once upon a time

there were two fish. One red. One blue. They died. The end. A Story by Me 18+

[parkchanwoohoo]

[never-kill-on-the-first-dat-blog]

Hey, what’s Winnie the pooh’s favorite color?

[taco-bout-a-shit-blog]

Yellow

[never-kill-on-the-first-dat-blog]

No it’s red because of his shirt

[taco-bout-a-shit-blog]

No, it’s yellow because he loves honey

[never-kill-on-the-first-dat-blog]

You have no idea what you’re talking about

[taco-bout-a-shit-blog]

DID I FUCKING STUTTER?

[voaga]

Things heating up at the Winnie the Pooh fandom

[sun-of-a-watcher]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[rylandsgrace]

GOOD OMENS (2019 - 2026) I 1.03 // 3.01

[rylandsgrace]

[thisfeebleheart]

You're secretly one of the funniest guys I know. Well, that secret, you don't have to keep.

[cuprohastes]

About ten, fifteen years ago I wrote a story about a guy living in a Capitalist dystopia. His walls, furniture, and tableware are all covered in smart displays. Basically animated wallpaper. It's sold as being able to turn your room or objects into anything - A nice forest view, outer space, a fantasy realm... but the companies that run this stuff keep sneaking ads in.

It gets so bad he's always being woken up by adverts that offer insomnia cures and better bedding that play when he tries to sleep.

So he buys the ad-free tier, and it's great... for a few months. And then he starts getting adverts from 'premium partners'. So he goes up a level... and the same thing happens.

So he jailbreaks his wallpaper and sends all the ad servers to 0.0.0.0 and voila... he can sleep.

Until this SWAT team blows his door off and drag him off to jail. The Ad companies are suing him for loss of revenue for the products he' notionally have bought if he'd watched their adverts, based on some weird 'The average consumer buys X products with an average value of Y' calculation.

The judge is like 'well I dun wanna annoy the sponsors' so he RICO's this guy's house and possessions and sends him to jail.

... which is a nice relaxed non-volent offender jail for the corporately disenfranchised. But because these people have no money... there's no ads and now he's happy because the only place he's free... is in prison.

Which at the time was a bit much and now it's like: Called it.

Elon's suing companies for not advertising because he's losing revenue. He's also cranking the price of Ad Free Twitter. Disney and Amazon play adverts on their paid service when services used to be free because of the adverts... and now you have to pay to watch the adverts or go up a couple of tiers.

And google's going around freaking out about ad-blockers.

[alexaloraetheris]

OP did it hurt when Apollo's dodgeball hit you and made you write that story?

[rylandsgrace]

#An icon with taste

[joepickett]

Galavant 1.07

[violet-periwinkle]

GUYS GUYS GUYS

THEY RELEASED THE COYOTE VS ACME TRAILER !!!!!

WE WON !!!

[chucktaylorupset]

sorry the looney tunes movie that got buried by a massive company for corporate purposes is about fighting back against a massive company trying to bury incidents for corporate purposes?

[ristay]

Sorry if it’s a little cramped- had to make this all fit in ten photos. Hope you guys like it….. and again…. sorry Andrew

Follow me on Webtoons

[ruby-white-rabbit]

The window visual did me in I’m wheezing

[floralpopie]

NO

[greatmountainfloofsquatch]

WELP

[doctor-seamonster]

I haven’t seen this in years and yet it is burned into my memory forever.

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

This is on the short list of Eternal Reblog because it’s fucking legendary.

[magrowette]

An honourable candidate for the @hellsite-hall-of-fame

[gaynehollander]

Ilya so immediately clocked Shane's little autistic flirting in that Saskatchewan parking lot but I honestly don't think Shane clocked it himself so, years later, when Ilya talks about it as "Shane coming onto him" and Shane goes "hello??? I just wanted to introduce myself??" Ilya just says, "Shane, the apple of my eye, the light of my life, my breeze in a stuffy room, my sunshine in the dead of winter, when have you ever willingly initiated small talk with another person?" and Shane is forced to concede that, yes, looking back, he was flirting.

[emolgana]

incredible stuff happening out there

[pukicho]

There's gotta be someone more qualified. I'm fucking begging you.

[alastors-totally-canon-deertail]

I had a vision that demanded to be shared.

[drchucktingle]

[paolica46]

Me fighting kids on my way to watch ✨The Magic Faraway Tree✨ in cinema to get the best seat😂

[whitepeopletwitter]

[samshine-and-lollipops-deactiva]

Wait, it got better.

[libertineangel]

He does this a lot, to my deep surprise in undergrad:

For reference, the reason nobody likes this book and you can press tofu with it is that it’s about 1600 pages long.

[horizon-penblade]

It’s also, by all accounts, the origin of Cousin Throckmorton

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[aceal0tl]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[loafed-beans-deactivated2020082]

One of my favorite scenes from Letterkenny

[raiseyourweapon]

This show hurts my brain

[cool-ghoul]

Can’t blame you, it’s like a shakespearian comedy about nothing, sped up, with the Middle English replaced by equally obfuscatory Albertan slang.

[arisen-direwolf]

“Yeah, me and Gordon Ramsay are both morons” is one of my favorite comebacks ever written.

[urbanfantasyinspiration]

3 times the Omega3s

[edgar-allan-possum]

Squirrelly Dan is right

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

S & P, the choice for mee