A Literal Piece Of Trash

There is no theme to this blog It’s a compilation of everything I enjoy I’m sorry

[pauliedraws]

I animated a bit from the Harry Potter Prisoner of Azkaban audio book, narrated by Stephen fry. Just for fun, don’t know if I’ll do any more of these.

[epochayur-deactivated20150920]

[steveisoncrack-blog]

HEY TUMBLR, LET’S PLAY A GAME

To play this game, go to MapCrunch, select “hide location”, make sure you have all countries unselected, and click go. What this will do is drop you in a random part of the world. It’s as if you woke up on the side of a road in an unfamiliar country. The goal of the game is to find your way to an airport so you can return home. 

Bonus Hard Mode: No using outside sources, and that includes using google maps to figure out your location from signs or landmarks

…I had plans today but now.

[peaceroxi]

THE AIRPORT GAME IS BACK.

[titaniumvulpes]

FUCK THIS GAME

LAST TIME I PLAYED IT DUMPED ME IN THE MOUNTAINS OF NORWAY

I PLAYED FOR LIKE 8 HOURS BEFORE BREAKING DOWN CRYING

[1blesstherains]

OMG NO STOP THIS GAME IS MY LIFE!!!

[one-pointperspective-deactivate]

IT’S BACK

[scully1998]

WHY IS THIS BACK

[darringtonshorthalt]

WHYYYYY

[kuoret-deactivated20140823]

oh shit

I HAVEN’T USED THIS GIF SINCE FEBRUARY

[krakkenchaos]

Always reblog Mapcrunch when someone tries to bring it back

[rosienut]

it dropped me in a fucking room full of pandas

[that-ships-hellabig]

Ohmygod

[penguinsstealingsanity]

It once dropped my in my home town a few km’s from the airport XD

[nogoawayok-deactivated20200618]

i think this is gonna be a problem

[officialukulele]

i feel threatened also why is one of the cows blurred out who is she 

[bidet-of-evil]

I’m trapped in a bathroom and i have no reflection

[lostinhistory]

I am on a dock by a bay

[bunjywunjy]

the last time I played this, it dumped me in the middle of a desert and when I turned the camera around it was literally standing next to the runway of an air force base

[kraetys]

Does that count?

[aromantic-goldfishdeactivated202]

Found a good boi

[marisatomay]

Every Adult In “Harry Potter” Let Us Down At Some Point And That’s Important a 900 page dissertation by me

[hermionejeanblr-deactivated2022]

And that includes Joanne Kathleen Rowling a tear stained afterword by me

[actual-ironman-tonystark]

Hagrid Is The Exception a rebuttal by me

[marisatomay]

The Time Hagrid Told Voldemort How to Take Out Something Protecting an Object that Grants Immortality When He Was Drunk and Other Well-Meaning Fuck Ups a lengthy chapter

[actual-ironman-tonystark]

You’re Absolutely Right a retraction

[original-missif]

How dare you assume Molly Weasley has done anything wrong ever

[kyraneko]

That Time Molly Yelled At The Twins And Ron For Saving Harry From Abuse And Starvation, Thus Likely Communicating To The Abused Kid In Her Presence That His Welfare Was Less Important Than Not Borrowing The Car, That Time Molly Was Utterly Condescending About How Harry Is A Child And Doesn’t Deserve To Know Anything In A Way That Probably Heightened His Determination To Prove Otherwise, That Time Molly Said The Twins Put Together Aren’t As Good As Any Of Their Brothers Over OWL Results That They Worked Hard On And Were Proud Of, That Time Molly Forcibly Cut Her Adult Son’s Hair Right Before His Wedding, That Time Molly Spent A Year Being Mean And Rejectful Toward Her Son’s Fiancee, That Time Molly Sent Hermione A Deliberate “Fuck You” Present For Easter Because She Believed A False Story Written In Witch Weekly Without Making Any Attempt To Ask The People Actually Involved, Those Times She Made Her Youngest Son’s Christmas Sweaters His Least Favorite Color, And Every Time She Belittled Her Husband’s Hobby, The Twins’ Interests, And Bill’s Appearance Because She Couldn’t Be Bothered To Understand Or Value Or Even Be Kind About Them a detailed reminder that no one’s perfect and sometimes what one person doesn’t mind or see hits another person hard

[themiscyra1983]

Florean Fortescue Just Wanted To Sell Some Ice Cream And Help Harry With His Homework He Is The Only Adult Who Didn’t Mess Up Until Getting Killed By Voldemort, RIP an increasingly strident addendum by me

[kyraneko]

OK You’re Absolutely Right Florean Fortescue Was In Fact Perfect As Far As I’m Aware a concession by me

[bananacracker33]

Charlie Weasley Just Wanted To Play With Dragons a fond reminder by me

[slytherellin]

If There Were Zero Expectations For Lockhart From The Start, Did He Technically Let Us Down? An inquiry

[rhosie-wayout-there]

You’re Technically Correct, You Can’t Be Let Fown If You’re Already On The Ground an amused afterword

[simonalkenmayer]

How Professor Flitwick valiantly fought racism and defended a castle without condescending to the children beneath his care even once, a brief monogram, by me.

[shadow-daughter]

Professor Flitwick allowed the bullying of Luna and theft of her belongings for years and appointed one of her bullies to Prefect, a tiny footnote

[simonalkenmayer]

We Have No Way Of Knowing If The Adults Were Ever Told, a small list of times that our main characters lied to prevent interference or oversight.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Luna Was Going Round Putting Up Wanted Posters For Stuff That Went Missing And Cheerfully Telling Anyone Who Asked That Other People Had Taken Them, The Adults Could Have Found Out If They Wanted To Know, a post it note from me.

[thebootydiaries]

you vaccinate your kids ? i squirt lemon in my son’s eyes to make him stronger against viruses . i activate his fight or flight response . he is so powerful he can now eat entire lemons , peel included .. tell me again how your vaccinated child isn’t inferior ?

[skinofmilkandhoney]

😂😂😂😂 because my kid isnt going to die from polio. I could give two shits if she could power down a whole lemon.

[thebootydiaries]

my son has been trained to eat polio while your kid struggles to even eat a simple yellow fruit . Pathetic

[skinofmilkandhoney]

Omg… your antivax mentality is so deluded that i cannot even begin to explain how you cannot eat polio because your tiny pinhead mind wouldnt be able to process it. Also, literally everything you have said qualifies as child abuse. I hope someone takes your kid away from you so they actually get a chance to live a decent and normal life free of debilitating diseases.

[thebootydiaries]

He has mastered laying eggs while your child learns the ABDs , don’t think for a second that they are the same . Your son is 2 ft getting no hoes while my son is 6’4 getting chicks daily . Don’t ever call my head a pin again

[valkyrie-ironhand]

You don’t know how human biology works, do you?

[thebootydiaries]

If I don’t know how biology works then why is my son a chick magnet pulling hoes left and right ? how did i raise his testosterone level to that of a wild moose hunting for his doe during mating season ? talk to me about biology when ur son learns to breed with deer

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

finally made that patreon page ya’ll been on about

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

that’s fair. i did make a real one though

[daughter-of-the-sea-and-stars]

I will throw you into the dashcon ball pit.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

lol sorry, couldn’t resist. real link is one of these three:  link 1  link 2  link 3

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

😂😂😂😂😂😂ok ok. i’m a horrible being and ya’ll have been good sports. if you enjoyed this and my other extremely aggravating handcrafted shitpostery, consider checking out my patreon?  There aren’t any tiers or exclusive content, but i will be taking requests & suggestions down the line. also might put together a raffle and/or d&d game for the first [x] patrons to sign on.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

boost this please

[missing-x-teeth]

I didn’t even click the link but I already know you rick rolled them

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i swear it’s not a rick roll

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*PINK ELDRITCH CACKLING*

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

WELCOME TO BIGGEST-GAUDIEST-PATRONUSES.HELL! THERE IS NOTHING NOBLE HERE! PICK A GOD & HOLD IT ACCOUNTABLE! WE SOW OUR SEEDS IN A BARREN LAND! FOLLOW TO SUFFER. UNFOLLOW TO TEMPT A PERNICIOUS FATE. SUPPORT ON PATREON FOR NO DISCERNABLE RETURN ON INVESTMENT:

$1 tier patrons get: I WILL SEEP INTO YOUR NIGHTMARES

$3 tier patrons get:  I WILL HANG FROM THE CEILING AND WATCH YOU SLEEP. THERE WILL BE DRIPPAGE

$5 tier patrons get: THE FULL ON SLEEP PARALYSIS EXPERIENCE. 

I sit by your bed. I grin at you. My eyes are so red. So tiny. They glitter in the dark. I widen my smile. You cannot move. My fingers are inexplicably long. 

I SHALL CRAWL THROUGH YOUR AIR VENTS, RATTLE YOUR WALLS, REPLACE YOUR CAT, HAUNT YOUR FRIDGE, CLOG YOUR DRAIN PIPES, AND USE YOUR RAIN GUTTERS AS A SLIP N SLIDE. NONE OF THOSE ARE PATREON REWARDS, THEY WILL JUST HAPPEN REGARDLESS. THE ONLY TRUE STRIPTEASE INVOLVES REMOVING THE SKIN. THAT’S A MENTAL IMAGE YOU HAVE NOW EXPERIENCED. YOU CAN UNFOLLOW BUT YOU CAN NEVER UNSEE. THE ACTUAL LINK IS www.patreon.com/gaud YOU POOR MISTREATED LUGNUTS. HERE IS AN APPLE IN THE SHAPE OF A TOOTH HAVE A TERRIBLE DAY

[nanfe]

“It’s true, You are stronger, wiser, infinite in experience.” “But I am an apt pupil.”

my twitter: https://twitter.com/NanFe1789

my instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nanfe1789/ 

[jedavu]

Honest Posters of Our Relationship with Technology

Designer Ajit Johnson, living in England, has imagined a series of posters called “#This_Generation”. With honesty, the posters show anecdotes linked to our daily relationship with technology and social networks.

[thelunarboy]

[flimflamflummox-deactivated2021]

No one thinks selfie sticks are cool except tourists and rich white girls at the club.

[ranty-mc-rantface]

Ok, normally I just roll my eyes and scroll past these, but this time I felt the need to comment:

1. Hiding porn on your computer? Wow, previous generations never did anything like that. Nobody ever hid adult magazines under their bed so much that it became a trope in movies. Nah. Never.

2. Online/skype date? Yeah, you can talk face-to-face with the people that matter to you even when you can’t get out to meet them physically, isn’t that amazing?

3. If I was lost and dying out in the wilderness somewhere, and I saw some… I dunno, some outpost that had wifi for some reason, you bet your ass I’d get tf over there and use it to get help/use a map/tell people where I am.

4. Did you know you can read books on your smartphone/tablet AS WELL AS being actively social??

5. I’m pretty sure technology is not to blame for kids getting pregnant/overweight/depressed. Side note, isn’t it great that those kids can use the internet to search for help and advice?

6. In a world where everyone is so much more connected thanks to social media, it’s really useful that you can block people who hurt you and protect yourself. I don’t really see the downside here.

7. It ain’t technology’s fault that some asswipes use their phone while driving. Just let those schoolkids text their parents to tell them when they’re gonna get home in peace.

8. Yeah, selfie sticks aren’t cool. But it IS cool that people can save their memories in pictures and photo albums at the click of a button, without needing to buy cameras and film, get the film developed, and then have big ol’ photo albums sitting around the house everywhere?

9. I swear nobody’s typed like that since 2009. But hey, culture, slang and dialect change with times regardless of whether it’s spoken or typed.

10. You’re right, poster. Happiness is being able to chat to your family and friends no matter the distance. Especially when they’re online and able to respond quickly. That’s nice.

Passive aggressive rant over

[grandtheft-autotune]

[anna-kendrickarchive]

[cozcat]

cedric:

[lizawithazed]

okay I wasn’t going to reblog, but then: Cedric.

[breadknight-likes-things]

"First, He Was Home Alone, Now, He's Lost In New York."

Oh god that turned out grim, thanks a lot Home Alone 2.

[thecraftybear]

"Dirty Harry is at it again".

If I wasn't in such a hurry to be born, it would be "Come to laugh. Come to cry. Come to care. Come to terms."

[fthgurdy]

"The Empire falls."

...right then.

[ferrific]

“Soon the hunt will begin.”

Hmmm.

[lostinhistory]

“How lucky can you get?”

Not very, my friend.

[thatlittleegyptologist]

"He's a man in a savage land....suburbia"

Ahh shit

[duskowithapen]

“He’s cop that’s not. Believe that!”

I’ll believe it, I guess. 

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

“A little pig goes a long way.“ 

My zodiac is the Boar which makes this creepy af.

[lifeismeaningless13]

“Everything is about to change. Difficult times lie ahead, Harry. Dark and difficult times lie ahead.”

Oh boy

[thebootydiaries]

um u “like classical music” but don’t even listen to John Merbecke (c. 1510 – c. 1585), producer of the first musical setting for the English liturgy, who later published The Booke of Common Praier Noted 1549? ok 😂😂👌

[streetlight-streetrat-deactivat]

someone finally said it 😤 😩 🙌

[theperksofbeingadhd-deactivated]

Saying that is saying something akin to “You’re not a real fan unless you can tell me the Coach’s Father’s Grandfather’s middle name and where he was born. Oh, don’t forget the birth date as well. And his Zodiac sign.” If I like classical music, that’s for me to decide. That is for me to proclaim. I’ll be honest, I’ve never even heard of Merbecke. Not ever. I like several Classical composers though. So, that does not make me any less of a fan. Get over your selves.

[thebootydiaries]

[rhombusgirl]

When Harry Met Tom

[jncera]

i know this is a popular headcanon for kanej but i still like thinking out loud about it. i imagine kaz starts to really take to playing with inej’s hair, especially when the darkness relapses and he can’t bring himself to touch her skin. but he still wants to feel close; to feel her, and he knows she needs it too. so those soft straight tresses fall from his hand like water–water wholly different from the strangling cold of his memories, threatening to rise and rise. he inhales. he focuses. the shimmer of gold as it catches the lamplight becomes a lighthouse. the brush in his hands, an oar. and slowly, slowly, with every stroke, with every strand passing through his fingers, he brings himself further and further from the shores of ketterdam, and closer and closer to her. 

he asks inej to teach him how to braid her hair, a skill his nimble card-dealing hands quickly master. and then, just like those magic card tricks he had once obsessed with perfecting, he finds himself studying as many intricate braiding patterns as he can on the tourists, his patrons, and other city residents. he practices every chance he has with string, or rope, and once with the mane of a very patient mare during a stakeout in a countryside barn. 

it was nina who first took notice of the variety of complicated braids that crowned inej’s head and wrapped down her shoulder. it was strange, she thought, that she only saw these designs when they were both visiting ketterdam. whenever the captain of the wraith would disembark in ravka, her hair returned to the simple three-stranded braid. nina makes a mental note to ask inej who her hairdresser in ketterdam is. 

you can imagine her surprise when inej laughs and tells her, oh it’s just kaz. 

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i deleted this ask bc i thought it was a shitpost 

[sirobvious]

What is heavier? A 200 pounds of bricks or 200 pounds of feathers?

The answer is the feathers.

200 pounds of bricks is just a bunch of bricks, but if you try to carry 200 pounds of feathers, you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

[tacoabel]

[shitpost-senpai]

[it4chicore]

Itachi...but with his hair in a bun? *wiggles eyebrows* pls sensei

not even itachi is immune to the plague that is College Exhaustion™

[vvujiarchive]

lwj straight up refusing to make eye contact with jiang cheng is so funny 

[vvujiarchive]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

shout out to btich, who bought me a coffee on ko-fi but also included a morse code message that translates to “please stomp on me daddy.” 

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I appreciate the coffee but frankly it wasn’t enough for forcing me to read that

[arc-gx]

Nobody forced you

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

if someone is nice enough to buy me a coffee, i feel obligated to read & endure enjoy the attached message

that said, some gravity falls type scoundrels are sending me ruinous fucking ciphers which i…could genuinely use some help with

i’m…not looking forward to decoding them. previous messages have included “call me a paperclip, daddy”

[lifeismeaningless13]

someone get MatPat on these