreau and The Pit and the Pendulum

Favorite Author: 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea

[kingdomofodd-blog]

An Elegy for Amelia Johnson

An Elegy for Amelia Johnson **

Pretty typical art style for the genre of indie biographical (esque) graphic novels. The themes the story deals with are really interesting and there are certainly a lot of interesting moments. Unfortunately the story feels a bit choppy at times and the story overall is kind of clunky. The characters are not extremely likable. I can see how the creators were trying to make the characters well rounded and developed, but they unfortunately miss the mark.

[kingdomofodd-blog]

Preacher: Until The End Of The Earth

Preacher Volume 2: Until The End of the World ***

So I finally got around to reading this much hyped series and I have to say it wasn't quite as offensive as I was expecting. On the one hand there is violence, lots of blood and torture, not to mention the crazy religious fanatics – none of which are things I particularly enjoy. On the other hand the relationship between Tulip and Jessi is made all the sweeter by the fact that it is surrounded by so much pain, the book was well written, and the supernatural element seems to be going in an interesting direction.

I think I'll probably pick up the next couple of volumes to see how things develop.

[kingdomofodd-blog]

ok, more silly then pretty, but I thought the texture and prospective rendered it kind of cool. Still stuck in the oh so boring rut of taking pictures of every flower I see. I'll need it to get me through the long dark cold winter. Spring porn, oh yeah.