Little Martin @misanthropicass - Tumblr Blog

“I hide because there’s more to me than what you see and I’m not sure you’d like the rest. I know that sometimes, I don’t like the rest.”

— Iain Thomas (via quotemadness)

millennial-review-deactivated20

floozys-deactivated20180908

vagina’s are able to stretch wide enough to give birth to a fucking baby and then return to it’s original size but of course being penetrated by that grass blade you call a penis is what’s going to make it “loose”

truth-behind-the-smile-you-see

Uhh. The baby doesnt come out of where the penis goes in…

babelien7-deactivated20150727

stay in school y’all

andysmovingcastle

i hate to be the bearer of bad news but the vagina and the vagina are, in fact, the same thing

maleksrami

They didn’t know.

tariqah

Interspecies lesbianism

onedeadkitty

It’s cute guys

rosalui

nothing but respect for MY lesbian big cat couple

butchflirt

Butch/Butch couple

lumpatronics

This is actually hella interesting, bc in simple terms, tigers are extroverts and lions are introverts. There’s more to it, but that’s the gist.

Whenever zoo’s tried to put lions and tigers in the same enclosures, the tiger would eventually try to groom the lioness and play constantly. The lioness would lose patience and snaps at them

So basically what I’m saying is that you have a regal and refined gf who stands at the edge of a balcony during parties, sipping champagne

Then you have the other girl who drank all of the little flutes on the servers platter, and is now drunkenly pointing at her gf and telling everyone that that’s her gf and doesn’t she look beautiful I love her so much

hillnerd-art

So I had to draw them in human form???

slinkanorabundyblr

You drew them in the corresponding ethnicities for their Geographic locations!!! Bless you, you have no idea how sick and tired I am of white human lion king characters.

queenbradbury

omg so yesterday i put a salt line on the pathway to our front door because i was fucking around and my brother was pretending to be a demon

and today we ordered pizza and the salt line was still there

and my brother went outside to sign for the pizza

and the pizzaman refused to step over the salt line, like he almost did and then he backed up and handed my bro the pizza and left; which is pretty ridiculous because it’s far from our door

so a heads up to everyone i’m pretty sure domino’s is actually run by demons??? kind of like how in men in black the post office is run by aliens

pep95

demono

dpdjohneggleg-deactivated201608

((”Not just pizza”))

cutest-angle-in-heaven

((”but eternal damnation”))

thestarsaredown

Alternate theory: It wasn’t that the pizza guy couldn’t cross the line of salt himself.

He just saw the line of salt and assumed that it was the only thing keeping you and your brother in, and he didn’t want nothing to do with your demon asses

thatdisasterauthor

Alternate alternate theory: pizza man is a slug.

quietstorm-thundathighs

facts

unaenanasinamor

ahhh honey, people lie about being sick

quietstorm-thundathighs

Oh illiterate honey that isn’t the topic of discussion

antique-scarecrow

always be suspicious when someone tries to derail a conversation by talking about people taking ‘advantage’ of a social safety net. brings this to mind:

glumshoe

Is there anything more nauseating than ‘expensive heterosexual wedding’ culture?

glumshoe

My dream wedding: outside, illegal fireworks, shoes are optional, mostly potluck, someone’s dressed as a wizard, I get to insult my relatives, hopefully some live music.