My Life As A Twenty Something Robot

Zach. 27. Pittsburgh-ish. Mostly memes whatever else I like that comes across my dash

[vampantheon]

pros of being on testosterone: my kermit impression is getting better

cons of being on testosterone: my Mort from Madagascar impression is getting worse

[vampantheon]

peace and love on planet fucking earth

[junkfoodcinemas]

Super Mario Bros. (1993) + incorrect quotes

[rcktpwr]

fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed

[ceeberoni]

i will give the  horse that kills me no such luxury

[fwippy]

interesting dates on this post

[nation40-deactivated20251030]

Kitten and puppies and bunnies are All best Friends And eat cotton candy together and frolic in The fieldd

[official-doctor-robotnik]

I will roboticize them all

[moth-grrrl-mavis]

Robotnik ass reply.

[moth-grrrl-mavis]

I gotta start reading URL's.

[segamascott]

[segamascott]

say tay i hear you like em dumb

[grilledcheezy92]

I try not to get upset over brain dead takes like this but

1) Taylor and Kendrick are friends

2) Taylor's lyricism and entendre when clapping back at snipes taken at her are on par with Kendrick

3) this is more like MGK vs Eminem. Charli talked shit and wrote a song, Taylor gave it a single verse of attention that absolutely obliterated then pivoted to include anyone who claims to hate her but devotes time to ranting/raving and/or writing thinkpieces on why she "sucks". The message of the song being: It's cute that you think you can hurt my feelings

[segamascott]

1. the idea of taylor swift being friends with kendrick because she bought a feature one time a decade ago

2. the idea of taylor swift's lyricism being "on par" with kendrick lamar (???)

3. the idea that taylor swift could possibly be anyone in this situation other than drake

[jadeissirsslut]

[geekysteven]

The political party that legalized running over protesters is appalled at this climate of political violence.

[zilnas]

The political party that incited a violent insurrection at the nation's capital and then pardoned all the perpetrators is appalled at this climate of political violence.

[glumshoe]

I’ll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as “attractive” or even “sexy” to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isn’t?

[glumshoe]

Sometimes, sure, but why was Maid Marian a fox in Robin Hood? There wasn’t anything particularly “foxlike” about her personality, and it would make more sense for her to be a lion. They made her a fox only because Robin was a fox and making her something else would be “weird”, but I don’t think the wolf cop or the chicken maid or the lion prince were actually meant to represent race.

[countesspetofi]

The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.

[glumshoe]

there are only two genders: frog and pig

[forestdwellingrat]

I’ve pointed out to my friends that the fact that Kermit and Miss Piggy’s kids are like that means either

1) they reproduce asexually and the children are clones of each parent OR

2) Kermit and Miss Piggy are members of the same sexually dimorphic species, hence the split between their male and female children

yes I have spent too long running about potential muppet biology

[glumshoe]

oh god

[sailor-lady]

Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it

[glumshoe]

Do you think there’s a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?

[jenivi]

[aflowerthatbloomsinadversity]

Just wanted to show u guys that in Muppets Most Wanted, Piggy fantasizes about her and Kermit having babies and this is what they look like

So do with that what you will

[fremedon]

Recall that in The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit and Fozzie are brothers. And this was their dad (right):

[capitalism-and-analytics]

Thank you for specifying, which one of the two individuals in the picture was the dad haha

[la-pou-belle]

I, for one, think Shrek handled interspecies coupling the best. By this I am of course talking about the Dronkeys.

[kestrelsparverius]

[adrnired]

In season 3 of BoJack Horseman, we learn Diane (middle) has been impregnated by Mr. Peanutbutter (left). The fetuses are confirmed to be puppies.

[autisticexpression]

This is the worst addition to this post

[araku-validrava]

I am reminded of Treasure Planet.

In which Captain Amelia (left), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic cat, had hybrid babies with Doctor Doppler (middle), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic dog, whom also gave birth to the babies

[wizardlizardinhislair]

I always thought that in muppet movies like muppet Christmas Carol the characters are played by the muppets (so kermit is acting and playing the role of Bob rather than being him) so the kids in that film would just be other acting muppets right?

Or is that just something my brain made up?

[ridiculouslyphotogenicsinosauru]

[kingscrown666]

Last time I saw this post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at the second Eggman

[the-haiku-bot]

Last time I saw this

post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at

the second Eggman

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[astronomical-bagel]

anyone in this thread smoke weed

[susiron]

In Leo the Lion (2005) a lion and elephant have the most cursed hybrid children and I think yall should see them

(also Matt Mercer voices the villain, Maximus Elefante and I think that’s very important)

[spaceinvaydr]

[headspace-hotel]

I think that what they are talking about is perfectly clear.

[hiveswap]

Amogus

[hellsitegenetics]

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Closest match: Clivina fossor genome assembly, chromosome: 13 Common name: Digger Slope-rumped Beetle

[nudityandnerdery]

[theveryquietquiet]

‎

[chavisory]

[redshiftsinger]

"sir this is a wendy's" = "I have no idea why you're here for that but this is possibly the LEAST relevant place for you to be right now"

"ma'am this is a map store" = "this is an even more relevant place for you to be than you know yet"

[greeniery]

I’ve had a tumblr for 4 years what the fuck am I doing with my life 

[greeniery]

chuckles darkly

[plant-based-person]

[beardedmrbean]

[victusinveritas]

[razielim]

oh i'm going to misusle and straight up fuckle this knowledge so badly

[depsidase]

[lcantbelieveitsnotzach]

Without exaggeration that money would change my life completely

[winningmachine]

Who else up thinking about bjj black belt craig jones saying You can give anyone steroids. Despite our best efforts we are yet to give anyone autism.

[lcantbelieveitsnotzach]

Thing is, as a big MMA/combat sports fan, most if not all of the GOATs definitely got the ‘tism

[parkchanwoohoo]

Every macho dipshit talks abt how many people they'd kill to protect their family as though I'm supposed to be impressed. I can hear the glee in your voice dude you're ACHING for a chance to do this, you're giving up nothing in this situation. Tell me how many loads you'd take to protect your family

[parkchanwoohoo]

"I don't care what's going on you mess with my wife and kids I'm putting a bullet in you" Yeah yeah yeah when was the last time you did the dishes without being asked. Can you picture your wife happily working at a job that makes more than yours without punching a hole in the drywall. Make her lunch

[parkchanwoohoo]

Hey guys sorry I'm realizing that the word "loads" here is ambiguous and causing some confusion as go what I meant. I just wanted to clarify that I did mean cum. And by "take" I meant anywhere. Face. Mouth. Ass. In your breakfast coffee. Thick ass cum too like the people involved are all definitely dehydrated. Not a lot of vegetables in their diet. Coming out in chunks than in spurts. If you brag about murdering people for your family you should also be able to brag about swallowing the kinda sperm you have to chew to get down, like softened boba, or else you don't love your family. Hope this clears things up

[angelbabymikaa]

ten times out of ten i would rather share my country with immigrants who risked their lives to be here over self proclaimed fascists who seek to dismantle the constitution and it’s not even a hard decision if i’m honest