...ssh...listen....

The sighing through the trees. Listen. Listen.

[parakeet]

Give a man a leaf and he will eat it. Teach a man to leaf and he will go away

[marzipanandminutiae]

posts that could have also been in a newspaper in 1910 on a slow day

[mysticdragon3md3]

[chevaliest]

Her YouTube is Olurinatti. She actually has many channels for different kinds of commentary and research!

Olurinatti

A Webby-nominated mix of culture, commentary, and critical thought from lawyer and creator Olayemi “Olay” Olurin.

[listen-to-the-trees]

I have decided to cut my GPS a little slack (a little) for its choices when it comes to naming highways. Because the rules we use for how to read numbers roads aloud are… complex.

As an example, when people around me refer to the following roads, we say:

2001 - “two thousand one”

201 - “two oh one”

21 - “twenty-one”

1327 - “thirteen twenty-seven”

620 - “six twenty”

967 - “nine sixty-seven”

1604 - “sixteen oh four”

[listen-to-the-trees]

One thing they never warn you about growing up: the number of products from your childhood that get discontinued.

I could probably name five different foods off the top of my head that I love that I will never eat again, because those companies stopped making them.

[ao3org]

Trust & Safety Phishing Comments

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[polizwrites]

Just got one of these this morning - be aware!

[captain-ghost]

RIP Captain Jack Harkness you would have loved - oh nvm he's back lol

[rederiswrites]

Just watched Adam Conover (of Adam Ruins Everything) make such a solid point that I think we should spread far and wide. Yes, having AI write your emails is lazy, sure, but people love being lazy. We need to really emphasize that sending AI emails (or using AI responses on social media, or publishing AI flyers, or or or) is rude.

It's rude. You're making someone take their time to read something you couldn't bother to write. You're telling them they were so unimportant you couldn't be bothered to actually take the time to say something yourself. And frankly, you're lying about it while you're at it.

It's rude.

[katsdom]

The above is doubly true if the content of the email is something that will be important to the person receiving - especially something that affects them negatively. They see that this thing that affected them so much didn't matter enough to you to write it yourself. I was a bystander to such a thing not long ago and it was just awful.

[fthgurdy]

RUDE!!! that is so very much it.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

If I may offer the lecturer's perspective on this idea:

Currently, it's marking season for us in the UK. I have an exam board in four hours, in fact, which is where we all go over every profile of every student on our courses, see what results they've achieved, and work out their "decision" - if all is well, the decision is to let them continue the course, or the final degree grade calculated if they're in final year. If it hasn't gone well, the decision is about whether they get to rework the pieces that failed, resit exams, repeat the whole year, or be required to withdraw.

And, as has been the case for the last two years, the profiles are now littered with plagiarism investigations. Every one of those - every single one - will have come in as an assignment that the lecturer received, and started reading, and then with a sinking feeling thought "This isn't your work." Every one had to go to an academic misconduct hearing. Every one is an enormous draw on time and resources, including the emotional reserves of the lecturer.

And I know that's not the main issue! I know in the grand scheme of things, our feelings aren't the most important part of this equation! But as we're talking about rudeness, let me explain:

Firstly, the work itself. You begin reading, you see it's AI. Contractually, we have to read it anyway, and give feedback on why it's shit, and what makes it bad, and that is absolutely fucking soul destroying. Most students who use AI are doing so because they've managed to train their brains to find reading something boring abhorrent, and they want to skip that part; but a ChatGPT-generated report is bland, vague, and utterly devoid of any passion, insight or personality. In short, it's boring. You simply passed your boredom on to us.

Secondly, regardless of your personal feelings about the assignment, it at least had a purpose. It was there to stretch you, and make you think about the topic so you could learn about it, and to test that learning so we can all make sure you have actually learned what you need to. But the slop you handed in, that I now have to mark? What's the point? Literally what is the fucking point of me marking it? You didn't even write it. None of the feedback I'm obligated to give means anything to you. I'm marking ChatGPT, and it can't read.

Which means, not only is it fucking boring, it's actively pointless. Ask anyone in the world what a boring but pointless obligatory task does to your mood. Imagine that.

Thirdly, the misconduct hearing. Because listen, again, the lecturer's feelings here are, once again, not the main point. Students who cheat like this aren't doing so because life is hunky dory. They're stressed and overwhelmed and struggling, and they think they've found a magic way out, and so being pulled into a misconduct hearing - where the best they can hope for is to have to redo the whole piece for a capped mark, on top of all the rest of the work they have (functionally, a bonus assignment), and the worst is expulsion - is a mental breakdown-inducing experience. That, obviously, is the biggest issue.

But, the lecturers know all that, which means we know what we're triggering if we do report it. I cannot tell you how upsetting it is to receive a slop assignment, realise what it is, and then have to make the call to report it. I know damn well how upsetting that's going to be for you. I know how stressful and painful that's going to be. I know this might mean you're going to be thrown out of university. In some cases, I know it means you will be.

I know I could look the other way to spare you that

And oh, that gets tempting. When things are really bad for you, and I see you struggling, and this is your third strike; fuck me but it's tempting to pretend that I can't tell.

I cannot do that.

Which brings me to number four: the soul-bleachingly fucking horrible ordeal that is the misconduct hearing itself. Most people are non-confrontational; I'm no exception. I also simply do not enjoy a sobbing, panicking student sitting in front of me, telling me about how stressed and scared they are and how they're terrified they're going to fail. But that's how these things go.

Our most recent example is an international Masters student. I don't know the particulars for him; but I do know it's not uncommon in his part of the world for families to go into obscene debt, often to loan sharks, to send their kids to UK universities. Failure means more than just academia for him. Having to sit through him turning white and quietly begging us to give him another chance before he left in tears he tried to hide from us was, obviously, much worse for him than us; but it was honestly traumatic. Even now, two weeks later, I can't get it out of my head. There's nothing we can do; but, I feel guilty anyway. I could have looked the other way.

(It wouldn't have passed anyway. It was terrible. But at least he'd probably be allowed a resit - we're still waiting on the outcome of this one, but he may well be withdrawn)

To bring this back to the point of the post:

I know my feelings aren't really the ones that matter here. I do know that. But, every time a student chooses to use AI to write an assignment, all that is what happens behind the scenes. My job nosedives into being shit. Whether it's reading the boring slop, having to write pointless feedback, or making the upsetting decisions to report it when I know what the consequences will be and then having to deal with the guilt, my job that I love suddenly becomes shit. And that, actually, among the many other things it is, is fucking rude.

[gothhabiba]

see this is exactly what I'm talking about. this labour is so incredibly invisibilised that there are real human beings, walking about amongst us, leading normal lives, etc., who earnestly believe that machines can make an item of clothing from start to finish.

[rowanrightalong]

Hey just in case someone on here doesn’t quite understand how labor intensive making a garment is, here is a list of things that (to the best of my knowledge) cannot be done by machine alone, from a costumer/tailor in training

Cutting - in my opinion, the most labor intensive part of the process. The amount of time/effort needed varies depending on the pattern and if seam allowance is included or marked separately, but no matter what this process can not be done by machine. Each and every panel and piece of fabric that goes into a garment must be cut by hand by a person.

Pinning/clipping - pinning (or clipping) is the stage at which you align the pieces you are going to be stitching together and hold them together with — you guessed it! — either pins or clips. This can not be done by machine.

Stitching - the actual sewing. This can be done by a sewing machine, but that machine still needs to be operated by a human being.

Ironing/pressing - two words that mean the same thing. The iron itself is a machine, but once again, it needs to be operated by a human being.

Finishing - depending on the technique you use, there are certain finishing techniques that can only be done by hand. But, let’s assume we’re talking about fast fashion, which is usually just finished with a simple overlock/serger. Once again: these machines need to be operated by people.

These are just the basic steps to making a garment, and don’t include textile arts that I am not as knowledgeable about, such as weaving, knitting, and crochet. Also, it is important to note that there are a lot of things that can only be done by hand, such as certain stitches and decorative techniques.

Also, the machinery being operated in textile factories is not equivalent to a domestic sewing machine. We’re talking about one of these guys:

See that gray cylinder under the table, behind the knee pedal? That’s the motor. These machines can sew through your fingers bones and all and not even stop. The people in these factories and sweatshops are operating heavy machinery, and are subject to all the risk that comes with that in addition to all of the work I mentioned above.

Please respect textile workers and continue the fight to eliminate the use of sweatshops and exploited labor in the fashion industry!

[frownyalfred]

Tips for writing those gala scenes, from someone who goes to them occasionally:

Generally you unbutton and re-button a suit coat when you sit down and stand up.

You’re supposed to hold wine or champagne glasses by the stem to avoid warming up the liquid inside. A character out of their depth might hold the glass around the sides instead.

When rich/important people forget your name and they’re drunk, they usually just tell you that they don’t remember or completely skip over any opportunity to use your name so they don’t look silly.

A good way to indicate you don’t want to shake someone’s hand at an event is to hold a drink in your right hand (and if you’re a woman, a purse in the other so you definitely can’t shift the glass to another hand and then shake)

Americans who still kiss cheeks as a welcome generally don’t press lips to cheeks, it’s more of a touch of cheek to cheek or even a hover (these days, mostly to avoid smudging a woman’s makeup)

The distinctions between dress codes (black tie, cocktail, etc) are very intricate but obvious to those who know how to look. If you wear a short skirt to a black tie event for example, people would clock that instantly even if the dress itself was very formal. Same thing goes for certain articles of men’s clothing.

Open bars / cash bars at events usually carry limited options. They’re meant to serve lots of people very quickly, so nobody is getting a cosmo or a Manhattan etc.

Members of the press generally aren’t allowed to freely circulate at nicer galas/events without a very good reason. When they do, they need to identify themselves before talking with someone.

[panakina]

As someone who spent over a decade catering luxury events, let me add some back of house info:

These events are almost always open bar. They're not trying to make their money back on alcohol. They want you to drink and eat and donate generously.

If there are cocktails, there will be at most two on offer, pre-made in large tubs. You cannot order a different version, it is what it is.

There are two types of events: cocktail style or seated. The first includes roaming hors d'oeuvres or a fancy buffet with tiny plates called a grazing station. For a long night, the roaming food will get a little bigger throughout the evening and have a 'main' at some point based around a protein.

A seated event will usually be more structured and may include multiple courses. Silver service is not in vogue anymore. You are likely to get either alternating meals brought to you like at a wedding, or served banquet style. A good caterer can get a plate to everyone in a 300 person event in about three minutes.

Drunk people are the same no matter how expensive their suits. They still laugh too loud, spill their drinks and slip on the dance floor. They are usually less embarrassed about doing coke in the bathrooms.

A full scale event that starts at 6pm will have staff arriving at noon to begin setup. Earlier if there's a light show or pyrotechnics. Typically venues don't just have 30 tables and three hundred chairs lying around, let alone table cloths, chair covers, etc. It's all rented and brought in on the day. Bands and DJs will be running audio tests in the background throughout.

Most heritage buildings that host these things, like museums and manor houses, aren't really designed for them. They might put down mats so you're not walking in stilettos over two hundred year old wooden floors, the kitchens are weirdly far away, and there are not enough taps. There is never anywhere for staff to sit, so if you open the wrong door you might find half a dozen waiters sitting on upturned milk crates in a room full of million dollar paintings, eating the left over bread.

Really old buildings don't have enough bathrooms, which means the staff will be sharing with the guests.

Clean up starts the second the event ends, if not sooner. Unattended glasses will start to disappear first, then table decorations. When the timer ticks over, the lights come back on and exhausted staff strip the tables, pack up dirty glasses and unopened wine bottles and have to Tetris it all into the back of a van. The venue is booked for that day only, so everything has to be gone before anyone can go home. A large event that finishes at midnight might take until 3am to be cleared away.

These are very long and physically demanding nights for anyone working them. The staff all get to know each other, and will absolutely notice someone trying to sneak in wearing a borrowed uniform. They are not being paid enough to care.

[no-passaran]

Despite many people denying its existence, the truth is that researchers and activists have independently found asexuality many times. It hasn't been until recently that it has started to become a somewhat known word, so most of the time these writers weren't getting it from each other. It's not like us knowing what a unicorn is, not because we've ever encountered one in real life, but because we've heard other people talk of them; no, people looking at dissident sexuality were encountering asexuals again and again.

In 1869, the journalist Karl-Maria Kertbeny coined the terms "heterosexual" and "homosexual", giving them pretty much the meaning we all know today. But few people know he also included the category "monosexual", meaning someone who doesn't want to have sex with people of either gender, only masturbation.

The sexologist Magnus Hirschfield is another figure that always comes up in the history of early LGBTQ rights advocacy. He, too, wrote about people who don't feel sexual attraction (he used the term "sexual anaesthesia") in a pamphlet in 1872.

Same with Emma Throsse, the first known woman to write scientifically about lesbianism. She's most known for her 1895 publication defending the rights of homosexual people and in particular for her writings about lesbians, but she also wrote about "asensuals". Not only that, but she goes on to mention that "the author confesses to this category", meaning that she is asensual herself. (But even now, when looking for her Wikipedia page, it only mentions that she wrote about homosexuality).

In 1897, the sexologist Christiane Leidinger made the first modern definition of "asexuality".

In 1907, the activist Carl Schlegel published a document demanding "the same laws for all intermediate parts of sexual life: homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, asexual, be legal now as they are for heterosexuals".

When the biologist and sexologist Alfred Kinsey (known as "the father of the sexual revolution") made the Kinsey scale to describe people's position in the Homosexual-Heterosexual scale (with various degrees of bisexuality), he also had to create the "Category X" for people who did not have any response that could be described as sexual attraction, because his experiments with both men and women were finding people who only fit this Category X.

And these are just a few examples. Contrary to what bigoted people say, asexuality was not "invented on the internet" and it's not a recent "trend". It's always been part of humanity, same way as it's also part of other animal species. The reason why you hadn't heard about it before is because it's invisibilized for going against the heteronormative and sex-normative moralistic views, not because it wasn't there.

[clonerightsagenda]

I think this is just a trend everywhere but I've been very frustrated this week by how much admin work is being outsourced to me as the patient/customer.

My orthodontist tells me I can make an appointment with the surgeon. I call the surgeon. They tell me I need a new referral. I call the orthodontist. They do a referral. I call the surgeon. Referral didn't come through. They tell me about their special unique system we have to use. I call the ortho again and walk them through the referral. I call the surgeon. They say the referral was missing some details so they have to do it again. I call the ortho.

The insurance company calls me about repair shops. I give them the name of the repair shop which I already gave them yesterday. They say they're not in their system but I can use them, but I have to call the repair shop to ask them to contact the insurance company. I call the repair shop and they say the insurance company is supposed to email them.

I feel like at a certain point these constant fetch quests become unreasonable?? Is it too much to expect these groups to communicate with each other instead of making me run back and forth between them???

[clonerightsagenda]

Made this post and then the new property manager (who started on Monday and only finally emailed us today because I sent a vaguely professionally hostile email to her boss because I hadn't heard anything and was not convinced she existed) asked for a list of open action items which her predecessor should have had but apparently wasn't keeping track of, which I learned when I met her boss and provided her with the list of open action items, which I guess tragically died in a fire in the last 2 weeks since she was sitting at my kitchen table, being menaced by the skull. How many people's jobs am I doing now

[hlahlahlahlahly]

Executive Function Theft

The phrase arrived in my head so completely formed and concrete that I couldn’t believe it wasn’t already established in the lexicon, but at

[clonerightsagenda]

It has a name!!!

[aadamantine]

One time I called the doctor and the insurance company at the same time and sicced them on each other conference call

[leebrontide]

Younger people, one thing I want you to understand about Millenials is that, overall, our parents taught their daughters to aim for careers and employment, but they didn't teach their sons to keep house. This causes a whole lot of Situations.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

My brothers are my half-brothers; they spent summers and some holidays with us. I love my brothers.

Their mother picked up after them. They were not required to take plates the kitchen or do the dishes or anything like that.

My mother, who would tell you she is for equality, came home one day, sighed at the mess of dirty dishes scattered about, and said, "Gayle, help me pick up."

"Those aren't my dishes," I said. "I picked up my dishes."

My mother sighed again. "Just help me pick up."

"No," I said again. "I didn't make that fucking mess."

She never approached my brothers and said, "Boys, in this house, you take your dishes to the kitchen." She did not tell our dad, "Hey, tell the boys they need to pick up after themselves."

It was, "Gayle, pick up the dishes."

And when I refused because it was not my fucking mess, I got lectured about being difficult.

See also: My brothers--in a classic dick-move of all siblings--figured out they could pop the lock on the bathroom door and throw it open, and I would freak out because I was in the shower and trying to get five fucking minutes of peace.

Guess who got yelled at for being "unreasonable"? Not the boys. Because a lot of moms of millennial boys still said shit like "boys will be boys" when they should have said "Boys, if you got body-slammed on the concrete, I'm not taking you to the hospital."

[gwydionmisha]

It was similar for Xers. I spent a lot of time in my 20's teaching romantic partners and friends basic household skills and having to be really hard ass about them carrying their weight.

It is stupid and infuriating and I hate that the "Boy Mom" trend is setting yet another generation up for unfairness and domestic strife.

[vaspider]

Yep.

[ace-exploring]

Them: You were 35 when you realised you were asexual? Wow, that took a long time.

Me: Yeah, I just thought everyone else was weird.

[priceforrottenjudgement]

Ppl dont seem to realise that "only perceivably queer people should have access to queer spaces and support" and "nobody is obligated to out themselves to you and nobody needs to provide proof of their sexuality/identity" CANNOT coexist.

People are very quick to say "nobody should ever be forced out of the closet, there is no one way to be queer" but then throw a fit when someone who isnt visibly gay plays a gay character or when someone who isnt officially out acts in a ~queer way~.

[romantorchdick]

Also, sometimes the person you think is the poster child for cisheterosexuality is in fact incredibly queer because that's the way they feel happiest presenting. And sometimes the person you're dead certain is queer is cishet and just really cool about it. And you will never be able to tell the difference on sight and that is a good thing.

[weirdrouter]

isn't wanting to be friends with other people, like, cheating? if you're aromantic?

literally what

[envyvstheuniverse-deactivated20]

rare post where almost every note is sofunny

[celepom]

You’re worth more than that.

[x-h3kk3ning-x]

Was gonna put this in the tags, but non-aces need to read this.

It’s never this blatant. I’ve told every partner I have had since identifying as Ace, that I am Ace and not into sex.

It starts out respectful everytime. They try to respect your passiveness to it, and you try to respect their want for it. Maybe you try to be sexual FOR them. I always did. That was the mistake. I tried to fill an area that was not ok with me, and so naturally it stopped eventually. I stopped giving it, and trying to enjoy it. That is always where the relationship issues start. The worst part is, they NEVER feel the need to apologise to you for making sex a necessary thing; But, YOU WILL apologise everytime to them for making sex an unnecessary thing.

Know now that IS NOT CONSENT! You aren’t an object, and you have the freedom to deny sex at any point for any reason, ESPECIALLY for safety and love. I can’t tell you all the ways not just my partners, but our friends made jokes or tried to tell me what I did wrong.

If you’re an allosexual, you NEED to get over it. If you love someone and they suddenly decide they don’t want sexual contact anymore, that should not be an issue. They are someone you love, supposedly deeply, which means you respect them.

Your privilege is getting to ask for sex in any relationship, is expecting it. Even if consent is given, it can be taken away at any point, and you need to respect that, otherwise, straight up don’t start the relationship. Do not joke about it, Do not make a big deal about it, Do not make it a topic of conversation. By doing so, you are telling that person who loves you, that they aren’t right, and that while you are missing nothing, they are missing a lot as a romantic partner for you. Then, they become an object in their head for you, to do right by you. It’s fucked up, and y'all need to start admitting you do that.

Aces are missing nothing. Our removal of consent is not a mistake, nor an issue, it is respect. It is not a topic for you or any of your friends to discuss. We say no at any time, and you respect that.

End of story.

[curlicuecal]

Hey, let's talk about anons like this, because I know some people haven't been in a position to see the patterns these play out in on broader scale and may indeed not spot the trap.

And it is a trap.

An ask like this has several purposes.

First, it uses social justice language in passive aggressive and manipulative ways to try to coerce a behavior. In this case, the desired behavior is usually for the recipent to participate in community shunning and/or harrassment. The language above is intended to put the recipient on the defensive where, in the haste to disassociate themself from the Bad Thing, they quickly disassociate themself from the bad person, often with no particular fact checking or evidence.

The message is also intended to create a sense of being surveilled and judged by an unknown amount of people with unknown amount of social power and an unknown amount of relevance to your life.

Notice that these asks are usually framed as if they are coming from a follower or potential follower, someone who is addressing you personally and who cares about your opinion and who your blog has an effect on. However this is usually.... very much not the case. If you've ever had the misfortune to watch a gossip campaign from like this from the outside, you will very quickly notice that messages like this get sent in mass batches to dozens and dozens of strangers. (You can often turn these up with a tumblr search, if you look.)

The sender does not know you and probably does not follow you. They have a person they don't like (possibly for their stated reason and possibly not), and they are going through the reblogs of a post from that blog and mass messaging *everyone* with a form letter. They will not see your response and they will probably never even see your blog again.

Which brings us to the second goal of whisper campaigns like this:

Notice that I blacked out the names above? That's because when the recipient answers anonymous asks like this, they provide a platform for the opinion on their blog. An anonymous message like this that gets posted doesn't just spread gossip and apply pressure to the recipient, it is spread to the recipient's entire community.

The *goal* is to get access to your community. The *goal* is to use you as a soapbox.

Is the information accurate? Did anyone check? Does the anon have an ulterior social motive? BIG SHRUG

If you go into the comments on one of these whisper campaigns you will see that *most people never bother to check.*

They assume good faith from a follower, they're off balance defending themselves, and they jump straight to conciliation.

It's a really, really effective form of social manipulation, and really really commonly misused.

[malaloba]

This is what bullying on social media can look like especially in left-leaning/social justice minded circles. This is how otherwise caring people get roped into participating in harassment campaigns.