So the actual Goddamn Point I’m getting at
Stolitz has self destructive patterns. Very hurtful ones.
And that is what accidentally kicks off both of their redemption arcs.
Because neither of them was ever gonna address these individual self destructive behaviours alone.
But when they see how badly they’ve hurt each other, they start to.
Stolas is first to reflect that his behaviour is hurtful to Blitz. The transactional relationship could never have made them both happy long term.
But there’s still a lot more stuff that’s wrong with his life that Stolas isn't trying to fight against or fix. He makes no moves to catch Stella for trying to kill him, defend himself from future threats, or even to get Via on his side.
Towards Blitz he sees that he’s being a jerk, but he’s not addressing the full scope of his own issues. He wants to not be alone (which is one part of the battle) but he still has so little self worth that he thinks fighting for himself against these threats is more trouble than he’s worth.
That Blitz’s love would be a bandaid that could fix his mental health issues.
That telling Via about his problems was a burden to her and therefore unfair to tell her about it.
BLITZ is actually the first one to allow his self destruction to make him realize-
HE’S the problem in his life.
Blitz hurts Stolas, and hates himself for it, and makes the choice to walk away because Stolas deserves to be with someone who isn’t a victim of his own self hatred that spills out and burns anyone around him.
Because he was both a HUGE GAPING ASSHOLE to Stolas & he knows he’s not different yet.
Even if he wants to be down the road.
He has no idea how to change, so it is the healthy thing to leave Stolas alone.
And it all goes back to a sad new normal.
Until Andrealphus' plots, and Blitz get caught.
And then the trial swings around and Stolas self-destructs on live TV for all of hell to witness.
Blitz would be the first person to tell anyone that this is his fault and he’s got no excuse for it. There is an explanation for his behaviour, but there is not a defence.
This is not the behaviour of a fixed Blitz.
ALL of those issues that fucked him up and broke Stolas’ heart are definitely still there. The self-hatred that justifies pushing people away? Just underneath the surface.
But this is a first attempt at being a better demon. A first attempt at knowing what his reflex is and swimming against that current. He tries to be nice because that’s his first guess at what healthy looks like.
But because of Stolas he now recognizes he has to grow. That it’s not just consequences that’ll blow back on him if he tries to ignore it.
Stolas is at the starting line of this as well.
Stolas doesn’t recognize that he has… choices.
He freezes up just picking what kind of wine.
And when he’s presented them he doesn’t know what to do with them. So when Via confronts him he’s startled at the thought it was a choice.
It was just an unfair choice.
Make no mistake, he was set up to fail.
It’s only after the trial and his moment with Via that he starts to see the full depth of what making a real choice actually is,
I am a big Stolas fan. I identify so much with him, but it’s not fair to try to care about someone without letting myself see their flaws.
And Stolas, who has only just started to see choices doesn’t conceive that he can think ahead and choose what his own future looks like.
He could’ve tried to plot against Andrealphus, kept an eye on him for whatever his next move was and neutralize the threat. I doubt he even considered it. He could’ve had the horrible talk with Via about the real reason he wanted to divorce Stella.
He tried and failed with Via, and he couldn’t fathom that he could win against Andrealphus.
He did ask for the divorce from Stella.
He has started to grow. But even this was a response to Stella trying to provoke him.
He only makes choices in response to other peoples choices. He is a bystander in his own life and because 3/5 of the members of his family are self-serving monsters he’s been put through a shredder for funsies.
Wanting to change self destructive behavioural patterns, and actually changing those patterns are worlds apart from each other. They’re both at the start of an uphill battle.
Here’s the part that gives me hope.
Blitz brings him into IMP.
Stolas’ self destruction depends on what the people around him want from him.
So what if all the group wants from him is for him to pick himself back up, to be happy with who he chose, and get his shit together?
This, could be the first time since Blitz where people in his orbit ask themselves what Stolas wants. And maybe the first time period a group asks what’s best for Stolas?
Are they shrinks? No. Do they have their own problems? Fuck Yes. But at this stage in the game they are very well versed in managing Blitz’s dysfunction.
Blitz is not fixed, Stolas is co-dependent.
Neither are done growing.
There will be drama in their very immediate future. This will test Blitz’ commitment to trust his partner, and will test Stolas’s nerve to take ownership of his life.
Because now Stolas is in the disadvantaged position.
Despite this, he is not alone.
As fucked up as they both are, that’s still progress.
Stolas responds to the people around him. Tries to be what they need but since he’s with IMP right now-
For the first time he has a community that can/will be kind back.
And I suspect someone else will offer their support as well.
Ok. That's the full point.
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