Wants to be a writer *doesn't write for ages*

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[schofielded]

DB Cooper mystery solved: he survived and used the money to start the film website "IMDb" (I am DB)

[ch-charred]

Figured I should continue this, so here is

Reactions to Damian’s Prank: Part 1 - Bruce

Link to the original post here

So! Bruce is the first to notice one of Damian’s cardboard cutouts. It happens relatively quickly.

Bruce walks into his private bathroom.

There is a full-sized, six foot tall cardboard cutout of Jason standing in his shower. (It is still unclear how Damian managed to get a picture of Jason)

Bruce flinches.

The Batman flinches

Bruce dials Dick’s number.

Bruce: Richard John Grayson.

Dick: Oh shit, what did I do?

Bruce: The cardboard cutout? I thought there was an intruder in the house.

Dick, holding back laughter: I’m- Im sorry, the what?? That- *giggles* that wasn’t me, but I really wish it was.

Bruce: Fuck *hangs up*

Bruce doesn’t find out it was Damian until days later.

Barbara gets to see Damian giggle for the first time while watching the footage together.

[lazycrazyperson]

oh wow his first reaction was to accuse dick, love that

[jasperandhenryslovechild]

dick grayson is to bruce wayne as henry hart is to ray manchester. fight me

[lazycrazyperson]

and maybe just also a little bit of harvey and Mike i see

[batsandbirdbrains]

OK,last one for the night. Kinda going back to the villains wanting to adopt thing, but it's Klarion. And I think another ask mentioned Teekl liking Dick more.

So what if after the Team defeats the Light, Teekl stays with Dick instead of escaping with Klarion. Then when Batman gets back Dick has to explain that he adopted a murder cat.

Batman: What's that?

Dick: Your the one who never let me get a dog.

Now the cat follows Dick around EVERYWHERE he goes. While in civilian mode he's an emotional support pet, but when he's on patrol he just hangs out on Dick's shoulder like a parrot. I also imagine he wouldn't let anyone within a foot of Dick. Except Damian. Murder cat loves murder kid.

Every time Klarion tries to get him back the cat just growls and clings tighter into Dick.

omfg wait the dog conversation

"What the hell is that thing?"

"Well if you'd just GOTTEN ME A DOG WHEN I ASKED we wouldn't have gotten stuck with a demon cat! So really, it's your own fault!"

[lazycrazyperson]

wow I wish there was a fic about this

[batsandbirdbrains]

wait wait wait ok but now i’m imagining that when dick was spacing out during the meeting and ra’s was beating slade’s ass it went something like this:

Ra’s: You dare attempt to steal my grandson again?? You dare touch him?? You dare act as though he belongs to you???

Black Manta, from the background: He made the boy call him master too!!

Ra’s: YOU MADE HIM CALL YOU MASTER???

Like I feel like everybody was preying on Slade’s downfall so they just start piping up about shit they witnessed to make Ra’s even madder. Imagine Kaldur being like “He told me that he had to spend the nights at Slade’s house sometimes” because he’s sick of Slade’s creepy ass and is lowkey hoping that it will be the push that gets Ra’s to end Slade 💀.

meanwhile kaldur is hissing like "father. father why are we getting involved?"

"because i hate that man, kaldur'ahm. you'll understand one day when you're a father."

"i may as well already be one, i worry abt renegade like he's my own!"

"oh! well that might give us an in with the al Ghul's! this is excellent!"

[lazycrazyperson]

oh my god, the first ting I thought when I read the ask was, bella screaming at Jacob about renesmee in Twilight. Like imagine, ra's in rhis scenario is Bella, slade is Jacob and black manta is Edward just watching and standing by.

[batsandbirdbrains]

Omg sad de-aged Dick Grayson idea

He gets magically de-aged during patrol, and taken back to the Batcave. They figure out he’ll turn back to normal in a few days or so, but he’s otherwise 8 years old with no memory of anything after. He ends up staying in the manor while he’s de-aged.

First, he finds out his bedroom is no longer his. It belongs to another boy now. All his stuff is gone. He’s given a guest room instead.

He’s a quiet little thing the whole time. It weirds everyone out. They mostly avoid him because they don’t know how to deal with this smaller, quieter version of their brother.

Then a couple nights later, they find him sitting alone in the dining room. He’s in his usual seat, with his knees pulled up to his chest. He’s watching the doorway like a hawk, but his eyes are so sad.

When Jason asks why he’s lurking in the dining room, Dick pouts at him.

“Where’s Bruce?” is all he asks, his voice quiet.

“I dunno, off brooding somewhere else I guess.”

“Oh.”

It unnerves Jason, so he turns around and leaves.

Tim walks in and pretty much the same interaction occurs.

Damian finds him in the middle of the night, having fallen asleep slumped over in the dining chair. He’s a little sad, seeing his favorite brother in such a state, so he picks Dick up carefully to bring him back to the room he’s been staying in.

“B?” Dick mumbles, shifting in Damian’s arms.

“It’s Damian, Richard,” Damian says softly. “You fell asleep on the dining room. I’m taking you up to bed.”

“Bruce never came?”

“Came to what?”

“Dinner,” Dick mumbles into Damian’s shoulder. “For my birthday.”

The realization hits Damian like a ton of bricks. He stops in his tracks, his arms squeezing around Dick.

Because it’s his brother’s birthday.

Or, it was his brother’s birthday. It’s well past midnight now.

And no one remembered.

Damian had celebrated with Dick the weekend before, but this younger version of his brother wouldn’t have known that. He wouldn’t have known that Damian had a group project for school he had to meet up with classmates to work on, he wouldn’t know that Damian didn’t actually forget his birthday.

“I’m sorry, Richard,” he tells him, his voice cracking. “I’d celebrated with your older self earlier, but I didn’t think about how you wouldn’t remember in your current state.”

“It’s okay,” Dick mutters. “I didn’t think Mr. Wayne would remember, anyway.”

Hearing Dick call their father Mr. Wayne makes his stomach drop. It makes him sad and furious and like he might throw up.

He doesn’t know how to make it better.

[lazycrazyperson]

omfg this was truly sad to read especially the end

[cheese-vikings]

I love the fics where the bats don’t know that dick was renegade during his teen titans era and randomly catch him doing weird shit

Jason and dick mid heated fight they’re both pinned and dick loses both his escrima sticks Jason’s injured and all of a sudden he gets really focused grabs Jason’s guns and starts firing with deadly accuracy shooting to incapacitate rather than kill or maim

Jason: what the f u c k

dick: what?

Jason: since when are you a fucking sharp shooter???

dick: …

dick: uh it’s a long story

Jason: No fucking way don’t long story me bitch tell me when the hell you learned to aim like that

dick: incoherent mumbles

Jason: what?

dick: deathstroke the terminator

Jason: are you fucking serious?????

dick: what! You’re not the only one who’s allowed to have a rebellious teenage phase

[lazycrazyperson]

i love this kind of genre

[lazycrazyperson]

i have multiple headcanons (don't ask me which precisely because anytime someone gives me a new one they shift around to fit my view) but there is one (1) that is a hc prime namely that Dick hates Talia and vice versa. because when dick was little she tried to get dick away from Bruce when she dates him. and that stuck forever. it only subdued a little when damian bevlcame his robin and he needed to get along with her for damis sake.

[batsandbirdbrains]

Boyhostage dick grayson but everytime he gets kidnapped it's like free childcare.

7yo dick freeing himself and demanding ice cream from random goons.

The first time slade kidnaps him he's so impressed he almost wants to keep dick instead of the ransom.

“Gimme ice cream!” the eight year old hostage demands, and Slade looks up from his tablet to see the child standing stubbornly next to his chair, arms crossed, pout set firm on his face.

“What do you say?” Slade teases, silently trying to work out how the kid got out of the ropes.

“Now!”

Slade actually snorts, not sure what he expected from a billionaire’s ward. He’s taking stock of the kid, looking him up and down, amused at how his little foot is tapping impatiently on the floor.

“I’ll get you some ice cream,” he bargains, “if you tell me how you slipped the ropes.”

“It was easy. But I’m not gonna tell you how, ‘cause then you’ll just change it and then it’ll be hard to get out of again.”

“Smart boy,” Slade praises him, smirking when he sees how the boy preens.

“I still want ice cream.”

“What flavor?”

“Mint chocolate chip!”

“You’re in luck,” he says, getting up and walking towards the freezer he keeps in this particular safe house. He just has to keep the kid here until Wayne pays the ransom to the disgruntled former board member who hired him. “I have vanilla.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“Tough, that’s what you’ll get.”

“Can’t you take me to go get some?” Dick whines, following after him and standing on his toes to lean against the counter, watching as Slade scoops ice cream into a bowl.

“Not a chance, kid.”

Dick huffs, his cheeks puffing out, but he snatches the bowl as soon as Slade slides it over. He scampers over to the far side of the room to nestle himself with his back to the corner, his eyes not leaving Slade as he spoons ice cream into his mouth.

Batman comes and subdues Slade an hour later, taking Dick back to Wayne Manor. Slade was already paid either way, it’s no skin off his nose if Batman went and beat the guy who hired him to a pulp.

When he finds out a few months later that the Grayson boy is the fluttery little Robin he’s had his eyes on, it suddenly all makes sense. And now he wants the boy to be his apprentice more than ever.

[lazycrazyperson]

dick , boyhostage, as you put it so neatly put it, has in his youth the best excuse to escape, he's a trained contortionist so he can bend his body just the right way to loosen the robes, jason also a little bit of an advantage if you pick him as a streetwise kid, bringing a knife everywhere. and damian only if his background as a loa child is public otherwise he's the same as tim and couldn't try to escape without breaking cover/being suspicious.

[batsandbirdbrains]

You know what, no, I want Dick to be the one outif the family tha dies first. I want him to have died when he was shot in the head, he flat lined for a few minutes there and that's why Bruce fired him, he didn't want that it happen again, because next time it might be permanent, so Bruce wanted there to be no next time. I want Dick to just never acknowledge that, and maybe he dies after that as well, maybe he dies a lot, maybe death itself doesn't want Dick, or maybe the universe doesn't want to see what would happen if Dick Grayson died. I want to see Dick never bringing up the fact that he died, years later Jason thinks he's the Robin that died, the one that was failed, and he is, but Dick was dead first, unlike what the rest of the family assumed. Because Dick never brings it up, never brings up all the other deaths, and so everyone assumes he hasn't died. After Spyral, everyone assumed he lied about his dead, but Dick just doesn't feel the need to correct them. This isn't the first time he died, and it probably won't be the last, and maybe the other never find out, maybe Dick just lives with that, and the trauma that death brings, maybe Dick is literally taunting death and coming out alive every single time, even if he didn't stay alive the whole time

(Sorry, that was a lot longer than I thought it would be)

Another night of this gif being relevant:

[lazycrazyperson]

basically dick is immortal, but doesn't flaunt his ability, also how fast does death spit him out again like is it a instant thing, almost a Deadpool thing or does it take some times like the tvd vampires?

[batsandbirdbrains]

Thinking about 8 year old Dick and worlds finest. Like young Bruce and Clark trying to form a team and learn to trust one another while also co-parenting the Baby Ever. And they make it work for years!!

Eventually the JL is up and running and people get busy so Clark isn’t as involved and Dick is also spreading his wings and growing up (becoming Nightwing), so by the time the other bat kids are established they have no idea about how *close* superbat (romantic or platonic) + Dick used to be.

Maybe only Jason got a glimpse of the original trio, but the memory has long since faded. And one day everyone is looking through pictures at the manor and they find a whole album, covered in dust on a bottom shelf, FULL of pictures !!

- 9yo Dick wearing a proto type robin suit being lifted into the air by Superman in the batcave with Bruce in the back visibly panicking

- side-by-side pictures of 10yo Robin asleep in Batman’s lap on a random rooftop and in the other it’s the exact same pose but Dick and Bruce are both asleep in the manor with Clark taking the picture selfie-style

- 11yo Dick blowing out candles on a Superman themed birthday cake with Clark in the background holding back tears!!

Like his childhood obviously wasn’t perfect but Dick was sososo loved and it’s evident in every photo and idk I just really like when others see it too

My heart is going to BURST I love this. I love Bruce & Clark being best buds, Clark introducing Bruce and an eight year old Dick to his parents like “yeah this is my best friend and his adopted son we’re co-parenting” and Ma and Pa Kent are immediately enamored by Dick and telling him they can call him gramma and grampa.

Actually wait are the Kents the kind of grandparents who would have silly names like memaw and pop-pop? Nana and Pappy? Or smth along those lines? Idk I like to think Dick would change it up to keep everyone on their toes but always falls back on the good old gramma and grampa.

I want the other Batkids to stumble upon home videos of teeny tiny Dick Grayson covered in flour because he and Bruce were trying to make a pie for Clark to remind him of home and things went awry. Dick is giggling up a storm and Bruce ends up pulling a frozen pie out to heat up in the oven. They bought it at the store as a backup and it was damn good planning on Bruce’s part.

Maybe a video of Dick trying to teach Clark how to a back flip, “And you can’t use your superpowers, that’s cheating!” Bruce is very smug at the end bc it took Clark a long time to figure it out (he eventually cheats and uses his superpowers but Dick doesn’t know, or at least doesn’t let on that he knows), but Bruce just does it like it’s easy-peasy.

Perhaps a picture of Dick holding onto the bill of a baseball cap as he wears it, his nose scrunched up because it’s for the Metropolis team. He’s an avid Gotham Knights fan, but Clark got free tickets from work and invited them to go with him, so Bruce said they had to wear Metropolis gear. Dick is still wearing a Gotham Knights jersey though (they aren’t even playing in this game, they’re not even in the same league). Clark is sitting next to him, his arm wrapped around Dick, and he’s grinning and holding a thumbs up.

A picture of all three of them after a gala that Bruce took in a bathroom mirror lmao but Dick is passed out on Clark’s shoulder, drooling.

There’s a whole folder of childish drawings of the three of them doing whacky stunts as both their normal selves and their superhero alter egos. They were clearly drawn by Dick, but there’s a stray few that might have been drawn by Clark or Bruce, most likely when they were all coloring together because Dick insisted.

It’s just so cute I want it so bad give me all the fluffy slice of life found family stuff pls I love it.

[lazycrazyperson]

soo cuteee

[actually-alice-rose]

jason instead of hating tim decides "fuck it, bruce thinks he can replace me, then im gonna replace him"

he makes a robin suit fit for his adult body, and decides that damian is hoing to be his batman, damian is fine with this because he gets to be batman

they show up at gotham while bruce and tim are with the jl and just start being batman and robin, when dick shows up to investigate they tell him what there doing and he nearly chokes laughing

when bruce and tim get back to the cave they are very shocked to a 10 year old in a batman costume and a brick shithouse in a robin costume chatting with nightwing, ane before bruce can say anything this child shouts in the most child doing a batman voice voice "who are you and why are you in the batcave" and jason says "holy impostor batman" bruce and tim are so confused that they dont even react when the damian and jason speed of in the batmobile with dick

tim: you saw that too right

bruce: is it possible were in an alternative dimension

tim: no i dont think so, and i wanna know why was dick so cool with them

bruce: what i want to know is why the robin looked like an adult jason

it gets to the point that rougues start calling bruce and tim "fakeman" and "notbin" (some were paid to do this by jason, othwr just thought it was funny)

they show up at galas for WE and talk about how much they love being partnered with brucie and how thier so thankfull that the fake impostors are not being used against them, bruce only resists shouting that hes the real batman because he isnt in costume

one night dick says he's bringing guests to family dinner, and shows up with damian and jason in costume, and bruce just loses it, demanding to know who they are, and what they think thier doing, he does not handle the identity reveals well, tim is dissapointed in himself for not solving it sooner

[lazycrazyperson]

O MY GODDD THIS IS HILARIOUS💀💀 IM DYING

[batsandbirdbrains]

Canonically dick used to workout for around 10 hours with his parents since he was like 4 it would be fun for the bat family to find out

That’s fucking demonic (says I, who just worked out for 1.5 hours and wants to collapse)

I think Bruce would think he’s insane

“Are you…human?”

Dick, on hour 8 and still going strong, now standing on his hands on top of the parallel bars Bruce installed for him, “You tell me, petty boy.”

Bruce turns to Alfred and whispers, “He scares me.”

“Congratulations, sir,” Alfred says in a bored tone, “you’ve officially entered parenthood.”

[lazycrazyperson]

gimmee

[imtired-likerllytired]

Things that have 100% happened in the dc universe

Damian very frustrated with both his parents climbing through dicks window: Grayson who is your most recent paramour

Jason who got hurt in haven so he snuck in and is eating Dicks ice cream: huh?

Damian: you’re not Grayson

Jason: and thank god for it, why do you wanna know who dicks “paramour” is

Damian: I don’t have to explain myself to you

Dick leaving the kitchen holding a second tub of ice cream: oh hey dami, what’s up

Damian: which one of your redheads is your lover this month?

Jason: *chocking on his ice cream*

Dick pinching the bridge of his nose: Damian we’ve talked about this, they’re not MY redheads, I also don’t exclusively date redheads.

Damian: …so which one is it?

Jason: he clocked you there

Dick: shut up Jason and eat your ice cream

Dick: why do you wanna know Dames

Damian: research

Dick: I’m seeing Kori right now

Damian: ah the alien, she is strong

Dick a little dreamily: yeah… yeah she is

Damian: she will make a fine mother

Jason: *putting his ice cream down* what

Dick: what?!?

Damian: do you think if you were to court her with the intent to marry she would adopt the family habit of picking up strays.

Dick: damian i am so so so confused right now please explain

Jason: please so I can go back to my ice cream without it being a choking hazard

Damian: I am making but a simple inquiry Richard

Dick: we both know you don’t talk like that anymore, spill

Damian: …mother is being… bothersome

Dick: fork found in kitchen, Talia found making mine and Bruce’s life hell.

Damian: let me rephrase, I am finding mother bothersome

Dick: oh?

Jason: OH?

Damian rambling a bit: yes and since you were a far superior Batman, and I am the son of the bat and of course there was the many discussions of adoption before we knew that father would return

Jason: THERE WAS DISCUSSIONS OF WHAT NOW DICKHEAD

Dick: not the time Jay

Jason: nuh uh definitely the time Dicolas, you were gonna adopt the pipsqueak??

Dick: yeah jay, Bruce was dead I was raising him? What would you rather I kept him as ward for a decade and messed him up??

Jason: your issues with Bruce are showing

Damian: when are they not-

Dick: Hey!

Jason: HA! Even the kid clocked you

Damian: AS I was saying, as I am finding mother bothersome and I always find father bothersome. I have simply decided I must find people who are a better for the position

Dick: of your parents?

Damian: yes exactly

Jason: I feel like I’m on lifetime rn

Dick: and you want me to? What? Call Kori and ask her if she wants to join me in adopting her on again off again boyfriend’s brother. Who mind you is the biological son of Batman whose contingency for her going rogue is literally to get her hooked on what is essentially space coke and ruin her life.

Jason: Bruce has SPACE COCAINE???

Damian: nonsense Richard

Dick: okay so then what-

Damian: i cut out the middle man and sent her a message approximately 5 minutes ago

Dick: kid we’ve talked about this.. boundaries

Jason: fuck this weird ass family dynamic, you’re telling me Bruce Wayne has god damn space coke

Dick: he’s Batman jase, he has literally everything

Jason:…. Do you think space coke works on Superman

Dick: I’m not answering that

Jason: BECAUSE YOU KNOW, DID BRUCE GIVE CLARK SPACE COKE

Dick: I will answer any and all questions, if you get me out of this conversation with Damian

Damian: there is no need, your partner has agreed to the adoption on the grounds that you two are to be wed.

Dick: what-

Damian: she says to be at the courthouse tomorrow at 1pm

Dick: huh-

Damian leaving out of the window he came through: see you tomorrow Richard

Dick: WAIT. What? Which court house? Which country??? I’m pretty sure Kori’s in Japan? Hey wait damian? Get BAck HERe what?

Jason slowly reaching for his ice cream again: so space cocaine?

Dick: I was an only child for 18 years? Couldn’t Bruce let me keep my damn streak

Jason: hey! I was also dead for 3 years before bruce adopted tim, technically you’ve been an only child for 21 years of your life

Dick: shut up

Jason: tell me about the space coke Richard

[lazycrazyperson]

ooh wow this is an amazing convo loveee itt

[ananasinus]

Dick's brothers steal his clothes.

Damian, although he won't admit it, loves it when his older brother hugs him. He steals Dick's soft sweaters to feel cozy.

Tim, has completely forgotten what it's like to buy his own t-shirts. Yes, most of his t-shirts are from Kon, but the rest? Honestly stolen from Dick.

Jason, when he first moved to the estate, loved Dick's sweatshirts, but now? He's not only taller, but broader in the shoulders. So he makes up for it with household items and socks.

Sometimes he shows up in the middle of Dick's apartment with a backpack and has to run errands.

Dick, trying to sleep: What are you doing?

Jason: Never mind, I just came to get some shampoo.

Dick, sleepily: Uh huh.

Dick, after thirty seconds of thought: Wait, what the hell?

Jason, leaving through the window: By the way, stop buying that brand, it gives me dandruff.

Dick:...

Dick, turns over and decides to pretend it's a dream: anyway

(Dick knows that he is stealing things, so he steals them back from time to time. also, he replenishes his supplies with Bruce's things, so everything is fine)

[lazycrazyperson]

I feel like jason would still steel dicks hoodies e.g the oversized ones, cause I feel like dick probs went through the 'everything needs to be oversized to be comfortable' phase, and thus those are the ones jason will steel

[papayafromtv]

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 3

*wind whooshing* *grunting* *the sound of scraping against stone*

Dick: you have to be cheating somehow, you could never do that jump before!

Jason: how the fuck do you cheat at parkour?

Dick: *pause*

Dick: secret.... winches.

Jason, incredulous: secret winches?

Dick: secret winches. you got like- i dunno. stuff to help you up here.

Jason: *snorts* you're a fucking idiot. i can do the jump because i got steroided by the lazarus pit and pokemon evolved three times the size of myself, dipshit.

Dick, humming: yeah, that must have been a culture shock.

Jason: well it was fucking something that's for sure.

Dick: did you ever get like-, like when you woke up and you were just over six feet tall. did it fuck with your head?

Jason: like did i forget and run into doorframes a fuck ton-?

Dick: -yeah, like what was it like?

Jason: *hums consideringly*

Jason: kinda like. what i imagine the hulk had to go through. like i was just suddenly real big and real strong.

Dick: was it cool?

Jason: parts of it were cool, parts of it- *wheeze* parts of it were fucking fantastic.

Dick, very amused: ok now- wait hold on- don't you give me that fucking look-

Jason: *laughing*

Dick: -alright. brother to brother, i feel like we're close enough with each other to discuss this as mature adults. but i have to ask,

Jason, audibly grinning: -oh, i'm proportionate.

Dick: *bursts out laughing* that- that must have been fucking wild-

Jason: IT WAS- it was- *breathy laugh* it sure was something-!

Dick: how long after you came out the pit did you notice?

Jason: how long- dude, instantly!

Dick: *laughing*

Jason: i was out that pit like that fuckin' tiktok audio, just 'woah woah, wait, where my dick at?!'

Dick: *laughing louder*

Jason: just climbing out, barely conscious, in the back of my mind like 'did they tie a weight between my legs or something because this shit ain't normal, why's it heavy'

Dick, crying: why's it heavy-!

Jason: i will say in all honesty i kinda forgot about it for a while.

Dick: how do you forget?

Jason: i dunno, just kinda doing my thing. mentally i was still like, fifteen, so as much as my cock did interest me, once Talia gave me a shiny sword i was like 'ooooh' and instantly stopped thinking about it.

Dick: was there not any like, mechanical issues?

Jason: mechanical- like, did it work? yes, dude, it fuckin' worked?

Dick: well i don't know i just feel like- it's probably like getting a new phone, right? like they're all pretty similar but when you transfer over to a new model there's an adjustment period?

Jason: OH- ok yeah, no, i get you. no there was definitely an- *slight wheeze* there was an adjustment period.

Dick: *starting to laugh* i don't even know if i want to ask,

Jason: *wheeze* well it was- like i said i forgot for a while, right? so the first time i slept with somebody,

Dick: *cackling* no, littlewing what did you do?

Jason: no i think i just ruined the mood a little bit in the beginning, because like- like it was just as much a surprise to me as it was to her, right?

Dick: *cackling even louder*

Jason: so she was- *wheeze* she was fuckin'- *high pitched, breathy* she was below me as i got it out, and she went 'oh wow, it's so big', and my fuckin' stupid ass was just- wide-eyed looking at it like 'jesus fucking christ it is isn't it?!'

Dick, choking: i can't- i'm fucking crying-

Jason: *half-silent wheezes*

Dick, slightly delirious: but didn't you ever, like, try it out alone beforehand?!

Jason: WELL I-

Damian: OH MY FUCKING GOD. S T O P.

Jason and Dick: *cut off chokes*

Damian: MAY I FUCKING REMIND YOU, that BOTH i AND Batman are on this line tonight!

Jason, slightly muffled: *shocked laugh* oh my god, B-?

Damian: he's been staring blankly into a gutter since Nightwing first mentioned genitalia.

Dick, high pitched through hitched breaths as Jason starts cackling in the background: yeah that's- that's our bad, B. Sorry about that.

Damian: i feel like i also deserve an apology.

Jason: *cackling louder*

[viciusknight]

MOOOOREEE

[lazycrazyperson]

ooh the plot twist with damian and Bruce.... I did not see that coming. let me tell you when I read that I went down laughing

[chaoticbatfam]

Jason: *touches garlic while making pasta* Jason: Jason: fuck, I meant to do that with gloves on Steph: *watching* why? Jason: now dick’s gonna refuse to be in a room with me for the next week. He’s got a fuckin’ ridiculous sense of smell Steph: surely— dick: *walks in* Jason: Steph: dick: *walks back out* Steph: damn, okay

[lazycrazyperson]

oehhh dats a new hc😏😏