summary: megumi x chubby fem! reader, this is fully self indulgent b/c as a chubby girl iâve been feeling like shit about myself, megumi just being the gentleman he is
warnings: bad self image, kinda talk of ed and bad family life, suggestiveâŠ.stuff
you were never good at feelings, neither is megumi. thatâs what happens when you come from shitty home lives. but you knew one thingâmegumi fushiguro is your best friend and you have feelings for him. feelings you cannot express without wanting to throw up or run away or curse at your parents for never showing you proper love.
plus, youâre not built like everyone else in your friend group. youâre painfully aware of this, so, megumi has to be as well.
he always says he doesnât have a type, just an unshakable personalityânothing else matters to him. you refuse to believe that. giving yourself another excuse to hide your growing feelings for the brooding boy.
ây/n,â maki says, nudging you from your self deprecating daydream. âhm?â you hum, tugging the hem of your uniformâs skirt further down. âi asked if you wanna get food with nobara and i. get your head out of your ass,â maki lightly smacks you upside the head. a hiss falls from your mouth at the dramatic pain, your face twisting in annoyance. âmegumi and yuuji are coming too. but more importantly,â maki leans in with a teasing smirk, âmegumi is. the fact that you like that nimrodââ
âmakiâno,â you cut her off quickly. she and nobara are the only people youâve told directly that you like megumi. you can only assume that the others know because itâs not like youâre going at hiding it. blushing at every small thing he does for you. every small he gives you and not the others makes your heart sore. the way he remembers everything about you and has to ask maki, his own family member, when her birthday is. all basic things but things you never got as a kid.
the trio makes their way across the field and towards you guys. your hands clam up. you last saw megumi at breakfast where he insisted you eat more cereal, that thereâd be a lot of training done today and youâd need the nutrients. he wasnât wrong but you still felt guilty. âwhereâs panda and inumaki?â you ask, leaning to the side as you two stand up. maki smirks, âtraining, i assume. there the slowpokes are!â she announces as they get closer. âhey! iâm not a slowpoke!â yuuji groans as they approach.
âi am. iâm too tired. ugh,â nobara says, resting a dramatic hand against her forehead. megumiâs focus stays on you. his blue eyes are lit up unbeknownst to the both of you in a way that only light up when youâre in his sights. thereâs a bit a sweat sheen across your forehead from training so hard and from the japan heat radiating off your skin. âyou okay, y/n?â megumi asks with only a softness you receive. you raise an eyebrow, âyes, iâm a-okay.â
nobara huffs, âthatâs great. iâm hungry. letâs go!â
you shouldâve known this was gonna happen. you shouldâve known when you woke up and saw what you didnât like in the mirror. you ate near to nothing at lunch and here you areâforced into megumiâs dorm because your best friend knows when something is wrong with you. he knows when your world is about to combust and take you with it.
heâs currently on the corner of his bed, you on the other, refusing to meet his concerned blue hued eyes.
ây/nâŠâŠsomething is up. and donât say thereâs not because we both knowââ
ââthat you know when something is wrong. yeah, yeah,â you huff, finally meeting his eyes. his face softens at your annoyance. you just wanna lay down and cover yourself until some bout of confidence comes over you and you can wear clothes without wanting to throw up. megumi inhales sharply, eyes shifting away from yours as he takes the chance and scoots closer to you.
âbad day?â megumi asks so low that if his room wasnât so peaceful you wouldnât be able to hear it. your gaze focuses on the carpet. âin what sense?â you question. megumi blinks, moving closer and closer until his thigh knocks into yours. shamelessly, his gaze wraps around you. the way your thighs sit on his bed, staring at the way your thigh high socks have your skin spilling from them. itâs sexy. youâre sexy. megumi hates me crude, he does but how you donât find yourself sexy will always baffle him. of course heâs been attracted to other people but youâyou are just everything he wants and needs.
âyour brain,â he answers, forcing himself to lock onto your face again. he doesnât regret it though. butâhis heart sinks at the tears brimming your eyes. the ones that dare to stain your beautiful, chubby cheeks heâd love to lay kisses on. you snort sarcastically, âhowâd you guess that one?â you sniffle. he furrows his brow, leaning back on his elbows. you turn to face him and for once you notice the way his eyes trail down your frame. you freak out. he sees it too. he finally sees it and you know it. how disgusting you are. how youâll never be a good sorcerer because of the body you were burdened with. just like your parents said.
you wish in that moment your technique let you become as small as an ant so you could slip out of this room and never come back.
your feet hit the ground, âiâm gonna goââ
ây/nââ
âmeg, i donât wanna hear this. whatever bullshit, okay? i justâi wanna cry and be notâme,â you admit with a choked sob. megumi shoots up from his spot on the bed, handâs subconsciously reaching out for you. your body winces, expecting somethingâanything except the soft touch that he holds your wrists with. âdonât wanna hear what, y/n? i just wanna help you. iâm notâiâm not the best with it and iâm sorry but i care about you,â he gulps, âa lot.â megumi shudders as he becomes vulnerable in front of his best friend. the same best friend he imagines kissing till neither one of them can breath, the same best friend he imagines losing it all to in her bed or his. the same best friend he wants to spend the rest of his life with, no matter how short or long.
âyou canâtâhelp me, meg. no matter what i do iâll be stuck here, in this mindsetâme and you both know iâm grossââ
âwhat the hell are you on about?â megumi remarks offendedly, âgross? what are you saying?â you pout, the words of self deprecation circle your head but your mouth falls into an âoâ, none of them able to fall from your mouth. it clicks for him. you think your body is gross. thatâs never a way heâs heard you describe yourself. it strikes him with such a force that he might be more offended than you have ever been. he releases your wrist and you brace for impact. the agreement of your insult.
the face he adores so much refuses to look at him, only at the floor of his dorm. ây/n,â he says your name as if it might harm him. not that youâll ever hurt him, but that the solemn look across your face might and once you look upâit strikes him in the heart like a bomb.
youâve been silently crying while you stared at the floor. your brain feels like static and youâre surprised you even heard the call of your name with the war in your head. itâs shouting horrible things, your own brain is trying to kill you and sometimes it might be easier to let it but megumi wonât let you. no. for the first time in a while megumi has more than two people he cares about. people he feels responsible for. people he just wants to see happy and god, is your smile the one he always wants to see lit up, eyes crinkled in the corner from how ecstatic you are.
eyeliner from your makeup has fallen down your cheeks. mascara is basically gone along with the slight shine from your usual lip gloss. the things you put on everyday in hopes itâll make you feel better about yourself. some days it does, some days it really does but other days you canât even look at yourself in the mirror without feeling like a pig with lipstick on.
megumi exhales sharply, swallowing at the sight of your tear stained, puffy lipped face. his hands are still around your wrist but one letâs go, carefully reaching out for your face, giving you ample time to rush away from him. butâyou donât. his large hand cups your right cheek and you lean into the touch. the silence rips apart. your sobs fill his dorm room, body weak as you feel yourself give up. megumi, who isnât good with feelings, knows he has to hold you. so, he encases you in his frame, a hand holding your head to his chest. he tries to remember what his mother or sister would do the rare times he got upset like this.
âiâm tired of it, megumi,â you cry into the dark cloth of his t-shirt. itâs your favorite shirt on him and youâre ruining it. you ruin things. just like if you tell your best friend your harboring feelings. his hand rubs your back and you wince as if he has hurt you when it ghosts past a roll that you despise. âtired of what, honâ,â he cuts the pet name off, settling for a bite of his tongue instead. only you would let such a sappy thing fall from his mouth.
you donât hear it over how quiet it was with your sobs. you force yourself to leave his hold, already feeling cold and you wipe your tears, staring at the makeup that now coats your fingers.
âfeeling like iâll never belong. iâll never beâgirl enough because of how i look. never prettyââ
âyouâre gorgeous,â megumi says so quickly that he himself doesnât expect the confession. the worlds fall down his throat with a gulp, echoing through his head as he watches your eyes widen. your fists clench and unclench, the cycle repeats until it feels like youâre back on earth and not dreaming that those words just fell from his mouth. he takes a step closer, ây/n?â
âyeah?â you say, tearful eyes flashing down his frame. your cheeks are hot as a blush works itâs way up from your throat to them. megumi scratchesïżŒ the back of his neck, for once wishing he listened to nobara or yuujiâs more than likely horrible love advice. itâs better than the blank brain he has right now. no, he canât be that desperate.
your bit of confidence dies down when he doesnât say anything, just stares at you with a loss for words. âmegumi, you donât have to say anything to make me feelâbetter. iâm just expressing myâfeelings. something weâre both not good at,â you comment with a nervous chuckle and another wipe of the tears that donât seem to stop. the gears are turning internally, splitting megumi open as all the things heâs been wanting to say for months pile up in his tongue.
it physically hurts him and he curses his father wherever he is at for leaving him, causing his feelings to pain him physically.
âyouâreâpretty, y/n,â megumi admits once again with a hiccup to his throat. flustered, you look anywhere but the dark haired boy. at his polaroids attached to the wall, at his books stacked on his desk. even the teddy bear you got him at one of the local fairs a couple months ago. it sits perfectly up right on his desk, right next to all his study material. something to remind him of you as he gets his school work done. your heart swells at the thought while the other half fights to beat you down again.
in a split second, his hands have dipped your face again. heâs admiring you. all the things you hate, heâll love ten times harder. youâre gravitated to look into his eyes and when you do, your heart skips a solid two beats. itâs a look youâve never seen in him before. or maybe never noticed.
love. lust. admiration. just a simple twinkle youâve never seen in anyone else before.
your eyes match his, making his stomach twists as butterflies flutter from their cocoons. he can feel your skin heat up under his pale hands and he finally learns of the affect he has on you.
the tension isâintense. youâve never been here. neither of you know what to do next. but, your lips are twitching as your gaze lands on his lips. so, you follow your heart.
your lips lock onto megumi fushiguroâs and with no hesitation, heâs pulling you in deeper. his hands find your neck, yours tug at his hair until somehow, someway you get turned around and your calves hit his bed. you whimper, pulling away breathlessly. youâre both panting but smiling. big smiles that radiate love and need. you both finally got the thing youâve been yearning for since youâve seen the other.
the break doesnât last long because megumi canât take the separation. his lips attach to yours more feverishly this time. carefully, he rests you against the bed. you disconnect for a moment, only to crawl up to his headboard with him hovering above you. his black shirt falls a bit, letting you peek under it to see his toned body. you ball the collar in your hand with a new found confidence. moans and whimpers fill the room from two inexperienced and needy people.
after what feels like a blissful forever, you pull away. his lips are swollen, coated in your mixed saliva. his hair is messy with a goofy look across your face. âfuck,â you say between pants. his elbows land on either side of your body, caging you against his bed. heâs bright pink. âyou believe me now?â megumi asks, sight falling to your neck and then your pushed up breasts because anywhere is better than your eyes right now.
butâthe gentleman side of him wins and he shifts from your rapid moving chest to your face. âbelieve what?â you question and for a second he thinks youâre joking. his face falls for a second, head nearly falling with it to the comfort of your stomach. he chuckles, âthat youâre pretty, idiot,â megumi sheepishly says.
you swallow and megumi can feel your nervous breaths beneath him. âiâuh, might need a few more to justâprove it,â you tease, hands sliding around his neck once more. megumi smirks, clicking his tongue, âyeah? i think i can do that.â
âgood,â you say lowly, leaning closer to him, full thighs wrapping around his torso. megumi licks his lips, âgood,â he matches you tone, falling forward to land another never ending kiss on your lips.










