two steps on the water

🇵🇷🧁🤷🏻‍♀️

[midnightssea]

it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back

[quendergeer]

you'd think occasionally men would need to touch other men like this to manoeuvre them out of the way but it never happens

[gaybichon]

i think i found my new favorite artist on twitter

(source)

[gaybichon]

👆 me

[freegiftjones]

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

[chicknparm]

[pipshinwhatever]

ohhhhhhhhhh it's a metaphor

[pipshinwhatever]

but for what

[ichorknight]

driving my chevy to the levee today

[ichorknight]

what the fuck

[opanchu]

[wolgerrswraith-deactivated20250]

Meanwhile, on the boxed set of Twin Peaks I paid $49.99 for with the worst captioning I've seen in my life

[viralfrog]

[cryinglawstudent]

God forbid you ask a pharmacy to fill a prescription

[memeuplift]

[mossspores]

life if comes fucks me

[guiltfactory]

your boyfriend isn't thematically significant

[crazymuffin1]

how id survive horror movies:

iron lung: im vaccinated against polio so i dont need one

it: my pronouns are she/they

sinners: im an atheist

the backrooms: my house doesnt have that many rooms

Resident evil: id evict them

Midsommar: im swedish.

Get out: ok i'll leave

x: im still calling it twitter

american psycho: i live in sweden

[rylandgraces]

[the most low energy you have ever seen me] we’re about to go crazy mode

[lumsel]

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

[unusual-pybro]

[m1dori-eyes]

Nobody has ever been capable of writing a scathingly harsh and well formulated satire about the perils of modern capitalism, that doesn't just get immediately one-upped by some random food service worker talking about their actual week.

[shadow-von-vamp]

reblogging a post that says “do it scared” vs actually doing it scared

[tractorgoth]

[navigatorsnorth]

Phenomenal spare wheel cover I walked past the other day

[dogpuppy]