Professional Crayon Eater @madam-mirage - Tumblr Blog

Outdoor in sun perfec t place for president to do speech! Outdoor very warm very soft put old man on green lawn under sun. Put old man in warm sun. no problem ever in warm sun because good view and audience can see long speech. Nice podium outdoor sunny perfect place for old president can trust warm sun to give nice view to President good luck to President. friend sun.

vexwerewolf

"Lmao why do they start talking like Sephiroth when they get angry"

Why don't you? You should try it. It's very liberating.

vexwerewolf

"Talking like Sephiroth is cringe"

And tell me, do you shrink from your own shadow, too, lest it contort itself into an unpleasing form? Do you cower from your own reflection, lest it reveal something untoward? Would you deny yourself the full range of expression because some witless dogs might cringe? Let them cringe. I will not hold myself back for you. I will not hold myself back for any man.

tac-bat

Yearning.

calware

i really love this genre of image

lunarthesugarglider

villaqueen

The best part of that video is that the owner found the ORIGINAL plush later on the beach and took another video with it after their grandmother stitched it back up

i-am-a-lonely-nerd

I love the death grip after the toy was fixed up. Lessons were learned. Try to steal it this time you fucking bird. I dare you.

sreegs

gonna start making snopes-style responses to urban legends about tumblr

sreegs

"this how we lost post editing and it was still worth it"

❌ False

The John Green Cock Monologue, while one of the most egregious examples of post editing, was not why the ability to edit posts was taken away. This feature was removed because scammers would edit posts with huge note counts to try to make their scams look legit.

sreegs

"those are his hooves, bitch."

✅ True

Those are his hooves, bitch.

eclecticopposition

what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why

carby

Hey whoa hi. Hello. I am looking directly into your ear canal. What do you mean you drank a tube of virus concentrate.

whyamiherewhosummonedme

So, I was working in a lab, right? My job in the lab was preparing a pure, concentrated enough sample of virus. This is tricky since, y'know, viruses require hosts to replicate, but you then need to get the host cells (and the pieces of the host cells that died!) out of the sample while still keeping the viruses. Once I'd finished and the samples had been sent to the database for analysis as well as a second one sent to be frozen for future reference, there was still some left over that needed to be disposed of.

I, knowing that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, waited carefully for the lab director to be deep in conversation with someone else on the other side of the laboratory. And then I took my chance.

Test tubes, as it turns out, are really bad as shot glasses. Their shape turns any liquid inside into a stream, so you really can't knock it back quickly - it takes a couple seconds. Additionally, the best way I can describe the taste of virus concentrate was "sterile rot". A very unique kind of bad! Made worse by the test tube's inefficiency as a shot glass.

(by the way we were studying bacteriophages, not animal viruses. these viruses are too specialized on attacking prokaryotes to even recognize our cells as targets at all, according to studies.)

(but also like. if the viruses managed to successfully switch hosts and killed me with a violent infection, itd still be worth it.)

(for science.)

violetthunderstorm

You have a fitting blog title

nico-the-overlord

this post is getting 50k easy

marlinspirkhall

We crashed the server rip frames

Happy pride!

tumblchorraden

How well do you know Tyria?

How well do you know the world of Guild Wars 2?

I’m enjoying this a lot!

edoro

In the fan favorite expansion of critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV, Shadowbringers, at one point you go to the DMV. Not a regular DMV either. It's a ghost DMV. It's the bittersweet memory of a long dead civilization's DMV crafted from the mind of the only surviving member of that civilization, who is apparently the kind of guy who takes great comfort in meticulously recreating the fucking DMV. And you have to wait in line, despite the fact that you and your companions are the only living beings there and everyone else is a ghost. At the ghost DMV. Because that's what you do at the DMV, obviously.

And the guy's dead wife is there. At the ghost DMV. The dead wife is a ghost and he's the ONLY ghost who knows he's a ghost. In the ghost DMV. You make friends with the guy's dead wife (while waiting in line) (at the ghost DMV) and he tells you that the lunatic immortal wizard who's making you defeat his seven evil bureaucratic processes while you die of magic cancer before you can even fight him directly is really just a silly sentimental fella.

Then in the next expansion you get to live through the dead wife flashbacks yourself. You get to meet the dead wife when he's alive in the past, outside of the DMV. And it turns out he works at the real DMV, in the past. And he has pink hair. And he and the past-self version of the insane immortal wizard (who sent you to the ghost DMV) pull off a sick prank to help you close the timeloop.

Later, you run into the dead wife's real ghost on the moon, which is actually a spaceship full of immortal bunnies.

twistcmyk

"i think... i want that."

#deltarune spoilers

schpog-art

GET HER

omegaversereloaded

It was wild when overwatch got popular and dudes were furious that women liked it as much as they did. I was there

I was there.

I was there

I was there

I was there

I was there

I was there.

I was there

I was there

#I screamed at her and hit the plate of chicken nuggets #gets me every time

reynard61

Let's ambush mama! 😼

dvandom

"Why do Pallas cats always look grumpy?"

"Pallas kittens."

waywardmartian

The sheer roundness of this kitten must be admired.

kaijutegu

It looks cute, right? But wait, what's that?

Yup. AI watermark. Traces back to this Facebook page which posts nothing except for AI images of manul/Pallas cats (plus a couple of videos of domestic cats). The original post is here.

Here are some real images of this animal. They're not as dramatic, but they are the real thing.

kaijutegu

If you want to see real baby manul/Pallas cat kittens, and you don't mind a trip to the Quad Cities... Niabi Zoo just had a litter!

Niabi Zoo is proud to welcome one of only two litters of Pallas’s Cats born in North America since 2024. Donate today to create more success

Let's be photographic representations of real animals with mama

lostinthelegs

the generated image can't compare to the real beauty of nature

kaijutegu

You think that one is good, look at this thing:

katlovesshrimps

does anyone have that tweet that's like "talking to the ace hardware employee: gonna remodel an old brownstone by myself can I get the fisher price tool kit and stupid white paint"