all at once and irreversibly

30+, queer, London

[creekfiend]

Your post about people needing to be kind to those who Can’t Leave abusive situations actually… really reminded me of how a lot of people react to disabilities. There’s something about not being able to Stand being around a person while they’re suffering, that masquerades as compassion, but is really just selfish and unwilling to put your own comfort on the backburner. Some people act like having to be aware of others’ pain is somehow harming them instead of like… a vital part of caring about people. Just something that came to mind.

no you are totally right. being around someone whose suffering you cannot stop is like standing with your hand on a hot stove sometimes, and people often vent how much it hurts on the person who was suffering to begin with

[theweirdwideweb]

[rimonoroni2]

unfortunately very true. Doing Better does not always mean never being upset or never being triggered or never having trouble. often Doing Better means experiencing those things and being able to keep going/cope healthily/move on. if you’re in a bubble with no sensation, if you’re numbing yourself out, that’s not what recovering really is. it won’t help you have a happier life it’ll just make your world smaller and smaller until you can’t fit anywhere anymore. gotta learn to make peace with the hard stuff too, that’s the only way to keep going

[ktempestbradford]

I did not come into Tumblr dot com to be called out in this way.

[todayintokyo]

Tiger by 十筆斎

[piksiew]

bacteriography portrait of Five Pebbles I made from yeast , mold , acrylic paints and other stuff i found

[prettycolors]

[waxenneat]

This was a man, dressed as a plant, making pigeon noises at people walking by. I said hello, asked if it was okay to take his picture, and then asked why he was dressed as a plant. He said, “I’m just working through some stuff. Thank you for asking. No ones asked yet.”

[anekie]

I’ve been dealing with stuff the wrong way. 

[free-my-mindd]

[prettycolors]

[dispatchesfromtheclasswar]

[solradguy]

Going to the library tomorrow to find out if I'm allowed to print hypothetical boobs for the GG copybook I wanna do

[solradguy]

Libraries don't fuck around when it comes to copyright law

[official-boob-posts]

reminder to use your library’s resources so that they continue to be funded

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

re ehrc guidance. which is not legally binding.

[ozempicofficial]

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

It's always "stop harming yourself or we'll have to lock you up!!!" and never "what do you need to change to want to harm yourself less and how can we help you make some of these changes?" and that's why we're not getting anywhere

[prettycolors]

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

“No one remembered my birthday-” Well, but did YOU tell anyone it was coming up and you wanted to celebrate it with them?

“I wish someone would see through it when I tell people I’m fine-” Well, but have YOU considered not lying when people ask you how you’re doing?

“I am so resentful of my friend because they keep doing this thing that really bothers me-” Well, but have YOU directly communicated that the thing is bothering you?

“I am burning out because my friend keeps expecting me to help them with serious struggles-” Well, but have YOU tried to establish the boundaries you need to feel okay?

“No one ever asks me about this thing I really care about-” Well, but have YOU brought it up yourself?

“I miss my friend but they haven’t texted me-” Well, but have YOU been reaching out to them?

Sometimes people are mean, uncaring assholes, in which case you get to be mad. But sometimes you just need to communicate better. Try communication before you assume someone doesn’t care!

[snipertrifle]

Having someone who knows you on such a deep level that they see past your mask, or sense you need a check in is such a deep satisfying fantasy. It’s up there with living in a cottagecore farm, or buying all your friends houses when you win the lottery. But you have to make peace with the fact that this is also a fantasy. It is unfair to expect people to “just know” when to respect your boundaries or to push them.

Being cared for is not a fantasy. But you have to let people know you need it. And you have to understand that sometimes they will let you down. Just like you totally could live in a cute farm, but you still have to shovel shit, and the crops sometimes die anyway. Or maybe you win the lottery, but you still have to manage your money and learn real estate law.

The fantasy isn’t the caring, the fantasy is not having to do the work. And it sucks. It’s embarrassing. But like the meme says, it’s not rotten if it’s YOU. So do it for yourself.

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

“The fantasy isn’t the caring, the fantasy is not having to do the work”! Thank you for that addition. Because it’s not a naive expectation to want someone to care to treat you right. But it requires communication and mutual effort to actually get there

[1introvertedsage]

[lunnule]

one day it's six years later. i don't do the dishes in the evening and i don't feel the loneliness bite. my phone is plugged in for the night but not in my room for once so i don't scroll first thing in the morning. i had a nap today, before lunch. i was able to just listen to myself and sleep, rather than force my attention onto something because it's easy. it might be easy, but it's not restful. my therapist told me she was proud of me today. it meant a lot. i felt good about the work i did with my own clients. my mind is full of the things that need to get done; some drama is being dealt with but it's good here.

one day it's six years later and though the place is the same, everything is different. better