Who Am I?

19 year old on a path to selfdiscovery and acceptance TERFs dont interact

[amaraqwolf]

Are you trapped on tumblr right now?

Is there something you planned to do before you got trapped in the endless tumblr scroll?

Are you yelling at yourself to get up and do the thing, but you can’t, because you’re trapped in the endless tumblr scroll?

Consider this your save point.

Put tumblr down, stand up, stretch, and go do the thing you planned to do. Future you will be incredibly grateful.

[love-has-a-way-ofgrowingbackward]

Rbing cuz i know that every one of my mutuals need to see this well i do too

[gryffindorcls]

It knew.

[expertpedestrian]

Judith Butler on the culture wars, JK Rowling and living in “anti-intellectual times”

Why did the New Statesman publish this? Judith Butler makes the interviewer look like a complete prat.

[expertpedestrian]

[wetpinkorthodoxy]

Fully convinced that JB knew exactly what bullshit to expect and went in 100% prepared to demolish this interviewer.

[srirachafilledbees]

[typhlonectes]

Ma’am…

[lookingformytruth]

It’s himbojuice time

Y’all... I finally started T this friday (4 dec 2020)! I take 3 pumps,which equals 30 mg testosterone, each morning by rubbing it either on the inside of my thigh or on the bottom of my stomach on an area of aprox 10x15 cm. I settled on gel instead of injections because

 1.I don’t have to go to the health center every other month to get a nurse to inject it (you’re not allowed to do it yourself in Sweden, it has to be done by a medical professional). 

 2. It’s supposed to closer resemblance a *natural* testosterone production.

So yeah, stay tuned for my himbofication

[penicillium-pusher]

Getting someone’s new name and pronouns wrong is fine during a period of adjustment and whatever, but I don’t think we talk enough about how the more time that passes, the less ok it is. At a certain point you just gotta do better.

[lookingformytruth]

How do I deal with internalized queerphobia?

I’m here, I’m queer, and I wish I could get used to it. 

My sisters boyfriend casually mentioned that he’s bi and it felt as if someone casually mentioned that they had killed someone. My heart skipped a beat and a loud ringing started in my ears. I know it doesn't matter, I accept it, I still like him, so why, oh why do I react this way?

I have a friend who’s a lesbian, but when she whent home with a girl from a party my insides turned to ice, but when another (female) friend went home with a boy I didnt even bat an eye. Why?

A trans girl went to my school last year, and every time I saw her in the hallways I actively avoided eye contact. why?

I am born and raised in Sweden, a country that is accepting of lgbtq+ people. My family is and have always been accepting, event hough no one else than me is lgbtq+. The closest town (which is where I’ve gone to school since I was 13)  is known for being accepting. Yet I flinch every time I see out and proud qeer people. I unconciously look away if I see same sex couples in public, I freeze when someone mentions that they’re trans, I cringe at representation in media. why?

I don’t hate queer people. I am queer, most of my friends are queer. I’m fortunate enough to be born into a loving and accepting time and place and have never been subjected to intolerance or true hate. I fight for queer rights, but queernes makes me (unwillingly) uncomfterble. I hate myself for being queer, and I hate myself for hating that. I want to be proud in myself, or at least not be uncomfortable with myself and others, but I don’t know how. I want to be open and accepting, I really try to. I don’t want to react differently on same sex couples than on straight couples, I don’t want to react differently on trans people than on cis, but how? 

It is as if there are two versions of me; the true me who is open and treats everyone equally and with love, and then there’s this conservative demon punishing these thoughts. I hate it and don’t know what to do. Does anyone have any concrete advice?

[whitepeopletwitter]

[thatfunkyopossum]

Idk what trans man out there needs to hear this but being men doesn’t make us evil, or bad. Realizing youre a man doesn’t magically make you a horrible person. You’re not betraying women by realizing youre a man. You don’t need to be scared of becoming something cruel. Men are not inherently evil. Men are not inherently cruel, or monsters.

You are not a monster.

[lookingformytruth]

Anyone else get dysphoric over stupid things like their handwriting? I write in cursive( always have) and like to keep my notes tidy, but my hellbrain is trying to convince me that it’s “girly”

[transstuffandmore]

Sometimes transitioning can be scary. Sometimes you will doubt yourself. Sometimes you will be in denial about who you are. Sometimes you will have to fight for who you are. Sometimes you will lose things or people that were important to you. But ultimately you are going to be better for it. You are going to be fully and completely you. And that’s the most important thing there is.

[queersona]

"i was a transtrender" no you werent. you were just questioning your identity and then you decided that wasn't for you. that's a fucking healthy thing to do. fuck off lmao

[queersona]

Questioning is:

-healthy

-common

-normal

Questioning isn't:

-an excuse to be transphobic towards often young individuals

[gogh-save-the-bees]

incase it wasn’t clear - i am and my blog is anti-terf 👍

[lookingformytruth]

In the grand scheme of things, you are still very young. The doubts you're feeling shouldn't be ignored. If it's something that's available to you, a talk therapist who specializes in this kind of stuff would likely be able to talk to you about your doubts and why you're feeling them. Don't let others minimize your feelings of doubt because it's much better to be cautious than to have huge regrets later.

Well I have been talking to both doctors, therapists, and psychiatrists specialiced in gender dysphoria for a couple of years now, last time was wednesday. Ofcourse doubt shouldnt be ignored, thats why I made this blog and have had so many conversations with gender therapists. But one should know that I’m anxious by nature and have struggled with desicionmaking all my life. Personaly I think a certain level of doubt is healthy, especialy in life changing desicions. I think its proof that one realy has though things through. As you’ve noted, Im still young (even though Im techicaly an “adult” ), but that does not invalidate my identity. So, tomorrow morning I have a telephone appointment with my endo which probably will give me thumbs-up for low dose testosterone injections. You can never be sertain about anything in life, just more or less sure. Sometimes you just have to try things out, if testosterone isnt right for me, so be it. But for now it is the right thing for me to do. Thank you for your concerne tho!✨

[lookingformytruth]

Your followers are indoctrinating you, I hope you get out so you can see it for yourself from the outside.

Can you elaborate? I’m not sure I understand what you mean

[lookingformytruth]

I saw your post and wanted to give you some advice if that’s okay. I knew I was trans for longer than you and ended up detransitioning. I was a textbook transsexual and ended up detransitioning. This isn’t to scare you but if you have doubts, it’s worth sitting down and listening to them and trying to process them. It’s okay to be afraid, T is a massive step, and it’s important to process and listen to other stories and work through your feelings. I wish you the best of luck whatever you choose

Just when I though I had my mind clear, this drops in. I’m reading this waiting at the doctor for my blocker shot which made it worse. I’m sure you did not mean any harm, it’s just me that is crippled with anxiety and self doupt...

[lookingformytruth]

Hi! Saw a few things you’ve written and would just like to say that you’re valid and I wish you the best. It can be difficult to realise one’s true self with so many hindrances along the way. Not to mention the ones you encounter even after you’ve found your path. I’m sorry I can’t provide you with any actual advice, however you are trans enough and I’m sorry to hear that others try to convince you otherwise. Lots of Love 💕

Thank you for your kind words, dear stranger. It means alot💕

[lookingformytruth]

Soooo... I emailed my doctor on friday telling her I think I’m ready for hrt now, and today I got a date for my endo appointment. Will I ever stop doubting myself?