brain wasps babes

alex // 23 // they // not spoiler free, tags are for comments only, turn away this is a lawless place

[billymayslesbian]

imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit

[torchichate]

You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh

[creature-adjacent]

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

[questionablepastries]

[beardedmrbean]

One of these days I'm gonna give in to the temptation

[dragon-in-a-fez]

does the body ALWAYS have to keep the score? maybe we could just have a friendly game this time. maybe we can just have fun without putting numbers on it

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

After school care pulled me aside about my child dropping an f-bomb “without remorse” and I put on my concerned face and nodded a bunch.

Apparently he was building something with a younger kid “who really looks up to him and is just starting to make friends” and said “Hey, you’re really fucking good at this.” which is, in my estimation, really a parenting victory.

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

I absolutely failed at doing this:

[beemovieerotica]

[beemovieerotica]

[pukicho]

Grease me up and put me in some metal pipes. Watch me slide around until I get stuck and die

[thebumblestbees]

do i have to watch can i go do something else

[pukicho]

I thought you'd like it

[threedollarsdotcom]

scientists are hard at work exploring each others bodies

[gothicprep]

heartening saga honestly

[targetedknowledge]

[notjusthespongenextdoor]

For a city to be walkable. It must also be sittable.

[notjusthespongenextdoor]

#every time I read this phrase the same thing happens#I read it as shittable and go wait that can't be right#oh right they were talking about public benches that makes more sense#but public bathrooms available without fees should also be a thing tho#cities should definitely be shittable#it happens EVERY SINGLE TIME

it must also be shittable

[hotvampireadjacent]

[jesseeisenberggirlfriendofficial]

why are you as two blonde people dating

[jesseeisenberggirlfriendofficial]

Oh Mein Gott die girlies auf zumblr leben in 1940!! Ja Ja!!!!!!

[liirker-at-thresholds]

I really like how the scientology speedrunning trend is developing, in this clip we see that the participants are

Not deterred by the closed door

Working as a group

Protecting their identities

Inflicting material costs to the institution via property destruction

Getting away at the end

These ideas were not all here from the beginning. They are genuinely gaining experience that can be applied elsewhere

[liirker-at-thresholds]

The church of scientology is on tumblr and they are sending me anon asks telling me that they can't even commit to reporting a post

[lustcannibalism]

[weepyemperor]

They fuck you up, your mom and dad. They absolutely mean to and they ruminate about it like emperors plotting sieges, for hours a day, they have excel spreadsheets called "quickest pathway towards Giving my innocent child borderline personality disorder,"... But they do.