Ordeals I share with ancient Sumerians:
this knife is too dull to chop my onions
rain only comes when you don't want it, not when you need it
where the fuck is my tablet pen, I just put it down

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@lilfluff
Ordeals I share with ancient Sumerians:
this knife is too dull to chop my onions
rain only comes when you don't want it, not when you need it
where the fuck is my tablet pen, I just put it down
Fantasy stories should have more "what do you mean you don't do X" things in compare and contrast of cultures. Like the differences between peoples aren't the stuff they show off as "These Are Our Culture :)" things, fucking everyone has food and music and folk tales, but the things they've always assumed that everyone has, and are baffled to discover that they don't.
The people who are always barefoot are baffled that humans don't have a wash basin at their front door where people can wash their feet before stepping inside?? Do they just walk in with their dirty feet? The fuck do you mean you take your shoes off?
Humans don't have small baby-sized spellbooks for toddlers who just learned to read, so they can safely learn to practice tiny cute and harmless, age-appropriate magic spells before progressing to more mature and demanding spells? What, do they just throw teenagers completely unprepared into the arcane - hold the fuck up, is that why human sorceror mortality is so fucking high?
Dwarves who have always wondered why the entrance to human residences is so fucking big, why do you need to take up such a large area for a door that's just there to lead downstairs to the underground halls? Are the timber walls really as thick as a human is tall? What for? And once one of them gets invited to a human house to stay and rest, nobody ever fucking believes her: That's not the entrance, that's the whole fucking house. 100% of the human house is aboveground, there is no tunnel to the underground levels. They might have a single storage room down there, but the aboveground section is so fucking big because that's the whole house.
This post was brought to you by: People who butter their bread and who had no idea that there are people who put mayonnaise on their bread, and people who put mayo on their bread and had no idea about people who put butter on their bread discovering that the other kind of people exist.
All about rodenticides! Bird Friendly London (www.birdfriendlylondon.ca) hired me to make this comic with a grant from Nature Canada. Rodenticides are harming my local raptors so it's an issue that's close to my heart.
He ain’t have to do that
He did it anyway
alex hirsch going rogue… king shit
From the original thread
I MISSED THE KENTUCKY ONE OMG
(sigh) …Notes. 🤣
How is S&P hired? Do networks look over complaint letters and send job offers to those who send in the most complaints?
Watch: Carl Sagan schooled B.o.B. on his flat Earth theory more than 30 years ago
Follow @the-future-now
🐸☕️
bipch erastosthenes schooled b.o.b. 2,230 years ago
Ok so this is cool but I always wondered how they knew the shadows were different at the same instant. I mean it is not like they had phones. How did they sync up that instant. I feel like that would be interesting to know but no one ever says.
^^^Does anybody know this one? How, that far apart, the time at which the shadows were observed was synced up? I am genuinely curious, not a goddamn moron asking a gotcha question. High/Low tide? (I live in the middle of the country I do not know for the precise habits of tidal activity.) The appearance of a star (or planet) in the sky? Something as utterly mundane as sunrise?
Well, first of all, it wasn’t actually pillars! Eratosthenes was told about a well in Syene that, in the summer solstice every year (June 21st) would be illuminated at the bottom entirely and without any cast shadows. This indicated that the sun was directly overhead. Going off that well known curiosity and an intelligent hunch, our dude Eratosthenes waited until high noon of the summer solstice to measure the angle of a shadow cast by a stick in Alexandria. (Sidenote: Eratosthenes was a librarian of the infamous Library of Alexandria.)
His next course of action was to hire bematists, surveyors of the time whose professional specialty was to measure distance by walking with equal length steps. They measured a distance between Alexandria and Syene of about 5000 stadia. (Guess where the word stadium comes from.) Once he had that measurement, Eratosthenes did his math-y thing, and there you have it.
ANSWER EVEN COOLER THAN I HOPED!!
Eratosthenes’ work was thorough enough that by the time he finished revising his calculations, he ended up only 66 km off of the actual polar circumference of the Earth, or an error margin of 0.16%. [wiki]
Link to article is dead :(
Here’s a fixed link to the article in the original post: [link]
Things they don't tell you about being a first time wheelchair user in highschool
Literally everyone will ask if you broke your leg(s). Everyone. Even people you don’t know. Theyll ask a lot and think you’re extremely fragile.
bruises show up within the first day of rolling around, and they can really suck
people will try to grab your chair if they think you’re struggling and it can be hard not to snap at them for it
static electricity is a huge issue. You will probably either continuously shock your leg when you’re rolling around or do what I did today and zap someone so hard as you pass that both of you nearly keel over
people will call you out as a faker if you do anything even remotely fun ever on your wheelchair. Wheelies? Obviously your legs are fine lol not like you have to go down fucking curbs /s
puddles are the worst and if there’s a curb with a puddle all around and you have some ability to walk its a better idea to just stand up and navigate the chair than to fall backwards into said puddle
weird looks from people are inevitable, especially from people who don’t like you
bus drivers will often push your chair and give you advise you don’t want to hear, even if you tell them nicely you can push yourself. Its really hard not to get mad at them for it
no wheelies in school. Though if you do it in the elevator when no one else is with you you can’t really get caught.
speaking of wheelies, always be ready to throw at least one arm behind you in case you fall. They say tuck your chin in but its easier and more reliable to throw your hands back and keep your neck up so you don’t hit the floor. Sore arms are way easier to put up with than head injuries
don’t even bother to try and roll back up curbs. You will either be there for an hour or fall backwards. I managed to do both.
90% of classrooms that aren’t special ed are not very wheelchair accessible.
people will automatically assume you’re faking something if you’re not considered dumb enough in their standards to fit in with disabled students (aka high class ableism at its finest)
people are going to give you weird looks if you don’t suddenly start sitting with the other disabled kids
standard backpacks usually dangle way too much to keep on you easily, so try to pack light
built in storage on wheelchairs cannot sufficiently carry books
don’t try to hold an umbrella. Period. Especially not with your teeth. It doesn’t work.
don’t try to give the bus driver your ticket while you’re stuck on the ramp. And speaking of, its easy to start falling down the bus ramp so be careful, and when in doubt throw on the breaks
and finally if you’re like me pray to god you don’t go nonverbal when someone is trying to push you and you don’t want them to because it is hard to get them to stop if you can’t speak
able-bodied people can and should 1000% reblog this, some of these things I’ve seen on tips about using a wheelchair but a lot of these weren’t things I’ve seen
Name for Hamburger by U.S County
I run to stop that door!
Make an athletics check
*nat 20*
*sighs* okay so…
nobody speaks indian
maybe you meant
Assamese
Bengali
Bhojpuri
Hindi
Bihari
Kanikkaran
Urdu
Oriya
Sindhi
Maithili
Punjabi
Santali
Kannada
Tamil
Telugu
Marathi
Malayalam
Kashmiri
Ladakhi
Gujarati
Angika
Aariya
Konkani
Rajasthani
Sadri
Surajpuri
Sherpa
Sikkimese
Nepali
Lepcha
Limbu
Nimadi
Mishing
Banjari
Bhil
Bhili
Braj Bhasha
Marwari
Mewari
Bhili
Tai Phake
Tani
Turung
Aruvu
Musasa
Badaga
Irula
Saurashtra
Paniya
Tulu
Allar
Aranadan
Thanjavur Marathi
Toda
Bishnupriya
Chakma
Chittagonian
English
Pali
Rangpuri
Rohingya
Sadri
Sylheti
Hajong
Shö
A'Tong
Bawm
Sak
Kukish
Falam
Garo
Haka
Khumi
Koch
Kokborok
Megam
Meitei Manipuri
Mizo
Mru
Pangkhua
Rakhine
Marma
Riang
Tangchangya
Tippera
Usoi
Khasi
Koda
Mundari
Pnar
Santali
War-Jaintia
Kurukh
Sauria Paharia
Arabic
Aka-Bo
Aka-Cari
Aka-Kede
Aka-Kol
Aka-Kora
Akar-Bale
Oko-Juwoi
A-Pucikwar
Aka-Jeru
Aka-Bea
Önge
Jangil
Nancowry
Camorta
Car
Katchal
YES. Also, this is for all you freaks thinking Hindi and Urdu are the only spoken languages within South Asia. Or that we all, as South Asians, must know Hindi and Urdu.
I want to write a DnD campaign but just play it by myself and DM myself
I have been informed that this is called Writing a Book
Mr. Rogers would have lifted Mjölnir easily.
Mr. Rogers wouldn’t have had to.
Do you see what this is? Yeah. That’s a hammer. Hammers are useful things – they’re tools that help us to build and manufacture goods. Now, this hammer is pretty different than the hammers around your house, that you’d use to drive a nail. It’s more of what we’d call a mallet. Yeah. Those have been used in lots of ways in lots of shops. My friend Robert Trow has several mallets in his shop. Some people used hammers like this to hurt people, in wars. And sometimes kids find hammers like this one, or mallets – maybe even a mallet you would use for croquet – or even regular hammers, and they think it would be fun to hit someone with them. But it’s not – that hurts pretty badly, and can injure or even kill someone. Sometimes people think tools are toys, but they aren’t, are they? This hammer belongs to my friend Thor Odinson. He let me borrow it so I could show it to you. He can use it to make it rain, and even use it to fly through the air. But we can’t do that, can we? Mister Odinson is very special that way. But you know what? You’re just as special as he is, just because you’re you. You see the world differently than anyone else. Even one of the Avengers like Thor. Yeah. And that means you’re just as unique as he is. And if you can’t fly through the air – that’s all right. Thor is my friend – not because of this hammer. That’s just a thing. Thor is my friend because of who he is. Yeah. He doesn’t need this hammer to be special. And because he has it, he’s learned how to use it safely, to help people. Yeah, that’s right. Let’s have some make believe, shall we? Cornflake S. Pecially has a lot of hammers. He’s a man that manufactures. Do you remember that song? <sung> I’m a man! That manufactures! A man! That manufactures chairs! Sure. So maybe… maybe we can make believe that my friend Thor is visiting the Land of Make Believe, and he and Corny are comparing their tools, and talk about what they use them for. And maybe… Lady Elaine would want to know why she doesn’t have a magical hammer that can make it rain. Do you want to do that? Let’s get out our imaginary telescope and have a look at the Neighborhood… of Make Believe….
Slime mold was grown on an agar gel plate shaped like America and food sources were placed where America’s large cities are.
The result? A possible look at how to best build public transportation.
I just really like the idea of slime mold on a map of the US. It’s beautiful.
I’m—
holy shit
I have a raging science ladyboner right now.
I’d love if we could do it on a state-by-state basis.
That same slime mold once affirmed that the Tokyo subway is pretty well-designed.
Using slime molds as a calculator.
Using slime molds as a calculator.
Using slime molds as a calculator.
Natural computation: it’s a thing, and it’s awesome. What is the universe but a really, really complicated computer?
I love this.
This is what I keep saying. A nationwide railway system would create hundreds of thousands of jobs and would save millions of dollars, especially if it was electric.
Take a page out of Japan’s book and employ a bullet train system.
Two thoughts: Natural computation is amazing and I love it.
And I also love the *concept* of a super-efficiently built transit system, and yeah, if the US was fully wide-open spaces still that might be an option. The problem is, once you get to the coasts, we are so built up that there’s nowhere to PUT train lines. Imagine someone comes by and tells you and all your neighbors, yeah, we wanna build a train line here because it’s the most efficient path as established by slime mold, so better find a new place to live.
Sometimes this is handled by buying people out, but that gets REALLY expensive, really fast.
I jus think our infrastructure is past the point where this kind of thing is practical.
ok, but like–who cares about the coasts? before the hate starts, lemme be clear: i’ve lived on both coasts, and in the midwest, and i do not actually hate any of these places. so hear me out. much of the coastal us, and certainly the more built-up parts, *have* public transit of some sort. it’s not amazing, sure, but it, you know, mostly works! so who cares about them, in this one specific example? let’s give the center of the country a super-efficient and fast transit line, and just make sure that it hooks, at various points, into the outermost station for the mbta, for bart, for the metro. it doesn’t have to fully integrate them, it literally just has to *touch* a handful of these outermost stations, and then you’ve opened up basically the whole damn country. hell, even if it *doesn’t* hook in, it could totally change the landscape of the midwest–a direct bullet train could do cleveland to chicago in an hour. kansas city to chicago takes like two hours. kansas city to salt lake city is three. it means that smaller cities suddenly have way more access to–almost literally everything. it would be amazing, and a huge boon, both economically and culturally, to the whole area.
Does this account for topography?
Just to expand on this post about calling 911 and asking for a pizza to secretly ask for help:
The post is based on a Super Bowl commercial, which itself was based on a Reddit post that’s never been verified as true.
There is no actual pizza code with toppings and shit that dispatchers are trained in. If you come across someone who has heard of the commercial, they might understand. If you come across someone who’s never heard of it, they might think it’s a prank call and hang up on you.
A piece of actual advice to help you in this situation is to dial 911, then hang up without speaking, then turn the phone off. 911 will attempt to call you back, and when they’re unable to reach you, they’ll dispatch a unit to your location under the assumption that you need help and your call was interrupted. This will work 100% of the time, whereas the pizza trick will only work if the dispatcher has heard of the commercial/urban legend.
Also, the toppings thing was a complete and total fabrication and whoever wrote that should be ashamed of themselves, tbh.
It’s possible that the toppings thing was something that a clever dispatcher thought of on the spot, but it’s certainly not some standard code.
Write-up at Snopes.com. Status: Legend, not fact
@deathtodickens this is your professional field, correct?
Yes, I am a 911 dispatcher and this is not great advice at all. It will not work 100% of the time. It probably won’t even work 10% of the time.
(1) Every agency handles 911 hang up calls from cellular phones differently and because we receive thousands of them every month, we do not always respond to them. My agency, for instance, does not respond to 911 hang up calls from cellular phones with no disturbances heard. We call back twice and if there is no answer, we leave a message and we put in advised calls. WE DO NOT RESPOND. We are not a large agency and I can almost guarantee you that larger cities probably have a similar policy.
(2) Even if we hear a disturbance, there is no guarantee that we know where you are. Never believe that your GPS information is readily available to dispatchers - this isn’t CSI - it’s not that easy. Sometimes all we get is a very generic location (usually more than a 1000 meter radius of the cell phone tower your phone pinged off of). We can ping phones but that doesn’t always work ESPECIALLY IF YOUR PHONE IS TURNED OFF. Some cell phone companies do not provide historical location data. Many will not give us information if there is no obvious sign of an emergency. At most, they might have your subscriber information and hopefully you keeps yours up-to-date.
(3) If you’ve called 911 before or had police respond to your residence before, there’s a chance we can look in our own CAD systems and find your location based on prior calls. But, like I said, we won’t do that if there’s no obvious signs of an emergency. Also, A LOT of domestic violence victims have non-working phones with no actual cell service attached that still have the ability to dial 911. In those cases, we don’t get an actual phone number on our screens. We only receive a generic 911-area code that can’t be called back or traced and 80% of the time, they don’t have good location data.
(4) Any time you call 911 - START WITH YOUR LOCATION/ADDRESS and LISTEN to the dispatcher. If you want us to come to you and FIND you, we need to know where you are. Agencies are more likely to respond to you if you call 911 and say your address and hang up than if you say absolutely nothing at all, hang up, and turn off your phone. I cannot even stress to you how appalled I am at this advice.
PLEASE do not do that.
(5) We trust our guts more than we trust your voiceless 911 hang up call. We talk to domestic violence victims every day, some days every hour. We know when something is wrong. If someone calls in on 911 and starts insistently ordering a pizza (yes, it has happened), rambling on as if speaking to a friend, or barely talking at all, we’re not just going to hang up on you. We’re going to start asking yes or no questions because we answer thousands of 911 calls and we know when something sounds suspicious. We know when something sounds very wrong. We know when you’re in a tight spot and you can’t say more than what you’re giving us.
(6) I obviously cannot speak for every center and every dispatcher. There are bad batches everywhere. I know because I’m the one who has to write them up when they fail to do their jobs or see the urgency/importance of the jobs that they are doing. So will this always work? No. Nothing about calling 911 will always work. It will never be 100%. Law enforcement agencies are underfunded, our equipment/tech is miles below subpar to what you see on TV. Cellular phone companies don’t make it any easier for us and guess what - that little section of your phone bill that says “911 tax”? That money doesn’t come to us.
So no, it’s not always going to work but I can guarantee you that what I've written here will work better than calling 911, hanging up without saying anything, and turning off your phone.
There is no universal 911 policy.
Every agency is different.
For the love of God please do not tell victims of abuse to call in voiceless 911 hang ups. If you can stay on the phone, stay on the phone. If you can leave an open line, leave the phone on and put it somewhere close. If you have a home VOIP phone, keep your address updated if you move. If you have a cell phone, keep your subscriber information current.
And the absolute safest way to call 911 and pretty much guarantee that we’ll know where you are and respond, is by calling from an old-fashioned landline or payphone.
this is in my history book about prohibition in the 1920s and i’m laughing so hard oh my gooooood
I would like to believe that the Human response to some like, edgy Asari or Turian tableware on like the citadel was to cart really fucking impractical glassware from The Days Of Yore [now] all the way there and use them with a straight face.
Because we have all seen the Gatorade looking containers we had on the Normandy, and the vaguely vase looking things that were also used to pour things in bars. I imagine after first contact people were feeling a bit shown up.
So just show up and whip out one of these pieces by Etienne Meneau or something like them
drinking some like fucking water or something out of them at meetings.
“What.. i’m sorry, but are those vein shaped bottles” “No, my dear ambassador, they’re tree roots actually. I can see the confusion” There’s an ambassador that exclusively drinks blue kool-aid and locks eyes with the Turian ambassador the whole time. There have been fights.
I do mean drinking out of them. Not pouring the liquid into glasses and sipping/drinking like civilized beings.
Nope, they swig and chug it back like the animals we are, humanity
Making earth proud
one belch inducing dice roll of a bottle tip at a time
Considering how popular those ‘what if humans were the weird ones?’ posts about first contact are, I am 100% certain that a not-insignificant portion of our species would just be like ‘no WAY are we letting these chumps out-weird us get me the most bizarre tableware you can find’.