a Mess™️

Jess aka Bee (she/they). 28. USA. polyam. i have a vague idea of what I’m doing with my life which i guess is good.

[lottiesam]

reblogs r turned off but um. bruce springsteen

[beemovieerotica]

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[ominous-signs]

You guys should talk about your ghost experiences if you have them actually, and want to share that is. I’m so curious.

[json-derulo]

not a ghost experience or even a supernatural one, but a bizarre unexplained occurrence that keeps me up at night nonetheless: I once found a real, perfectly intact pumpkin sitting on my doorstep one morning in mid-march.

fresh. showed no sign of having been frozen and thawed out. not carved or smashed or anything. no knock, no note, no nothing. I asked every friend who knew my address and none ever owned up to it, or even seemed suspicious. all shared my bafflement about how someone would even get a fresh, whole pumpkin in florida in mid-march. it's been years at this point and I have never gotten even a whiff of an explanation.

if you're ever looking to pull a completely harmless prank that will live rent-free in the target's mind forever...miraculously acquire a large, unwieldy, wildly out-of-season piece of fresh produce, abandon it on their doorstep, and never, ever tell them who or why or how the fuck

[eleilinnrallin]

This is a reminder for those who handmake Christmas presents that now is not too early to start. It may in fact be a good time to start if you have a lot to make/your craft takes a long time. You should maybe start it now, whether that's brainstorming or actually doing the crafts!

[newtsoftheworldunite]

Translating this into tumblr's preferred public service announcement format for this kind of alert:

[kimberlychapman]

Or this preferred Tumblr announcement system:

[sergeifyodorov]

I don't read as much fic as I used to but one "tell" for non Canadians writing us, besides the etransfer, is the units you use to describe us measuring something. I hate to tell you this but The Chart is real and it's completely subconscious. Please abide

[demotu-writes]

ETA the chart (or at least a version of it):

ETA2: we do use inches/miles in poetic ways ("he was lost in thought/miles away" or "his lips were a bare inch away").

Also, the length of a dick is in inches for SURE.

[modernmusess]

katniss: everyone’s so focused on protecting peeta because they too know how pure hearted he is and believe that he—a boy they’ve never even met before—deserves to survive over them and their friends of literal decades

finnick, to literally everyone else: okay if peeta dies she’s gonna kill all of us and then herself, so hands in, protect bread boy on three-

[future-crab]

Just got out of the theater from seeing the Hadestown proshot, and it was absolutely incredible, but I do believe Christopher Nolan went through the runtime of Hadestown, found all the quietest and most emotional moments, and decided to put loud as fuck explosions in The Odyssey at exactly those times as a malicious plot to ruin the moviegoing experience of me, specifically

[funstyle]

d(0_o)b ..... i cant heard you i got my head phones on

[stonelionhearts]

i think as a writer, the older you get and the more you read, the more you realize there are very few actual truly bad ideas. which is a relief. but! the other thing you learn is that stories live and die on the execution and ha ha. lemme tell you. unfortunately. there are lots and lots of bad ways to execute an otherwise fine idea

[puncertainty]

continuing traditions

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[juunipupu]

Knight under Everything

[punished-venom-solitair-e]

everyone post your biggest hear me outs my friend just showed me two conventionally attractive white men in a row i need to teach him what a real hear me out is

[gardenofeden5457]

.world's largest excavator- nay, world's largest vehicle- the bagger 288

.also, scale reference! just the wheel is 70 feet in diameter

[ceruinus]

'here's a real hear me out' >>posts world's most conventionally attractive piece of machinery

[crabussy]

some people seem to think aotearoa new zealand is just fields and hills and grass. maybe some mountains. maybe a fjord or two. which is so fascinating to me because we have so many different biomes and landscapes it's bonkers.

[crabussy]

we have massive volcanic fields. we have native palm trees and mangroves up north. we have huge swaths of geothermal areas that have geysers and bubbling hot mud and multicoloured pools. we have dense temperate rainforests. we have fern trees that grow ridiculously tall. we have huge tussock grasslands. we have a freezing cold desert. we have huge black sand beaches. we have sand dunes that stretch for kilometres. I love you aotearoa. this isn't even all of it these are just a few examples man

[crabussy]

it's ridiculously beautiful and varied over here and yet when you say "new zealand", a lot of people imagine grass fields and sheep. which to be fair. we do also have. BUT STILL

[crabussy]

long story short: it's not all fields and sheep. p.s. yes those are people at the top of the sand dune in the last photo

[hobo-rg]

tags by @sufficientlylargen endorsed:

#I have a suspicion that a lot of people think aotearoa is a lot smaller than it actually is #I think there's a tendency especially for europeans and east-coast americans to think of it as 'a small island off of australia' #which like #it's small compared to australia #but most countries are small compared to australia #aotearoa has a greater area than the entire united kingdom #it also spans about 15° of latitude #which is 50% more than england #and also more than any US state except Alaska

"off of australia" is also a bit misleading; the distance looks small on a map, but that's because your brain is comparing it to the entire pacific ocean on the other side.

sydney (eastern coast of australia) to auckland (nz north island) is a three hour plane flight.

[crabussy]

EXACTLY!!!!! we stretch from florida to new york if you put aotearoa on a map of the US. it's like saying "japan is a small island off the coast of china" to me

BIG!

[crabussy]

unfortunately one of the main reasons people think we only have mountains and fields and european trees is because of the LOTR movies. smiles. those movies are fun but the reason they were filmed here is because a lot of aotearoa's native landscapes were destroyed and replaced with idyllic european landscapes 150 years ago. which made it the perfect place for a european fantasy film series. so yes there are hobbits! but at what cost!

[sylphid01]

To add onto this, back in the late 19th and early 20th century the primary goal of the colonists was to create an idyllic paradise, or an image of an imagined pre-Industrial Britain. They saw Aotearoa as a prime candidate for this project, and art that highlighted Aotearoa's natural beauty was very popular. Paintings such as the one below were used to help New Zealand's tourism industry and get Europeans to visit or migrate over here.

(Source: The valley of the Wilkin from Huddleston’s run, 1877, by John Gully)

Tolkien lived during this time in British history, and Lord of the Rings is written with this same nostalgia for English pastoralism. The Shire is an idealized version of pre-industrial England, and many of the themes of Lord of the Rings are rooted in this early 1900s nostalgia for a pre-industrial society. So the fact that Peter Jackson's films merge these two elements is unsurprising. Compare the above painting of the Aotearoa with the following painting of Edoras, and then the film version of it.

(Source: Edoras and the Palace of Meduseld, Alan Lee, 1993)

(Source: Shot from The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Peter Jackson, 2002)

They're all very similar in style. Now, was Peter Jackson being nefarious with this? No, I don't think so. But he is filming an adaptation of a book rooted in nostalgia for a pre-industrial Britain in a country where that very same nostalgia was used as a carrot to get British people across the world and help terraform Aotearoa into the very same image that allowed it to be the perfect setting for the films. Settlers who displace and disempower the Māori in the process of this project.

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[space-arcanist]

I can’t get over “and comes fucks me”.

[the-doctored-pepper-deactivated]

This video ruined all those aesthetic photos of fog for me. I can’t see a foggy landscape without this video playing in my head.

[commandtower-solring-go]

It’s Comes Fucks Me Wednesday babes

[dogpuppy]