Don't Look @measured-words - Tumblr Blog

Victoria Chang, from With My Back to the World: Poems; “The Islands, 1961”

stop letting miserable people on the internet convince you that you must have a concrete, well-constructed opinion on everything that has ever existed.

supreme-leader-stoat

lowpawly

this is my impression of what it would look like if the toddlers at my job could make traumacore edits about me

lowpawly

alright by popular demand here is more toddler traumacore

towards-toramunda

Idk man there’s something about being a bisexual in a pretty queer fandom online where you find comfort in being surrounded by queerness only to have a bunch of those same queer people aggressively make several posts about how the only valid ships are f/f and m/m and call f/m ships “het slop” and talk about them as if they’re lesser ships by nature of being f/m that really uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Anyway… bisexuals exist and I’m just over here playing with my dolls

smbc-comics

In the final round, they pelt you with eggcorns.

Check out the bonus panel on the site.

Upcoming book signings this summer.

───── ◆ ───── ◆ ───── ◆ ─────

SMBC ◆ PATREON ◆ INSTAGRAM ◆ BLUESKY ◆ STORE

Buy this comic as a print.

#smbc

hockeyfinches

i love Not to jump the gun here but with rozanov’s permission…? i think shane in that scene was feeling fiercely protective over another person for the first time in his life. so bowled over by the intensity of his own emotions that he stumbled back to his hotel room in a daze and immediately jerked off in the shower about it. “what if rozanov got arrested and i had to use my immense hockey wealth to bail him out of jail and it was winter in boston. so he had hypothermia. and he had to live with me while we sorted out the legal situation and i yelled at journalists for him and helped him with his paperwork and hired the best lawyer in the world and nursed him back to health and he was like “hollander……..you saved my life 🥺” and he fucked me soooo hard every night for stress relief (obviously he couldn’t fuck other people. due to the lawsuit) and we fell asleep in each other’s arms afterwards. because there’s only one bed in my apartment and he’s too tall for the couch” stuff like that. normal fantasies

hockeyfinches

top ten shane hollander shower fantasies:

• holding ilya’s hand while they cross a busy street full of hazards (potholes, roadworks, etc)

• rescuing ilya from kidnappers (he kicks down the door)

• rescuing ilya from a burning building (bridal carry)

• fighting in a gladiatorial ice hockey arena for ilya’s hand in marriage

• massaging ilya’s bad knee and ilya says with wonderment “wowww wow. shane you’re so good at this… you are better than every physical therapist on earth probably”

• saying “he asked for no pickles” to the mcdonalds cashier

• carrying ilya’s bags

• washing ilya’s hair

• applying o’keefes working hands cream to ilya’s calluses

• fuck or die

#heated rivalry

boybeetles

I forget straight people have a really bad habit of using top/bottom to mean dom/sub until I’m talking to someone who calls a women in a m/f relationship a ‘top’ and they get mad at me because I think they meant she’s pegging the guy. Apparently they mean she’s just kinda mean and controlling in bed. This is like the 3rd time this year this has happened.

boybeetles

Being into m/f ships is hard because you will look up “Top [women] Bottom [man]” and all the posts will be incorrectly tagged dombottom women/subtop guy and if you ask people to correctly tag stuff you are the bad guy. I want to her fucking him in his hole!!

boybeetles

BWHAHAHHAHA

pinehutch

You're never too old to:

Stay up late thinking about the character

Be haunted by the memory of the character

Wonder if you'll ever finish that fic you started (x 20)

Reread your old fic and ask if you'll ever write anything again

Be tormented by visions of a made-up guy (gn)

Unfortunately, neither your body, your phone's bedtime mode, nor your job agree

fuckyeahchinesefashion

Every time OP dances, her parrot flies along with her. OP says she never trained it on purpose and her parrot just loves doing this naturally. Sometimes it’ll just hop right onto her face. (cr 月下郭城)

katmaibearfan

Did you see the very sleepy bear on the river cam last night?

i did not -- i am often busy in the evenings, and i go to bed relatively early due to some medications that i take. so, i tend to miss things that happen in the evening or at night.

like, its 11pm on the east coast of the usa right now and this is the latest i have been awake in weeks. usually i am in bed at least an hour earlier than this, if not more!

measured-words

I believe it was 27 :3

dogpuppy

mandywondering

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

dietspam16

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this already

xueyangdaily

#the untamed

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

current state of the internet is a FUCKING EMBARASSMENT. was chatting with my grandma bout the history of crochet and knitting (and the comparative ages of those respective technologies) and i was like "oh YEAH and also that ancient greek fiber art we partly figured out from chemically testing the scoured bleached pigments of stolen statuary (tumblr knows what im talking about)—gimme 30 seconds to look up the name."

5 minutes and 3 search-engines later i am crying tears of blood screaming spitting blubbering in despair as my grandma attempts to digitally pat me consolingly on the back. the library of alexandria didn't burn it was "restructured" to "increase shareholder profits"

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

and i STILL CANNOT FIND THE TERM.

i am scouring the internet like the victorians scoured and destroyed all trace of joy and color from stolen relics for the LOST NAME OF THE ANCIENT PROCESS of textile-creation akin to knitting/crocheting/nålebinding that at least one academic/crafter used to recreate the leggings on this Glorious Motherfucker:

the google execs erased it. they bleached my bestie AGAIN from history...

lachrymose-lyricist

is this of any use

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

SO IT IS!!!

Archer statue from the Temple of Aphaia (ca. 480 BC) next to a reconstruction of its original paint job:

The leggings and sleeves would have created using a method called SPRANG which predates knitting and is over 3,000 years old. What's even sexier is modern artisans managed to recreate the entire outfit using the original method!

Mmm-HMM, love me a shapely thigh in harlequin hosiery. Put👏men👏in👏clingy-ass👏clothing👏again👏👏👏

Unfortunately english sources are hard to find, partly because Google's a shithole, but also because this textile project comes from a German museum, in Germany, where people tend to speak (and publish) in German. That said, the original link is to a short-but-sweet article I would have had no problem finding in 30 seconds a mere few years ago. fortunately i have clever beautiful insane people following me, but alas not everyone has such luxury. thanks to everyone in the notes who shoved themselves down this rabbithole with me!

in conclusion let us take a moment to sincerely wish Google a very burn in hell🙏

spin-the-wheel-polls

Hello. Since I've seen people submit finished wheels, I thought I'd submit a wheel I came up with. In this case, it's a wheel to tell you something that you can't do for a week.

https://wheelofnames.com/kch-gkt

this is a really really cool idea! Thanks!!!

You can't do this for a week!

How bad is this for you?

Its great! I can live with this

I already don't do this

It'll be annoying but I'll be fine

VERY BAD.

results/other

Remaining time: 10 hours 20 minutes

thanks inkarchivist for the submission!!

#watch movies #okay whatever