...

So we’re still on the hellsite

[lavenderprose]

Things that are ACTUALLY in the Shane Hollander Mic'd Up compilation that we all wish we could watch through the portal:

- "Hey, how was your summer? Good, good."

- "Mic'd up. I'm mic'd up. Don't."

- "Have you ever been to Greece? Told Ilya I would ask you."

- "What? No, man, he didn't say that. He said he was gonna get your ass. Yeah, man, he only fucks one ass. Yeah, I mean, I would say fuck you too but--"

- "Heeeey, davai, davai. Great assist. Hah, no, don't come closer, I'm mic'd and you know I don't trust you."

- "The Royal Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play. The Royal Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play. The Royal--"

- "HEY MATHESON. You ever been to Vegas? I said, you ever been to VEGAS? I hear they let the good hockey players go there in the summer but I feel like you wouldn't know that."

- "FUCK. Hey, ref, what the fuck was that? Oh, you didn't see that? Fuck you. No, you stay there, my husband's gonna talk to you--fuck you, put me in the bin then, this is bullshit--"

- "You have the smelling salts? Yeah. FUCK--"

- "I am mic'd. Remember I am mic'd. Nope, not even in Russian."

- "Oh, yeah, the pickle video was funny. Harris said it got a lot of views, so. Yeah, no, he actually really does love pickles that much."

- "Sinclair, you got something to say? Yeah, I'm better at hide the pickle than you are at hockey. You want to ask another stupid question?"

- "You know, I run a charity too. Oh, I just assumed that you were doing some kind of Make-A-Wish thing out here with your wingers, since it looks like this is your first day on the ice."

- "Oh, hey, look. Jackie and the kids are waving at us. Okay. Okay, Rozanov, that's enough."

- "Mic'd. Mic'd. Mic'd."

- "Hello Hockey Night, welcome to my husband's shoulder pads--" "Fuck OFF, Rozanov."

- "Great goal. Great goal. Lyublyu tebya. Yes, baby, you did that."

[isotridecanol]

[sreppub]

remember when i asked for cass prompts like months ago and then i didn’t do them 🤗 coming back around to that hehe

[100493503004422]

I've gone fifteen years on this website without absorbing any information about homestuck and I'm not about to start now

[nyxfaei]

Imagine a fluffy unicorn that’s bred for its wool like a sheep- once or twice a year it has to get shorn and the shearer just has to awkwardly flop and position the unicorn around without getting stabbed. Perhaps they cover the horn with a protective pool noodle

[nyxfaei]

Do you see my vision???

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

hobbyist groups are always like “get out of the greater midwest native cecropia moth raise and release restoration community if you can’t take the heat!!!”

[doing-90mph-in-central-london]

he's going through a hair dye phase (sleeping in a berry patch)

[doing-90mph-in-central-london]

feels like some of u aren't properly appreciating the fact that he sleeps in a berry patch. and he rolls over and squishes the berries into his fur. because he's so sleepy and content.

[doing-90mph-in-central-london]

maybe people think he's an ugly dog but just to be clear he is actually a beautiful pig

[crossroadsbishounen]

[bobdylanyaoi]

doing petplay and gunplay at the same time im a horse with a broken leg and you have to just shoot me

[fuckrozanov]

i do think shane would get off on going to the club with ilya and watching girls throw themselves at him all night and all shane has to do to make ilya get up from the table mid-conversation with some beautiful girl in a low-cut shirt is shane his eyes and bite his bottom lip and they’re outta there. once they get home he rides ilya on the couch and keeps saying shit like she could never do this as good as me no one can take you like me i’ll kill anyone who tries and ilya is just like you are so fucking crazy baby i love you

[fuckrozanov]

i like shane crying over sex in all contexts i like when he cries because it feels so good and he’s never been this full in his life i like when he cries because it hurts a little and ilya is in his ear reassuring him that he can take it i like when he cries because of the impossibility of it all like he never thought he would have this and he didn’t even know what he was missing until he got it but he also cries because he’s not getting it enough and he cries when ilya is consoling him over the phone about it bc that’s all they have and ilya is like you need it so bad i know baby and sometimes he cries because he’s so greedy and he feels bad about it and ilya is like oh yes it’s such a burden for shane hollander to be gagging for my cock all the time i do not know how i survive and then he makes shane actually gag for it and shane cries about that too

[penandinkprincess]

laughing about the idea of shane and ilya getting so used to sleeping curled up together that they wake up if they drift apart

mainly because if it's ilya who wakes up first, he shifts over in bed to snuggle close to wherever shane has wriggled off to, curling back up around him and drifting off again, content

whereas if it's shane who wakes up, it's more *bleary, confused searching* *target sighted* *YANK across the mattress to slide ilya back into place next to him* *settles back down while sighing happily like an angel while ilya is still ?!?! about getting AGGRESSIVELY relocated*

[penandinkprincess]

i know that ilya's ass is SO dramatic about getting his goodbye kisses after he and shane are together

shane forgets because he's running late for a meeting one day and has to rush out of the door, and he then arrives at the studio for the photoshoot he has booked to see a text from ilya with three different headstone styles with "one of these, i think"

and is just "for?? what??"

"when i am dead from broken heart because my husband does not love me anymore and does not kiss me before i will not see him for twenty years"

"ilya, i will be home in like four hours"

*pictures of two different casket models* "i am thinking the darker wood one, but perhaps that is too nice for your taste now that you do not love me anymore. perhaps you will bury me in cardboard shoe box like sad, dead hamster."

[penandinkprincess]

ilya on this video call: *dismissive hand flick* hollander, this is not important. you are stealing my moment. back to what i was saying: red roses, i think, for the wake. i know they mean love and you do not love me anymore, but maybe you can just pretend for the sad people who come to mourn me so they do not turn on you for being the cause of my death-

[acidbathbunnies-moved]

this is the result of severe inbreeding. look at it it can't even breathe properly

[dogpuppy]

[emolgana]

incredible stuff happening out there

[elvis-official]

Find me. I'm like pages. You gotta find me. Woah mama

[i-merani]