Good Omens, but make it a noir film from the 1940s.

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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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NASA
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@mandylion13
Good Omens, but make it a noir film from the 1940s.
On Saturday I said to my partner, as I have said for months, "A ten thousand dollar a year raise would solve so many of my problems."
As of this morning I was reluctantly looking for jobs because I love my job and don't want to leave it, but see: $10k raise problem solver.
As of noon today this was no longer an issue, because my boss called me with the news that I was getting a $10K merit raise.
I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is roughly $200 extra per paycheck. Enough to pay off debt faster, rebuild my savings, and spend a weekend a month in Milwaukee getting obscenely laid. The sex I'm going to have on $200 extra per paycheck. You can't even.
May all of you get the $10K raise your soul has yearned for. And whatever level of sex you can be satisfied with for $200.
hey bestie i think ur post might be charmed 'cause you aren't gonna fuckin believe what happened today
y'all you would not guess what happened not even 3 hours after reblogging
AO3 IS BACK UP
Don't be caught unprepared! Get your tabs in order!
reblog if you love archive of our own and how they firmly refuse to let censorship have any place on their platform
requested by @gaytomatic
RATING: RELIABLE
BP did hire PR firm Ogilvy & Mather in 2004, and coined the term 'carbon footprint' as well as creating the 'carbon footprint calculator'. This gave the impression that climate change was primarily the fault of the individual consumers.
From a New York Times opinion piece on carbon footprint (via the Wayback Machine): 'In 2004, BP hired the public relations firm Ogilvy & Mather to improve its image, in part by conveying the message that consumers of oil and natural gas bear the responsibility for their greenhouse gas emissions, not the producers of the oil and gas they use. The result was BP’s ingenious carbon footprint calculator, which allows individuals to calculate the carbon emissions that result from their activities.'
From a BBC Future article on 'how companies blame you for climate change': 'Similar criticisms have been levelled at terms like "carbon footprints" – which was first coined in a 2005 TV advert from BP. The advert appears to show members of the public being stopped in the street and asked what is "their carbon footprint".'
From an Irish Times on individualising blame: 'In 2004, it unveiled a "carbon footprint calculator", so that individuals could assess how much their daily activities were polluting the planet. The marketing campaign, led by Ogilvy & Mather, fostered the false idea that climate change was the fault of individuals rather than fossil fuel companies.'
Hey can you guys reblog Cheeseburger so he can take a sunbeam nap on lots of blogs. No other reason I just want you guys to see him.
babygirl you have cancer but it’s okay we’re gonna get a bee to cough all up on your titties
For those with bee venom allergies and kiddies problems 🤧😪
Saw someone request this and just got around to making it @julius-underscore-caesar
when did you join tumblr? (don't vote without reblogging)
before 2010
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after a suicide attempt in 2016
“When Daddy comes in, he carries you to bed. Is there anything you feel like you could eat, Pokey? Anything at all? All you can imagine putting in your mouth is a cold plum, one with really tight skin on the outside but gum-shocking sweetness inside. And he and your mother discuss where he might find some this late in the season. Mother says hell I don’t know. Further north, I’d guess. The next morning, you wake up in your bed and sit up. Mother says, Pete, I think she’s up. He hollers in, You ready for breakfast, Pokey. Then he comes in grinning, still in his work clothes from the night before. He’s holding a farm bushel. The plums he empties onto the bed river toward you through folds in the quilt. If you stacked them up, they’d fill the deepest bin at the Piggly Wiggly. Damned if I didn’t get the urge to drive to Arkansas last night, he says. Your mother stands behind him saying he’s pure USDA crazy. Fort Smith, Arkansas. Found a roadside stand out there with a feller selling plums. And I says, Buddy, I got a little girl sick back in Texas. She’s got a hanker for plums and ain’t nothing else gonna do. It’s when you sink your teeth into the plum that you make a promise. The skin is still warm from riding in the sun in Daddy’s truck, and the nectar runs down your chin. And you snap out of it. Or are snapped out of it. Never again will you lay a hand against yourself, not so long as there are plums to eat and somebody-anybody-who gives enough of a damn to haul them to you. So long as you bear the least nibblet of love for any other creature in this dark world, though in love portions are never stingy. There are no smidgens or pinches, only rolling abundance. That’s how you acquire the resolution for survival that the coming years are about to demand. You don’t earn it. It’s given.”
excerpt from Cherry by Mary Karr, context being after a suicide attempt at age 13
Some context: Texas and Arkansas share a corner border. Now, Texas is FECKING HUGE and there are many, many parts of Texas that cannot visit Arkansas overnight, but there are parts where it’s no trouble at all.
However, those places of Texas that are close to Arkansas, do not include “close to Fort Smith, Arkansas.”
The closest Texas gets to Fort Smith is about 185 miles (about 300km), at “a little closer than Texarkana.” (Dallas, fwiw, is about 275 miles/450km from Fort Smith.)
So the dad in this story drove at least SEVEN HOURS round trip, to pick up a bushel of plums for his little girl, in the hope that some almost-out-of-season fruit would convince her to go on living.
Okay.
It’s bigger than this.
According to Wikipedia, the poet Mary Karr was born in 1955 and grew up in Groves, Texas and “lived there until she moved to Los Angeles in 1972.” So she would have been there when she was 13 and attempted suicide.
According to Google Maps, the shortest driving distance between Groves, TX and Fort Smith, AR is 439 miles (or 706 km for metric using folks).
That’s almost 8 hours of driving.
Almost 16 hours roundtrip.
(I assume he broke every speed limit he could.)
That’s how much this man loved his daughter.
May we all be worthy of such love.
May we all be capable of giving such love.
May we all have people in our lives with which we can share this love.
Sometimes the littlest things can convince someone that they need to live a bit longer.
My "breaking point" happened when I was in the shower about 4000 miles, 6.4k km for those not in the states, from my family. I couldn't stop crying. I didn't know why I was crying. All I knew was that I didn't see myself ever being happy again, couldn't fathom it! I called my little sister and ask her such a simple question, "Would you watch my dogs for an undetermined amount of time?"
I was in the military so asking a question like that wasn't too far out of the norm.
At first she said that she couldn't, was too busy with college and her job but that I could ask my mom (estranged) and she would be able to, but then she ask "Really though, are you okay?"
I broke down and told her everything. Why I was so adamant that SHE had to be the one to take the dogs; the how to and where, everything. From location to what I had planned, everything.
She then sat with me on the phone for over 3 hours, talking. She didn't let me get off the phone until I made her promise I wouldn't do it.
A few years ago while trying to find ways to commit suicide as painlessly as possible, I came across a PDF of Dr. Paul Quinnett's The Forever Decision. Thinking it might go into actual methods of suicide (I read an article once that actually did that and was trying to find it again) I started to read it, and I think I only got about two pages in before I was crying too much to actually see the words.
I downloaded the PDF to my hard drive and I open it again whenever I'm feeling too suicidal to do much else, but not enough to start booking a ride to the hospital. And every time without fail I only go up to a few pages before backing off and choosing to live another day just because suicide suddenly seems even more unbearable than whatever the hell upset me in the first place.
All the book really does is [I'm pulling a summary from GoodReads here as, again, I've read no more than 5 pages] "discusses the social aspects of suicide, the right to die, anger, loneliness, depression, stress, hopelessness, drug and alcohol abuse, the consequences of a suicide attempt, and how to get help."
But it also starts with the author kindly asking the reader to complete the book before going through with anything, and for some reason I'm compelled to really just try to read it all before finalizing everything. Despite not yet completing it (hopefully never will) I think I can safely say it's saved my life at least a few times now.
It's intentionally legal to copy and redistribute this book to keep it as accessible as possible, and it's very easy to find, but here's a link for it anyways.
Lucifer: *enters the hotel*
Alastor: I cast vicious mockery 😈
An animation my sis and I made for fun
Music is Perception Check by Tom Cardy.
Reblog to give prev the power to write their fanfiction
Dooo iiiiiit!
gives you a badjob. a weirdjob. doing some unusual shit to your penis.