Peter Solarz
Show & Tell
Sweet Seals For You, Always
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
d e v o n
One Nice Bug Per Day
taylor price
JBB: An Artblog!
RMH
almost home
oozey mess
★
dirt enthusiast
Xuebing Du
blake kathryn
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
JVL
noise dept.
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Cosimo Galluzzi
seen from Croatia
seen from Spain
seen from Indonesia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Indonesia
seen from Indonesia
seen from Germany
seen from Brazil
seen from Ecuador
seen from Brazil
seen from Brazil
@mirandakstories
One time when the Cens are on a string of away games Ilya looks out the plane window and, out of nowhere asks, “what do you think clouds taste like?” Shane had been deep in strategy mode so he hmms a little before answering, “I mean they’re just water, except it’s like condensed and they would be way too cold to consume.” Ilya nods sagely before saying, “so, like slushy.”
Chat gpt you will never be her
okay but ilya and cliff being besties but ilya rooming with connors during the club episode makes me laugh because i'm just imagining him being such a demon to everyone that they had to put being his roomie on ROTATION
"SOS IT'S A SHIRTLESS AND YELLING NIGHT. I REPEAT. IT'S A SHIRTLESS AND YELLING NIGHT."
I fully believe, to the depths of my soul, that if one of the Metros said “I bet Rozanov has a tiny dick”, Shane “maybe he’s sick” “he’s not” Hollander would instantly say “he doesn’t” and then walk into the ocean
Cliff wants to be a good bro and a good ally so when he and Ilya hang out to watch a movie, he decides they’re gonna watch a Gay Movie. And what is the one Gay Movie every straight guy knows? Brokeback Mountain. And what is the only thing straight guys know about Brokeback Mountain? That it’s the gay cowboy movie. And hey that sounds fun, cowboys are fun
Shane gets a text two hours later from Cliff that’s a picture of Ilya on the couch with his head down between his knees and he’s just like “HELP I BROKE HIM IM SORRY I DIDNT KNOW THEY BROKE UP AND THEN THE ONE GUY GOT HATECRIMED TO DEATH I THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE GUNS AND TRAIN ROBBING”
Ilya, Drunk: I want-
The Centaurs, in unison: Shane Hollander to crush your skull between his thighs. Killing you instantly. We know.
hollanov wherein shane can understand russian better than he can speak. he has a few years under his belt studying it but just can't really speak as fluently as he wants to, he can hold simple conversations and longer ones just slower but still not as fluent as he likes. BUT he is better at listening and understanding it.
so when ilya wants to speak russian, he just does because shane understands him. he just responds in english. there are times shane encounters new words and ilya will translate it for him but for the most part, shane can understand ilya when he's speaking russian.
centaus locker room after practice and ilya's rattling out russian and shane answers in english. and theyre talking like that for a few minutes. ilya talking in russian. shane talking in english. the other centaurs cannot even guess the subject of their conversation because shane also peppers his answers with some russian words
I do think that whenever Ilya calls Shane and Shane doesn't pick up, Ilya leaves a voicemail. And the voicemail can be anything from, "Come find me," because they got separated at the mall, to "Hello hello, I miss you, oke bye" because Shane has been out of the house all day. There's also, "Coffee shop says they don't sell your tea anymore. Tell me what you want instead. I leave in three minutes. Bye-bye." and "I will not be home when you get here. Running away to join circus. Maybe will be back with Thai food. Mwah mwah."
This is also how Shane ends up getting into his car, seeing that Ilya left a voicemail, and unthinkingly playing it through the speakers of the car only for the deep voice of Shane's Russian-accented husband to boom, "Answer your fucking phone. Slut." with both the windows and moon roof open.
I like to imagine Rose’s brothers gave her shit for not sticking it out with Shane Hollander long enough for him to meet the family then when they find out it’s because Shane is gay they give her shit for not passing him along to one of them and she’s like??? you’re not gay??? to which they’re like !!!! everyone’s gay for Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov ain’t special
Boring facts (in my head) about parent David Hollander:
New people at work when introduced to him go "oh, like Shane Hollander" and he BEAMS at that and says "Yep!"
Has a picture of Shane on his desk and the same new people think its a joke until an old timer who probably met Shane at a bring your kid to work day clued them in
Would not let Yuna touch the college fund they set up for Shane until he was out of his rookie contract. What if Shane changed his mind about hockey? What if he got injured and needed a good education? Only conceeded when his son was a multi-millionaire
Only time he has ever gone to HR was when someone stole the baby Shane picture off his desk after he got famous. That's his baby!!! Give it back!!! There were so many memos and all staff emails that it did get returned one night, but a picture of it circulated online so now David only has PR photos at work
His lawyer is an old college friend who he catches up with at least once a year and who reviews the Hollander's will and life insurance policy each year with specific instructions to look after Shane. This annual tradition continues to this day. The lawyer buddy is going to be there for that grown celebrity professional sportsman no matter what
Was so excited when Shane started The Cottage project, and helped him with everything, including liaising with the builders etc. Was delighted to have the first a joint project with his son since school (he helped with art/science/show and tell)
Is really bad with technology but the nice young people at the office help (is not fully cognizant of the fact half the office is in love with him but does correctly suspect the other half want to marry his son)
Always knew he wanted to be a dad, and was devastated when it seemed like that wasn't going to happen, but didn't want to put that on Yuna who was already struggling with it
Sent congratulation cards and presents to all his buddies when they had kids anf was genuinely happy for then but it also killed him a bit. Unfortunately the conversation around men struggling because they wanted kids was not happening in the 80s/early 90s so he kept quiet (and passed that trait on to Shane)
Thought Shane was perfect from the moment he was born, and still thinks that. Can't concieve of why Shane thought he could let them down, he's literally always been Yuna and David's perfect baby
Gets out the good vodka again when he tells Ilya this one day and Ilya starts crying
Headcanon that Shane ask Harris for help for his social media, and Harris convinces him to do trends. Shane ends up with a video of "In your teens you’re gonna be nervous about introducing yourself to Russia's best teen hockey player. It’s very important that you do it anyway" and includes a montage of Hollanov wedding pictures. Ilya ends up tearing up when he sees it.
Ilya rozanov is so near and dear to me because yeah actually I too would be cocky asf and never shut up if I had SHANE HOLLANDER and his big brown eyes bouncing on it since my rookie season (the summer before) like sorry he wasn’t insane enough for me actually bc I would have been frothing at the mouth
your assigned ilya of the day is manspreading and chewing the fuck out of a hoodie string whilst feeling 20 shades of horny and competitive
shhh don't disturb him he's about to enter a 10 year long situationship let him cook
kinda feel like Ilya letting “Shane” slip out during the tuna melt sex scene was a result of Ilya letting himself moan Shane’s name during his jacking off seshs and he had gotten a little too comfortable letting it slip out whereas when Shane says Ilya’s name back it’s because it had never occurred to him he could say just Ilya’s name out loud so he tries it out and then it felt so good he spooked himself like a horse
I just know that Shane was one of those kids who didn't speak til three and when he did he busted out a full sentence one day and that sentence was, "Jason stole my FUCKING crayons" followed by a WHAP as Shane hit Jason and Jason hit the floor and Yuna and David were summoned immediately to the school to have an Important Conversation and David sat there the entire time staring at Yuna out the side of his head because Shane did NOT get those "interpersonal skills" from the mailman and Yuna's only response to the entire conversation was, "Well. Did Jason steal his fucking crayons???"
Twenty-three years later Ilya Rozanov dies on a floor in Ottawa after hearing this story for the first time.
yuna: how long have you two been dating?
ilya: uh. like. one spoonful of pasta ago. you were there. we have been fucking for like a decade tho
I’ve read a lot of “Ilya and the Centaurs are protective of Shane during their first game against the Metros” fics, an I LOVE them
but hear me out: Shane ask not to be coddled and Ilya resorts to ragebaiting him on the ice instead.
Ilya makes an offhand comment about keeping an eye on him during their game and Shane jumps because he’s a professional hockey player, has been for over a decade, he can take the heat thank you very much, and when Ilya points out the whole team will be probably coming for him, he’s like:
“Yes, I am the best fucking player in the league. The entire team coming for me is, like, a normal game night for me”
because he is The Shane Hollander and Ilya is kinda proud and very turned on by the sudden cockiness.
Until game night rolls around and ofc some of the team make comments about having Hollander’s back and Ilya has to swear he didn’t put them up to it (Shane won’t admit it but it makes him feel all warm inside, that’s his new team hell yes).
So 1st third he’s taking it like a champ but by the second, after he scores, the hits & chirps keep getting meaner & it’s getting to Shane. At some point he’s struggling to get up & Ilya skates by and says
“You good, Hollander, or do you need me to kiss your boo-boo?” with THAT tone and it makes Shane startle, but he chuckles and tells him to fuck off.
after that Ilya keeps chirping AT HIM, like he did back when they played against each other “no, no, don’t get up, I can score all the goals we need”, “taking nap, Hollander?”, “maybe you need to find softer sport, yes?”
And somehow Shane finds it easier to focus when he’s feeling annoyed and competitive and as usual Ilya is just pushing him to be The Best he can be (everyone else, Metros and Centaurs, is extremely confused by this… except maybe Hayden).
