Hello

Mom took *many* Tylenol while pregnant w/me

[lesboficfanatic]

Been hearing a lot of shit about Epic vs The Odyssey movie and why I (and a lot of us) judge one so much harsher then the other,

I think when it comes down to it Epic has the heart of the story despite its changes and inaccuracies while The Odyssey has no heart at all

[hylialeia]

listen it's not that I think epic the musical is a perfect adaption of the odyssey but it was an impressive passion project that knew what it wanted to be and knew what people gravitated to in the original work and it put significant effort into conveying this through its unique medium and tone to the point that hundreds of other people felt compelled to put effort into their own artistic interpretations of that version of the story. and that's really cool! and yes I would be more critical if it was a 100 million dollar project made by a professional because what the fuck do you mean you're a world-famous director and you cut the my name is nobody scene are you goddamn serious

[yaldabaothadeez]

Low-concept science fiction

[yaldabaothadeez]

What if there was space?

[lesboficfanatic]

shit fr?

[catboyelimgarak]

I dunno sometimes I just want freaknasty Garashir where it’s very much noted that Garak IS an Alien and vice versa for Julian to Garak

[rowans-stupid-brainworms]

Bilbo tries massaging Thorin’s shoulders out of habit and is genuinely horrified when he feels that they are as hard as diamonds. He spends an entire evening getting all the knots out of his husband’s shoulders and upper back. Afterwards, he turns to scold Thorin for letting it get that bad and finds that Thorin is deep in slumber, snoring quietly.

“You silly oaf,” Bilbo whispers, planting a kiss on his temple and tucking him in.

[homunculus-argument]

2026 roommate: The dishwasher's loaded. 1926 roommate, having a black coffee, a cigarette, a shot of whiskey, two uppers and a downer for breakfast: Then what the fuck's he washing dishes for?

[babyblankyerror]

Since Hobbits usually have lots of children, I think their death rate should also be a bit high?

Like– not all little fauntlings survive to their tweens, not all tweens get to see their future years. The younger a hobbit is, the more prone to danger they are.

Now, imagine the dwarfs all rolling their eyes at Bilbo when he tells a 'dangerous' story of his youth, them scoffing as he struggles to fall into step with them on their adventures. Then cut to them finding out just how EASILY hobbits die and suddenly they look at Bilbo with whole new eyes.

It doesn't help that apparently a young Bilbo was always throwing himself into dangerous situations for a hobbit.

(Even more hilarious if some suddenly treat him like he's made of glass and Bilbo is rapidly losing his patience and scolding them)

[lesboficfanatic]

got a moisturizer to put on (#selfcare) specifically after I get out of the shower cuz I’m #white and chronically #dehydrated, only problem? I put it on and feel like an evil eel

whoever came up with the wet oily sensation needs to go to timeout for that

[ernestlangston]

And now in the name of the Wells-Next-The-Sea constabulary, I'll punish you!

[lesboficfanatic]

Derek Hutchins 🤝 Arthur Lester

Fuckin hate cultists

[lesboficfanatic]

usually it’s the ‘smarter’ character in the dynamic who’s going through The Torment Nexus while the ‘dumber’ character gets to just kinda breeze through on a parallel track so it’s really kinda refreshing to see Derlord trucking along slipping on easy mode past the KiY’s attempts to corral him like some disobedient ferret getting out the bathroom during a house paint while Avery is fuckin struggling, white-knuckle bearing it Alice in wonderland style

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

Fanfic writers, reblog if you’re okay with people sharing the links to your fics to their friends and/or for fic rec posts without having to ask for your permission first

(I saw a debate about whether or not it was okay for people to share fic links around without asking the authors first, since some authors may not be comfortable with the links to their fics being shared around on twitter or tumblr. so I thought this post could be a blanket permission for authors who were okay with the links to their fics being shared around!)

[kit-williams]

please share it I need to know who else is unwell for how I write

[lesboficfanatic]

‘on the outside’ started playing just now on Spotify and it immediately got me sad asf and tearing up and initially I could’nt tell why I’m crying but like,

oh yeah…

[mimisempai]

Your voice is my rest

Summary

Bilbo tells Thorin stories from his childhood. After a while, he realizes that Thorin is falling asleep. Not wanting to disturb his beloved, the hobbit stops talking. However, it seems that his voice is the best lullaby for the King Under the Mountain.

Notes 

Just a little fluffy thing

Rating G - 808 words

The fire in the hearth was slowly dying down to embers, bathing the bedroom in a warm glow.

Bilbo sat with his back against the carved wooden headboard while Thorin lay on his side with his face nestled against Bilbo. A large hand rested casually on the hobbit’s thigh.

"You should have seen those fireworks, Thorin," Bilbo said softly, absently running his fingers through Thorin’s thick, dark hair and brushing it away from his forehead. "You know how Gandalf gets on my nerves, but he’s such an extraordinary wizard. He possesses such tremendous power and yet doesn't hesitate to use it to create something as trivial as fireworks meant to entertain insignificant halflings like us. I was very young, but I remember the joy of the people of the Shire when all those colors exploded into magnificent creatures." 

Bilbo paused in his tale, smiling as the memories came back. After a moment, he asked, "Come to think of it, I wonder: Do you dwarves use fireworks for your festivities?

"Hmm…"

Unable to tell if the dwarf was answering yes or no, Bilbo gently shook his thigh and asked, "Hey, Thorin, are you listening to me?"

"Yes, Bilbo. I’m listening," Thorin mumbled. He snuggled closer to Bilbo with a contented sigh, burying his face deeper into his thigh.

The halfling looked down at the dwarf. A tender, affectionate smile spread across his lips as he watched the mighty warrior, who had faced dragons and armies of orcs, turned into a sleepy, docile lump.

"What was I talking about, then?" Bilbo asked playfully, just to tease him.

Thorin replied, his voice muffled by Bilbo’s thigh, "Gandalf… fireworks… "

Bilbo let out a soft chuckle as he saw that his dwarf was already drifting toward the shores of sleep. It was a rare and precious sight, one that he didn’t feel he had the right to disturb. He was delighted to see Thorin Oakenshield, the King Under the Mountain, lay down his weapons and armor and rest peacefully beside him.

Careful not to startle him, Bilbo slid down the headboard and moved from a sitting position to lying on his side. He embraced Thorin, pulling him close against his chest and wrapping his arm around his waist. Bilbo tenderly cradled the dwarf’s head and pulled the thick woolen blanket up over their entwined bodies to shield them from the night’s chill.

He pressed a tender, lingering kiss to Thorin’s hair and whispered, "Good night, my love."

For a moment, he thought Thorin had fallen asleep completely. But then, a large hand moved, groping blindly in the darkness until it found its way under Bilbo’s tunic to rest on his bare hip. Finally, the dwarf placed a soft, warm kiss on Bilbo’s chest, on the patch of skin just above the hem of his tunic.

Thorin murmured, his voice already heavy with sleep, "Keep talking. I want to fall asleep to the sound of your voice."

This honest and heartfelt request touched Bilbo deeply, taking his breath away. He was so accustomed to seeing Thorin do everything on his own, never asking for anything or demanding anything, that seeing him ask for something as gentle as a voice to guide him to sleep moved the hobbit far more greatly than even the most solemn declaration could have.

He tightened his embrace and smiled in the dim light before resuming his story. He went on, recounting memories of his childhood in the Shire in a soft, rolling voice.

As he spoke, Bilbo felt the tension gradually leave Thorin’s body, muscle by muscle. The stiffness born of the constant burden the dwarf bore finally began to fade. The heavy hand resting on Bilbo’s hip grew heavier still before sliding gently onto the mattress. Thorin’s breathing deepened and evened out, taking on the peaceful rhythm of true rest.

Bilbo smiled in the darkness and let his voice fade to a soft murmur before falling silent. Little by little, he, too, felt sleep calling him, so he pressed one last kiss into the dwarf’s hair. The only reaction he got was a sigh of contentment. Then he gently rested his chin on Thorin’s head.

He was humbled to see that this great king could surrender himself like that in his arms. Yes, he might sometimes resent Gandalf for pushing him to his limits on more than one occasion, but his gratitude toward the wizard outweighed that resentment. Without Gandalf, Bilbo probably wouldn’t have known the infinite happiness he felt at that moment. The happiness of holding someone so precious in his arms.

He let out a long sigh of contentment as the fire crackled one last time before settling into a bed of glowing embers.

After one last drowsy embrace, the hobbit closed his eyes, letting the peaceful safety of their room envelop them both until morning.

_________

Still not beta'd (because I want it so)

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Bagginshield Masterlist

[fthgurdy]

Re: the last post, the article mentions that some places use clams to test the toxicity of the water. It’s like that in Warsaw- we get our water from the river, and the main water pump has 8 clams that have triggers attached to their shells. If the water gets too toxic, they close, and the triggers shut off the city water supply automatically.  

The clams are just better at measuring the water quality than any man-made sensors.

Edit: check out this documentary trailer : https://vimeo.com/408820791

[zvaigzdelasas]

God Bless Our Troops

[looksmokin]

They hot glued a spring to a clam and gave it full control over the water supply

[sindri42]

No of course not, that would be ridiculous.

They hot glued springs to eight clams and gave them collective control over the water supply.

[strangetikigod]

No of course not, hot glue would kill the clams.

The used silicone adhesive to attach springs to eight clams and gave them collective control over the water supply.

[emily84]

[corviiids]

the best death note joke format will forever be L asking light a simple question in which logical answer A might increase the likelihood of light being kira and logical answer B similarly might increase the likelihood of light being kira and after a short internal struggle light comes up with answer Y, which no human being has ever thought of as being a normal response in all of living history

[aberrantemotion]

the "what are your pronouns" comic is my fave example.

[k8rgrl]

For those unfamiliar, or simply wanting to see it again:

[gaslit-dipshits]