Hi, It's your non-binary friend!

Please be nice to me. I cry easily.

[a-book-of-creatures]

On the other hand you can’t prove that this little ceramic pig won’t cure all that ails me

[thecraftgremlin]

We need to embrace the fact that the tumblr userbase is aging. What’s everybody’s favorite kitchen appliance?

[greelin]

get out. And take your sad weird bisexual man with you

[cybelusreverie]

staying with my father and my teenage brother occasionally has been very enlightening actually i need to think about it positively

[cybelusreverie]

hmmm ok. fascinating. okay. amazing. and i have to live like this? okay

[space-party]

[kiragecko]

[Image shows the corner of a tub. It hasn't been cleaned in a while. Instead of soap or shampoo, there's a bottle of dish soap and a scouring pad that HOPEFULLY has a sponge on the underside.

Next image shows the tags, "#are your family Plates or perhaps Pots And Pans"?

End ID.]

[trix-or-treatz]

Miss Piggy's response to misogyny and fatphobia is physical violence and I think we should all take something from that

[rikacreature]

when u have the correct number of cinderblocks in ur enclosure

[jame7t]

one CREEPY spider just earned the KISS of a lifetime- turning her back into her original princess form! (larger spider

[sud-e-magia]

)

[jame7t]

Thanks I lost mine

[breastmaster64]

i lost something once

[jame7t]

im so sorry

[unstablecryptid]

It's almost that time of year fellas

[prideofyunmeng]

Fuck that I'm taking all those rangoons

[mlarayoukai-archive]

EVERY GAME needs to have a house that's decoratable. Fishing mini game. Pets. 100s of pieces of clothing. Cooking

[drcuriousvii]

penis sidequest

[mlarayoukai-archive]

penis sidequest

[captainjonnitkessler]

Super fucked up that I can’t be a master-level expert in knitting AND woodworking AND silversmithing AND embroidery AND soap making AND spinning AND -

[captainjonnitkessler]

“Who would ever want to be immortal? Can you imagine the loneliness, knowing that there’s no one else like you, cursed to outlive -” shut up!! Some of us have shit to do and aren’t cowards!!

[whynotfabulous]

In an effort to avoid supporting megacorporations, I shall now be posing questions directly to tumblr that I would otherwise have googled.

[whynotfabulous]

If Mayonnaise is just eggs and oil, why it creamy?

[gnomer-denois]

Because it's also evil

[whynotfabulous]

Thanks!

Have scientists figured out what dark matter is yet?

[you-can-be-what-you-want-to-be]

Yup! It’s anything that takes up space, has mass, and is goth.

[whynotfabulous]

Wow!

What happens if you eat 23 packages of peeps?

[trashboi413]

You meet god

[whynotfabulous]

Thank goodness!

What's the correct way to eat a banana?

[treslecheslife]

Whole, in one gulp.

[whynotfabulous]

Delicious!

Who is the Muffin Man?

[captain-oh-no-not-again]

Father of the Muffin Boy

[whynotfabulous]

Makes sense!

Why is my car making a ker-klunk noise?

[mayflydecember]

Car's haunted

[whynotfabulous]

Uh Oh

How to fix a haunted car?

[babybluebanshee]

Slam into a priest in a crosswalk going at least forty miles an hour

[whynotfabulous]

It worked!

Where does the wax in scented candles go?

[thegoodsandy]

into the sky, where it turns into stars

[whynotfabulous]

Cool!

Why are weddings so damn expensive?

[daeynore]

priest has to pay for medical bills related to haunted car crashing into him

[whynotfabulous]

....Ah

[boarofthenorth100]

 I Have Taken A New Form

[boarofthenorth100]

A Metamorphosis Has Occurred And I Am Naught The Pig You Once Gnew

The Shape Of Me Hath Been Blurred And If You Like, I Will Now Show You

[boarofthenorth100]

BEHOLD MY DIVINE CONFIGURATION

BOARCUBE

[sexhaver]

i love crossing the street in front of cars where i can see the driver is visibly annoyed because like. are you mad at me? am i making you mad? are you upset? are you gonna kill me about it? gonna vehicular manslaughter me? gonna split my head open like a watermelon with that big strong manly truck? are you mad at me?

[icexprincess]

I will hit you with my car.

Then I'll stop, get out and offer to take you to the hospital, visibly upset.

It's just an act of course. I'm not actually upset lol.

Then I'll take you home and dispose of your stupid ugly fucking body and no one will ever fucking find you.

Do not fucking test me.

I am not a good person lol

(Yes the police will question me when you're reported missing, but they won't have enough evidence to build a case against me, and without a body, it can't be considered murder. You'll always be considered a missing person)

[sexhaver]

are you mad at me?

[sexhaver]

this post is doing numbers in the second-degree murder fandom

[paperbackpeony]

A plate for u a plate for me

[monsterlogic]

New outfit idea

[lightningman17]

[sugoichappy]

Yours is the only funny and correct addition to this post

[greysfields]

to all the queer kids who have parents who aren't openly homophobic but still not Nice about their queerness. Its okay to feel mad about it. Just because you're in a physically safe place doesn't mean that it can't be frustrating and heartbreaking to not be accepted. to feel like you have to shove yourself into a box to be loved. your feelings are valid. you deserve all the proud acceptance in the world

[brainless-moe-white-lotus]

Come and See Him

[rednines]

This is like a dream you wake up from in terror but when you try to explain it to someone they don’t understand the escalation of pure evil you experienced and why you’re so shaken up by it