Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov wedding announcement on socials and the top comment under it is "Hollzy up and done it. He married hockey. Truly the most dedicated player."
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@lilies4jane
Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov wedding announcement on socials and the top comment under it is "Hollzy up and done it. He married hockey. Truly the most dedicated player."
There is a kid out there who did every single one of his school essays and projects and short stories and friendly introductions at the beginning of the year about Shane Hollander. He did his book reports on the books Shane recommended in interviews. He saved his money to buy that stupid cologne Shane advertised. He got a puck from Shane once at warm ups and he slept with it in his bed for three weeks. He writes his moms name on his stick tape because Shane did it first. He watches the Olympics in awe. He gets into fights with kids at school about whose a better hockey player and its Shane all the way, no matter what the other kids told him or what their moms and dads said. Shane is the best.
And this kid did not have a lot of friends. His teachers thought he wasn't very smart because he made everything about hockey. And they dismissed him when he struggled with math and reading. "if you could just put some of your hockey energy into school, then maybe you would get better." His classmates laughed at the hockey themed valentines day cards him and his mom had to hand make because nowhere was selling hockey themed valentines day cards. And they laugh at him when he repeats the same thing over and over about "getting pucks deep, pucks deep, pucks deep." When he would play all by himself on the yard pretending he was skating, picking up any big stick he could find on the ground, they'd push him around. "Can we play? We'll be defenders" and ram him and take his stick. And he'd just go through all the penalties they would have just gotten over and over again until he can calm down. He celebrated every birthday at the ice rink in his full hockey gear even though he didn't really have classmates showing up. Not for lack of invite.
And his parents try to steer him away from it. They try and watch new sports, they try and get him to watch kids shows, get into things kids his age like, but all he wants to do is watch reruns of the metros cup wins. Wants to wear his hat backwards with his black shirt because that's how Shane looks in the interviews. Memorizes the answers he gives in french even though this kid never learned french in school. And its useless. This kid is hooked and they just kinda have to ride this wave.
So when the announcement comes for the Game Changers camp, these parents do absolutely everything to get him there. They don't care what it takes, this is like a light for all of them really in the midst of all the bullying at school and the meltdowns at home and the obsessive routines that fall apart if even one thing is out of place.
And they explain to the camp that their boy might have a hard time. Might need some time to adjust. That he struggles with math, and reading, and can get caught up in all the rules sometimes. Preemptively trying to say "he's not a bad kid. he's trying his best."
So at the end of the first day, his parents are prepared for a meltdown. Its new, its a lot of kids, the rink can get loud and cold, and he doesn't always do well with transitioning out of hockey. He's hard to pull off the ice at home.
And they can see some upset under the surface when they arrive. He clearly doesn't want to go home. Thats no surprise.
What is a surprise is the way Shane gets down on one knee next to where the boy is sitting upset on the ground. He doesn't move to touch him. He just gets down and the two of them softly have a chat. The boy is tugging on his hair and nodding at what Shane says. And eventually he stands and the parents walk over to them.
"You must be the parents. Its good to meet you," Shane says softly. "I was just going over some things about tomorrow. So that way he would know the schedule."
And they can see their son isn't quite happy, still clearly exhausted. He'll nap in the car and be grumpy at dinner. But he is much more regulated than they expected him to be.
"And, I was telling him about my schedule when I go home. About getting some quite time, making sure I can decompress. I think that's what all good hockey players need, right buddy?"
"Right buddy," he repeats.
And for all the understanding that seems to be there, his parents are just grateful that of all the things their kid could have a special interest in, its Shane Hollander.
counter-argument to the fact that just because shane's really good doesn't mean hayden is....... that's simply not how linemates on teams with several stanleys work 😭😭😭😭😭
"just because shane's crosby doesn't mean hayden is malkin" (which. he's alternate captain and shane's best friend, it kind of does) ok sure. do you think the other guy(s) regularly playing on crosby's line are bad????? hello??????
and before anyway says "rr said shane's not based on crosby!", this is applicable to most NHL players that are as good as shane's depicted to be + hockey's a real life sport so the extrapolation would still be applicable regardless
a hollanov video goes viral and it’s filmed by a pedestrian where shane was carrying two grocery bags while ilya walked behind him trying to grab one of the bags but shane kept moving it out of his grasp and they appeared to have a very heated argument. and then suddenly shane moved one bag to the other hand and grabbed ilya’s hand and dragged him along. they appeared to still be arguing but ilya had stopped trying to steal one of the grocery bags.
anyway the internet was cackling tf up and calling ilya shane’s princess and making memes about his grabby hands. ilya’s pouting to shane about it, who kisses his pout and says, “well everyone knows you have a husband who spoils you and takes care of you, is that so bad?” and ilya begrudgingly says “no, it is not.” “okay then.”
toddler shane refusing to talk after his hockey team lose a game. yuna & david are trying to be encouraging like “bud!! you played so good!!” and shane is ignoring them while climbing into his car seat where he’s going to angrily drink his juice box and then chew on the straw.
He’s had a rough day…
Maybe Jackie Pike is exactly where she wants to be have any of you stopped and thought about it before you make her the victim™️
i simply think insisting that jackie pike is miserable despite there being no canonical evidence to support this theory besides the fact that she had four kids quickly and has a husband who travels a lot for work is just yall projecting your disdain for mothering & women who choose to have big families onto her
give jackie pike back her agency pleaseeeee she’s a grown woman who chose to have four kids in close pregnancies. headcanon her however yall want but im begging you to maybe just examine WHY you’re insisting on painting her as the beleaguered, dissatisfied wife
jackie pike is not a repressed 1950s housewife there is no woman in the yellow wallpaper here!!!! she is not spending her days doing housework and wrangling her kids!!!! they definitely have nannies and other househelp!!! she doesn't have to be involved in any parenting she doesn't want to be involved in.... there are reasons why the wag lifestyle (blegh) is a coveted one ... no ilya does not need to come save her and take her clubbing girl she's literally fine she can go by herself!!!!
Headcannon that since Hayden is so good looking and charming that after he retires he gets commentary job on one of the national broadcasts. He loves to piss Ilya off by saying nice things about him and calling them “good friends”.
Jackie, Shane and Hayden have a gc with a dumb name that is used as the main communication channel for mundane activities and reminders
best pike: can you pick up some orange juice when ur back from ur run?? ruby decided that water was too watery for her
unofficial pike: yeah ofc, I'll get with pulp and without
best pike: you are a godsend hayd is lucky I didn't find u first
og pike: what did I do????
best pike: you forgot to wash the dishes last night
best pike: and shane is my favorite
og pike: should I be offended?
best pike: why?? he's your favourite too
unofficial pike: I'm not even part of this family
unofficial pike: don't involve me in your marital spats
og pike: lmao
best pike: me when I lie
best pike: not a part of this family my ass
og pike: when are you getting home?
unofficial pike: I'm checking out now
unofficial pike: also I HAVE to go to my actual house tonight, I haven't set foot in my apartment in like 3 days
best pike: I keep telling u you should just move in already
unofficial pike: you just want free childcare
best pike: the kids love you and I need a break :((
unofficial pike: also I already spend too much time with hayd, if I have to deal with him all week too I'll rip out my eyeballs
og pike: hey??
best pike: fair
og pike: HEY :(
I love the idea of Shane’s chirps just being observations.
It started when he was a kid and he was trying to help everyone get better at hockey including the opposing teams players, he would say something like “your stick grip is weak” or “you’re slow on your right” (idk i don’t know hockey very well ESPECIALLY little kid hockey) but he says it totally deadpan because little Shanebug doesn’t understand tone yet.
This makes the other teams so mad! They try and fight him constantly! Little bitty baby hockey fights and then Yuna sits him down in middle school after the first fight that he actually gets hurt (black eye and bloody lip) and asks him what he is saying to make everyone fight him?
“Nothing mean I swear mom!!! I’m trying to be nice and help correct their form”
And suddenly Yuna gets it and explains to Shane that not everyone but especially not the opposing team likes to have their flaws pointed out to them even if it’s coming from a good place and how that could be seen as chirping.
So he stops for a while, then his coach for world juniors tells him to try and piss off Rozanov enough that they can draw a penalty. So Shane does what he does best and points out a flaw at each face off. Jokes on him though because Ilya is actively changing those things and getting better every face off because he is taking it for what it is, advice.
Which pisses Shane off, he thinks his chirping tactic won’t work now that he is older. So he points out at his first scrimmage at practice in Montreal that the center who has been there for years (who he is probably replacing) is favoring his left side is staying too far left to compensate (again I don’t know hockey so I am trying to translate things I know about soccer lol)
And the center loses it on him! Immediately yelling about the lack of respect and how a rookie makes it to the MLH and thinks they are hot shit.
So Shane realizes his chirping DOES work just not on rozanov and becomes a menace he studies game tape specifically to find holes in his opponents game and pre prepares chirps and it fucking works because all these men are so far up their own asses that they just get mad instead of using the advice.
Idk I just needed Shane Chirping but in a very Shane way. Like he really just wants to play hockey but chirping is part of hockey so he studies chirping but doesn’t want to do any of the “classic” chirps (your mom! Your wife! Your girlfriend! You’re gay! Type of stuff) so he invents his own chirps out of his amazing mind
Baby Shane playing imaginary hockey and then pausing to give imaginary press interviews where he just says things like "gotta put pucks in the net" in his tiny little 7 year old voice.
Shane and Ilya’s daughter has to do a family tree project in class. They’ve done a great job at emphasizing to her that parents can be any two people that love each other and she understands that other kids might not know that. The rest of the project will be pretty straight forward - Shane doesn’t have any siblings and their daughter doesn’t know much about Ilya’s family at this age besides that papa has a mama that watches over them and that loves her very much. Shane is still nervous about it and having a Very Normal Shane Reaction wondering if she will feel left out for not having a mom and feeling sad that she will never know her papas family and wondering if she is lonely and if they should have another kid. When they get an email from the school asking them to come in at pickup to discuss her family tree Ilya is already angry and ready to pick a fight with whatever stupid kid is bullying their daughter for having two dads. They walk into the classroom and their daughter is standing with her arms crossed insisting that there is nothing wrong with her project and when the teacher slides it across the table they see something so bizarre that they don’t know where to start. She’s drawn on only one side of the tree - Ilya and Shane both stemming from Yuna and David. Next to them are about ten stick figures of different sizes all with hearts around them. While they’re trying to decipher what on earth she has drawn she starts presenting it with her little finger saying “see? Dad is grandma Yuna and grandpa David’s son and Papa is grandma Yuna and grandpa David’s son, too.” And then she moves her finger along with “and that’s uncle Hayden, uncle Troy and uncle Harris, uncle Evan, uncle Luca….” And as she’s naming every stick figure Shane is trying to figure out how he’s going to explain to her teacher that he is not married to one of his 10 brothers when he is actually an only child and Ilya has to turn away because he’s crying at the reminder that the family that adopted him adopted her as well and there has never been a child that has been so loved
my most controversial opinion yet is that if shane is underreacting or being a bad bf by "letting hayden treat ilya badly" then ilya is just as bad
mind you, ilya's canonical best friend is an explicit, known bigot who actively made players like shane feel unsafe (idc if he's gay, he was exactly the kind of guy shane was afraid of pre-coming out + by context and social circle was 1000% racist, reid just dgaf about poc)
disclaimer: i believe in redemption, but even if troy changes, as someone who's been in shane's shoes my partner being friends with them so openly without any personal apology or consideration would crush me
the reality is y'all just don't care so at least don't argue "ilya would never let his friends treat shane like that" because his best friend did (he wasn't there to stop it but he befriended him after the fact which imo is worse)
I really hate it when Ilya acts like a jealous man-child to Rose. It's one thing to tell Shane he's not comfortable with him being friends with his ex, or at least that Ilya himself would prefer not to interact with Rose. It's another for him act like she's the Other Woman angling to steal Shane back. These social media fics where he's openly rude to Rose and insults her and anyone who likes her unprovoked give me the ick.
Men being tantrum throwing toddlers who can't keep a civil tongue in their heads when talking to women are not cute sorry. Especially the ones who've made being an asshole their entire brand.
this might be the most controversial thing i’ve ever fucking said but i love hayden pike, and one of the reasons for that is because i’ve BEEN in shane’s position before with my best friend being hayden. we’ve been friends for 10 years, he outed me twice (both by accident) and we still live together. sometimes its way fucking worse from an outsiders perspective. and this might just be me, but it’s not that bad.
im talking book hayden here, we haven’t gotten much from show hayden so i’m not speaking about him. we’ll probably get something closer to show svetlana to expand his character.
hayden isn’t this fucking monster that some of y’all make him out to be. is he the perfect ally? no. but he’s the only person who’s actually had shane’s back in the books. okay so he hates ilya at first, but that’s because when you only know someone’s surface level that’s the ONLY opinion you’re going to get. building a friendship takes time, and in the long game we see that hayden and ilya’s friendship grows. they do spend time together, hayden trusts ilya with his kids. he lets ilya carry his wife when she’s hurt. the banter they have isn’t malicious in the same way it was when they started. their friendship just looks different.
and yall gotta remember that environment is a huge factor here. shane is notoriously a “bad gay”. they spend their entire lives with locker room culture and not being exposed to queer culture, what language to use, etc. arguably they’re ALL ignorant because they don’t know. they’re all fumbling around and trying to do what’s right but also fighting back against what they’ve been taught and surrounded with their entire lives.
and you might say “oh well they can google things, the internet is free”. yeah it is, but also they’re all the types who don’t explore outside of what’s in their daily lives. if they don’t see it, it doesn’t exist. a LOT of people are like this.
this isn’t even a stab in the dark, most of us are the opposite personality types to these millionaire athletes. we do care about things that go on around us, and a lot of online culture is queer. sometimes we project onto characters and assume that they’re like us. fiction or not hayden isn’t a bad person.
it’s so subtle but hayden is a character who grows. and growing takes TIME. i can guarantee hayden will show up more in unrivaled and we’ll probably see more growth from his character there as well.
anyway that was my rant. if yall come at me with death threats again im blocking you.
I saw a post about Shane and Ilya being sad that they can't thank each other in their acceptance speeches like other can with their spouses and it got me thinking:
Ilya wins his first awards and hes got nobody he really wants to thank after his team and coach cause he he hates his family but he knows his speech is too short so on impulse he goes "And I want to thank Shane Hollander for being slightly worse than me this season". Everyone knows it was going to one of those two, so everyone thinks hes an asshole to say that but whats new so it works for him. But from then on it then becomes a bit for both of them to thank each other in their speeches in a snide way as a reason they won.
Shane winning the Art Ross Trophy (Awarded to the player who leads the league in total points at the end of the regular season). and going "special thanks to Rozanov for missing at least 5 shots this season, he was a huge help"
Ilya winning the Conn Smythe Trophy (Awarded to the most valuable player for his team in the playoffs.) "Just want to give a quick shout out to Hollander for getting knocked out in the second round this season. Must hate to see me up here."
They find a way to mention the other in their speeches every time all the time.
and every time, they sit in their seats like