Oh No

i arranged that rice myself

[labelleizzy]

[eriyu]

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

I have never seen the 2nd object before, but with the Power of Algebra I now know it's a saw horse

Information is WILD

[utopians]

haters see me and say christ what is that

[amazoogle]

[memories-of-ancients]

Drinking horn with gilded copper mounts, Europe, 15th century

from The Hunt Museum, Limerick

[tarvek-sturmvoraus]

[localxenospores]

i was compelled

[beastoftheblackhole]

I was also compelled

[homunculus-argument]

[Freeze frame in the middle of an amazingly wild chase scene of some poor soggy bastard getting chased by an enraged crowd]

"Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering what's going on, and how I got into this situation in the first place."

[The stop unfreezes for a few seconds as this terrified target takes a few more desperate running steps, pausing again just as someone is about to grab his ankle]

"Well, the truth is, I still actually don't know what this was about. But I do know how I got here: I can never resist an angry mob. Now watch me get this fucker."

[the seizing hand grabs the runner by the ankle, he falls down and proceeds to get unceremoniously beaten to death. The protagonist brushes the dust off their clothes and the rest of the movie continues normally. The killing at the beginning scene is never mentioned again.]

[heedra]

In elementary school, my best friend and I had this game we would play where we were school supplies living inside a child's desk and going on slice-of-life adventures inside it. And I remember that a key component of our school supply society was a sort of religious schism that existed around the purpose and nature of the giant hand that occasionally reached in to grab different citizens, use them, and then return them, because most school supplies considered this an auspicious and enviable moment of being selected for a greater purpose and allowed a glimpse of a vast truth, but pencils considered it a horrible portent of doom because they always got sharpened during it and came back smaller and closer to death. We were third graders btw.

[zerosocialskillz]

I'm pulling these tags out prev

[orteil42]

been reposting my tumblr posts on bluesky. don't tell those chumps i'm feeding them my leftovers lmao

[spectrumspace]

[charlesoberonn]

Some of my favorite variants

[charlesoberonn]

More variants

[pukicho]

The loudest guy in the fucking world: hey man

[pukicho]

There's more after 'hey man' but you're deaf now

[lakevida]

everyone seems to be doing quite well

[dread-solomon]

Perisex trans people become intersex allys NOW or I am going to kill you

"males and females" "AFABs and AMABs" "TMEs and TMAs" "You're TME, you'll never understand how scary it is to be a girl with a penis in the women's bathroom" (said to me, person who was literally beat up in middle school for being a girl with a penis in the girl's bathroom) "AMABs can never get cervical cancer, that's an AFAB only thing" "they won't let trans kids have hormones, but they'll give them to cis kids for free" "you can't be cis and trans at the same time" you can't be transfem and transmasc" "You can't be transfem if you were AFAB" "You can't be transmasc if you were AMAB" "RMAB and RFAB? Now you're just making things up" "All intersex people are biologically nonbinary" "I want to transition into intersex" "I'm such a b*eddel/f*ta/h*rm" "You're intersex? I'm so jealous, that means you get an easier transition right?" "I wish I was intersex, then I could get myself pregnant" "Trans people are brain intersex" "So what does it look like?"

shut up Shut Up SHUT UP, my new rule is that until a perisex person has at very least read the interACT faq, they are not allowed to talk about intersex topics at all! And if they spout bullshit after doing that then I'm going to start biting!!!!!

[stormsbourne]

usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed

[tibli]

tbf to the body, stomach bugs are easier to flush out since they are already in The System That Flushes Things Out From The Body, and that includes BOTH ends.

with a cold you gotta wait for the macrophages in your blood to start Eating Everything, and they are. not big. it takes them a while. please be more considerate of your macrophages in the future, theyre doing their best

[marlinspirkhall]

I've got to find myself more macrophage

[acesexualspock]

Now Hiring: macrophages

[daughter-of-sapph0]

immunesystem.com/careers/macrophage

[maythray]

and yeah.... yeah!!! i do truly hate your yaoi ship! 🕊🪷💫💛💛

[maythray]

fans of this post please take note of the way i only called out yaoi ships and not yuri ships. Thanks.

[filmnoirsbian]

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

[filmnoirsbian]

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

[filmnoirsbian]

I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job

[this-is-a-name-dont-worry]

gshsjb

[lee-jahahaha]

bro we gotta get israel off the map permanent style i do not care how we do it they gotta go

[lee-jahahaha]

i take it back i DO care how we do it i think they need to die

[lee-jahahaha]

"what about the children" not my problem bro they kill palestinian kids all the time they cannot have an opportunity to rebuild

[lee-jahahaha]

bro we gotta get israel off the map permanent style i do not care how we do it they gotta go

[lee-jahahaha]

i take it back i DO care how we do it i think they need to die

[lee-jahahaha]

bro we gotta get israel off the map permanent style i do not care how we do it they gotta go

[lee-jahahaha]

sky pride is a really good xianxia guys lock in and read it!!! tian zihao is such a fun character and you can really empathize with him and understand his thought process, and the other characters are also written really well. the setting is really interesting and you can tell warby picus has done research into the song(pretty sure thats the time period and area this novel takes place) and daoism, so the philosophy and cultivation is hashed out well and makes sense. also the romance is cute im rooting for them fr