keys

just a user dumping their dumb words to a place of little meaning aroace | any pronouns - 20 icon by @sweetmoon on deviantart

[butch-king-frankenstein]

there's no shame in continuing to live with your parents as an adult, but it does have an undeniable poisoning effect on your brain that you can't start healing until you live somewhere else

[fromdarzaitoleeza]

{Marya Hornbacher from Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia//stay away but come closer via Altusboy on Tumblr}

[fromdarzaitoleeza]

{Tokyo Story (1953), Dir. Yasujirô Ozu / Nizar Qabbani}

[words-of-emotion]

“Your craving for a genuine connection isn’t something to be ashamed of, it’s human nature to love and want to be loved by others.”

— Meggan Roxanne

[tunisian]

any amount of love given will never be love wasted any amount of love given will never be love wasted any amount of love given will never be love wasted

[lovelesskeys]

there’s that saying, that when you meet the love of your life your world just explodes into color.

that, in hindsight, everything from before seems dull in comparison to being with them.

that is something i have never understood.

i was born with the world being so unbelievably radiant in color, so beautifully saturated.

there were times, of course, where i used to think that maybe this person is someone i want to be with.

but as time goes on, my world dulls. my vision has a vignette, and they are all i can see.

but everywhere else the world has lost all its beautiful, beautiful color.

when the time comes that i finally realize; i feel nothing for this person beyond companionship.

the film is removed from my eyes, and the vignette has vanished.

now, i can see and remember just how wonderful the world around me looks.

its then i understand, i don’t need someone to make me whole.

i was born whole.

i was born with the world being so unbelievably radiant in color.

i am ashamed that i forgot, but i know now, and nothing will take this away from me again.

i was made whole, and that is so unbelievably wonderful.

[lovelessnotheartless]

One of the hardest things about being aro/ace is amatonormativity. In other, simpler words, the way having a romantic and sexual relationship is expected of us and so heavily pushed on us by society.

Growing up in a society that tells you that you must feel romance or sexual attraction in order to be successful and happy in life can be absolutely devastating to those who don't feel that way. It can make you feel less than human, alone, broken, unworthy, and so many other really negative feelings. It can make us believe that we can never be happy without it... and the worst part is that the way everyone markets things toward romantic couples, and families, and partners, and the way people treat you if you don't have a partner makes it so hard to be happy as an aro/ace person. And you go through life believing that you can't be happy because you don't feel those feelings. You start to believe they are right, and that you really are lesser and broken and incapable of finding happiness.

I want all my aro/ace people out there to know that I know how hard it is to be happy in this world that constantly tells you that you are broken and wrong and doomed to eternal misery. I know, and I see how hard you work to be yourself and find happiness despite it. I know it is not an easy thing to do, but I promise you that it is possible. You are not broken or wrong--the world is. As a very happy aro/ace person, I am living proof of that. I know that one day, you can be too.

[aroreanimator]

obviously there will always be reactionary exclusionist assholes who refuse to critically examine power structures in their lives, but i have to say...

it really makes me happy that we're now seeing people outside of the aro community deconstructing amatonormativity, and sitting with themselves and truly asking "what do i want my relationships to look like? how do i want to live my life?"

if the idea of traditional, monogamous, romantic, lifelong relationships doesn't sit well with you, and you haven't heard of amatonormativity or relationship anarchy or queerplatonic partnerships before, i encourage you to read about these terms with an open mind.

although a lot of stuff analysing amatonormativity is written by aro people, it's not just for us. it's for you, too. we're here to help each other <π

[knifearo]

i think a lot about the loneliness of being aromantic. because it's something that's so profound, right? you're told your whole life that you need something to make you happy, to make you complete, to give you connection with other people, and when you realize you're aro, that's torn away from you. everything you've been raised to want is no longer something that will fulfill you. you are not built to be happy. and it gets better with time, it does! you restructure your world view, bit by bit, and the sting fades, but... i don't think it ever truly goes away. it's hard to express, because i love being aro, and i'm happy being aro, i wouldn't want to be any other way, but at the same time. there is such a profound heartbreak to knowing that you will never be someone's most important person in a society that values romance. that you'll never get the happy ever after that you were promised as a child. and you know you can be happy. but there's a lifetime of amatonormativity that lives in your brain and tells you that you can't.

[lovelesskeys]

was looking at pictures of past friends when the exit by conan gray started playing

[angelbabymikaa]

its fine, i don’t care (i care very much) (it’s eating me alive)

[pothosrays]

y

[dogrotpdf]

HAND ON MY HEART. HAND ON MY STUPID HEART

ross gay / susan sontag / unknown / richard siken / warsan shire / lana del ray / tturing / hera lindsay bird / richard siken

[lovelesskeys]

some people don’t get it and i don’t think it’s something i can make someone understand. i care about my friends so much, i am so fond of them, and i literally adore them with all my heart. but i feel so disconnected from what love is and means (especially in the english language). god, i want to explain to my friends that i want to return the “i love you’s” but it feels awkward and stilted when i say it because it’s not that, that isn’t what i feel. i feel so deeply for them, i would rather jump in front of a bullet for them then be the one who has to watch them get hurt, but i feel slightly uncomfortable using “love” as a way to describe it, because i don’t understand love and what it’s supposed to mean; it’s a distant and unfamiliar concept to me. the problem is that there are so many thing people use the word “love” for but there’s no genuine replacement that means the same or even more in the english language and i’m scared that if i respond with “i adore/am fond of you” it won’t come off the way i want.

[vociferans-deactivated20230327]

making a separate post for these tags because i really like how i've articulated these thoughts

[aromantic-spinda]

Starting to consider identifying as both loveless and lovequeer. I know at first that sounds like a contradiction, but these two aren't actually opposites – the former is a rejection of love, while the latter is a refocus of love. Both are about moving away from "love" as a purely romantic concept, just in slightly different directions – directions that you can combine.

When you refocus a concept, you are in a sense rejecting it in its standard form, are you not? You're changing the concept from what it is most known as, tearing off its assumptions and shining it up as something new. In the refocus of love there is a rejection of love's expected form (romance). Moreover, it seems to me that there are two forms of love – love as an emotion, and love as a descriptor. When someone says they love their favorite food, are they seriously saying they feel a deep, personal bond and affection to that food? No, they're just using love to describe/conceptualize how much they like it. Therefore, one may reject love as an emotion while also using it as a shorthand descriptor for everyday life, refocusing the concept of love away from romance and towards whatever else they feel like. Rejection and refocus – loveless and lovequeer.

Or, if you'd prefer I wax my thoughts in a more poetic form:

Loveless as in I do not feel that way towards you. Lovequeer as in I love what you do and say anyway. Loveless as in my throat closes up when I'm expected to say "I love you too," but lovequeer as in I love showing you my affection in actions instead of in words. Loveless as in I don't feel anything. Lovequeer as in I still want to make sure you know how I feel. Loveless as in love is too broad. Lovequeer as in love is broad, so I'm going to use it as such. Loveless as in "Use your words instead of a cliche phrase to tell me how you feel; love won't cut it." Lovequeer as in "The best way I can describe this is love, even though we both know it's not that." Loveless as in I don't need to love to be a good person. Lovequeer as in love can be anything you want it to be. Loveless as in love can hurt and I want to make people see that. Lovequeer as in love can be mundane and I'm tired of its pedestal. Loveless as in love is just a social construct, it shouldn't matter to you if I don't feel it. Lovequeer as in love is just a social construct, it shouldn't matter to you if I use it flippantly.

Loveless as in "love may not apply to me, and that's okay." Lovequeer as in "love may not be the most important thing in my life, and that's okay."

Both loveless and lovequeer as in I'm aromantic and I can decide for myself how I feel about something as intertwined with romance as love. Fuck amatonormativity.

[metamorphesque]

― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

[text ID: This is my last message to you: in sorrow, seek happiness.]