yh hi

[thankstothe]

this show rewires you fundamentally in 60 seconds and then just goes on to have more seasons. audacity

[penandinkprincess]

obviously we have the montage of shane getting ready so we know yuna wasn't in his room with him before the first hookup, but i am laughing about the idea of shane stressed as FUCK trying to get his mom out of the room after she stopped by to go over a new brand deal with him.

watching the clock and SWEATING because he doesn't have rozanov's number atp obviously so he can't text "HEY MY MOM IS HERE. CANCEL IT. CANCEL IT ALL. DO NOT COME UP HERE.", but yuna can read that Something is up with shane, so she's even less likely to want to leave him, so she's actually stretching this out LONGER trying to figure out if shane is just really nervous about this new brand or something and honey, did someone say something today? do i need to kill someone?

and shane is pulling out EVERY ounce of deception he has never consciously had to use on his mom before to just get her OUT. he doesn't even have time to fuck around with his outfit because he needs her to GO. in a moment of ABSOLUTE fucking desperation he says he feels sick and retreats to the bathroom and pours some water in the toilet so it sounds like he's puking, but he WAY overshot this one because now no WAY is she leaving.

which means ilya still knocks on the door.

and it's YUNA who answers.

ilya's whole body takes a screenshot.

and shane in the bathroom atp heard the door open, so he almost hits himself in the face with the bathroom door trying to get out and do...

what, exactly?

so they're now in this WILD three way standoff, and yuna is being polite about it but is clearly 'what the FUCK are you doing here?' and shane genuinely for a moment thinks his mom is about to find out that he was not only about to have sex, but he was about to have GAY SEX.

nope.

"sorry, i forgot i asked if he wanted to come up later and watch the game"

"what game is on tonight?"

*shane aol dial-up noises*

ilya jumping in because oops guess this is a group project now, taking a WILD swing in the dark based on something that was on a tv in a bar he snuck into a couple of weeks ago: "uh, cars. car racing."

"you two are going to watch...nascar?"

ilya, has never heard the word nascar in his life: "yes. sounds very interesting. i love...nascars."

yuna ends up leaving the room so they can...watch?? nascar???....but also shane has never been less turned on in his fucking LIFE.

they actually do end up talking because now shane is paranoid his mom is going to be in the hall watching and waiting to catch him in a lie, and the more nervous he gets about it, the more lowkey ilya is worrying about it, too, so they do actually end up spending a chunk of time together.

and it actually?? ends with them talking to each other?? and finding out they actually LIKE talking to each other???

[penandinkprincess]

GOD yuna doing a little bit of research on nascar because she wants to support shane's interests and bond with him (even if she's??? a little thrown???? by this?? but okay?? he's trying out adulthood and getting to explore things beyond being a teenager at home. okay.)

but now shane is trapped in pretending to like nascar because his mom asked how watching it with rozanov was, and he's like, "...really fun! yeah, it was exciting. they, um, they go really fast."

now shane who doesn't give a FUCK about cars beyond Thing That Takes Me Places is stuck in summer watching fucking nascar with his mom. and david clocks that shane isn't into it, but he figures that maybe yuna? has found an interest in it after the topic came up? so shane is bonding with her over that? aw, how sweet.

yuna teasing him about danica patrick being too old for him so don't get any ideas, and shane is just How Did This Happen To Me.

poor guy just wanted to explore gay sex and now he's doing a photo op in jimmie johnson's car???

save him.

[penandinkprincess]

the idea of shane being SO fucking annoyed that he has to go to this shit only to get there and learn that instead of a swedish princess, he gets to hang out with very strong men who move heavy car parts around for a living who are EXTREMELY competent and good at what they do

[penandinkprincess]

So one thing about massive industrial ice makers they have in like, big kitchens, is that when its done making ice it releases it all with this massive crash into the freezer bit. (Speaking from experience). And it usually does this cycle late evening. So, cue large noise from the ice maker on the porch, Winnie levitating off the comfortable 10pm couch time and slamming her entire body into the back door. Shane, used to it, barely moves other than a long suffering "no, Winnie". Ilya? Ilya is flailing in the blanket, stomach used as a launch pad by a malamute, thinks the loons are finally attacking

CACKLING

they were too busy fucking like rabbits the first few days to just be casually hanging out in the living room during the evening, so they've had the i love you convo and are officially boyfriends and are relaxing

until from ilya's pov they are under fucking ATTACK

the !!!! of the moment made even worse by the way winnie goes WILD after hearing it

intruder!!! surely!!!! winnie LAUNCHING away and then YELLING the song of her people must mean intruder! shane!! why are you not responding with an appropriate amount of what the fuck is happening!!

[yeuziu]

"That is enough sharing for tonight, Barrett."

[piwonplaylist]

ep 4 in my mind

[jesterlesbian]

can’t think about ilya oscillating between being a really strict careful parent bc he wants to bubblewrap their kid and then also being insanely terrified he’ll become his father (or mother) and like. being afraid to even hold their kid bc he knows (thinks) he’ll fuck it up. we have to end it all

[cloudabserk]

afternoon nap

[wolveramster]

Alright guys, bear with me because this one has done Actual NHL Lore, but I think it’s cute.

Ilya has been wearing number 81 since he was 13. It’s his lucky number. He gets to Boston, and a veteran already has 81. Management suggests that he use number 18, and he goes with that, but secretly it makes him just a little sad.

At the first All Stars game, he wears 81 on his All Stars jersey and Shane mentions it off-hand after their hook up. “Oh hey, you wore 81 again. That’s nice, you were always 81 in Russia.”

Ilya is so surprised that Shane followed his pre-professional career closely enough to notice that he says something unexpectedly vulnerable. “Is for my mama. Her birthday. 8th of January.” He shrugs. “Is okay, 18. Still her birthday. North American way. Still works.”

Shane looks at Ilya with those big brown eyes and just says quietly, “Did you ask for your number when you got to Boston?”

And Ilya just blinks at him. “Ah, no. Office said unavailable, gave me 18. What do you mean, ask?” Shane gets out his phone and sends off a quick email. “Hollander?” Shane puts up his pointer finger: one second.

“Okay. I emailed Rolex. They’ll deliver a watch to McKay next week. That’s the traditional gift when you ask for a number. I asked them to include a card saying you’d like to wear 81. I didn’t explain why, but you can tell him that when he gets the watch if you want. I bet he’ll say yes.”

Ilya blinks again. “Hollander, you don’t have to do this. 18 is fine.”

“You like 81. This is a normal thing, Rozanov. Happens all the time. Not your fault no one told you the protocol.”

“What is protocol?”

“Like, the way things are normally done. It’s standard. Like, unspoken rules.”

“Figures that Golden Boy Hollander would even know the rules that aren’t written down.”

“Fuck off.”

….

….

….

“Thank you. I will pay for watch.”

“Don’t worry about it. I get a couple free ones every year.”

McKay says yes, Ilya starts wearing 81 again, and years later when Ilya tells Shane his mother is dead - and then later when he tells him how she died - Shane understands even better why 81 mattered. It shouldn’t surprise anyone that Shane’s first tattoo is a small 81 right over his heart.

And this is one of the moments that Ilya will look back on years later and realize that he really fell in love so early, and maybe Shane loved him way back then too.

[cosmicretreat]

[strawberry-crocodile]

the thing about capitalism is that at a certain point a product reaches its maximum audience and cant really be improved (at least not while remaining profitable), but capitalism requires a product provide infinite growth, and at that point the only way to increase profits is to raise prices, cut corners, and in the case of services start adding advertisements. this is just how the system works.

[charyou-tree]

Rent-seeking is the act of growing one's existing wealth by manipulating the social or political environment without creating new wealth.[1] Rent-seeking activities have negative effects on the rest of society. They result in reduced economic efficiency through misallocation of resources, reduced wealth creation, lost government revenue, heightened income inequality,[2][3] risk of growing political bribery, and potential national decline.

The actual economic term for this parasitic behavior is "Rent Seeking", as in "charging you rent for things that didn't used to cost money just because we can."

[paintedpolarbear]

"The classic example of rent-seeking, according to Robert Shiller, is that of a property owner who installs a chain across a river that flows through their land and then hires a collector to charge passing boats a fee to lower the chain. There is nothing productive about the chain or the collector, nor do passing boats get anything in return. The owner has made no improvements to the river and is not adding value in any way, directly or indirectly, except for themselves. All they are doing is finding a way to obtain money from something that used to be free." obtain money links to the wikipedia article for Parasitism which might be the most brutal diss I've ever seen on wikipedia ever

[ramslambsandwolves]

Shane and Ilya end up using a surrogate for their first kid and decide to just mix their sperm into the same vial and let randomness determine who the father is. And yes Ilya has already teased Shane that he is physically faster than him and he’s going to win. And Shane’s like ‘This is our child, not a competition and you only sometimes beat me at speed skill tests, so I’m just as likely to win asshole.”

Meanwhile the surrogate is watching them have this argument like ‘oh what cute, funny banter!’ for exactly 30 seconds before she realizes ‘oh no they are deadass trying to win this pregnancy.”

The stakes are raised further when it turns out they are having TWINS! and the excitement of that announcement is only dampened by Shane and Ilya both individually thinking “I’ve got to go 2-0 on that motherfucker who is also the love of my life and maybe the father of our children”.

The day finally comes and there they are- Aaron and Milo: the latter dark-haired and already dotted with freckles, first born and not happy about it. Aaron was smaller, light blond hair curling on his little head and quieter. It’s only when they put them together and Aaron reaches a tiny fist over to brush Milo’s cheek that he finally stills; as if he’d only been asking where his brother was this entire time. (A beautiful moment destroyed when Shane and Ilya are holding their new family and Shane whispers over the infant’s heads “If Milo is mine- I technically won.” Ilya wisely bites his tongue versus waking the entire neo-natal unit.)

Crucially, as the boys grow up, whenever they do something to piss off their Dad/Papa, they are sure to blame it on ‘Their other dad’s genes”. Milo spent almost 10 minutes in the Sin Bin last game? “It’s those Rozanov genes.” Shane says with a shake of his head. Aaron’s boyfriend and girlfriend and boyfriend found out about each other? “You’re just like your Dad when he was your age.” Ilya says wiping a faux tear from his eye. It’s never funny to Milo and Aaron. It makes their parents piss themselves laughing Everytime.

[penandinkprincess]

Winnie’s favorite time of year is not winter, as one might expect, but summer. Even in Ottawa, summer is too hot for a dog with such a thick coat, so this is when Winnie is allowed to have her precious ice cubes. It’s how the whole thing started: teenage Shane would give her ice cubes when the weather got hot and she’d go ham. Of course, now she spends summer in the lake at the heavily air conditioned cottage, but nothing beats a giant pile of ice cubes.

oh my god the cottage has a kiddy pool and an industrial ice cube machine just for filling up that kiddy pool just so winnie can stay cool in summer because she likes hanging out outside with shane even off the clock

[smokingrozanov]

Shane lying in bed with his little glasses on reading his before-bed two chapters of his book. When he finishes he turns to Ilya & goes “I would like to kiss now.” & Ilya who has been watching tiktoks out loud this entire time throws his phone to flop onto his husband. A nightly routine

[little-boo]

Shanebug who was SO wiggley when he was young. David would come home and barely have five seconds before being tackled by four year old Shane. Shane climbing David like a tree and settling himself with his arms around his neck.

or Yuna comes home from grocery shopping and five year old Shane is climbing onto the counter to grab different groceries and putting them away.

Shane using the kitchen drawers as steps, standing on counters to reach the upper cabinets. he was always careful with whatever loot he had grabbed, but when it came to his body he would throw himself to the floor and stand back up with no comment.

Yuna and David are used to it by the time he's five and making sure they knew he can do it.

[a-delicate-touch]

this just in: hyper independent control freak gets off on the idea of being completely helpless and at someone's mercy

[rozanovshane]

[normal-about-hollanov]

the concept of hollanov being approached for a biopic after they're out n retired n married. n though I do think they would turn it down, it IS very funny to imagine them having to have a meeting like ok. do we clarify. The Hook Up From Hell Years or No.

[im-out-of-it]

I thank Canadians everyday that heated rivalry was on a network where cussing and sex happens all the time and not something they would only add on until the last episode. I can’t imagine Shane not saying fuck whenever he fucking wants and only having kissing + fucking until the last episode like did you not read the fucking books and understand this is a gay series???

[mymultifandomhell]

hello ilya 🥰 / ?