here and queer

Em | nb | Nerd of Many Things

[idlelizard]

cookie beast, stay tuned for his post-oven evolution...

[idlelizard]

wait he's cute!!!

[o-craven-canto]

Come to the Human Cuisine Restaurant, we have:

Boiled grain

Flatbread with various toppings

Flatbread wrapped around filling

Fried lean meat

Stew of fatty meat and starch

Fermented vegetable

Oily sauce

Aromatic herbs

Stimulant alkaloids

Alcoholic beverage

[teaboot]

My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying

[teaboot]

Well-to-do finance manager with tidy shoes: "Why hello, sweetheart. Can you say 'hi'? Aren't you cute. Are you on a trip with your mom?"

4 year old me: why must we do this

Fantastic old woman in the leopard print coat: "Why yes, my tooth IS real silver! Nobody ever asks me that. Do you like cats?"

4 year old me, suddenly paying attention: Finally, A Person Of Intellect

[boiledegghole]

americans love doxxing their home states more than anything. we hear the name of our home state and everything goes black and we wake up 10 minutes later, having reblogged no fewer than 8 posts featuring the name of our home state

[princessbonecrimes]

h/t to emilyscartoons

[curioscurio]

gandalf big naturals stimboard

[curioscurio]

Happy Pride to Gandalf Big Naturals

[transmascmarypoppins]

why is this post completely broken in every way imaginable

[cecilsrandomeverything]

Broken notes… deactivated account… removed image….

Finally, we have them all.

[spacefinch]

In addition: OP’s name is just… gone. No “[insert username]-deactivated[insert a bunch of numbers]” as is the standard for deactivated blogs.

Just the world “deactivated.” Look upon their post, ye mighty, and despair.

[chatblancofficial]

It’ll be almost impossible to find this post unless it wanders across your dash.

[black-quadrant]

Reblog this triple-dead post for something good to happen to you this week.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

i was watching a video about how regional cheeses are made around the world, and was shown a type of mozzarella called zizzona (the z/zz pronounced like the 'zz' in 'pizza', with a 'tz' sound), which, yes, means "mother's breast".

so rest easy tonight knowing they have titty cheese in italy.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

they also make special GIANT 66lb zizzona

so rest easy tonight knowing they have hummina hummina aWOOGAH iyiyiyiyi GAZONGA cheese in italy

[girldixieflatline]

do u think shes flirting with me

[girldixieflatline]

update: she said my brainwaves r beautiful

[girldixieflatline]

this is the mad scientist in question btw

[girldixieflatline]

here u go lesbians

[tricky-bastard-pokemon]

ok so

everyone knows about this meme, right?

but does anyone else know the woman who made the food? no? time to educate!

This is “Mother Mary”, the owner of Blackberry’s mother.

She made all the cakes for the restaurant while it was open. Chef Gordon Ramsay tried her red velvet cake, and spoke this meme-able line:

He then called Mary over, complimented her food, and gave her a peck on the cheek.

Look how happy she was to hear that!!!

anyways, I hope she has been able to continue her love for baking since the restaurant closed down.

[tasmanianstripes]

For these who don’t know: The restaurant she worked at closed down but she left before that and opened her own bakery, that’s apparently very successful!

She has a youtube channel where she shares recipes and cooking advice!

[the-based-brit]

[audarcy]

[verdare1]

I need to see this movie…

[kamenwriter]

[monsterhospital]

Its like this but Godzilla actually does show up

[lastoneout]

Wait this is some galaxy brain shit actually, I'm gonna have to start doing this.

[beesmygod]

HARMFUL GAY STEREOTYPES EMBODIED BY MOHG

lives in sewer

kidnaps children actually he was cleared of this one

blood magic

[hexdrake]

never stops being funny

[melonflavored]

[banchie]

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

[gallusrostromegalus]

seconding these tags by @ragsy: #if the social consciousness has decided that duckduckgo is the Only Othet Search Engine#might i suggest 'go duck yourself'

[dmdog]

It lives in the arcade and leaves sticky little footprints on the linoleum. Naming it Gumble

[nycswebhead]

theres a new villain roaming around new york that has all the powers of a tapir. give me an hour or two im gonna go google what the fuck tapirs do ill let you know if we need to be scared

[nycswebhead]

OK it seems if you are fruits or berries this is really really bad news for you otherwise youre fine

[groupthinker]

something to consider

[unconventiononthelawofthesea]

my boss's trans lesbian daughter gave me really gross Chinese liquor

[aurpiment]

great mnemonic for the names of the planets