Loser

Stubborn and melodramatic; real class act.

[heavenlyflowergrocery]

[pasha-hasid]

[zahnegott-lives]

little slavic man

[yuri-alexseygaybitch]

Putting this in a Tumblr-friendly format

[frankensaint]

Just heard someone say “30 years ago, in 1993,” and stopped what I was doing. I froze. What do you mean 1993 was 30 years ago. That’s illegal

[anarchapella]

Please fucking lie to your employer. Like they don’t need to know your mental health issues or what drugs you do. Ffs

[thecolorsfucked]

its not lying if its to employers or cops

and look up ur rights on what they can and cannot ask u many places ban asking about ur record and transportation status and things like that resources will also tell u how they reword sketchy questions so ur prepared

[beemovieerotica]

here’s a quick guide for Americans with very common interview questions I’ve been asked:

🚫 illegal: how old are you?

⚠️ dicey: what year did you graduate?

✅ legal: are you 18 or older?

🚫 illegal: do you have kids?

⚠️ dicey: what responsibilities do you have at home?

✅ legal: can you adhere to this schedule?

🚫 illegal: do you have a disability or are you mentally ill?

⚠️ dicey: is there anything we should know about you that would interfere with your job?

✅ legal: can you perform these specific (named and described) duties?

🚫 illegal: have you ever been arrested?

⚠️ dicey: would you like to tell us about any problems you’ve had with the law?

✅ legal in 37 states: have you ever been convicted of a crime?

[fullmetalfisting]

I recently filled out an application that asked me what kinds of medication I was on. Naturally, I said I wasn’t on any because. That’s so illegal.

Lie on your job applications.

[realanimalfacts]

11. A ladybug is too small to operate a forklift.

[evilvillain123456789]

driving 90 minutes to my favorite empty lot to smoke 1 cigarette

[cognitohazardous]

then its literally not you girl

[reasoncourt]

god forbid women do anything

[toothcereal]

enough about man made horrors… what about the man made glories

[exprophet]

ibuprofen 

[toothcereal]

yeah ibuprofen exactly

[scoes]

people who are like "oh but you can just buy x thing online" are missing the point. its about the joy and journey

[scoes]

"just find it on amazon" what next. do you want me to throw rocks at babies too

[porcelain-animatronic]

This made me think of the thing Kurt Vonnegut said about buying envelops

[butchfagminotaur]

i'm both dumber and smarter than you think so don't underestimate me because i'm actually smart about a lot of stuff but also don't be surprised if i'm dumb about some other stuff hope that helps

[assiraphales]

a five year old had my phone & this is what he searched

[markv5]

Планы на вечер….

[wahbegan]

“Plans for the evening”

[whenilookedatyouthelightchanged]

i love you daylight savings time i love you sunset after 7pm i love you vitamin d i love you springtime

[aletheyass]

i must not afternoon nap. afternoon nap is the mind-killer. afternoon nap is the little death that brings total obliteration. i will face my afternoon sleepy tired and permit it to pass over and through me. and when it has gone i will turn the inner eye to see its path. where the afternoon sleepy tired has gone there will be nothing. only i will remain

[geeseareassholes]

I MUST NOT AFTERNOON NAP. AFTERNOON NAP IS THE MIND KILLER

[depsidase]

[sonshinin]