[cakevaljean]

makes me laugh every single time

[nightvaleofficial]

New Episode: Don't Tell Alice, Part 1, Chapter 8: Three Leads

Once upon a time, I was part of a movement called Praxis.

Listen here: https://www.nightvalepresents.com/aliceisntdead

[sufjansjoy]

does anybody know how to get out of bed. or be a better person

[sufjansjoy]

wow

[skin-slave]

Exclamation marks, but instead of a huge line of them, we do like Roman numerals of them.

You know. To save space.

[lastvalyrian]

Me doing 490 exclamation marks: XD

[hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard]

PRIDE HAZARD BUTTONS ARE NOW AVAILABLE!

Only $2.50 each!

Buy assorted 2.25” buttons here!

Buy 1.5” rainbow rad buttons here!

As usual, enamel pins, stickers, and other pinback buttons are still in stock! View my whole shop here

I’m working on getting the explosive pride stickers back in stock— you can see what I have left of them at the moment here

If you want that one test nonbinary pin (the one with the car flying off the cliff) send a message in your order of a NB pin letting me know. I can’t guarantee that you’ll get it (I only have one and it’s first-come-first-serve), so make sure you’re also alright with getting the updated design!

[hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard]

that’s actually crazy

[korunak]

christ in the wilderness, ivan kramskoy

[thatbitchsimone]

he looks like he needs a cigarette

[refuzz]

[hunter-rodrigez]

[ehszter]

school uniform time ehehe

[kaity--did]

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

[kaity--did]

Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

Husband: RIVETING!

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️

Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!

[kaity--did]

Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.

[kaity--did]

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays

Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.

????

[kaity--did]

Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave

Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!

[kaity--did]

FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering

[justplainsalty]

I have follow up questions:

1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?

1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?

[kaity--did]

I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.

Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂

So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂

[kaity--did]

Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.

Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she

1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night

2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day

3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together

I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times

[mentalhealthnut]

1) My dad was also like this with me. Best example - reading a manual for a washing machine to me as an infant. Didn't turn into a Deals Warlock, but I did become a writer, so make of that what you will.

2) If you are the type of person who counts how many questions your child asks you in a day, and didn't give up after like ten of 'em, *and* potentially did so more than once (you said she "averages" at 892, meaning you might have gotten your data from at least two days)... then I think she is Like That because of both sides of her family, actually

[kaity--did]

[blignick]

[bunjywunjy]

this is actually HILARIOUS because both domestic rabbits and domestic cats practice dominance-related social grooming but for wildly different reasons.

if you're a rabbit, the boss rabbit is the one who gets groomed by its subordinate rabbits.

but if you're a cat... the boss cat is the one that grooms the other cats.

BOTH these idiots are going "aw yeah, it's good to be on top >:) "

[lemonsweet]

The other day my nephew described something as being "like if Slenderman was stuck in a little car" and I yelled YES!!!! bc I thought he was referencing this image I like but then I showed the picture and he was like how do you have an image for that where did you get that

[giaaeron]

Added sound effects to this AMAZING animation by https://www.instagram.com/xabier.u/ with their permission… and I had a lot of fun doing it!

[queer-as-city-folk]

Evil musician named Britney Fears

[queer-as-city-folk]

Gay musician named Britney Queers

[thattransgirllora]

fellow musician named britney peers

[queer-as-city-folk]

Drunk musician named Britney Beers

[fable-and-thread]

Audience musician named Britney Cheers

[queer-as-city-folk]

Therapist musician named Britney Hears

[queer-as-city-folk]

Skyscraper musician named Britney Sears

[chriscrossedover]

Wildlife Musician named Britney Deers

[queer-as-city-folk]

Round Musician named Britney Spheres

[siltslut]

Car musician named Britney Steers

[uncannyandi]

Formerly invisible musician named Britney Appears

[highcaliberhound]

Rapidly approaching musician named Britney Nears

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[lasalebete]

have you read tiger tiger. do you read tiger tiger. when will you read tiger tiger

[writing-prompt-s]

You look around the lecture hall and notice all the other students have fallen asleep. You look towards the lecturer, who has now stopped talking and is staring straight at you. “I don’t know how you’re still awake, but I guess we do this the hard way.” He says before pulling out a sword.

[rohirric-hunter]

@sindar-princeling​ you can’t leave this gold in the tags

[everydaylouie]

the beautiful game...

[human-pet-they]

DUDE GRINDR IS AWESOME