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@madbunbunsblog
I’m alone again,- says the voice in my head.
It’s the kind of voice you hear all your life in your mind. I’d like to think sometimes that it’s my Soul whispering quietly about the secrets of…well everything.
For a logical reason my ‘Soul’ only ever speaks to me. I imagine if others could hear the arguements between us or the many, many jokes she likes to tell,- (Of course, only when in public so my laughter could be frowned upon and once again deemed 'weird’.) - they would think me barmy.
I could also say, that she is my Sanity. For when I feel the world is crumbling beneath my feet I can still faintly hear her muttering something like 'oh, but tea is truly wonderful’ .
Sometimes, when I’m not afraid of judgement I admit to myself and to her that I’d rather be alone….
Alone with that gentle whisper reassuring me that yes, the smell of rain and thunderstorms are indeed wonderfull.
Sooo I...I'll try to make a wig tonight guys. 🤔🙊😱....'Cause sleep is for the weak😂 . . #cosplay #cosplayersofig #cosplaygirl #oc #demon #demonoc #gore #fakegore #fakegoremakeup #makeup #creepy #possessed https://www.instagram.com/p/BzEDgjylv0Z/?igshid=1cwg7jxxawd5j
⛩Mad.Bunny's Cosplay...⛩ @madbunbun
Social Anxiety
What I want you to understand is that Anxiety is not a fiction. Not a tale whispered amongst children at sleepovers and birthday parties. Certainly not a cry for attention.
Anxiety is real. Sometimes so real you can touch it if you dared. Its presence is always known, twisting everything you feel.
By the hands on your throat choking the words you wanted to say.
Because what if it's stupid? Wrong? Makes them hate you?
No. Don't speak-what if they hear you?
Do NOT smile-what if they think you exist?
Scratch that, you do exist but really you are weird. They know it too. You can see it in their eyes as they judge you. See those whispers? They are about you.
"But maybe they just want to be friends with me"
Anxiety is the cruel, bitter laughter echoing in the caverns of your soul as an answer.
Friends? With you?
Since when do you think you are worthy?
Let's face it honey. Nobody should be doomed with your presence.
I'm saying these for you. The people, they will hurt you. So stay with me.
Don't leave the house. Stop making sounds. DO NOT move a toe out of line.
"What line?"
Anxiety is the voice inside your head crooning the word: Mine.
I don’t understand people who think reading is boring, my buddy, I have never been so stressed as I get at some of these plots and climaxes and when characters are about to finally kiss or someone dies and i’m just looking calm sitting there reading but internally i’m like askakdjalakhdjakak
A letter to you
Morals, so fickle a word.
People draw lines over limits as if it was their choice to pick and chose the size of it.
It's hilarious how many times you convince yourself of upholding the rules.
The fucking game you pretend makes my blood boil over with the supressed rage of bitter laughter. Acting like you are so spiritual, good and oh so angelic only to use it when you need it.
"I just want you to forgive him, for your own good. Your anger is poisoning you. "
"I just want you to be happy, unless you are not doing it my way"
"I just think you are wrong about your life choices, but it's your decision. It's not like I will hold it over you for the rest of your life...."
"You know I support you, until I have a chance to humiliate you for my own amusement"
Oh stop now, you are making me laugh.
Tell me, where the hell did you draw the line?
From here it looks to be in a solid place of actually admitting to doing everything you frown upon.
Fucking hypocrite is what you are.
I can still hear your voice nagging at me about cursing, wearing black or being angry.
Well guess what? I AM ANGRY. Furious.
I feel rage whenever you use your authority to silence me, just to pretend you did it for my own good.
I could scream from frustration each time I have to sit through one of your lecturing as if you are wise.
As if you didn't majorly screw up my life.
As if the traumas you caused me to have are not the reason why I'm angry anyways.
As if you did not greet my emotional breakdowns with streams of chilling water and stinging slaps to my face.
"It's not abuse, I'm a decent person"- is your way of washing your hands clean. It's funny, how easily you believe these lies.
When he slapped me I made him sit in a dank prison cell for a night.
When you do it, I'm powerless.
Well fuck you. Your morals. Your opinion. Your effing lines.
And while you are at it screw your false concern, loud judgement and awfully high pride.
I refuse to be your convinient little punching bag.
I'm done with staying silent and biting my tongue, till it leaked drops of blood from my mouth.
So next time..., because there will be next time, I'm hitting back. Screw morals and customs and authority.
Next time you raise your hand against me, I'm twisting it until It feels unbearably wrong.
You are no longer stronger then me, no. So next time I hope to see the shock when you realise I did not cry.
But above all I hope you'll finally see, just what kind of Mother you are.
Stumbling through the crowds, I always wonder.
How many of them will be alive next month or the month after?
How many of them will cry, suffer, and scream their grief to endless darkness over and over?
My therapist...
My therapist would ask with a soft frown "And How does this make you feel?"
The answer to it unknown. Maybe I would reply "human" while choking on the meanings of the word itself.
HUMAN.
Alive, vulnerable, strong, fleeting and so....so very small.
Because no amount of my sadness would be echoed in the universe. My grief doesn't even make a small indent of all that's alive.
Smaller than a drop of water against the roaring oceans around us.
Fleeting, is what we all are. And yet...
...this thought comforts me.
Because my pain won't be recorded anywhere. It's a pain so tiny compared to what earth has seen before me.
Before I became human.
Am I alone?
In my longing for the peace of silence, the wast warmth of blanketsforts and fairy lights?
I like the lights, for when they shine the darkness fades to a mere shadow covering in hidden crooks of my room.
How silly. How very ironic.
Wasn't it me, before in your place? Did I not shake in that very space when the lights were out.
Tell me, Darkness, do you feel lonely?
Or do you have the same longing as me?
For steaming mugs of tea, and the static of incoming thunderstorms?
How very sad it is, your reaching hands make your children scatter and tremble with fear.
The blanketforts I used to build were wobbly at best but now? Now my world is in them, from the heating sheets and well-read books to the secretly uttered words in the silence of it all.
How enchanting you are Silence., you mean everything and nothing by yourself.
To me?
You are what I mean when I say the word 'solace'.
You are the smell of rain, the taste of sunshine, and oh, you are the sound of Peace.
(All rights of the gifs go to the original creators. )
Pandora's box of secrets
You know, one day when you look into the mirror you won't recognize yourself.
It happens to everyone.
I look into the mirror and see the mere shadow of who I was, of who I wanted to become.
Sometimes I wait there quitely, expecting a voice to greet, to tease, to..just be.
So foreign.
I wish it wasn't me. Not because of my shape or hair no. NO.
I wish it wasn't me who flinched when they got touched.
I wish it wasn't me who stared vacantly into the night for hours on end.
I wish I wasn't forced to survive it all.
I wish my smile wouldn't be laced with contempt and sarcasm.
I wish, I wish, I wish to be my old self.
To say 'thank you' with the enthusiasm I actually feel.
To say 'I love you' without mumbling 'jk' for insurance.
To say 'I hate you' without mind-numbing fear or hesitance.
But I'm not her.
Not the cheery smiles and bouncing pigtails,
Not the rainbows and uniqorn patterns,
Nor the deep resounding belly laughs.
I wish I could laugh like that again,
But it seems I'm always just a step behind.
Now I'm silent. My mouth is taped and eyes screwed shut, I breathe through my nose.
Like a secret hidden in the depth of Pandora's box I'm waiting to unravel. To unhinge. To escape.
To live.
Harry Potter characters as John Mulaney quotes
Harry:
Ron:
Hermione:
Ginny:
Neville:
Luna:
Draco:
Fred and George Weasley:
Voldemort:
Mad-Eye Moody:
All image credit to the creators of the gifs and screenshots, because I sure didn’t make them.
About Hunger
I wonder, when exactly did I start to cover the growls of my stomach in public.
Public meaning anywhere outside my bedroom.
Public being the dinner table in our kitchen, the parties with my friends, the rickety chairs of classrooms and offices.
It creeped up on my normally sane toughts like a disease.
So I haven't eaten today.
Not because I wasn't hungry,no.
I wouldn't be able to forget the aching hunger in my belly if I tried.
The hunger has been a part of me since the first mentions of weight gain girls threw around casually in the locker room.
Since trying on jeans I wanted but couldn't fit into.
Since the glances from adults grew heavy and judgement sat in the corner of their mouths.
Food is as much my enemy as the mirror I stare into searching for signs of weightloss.
I used to love eating, though It's just a fading memory now. All it left behind is shame and guilt.
Shame for eating at all.
Guilt for doing this to my precious body afterall.
I know, I know all the drag.
My mind understands, or well a part of it does. And the other? The other remembers.
The comments
The judgement
The looks
The heartbreaking pain of not getting better.
So I couldn't eat today. Because my very soul screams at me for even trying.
For I have to tape my mouth shut to stop from hurling.
I crumbled on my bedroom floor to curl into a ball and calm my raging Hunger.
Not like it would work today.
It never did. It never went away.
I wonder, how sane I am for being ashamed of shame.
Yes, please...
This world is over.
Like the sea of bodies littering the mass graves, from wars, they didn't want to fight in,
Like the innocence of children in the wake of twisted desires, they didn't want be in,
Like the vestige of memories deeply carved inside our grieving daydreams, they didn't want to haunt,
Like the screams of pain, after the abused lost the hope, they did not want to leave behind,
Like the woman crumbling on the sidewalk, with a grace only seen in heartbreak, they didn't want to feel,
Gone,
Because it hurts.
Vanished,
Because the suffering is unseen.
Dead,
For people would rather turn their head away.
So yes the World is truly over.
Because what's the point?
To swim through the putrid current of loss, flowing with rotting dreams that did not come true?
To realise your soulmate is probably six feet below ground, gone by the hands of another?
To see the monotone chain of continued existence we force upon one another?
To retch at the sight of a bottomless pit, filled to the brim with unheard prayers uttered at the time of pure despair?
For being human is not something I am proud of anymore.
meaning cruelty for the sake of cruelty ,
Meaning abuse for the sake of abuse,
Meaning causing heartbreak, for the sake of witnessing heartbreak,
Meaning the hidden screams, behind 'I'm Fine's and forced smiles.
Yes, please tell me how you can know all this and still smile,
How you can witness this and still be happy,
How you can ignore the sinking ship of the concept of Morals.
Yes, please open my eyes to the shameless joy's of life.
Of love.
Of laughter.
And of prayers.
THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. It may save a life, It may save your life.)
An Article from Neena Susan Thomas
“Through a rapist’s eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interview…ed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.
5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.
6] Number three is public restrooms.
7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.
8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.
9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.
POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:
1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.
5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.
6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.
FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .
b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.
If u have compassion reblog this post. ‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.
REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW AT LEAST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD. So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.
THIS COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.”
EVERYONE BOOT THE FUCK OUT OF THIS
This is so fucking unfortunate that we need this
it just makes me angry that women need this.. but we do and if you see this, PLEASE REBLOG. it doesn’t matter if you are a male or a female. by reblogging this, you might save someone’s life.
Don’t scroll past this, it’s so important
nothing to do with what my posts are normally about but this is SO damn important!! don’t scroll past without reading and / or reblogging!
this is fucking important. Idc if your blog is perfect, fucking reblog this. It may save someone.
sorry if i reblog this everY FIVE MINUTES
Important
No worries if this post doesn’t fit your aesthetic or theme, this is important information. You could save not just a physical woman’s life but you can ALSO prevent things like PTSD that a woman would acquire from an attack if left alive
Dont you dare scroll past this without reblogging im pretty sure you can press two simple buttons to raise awareness
From someone who’s dealt with this type of thing personally and has two little girls, I find this SO important. I swear it’s so sad the world we live in but we need to protect ourselves.
Stay safe
As someone who does taekwon-do, the elbow is not the hardest place, in fact we’re told not to use it in case it shatters, and in this situation you should never allow someone to get close enough to you that you can use your elbow. Always keep as far away from the attacker as possible.
Use your weight instead.
One of the first things we’re taught is released from a wrist hold. Bring the hand that’s being held up to your face and step to the side and bring your wrist with you. It’s very important that you step to the side of their hand with the thumb as that’s the weakest finger because it’s alone.
Another tip from your local dumbass: always step away from the attacker put as much distance between you and them so they are off balance then kick them where it hurts.
It also works if you change your stance from one that is offensive to one that is defensive with most of your weight behind you without moving the parts of you that are in contact with asshole and then when you’re in the right position bring your leg up and kick in a sensitive spot - under the arm pits, the floating ribs, or the top of the hips bc that shit hurts.
Use your fucking legs.
We have legs for a reason. They’re long and they’re much much stronger than it arms. All you need to have is flexibility and then what you can kick that fucker in the nuts all the way to the face. They also help move your weight around if you’re pinned up against the wall with no way to use your arms, use your fucking legs and knee them in the groin or kick at the ankles - the back is the best - of stomp on their instep.
S. I. N. G
Solar plexus, instep, nose, groin. Target these areas.
If you’re a guy facing a female attached use these points but also
We’re more sensitive at the boobs. Punch us there. Pinch us. It’s like what it would feel like if we did that to your dick.
If they are coming at you with a weapon
Grab the wrist with the weapon and press down on the tendons. Or just twist their arm and dislocate their shoulder. I know many of you don’t know how to do that or don’t have the physical strength, but basically, you can use a new release on their grip of the knife.
Grab their wrist with one hand, kick them in the nuts to keep them preoccupied, rip their thumb off the knife, grab it and RUN. DO NOT FIGHT BACK THAT WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU AND IF YOU LIVE IN AUSTRALIA IT’S ILLEGAL TO FIGHT BACK IF ASSAULTED.
The six elements of power
Reaction force, focus, balance, breath control, mass and speed.
You only need mass and speed against an untrained fighter but it’s best to throw in balance and breath control. You should already be very focused and reaction force is simply that your other limb moves the same distance as your attacking limb. Mass and speed are absolutely necessary against a larger opponent. Mass so you can pull you or if your situation and speed so you can hit quickly and run faster. It’s okay if you don’t have good balance, it’s only necessary for kicks, but speed in kicks is absolutely necessary because they can just grab your foot/leg if you’re not fast. Breath control is that ‘tsu’ sound you hear when you see someone doing taekwon-do, it’s when we tense our abdomen to protect our organs and the breath is pushed out of us. Do not hold your hecking breath to have a constantly hardened core.
And remember kiddos: the best way to get out of a bad situation is to not be in the bad situation in the first place.
It's sick that we nees this. I'm furious that we have to live in constant fear of other humans. What the hell is wrong with this world?
Also go for the eyes!! Plunge your fingers as hard as you can manage into the bastard's eyes and once they crumble RUN. If you are in a parking lot, forget your car. Run like hell to where people can see you.
Also I know we want to prevent this, but if you become a victim, please know that It's not your fault. Stay safe everyone!
So freaking true.....
I'm alone again,- says the voice in my head.
It's the kind of voice you hear all your life in your mind. I'd like to think sometimes that it's my Soul whispering quietly about the secrets of...well everything.
For a logical reason my 'Soul' only ever speaks to me. I imagine if others could hear the arguements between us or the many, many jokes she likes to tell,- (Of course, only when in public so my laughter could be frowned upon and once again deemed 'weird'.) - they would think me barmy.
I could also say, that she is my Sanity. For when I feel the world is crumbling beneath my feet I can still faintly hear her muttering something like 'oh, but tea is truly wonderful' .
Sometimes, when I'm not afraid of judgement I admit to myself and to her that I'd rather be alone....
Alone with that gentle whisper reassuring me that yes, the smell of rain and thunderstorms are indeed wonderfull.
🔮 Occult Podcast 🎧
So its has occurd to me you guys aren’t in the know about the incredible resource that is the pagan/witch/occult podcast community. There are tons of them and you should take the time to find whats right for you, here are some links to just the most popular ones in no particular order:
Down At The Crossroads
Hippie Witch
Myths & Legends
Witch School
Fat Feminist Witch
Whoroscope
Witch Dad
Desperate House Witches
Modern Witch
Witch Doctorate
The Witch Wave
The Spirits Podcast
So pick a podcast that appeals to you and sit back with your favorite brew in hand 💕
~ ☀ That Witch ☀