womb to tomb, sweetheart

tags

[pinnipetal]

It deeply saddens me that "pdf file" has become slang for pedo. Don't you dare disrespect my wife the beautiful portable document format ever again

[starlit-meadow]

i miss when subscriptions didnt really exist and you could just pay one time to buy an app or some software, and then just.. have it. without ads. without recurring costs. without more paywalls. it was just yours forever.

[blackheartbiohazards]

➡️ Content warnings on fiction are a courtesy. 

➡️ Not every medium of fiction and storytelling has or is expected to have content warnings or extensive tagging.

➡️ Print novels do not traditionally warn for content in any way.

➡️ Until AO3 came along, fanfiction did not traditionally warn for content in any significant way.

➡️ An author is only obligated to warn for content to the degree mandated by the format they publish their fiction on.

➡️ Content warnings beyond the minimum are a courtesy, not an obligation.

➡️ 'Creator chose not to warn' is a valid tag that authors are allowed to use on AO3. It means there could be anything in there and you have accepted the risk. 'May contain peanuts!'

➡️ Writers are allowed to use 'Creator chose not to warn' for any reason, including to maintain surprise and avoid spoilers.

➡️ 'Creator chose not to warn' is not the same thing as 'no archive warnings apply'.

➡️ It is your responsibility to protect yourself and close a book, or hit the back button if you find something in fiction that you're reading that upsets you.

➡️ You are responsible for protecting yourself from fiction that causes you discomfort.

[elismor]

That last one bears repetition.

You are responsible for protecting yourself from fiction that causes you discomfort.

[tomatoluvr69]

Get enough sleep get enough fiber get enough iron wear sunscreen every moment of every day dont get dehydrated don’t slouch brush perfectly floss too keep your tires full of air get your oil changed check your brakes and alignment get new tires get your yearly inspection get your yearly pelvic exam remember your flu and covid shot research the candidates for district attorney take your recycling to the curb on the right day try to limit red meat, alcohol, ultra processed food, sugar and sitting down don’t use screens before bed exercise constantly you’re not socializing or being touched enough meditate daily make sure your clothes are constantly acceptable wash your hair before there’s even a hint of grease don’t have any unsightly hair anywhere don’t drink foo much coffee or sugary drinks or carbonated drinks or anything with citric acid or your teeth will rot change your sheets every few days and your pillowcases daily and you should be also throwing out your pillows every year or two apparently don’t use any kind of cutting board due to the unique drawbacks of each available kind walk 15 min after every meal don’t eat right after brushing but also don’t brush thirty minutes after eating yet somehow brush your teeth every morning and be on time for work also and make sure you’re weight training and make sure you’re doing everything you can to prevent eventual osteoporosis and arthritis moisturize your skin every day keep your prescriptions filled try to avoid being stressed at all costs because it’s the silent killer prioritize your mental health but don’t let any of these habits slip and don’t lose your important documents and keep the batteries in your carbon monoxide detector fresh and deep clean your fridge often and clean your entire house often and exchange pleasantries with every acquaintance and keep yourself polished and presentable at work and stretch before bed every night and buy new kitchen sponges when they wear out and make sure you have laundry detergent and dish soap and olive oil and only eat healthy fats and make sure you’re doing everything to prevent the skyrocketing rates of colon cancer in young people and soak all your berries so that they actually get clean and wash all your produce and buy organic so you aren’t ingesting four million pesticides and avoid animal products but also eat a lot of lean meat and dairy for the protein and eat 30g of protein at every meal and prioritize whole grains and complex carbohydrates and moderate your sugar intake and replace your toothbrush every six months and your running shows every 90 miles clean your car out often and make sure no one smashes your tail light in the parking lot and keep a printout of your up to date proof of insurance in your glovebox even if you don’t own a printer and put a sizeable portion of each paycheck into retirement portfolio replace your windshield wipers and close your kitchen down every night and eat two servings of dark leafy greens per day and do all of this and still get enough rest so that you’re able to give the 40 hour workweek your all. And if you fail to do any of these things you’re a disgusting failure slob

[rowlfthedog]

[natalieironside]

Due to my weird childhood and my weird brain, I have this very unhelpful compulsion to conceal Everything I do from Everyone. I Cannot be observed performing any action, no matter how mundane. My nervous system is convinced I'm gonna, like, Get In Trouble for eating food at dinnertime or sleeping in my bed at bedtime.

I've taken to asking myself, "Okay does this task actually require subterfuge or am I stealing a balloon on Free Balloon Day"

[natalieironside]

I see from the notes that we're all havin a normal one 👍

[natalieironside]

#i cannot be listening to music or watching tv in my own home!!

If anyone sees me reading a book they will hunt me for sport

[i-will-not-be-caged]

I feel like we need to talk more about how fucking boring depression can be. I pick up a book and can’t read more than a few sentences, a chapter if I’m lucky, before I can’t focus. I knit two rows of something and then can’t continue. I scroll through all the different options of shows I haven’t watched without clicking on any of them. I hop from app to app looking for content that will spark literally any single emotion. It’s not even 10am and I already feel like I’m just waiting until it’s time to go back to bed.

I hate it I hate it I hate it

[ena333333]

fake screencap

[margonika00]

Danger walks nearby

Woof x)

[luchigeon]

modern time doodle

[peculiarfellow]

He's so helpful. He just thinks he can just take and push anything and move em somewhere else

extra:

pat pat pat

[queenrojpag]

I believe the future will be very interesting. "Interesting" isn't the word.

[kaity--did]

Weaponized incompetence my ass just weaponize it back. Once my dad tries to pull the “but I don’t know how to clean the counters as well as you” on my mom and she said “ok honey I’ll show you” and she made him stand in the kitchen and watch her clean the counters. Then she pulled out a bottle of chocolate syrup and proceeded to spray the entire kitchen in chocolate, hand him the sponge and said “okay now it’s your turn”

[ohbeesneeze]

[breelandwalker]

Weaponized Pettiness is an appropriate response to Weaponized Incompetence.

[byjove]

GUESS WHO TURNED 30 TODAY!

That’s right! The world’s oldest (documented) cat! Her name is Flossie. She was born a stray in Liverpool in late 1995.

[arlertt]

graveyard of deleted eremin fics

Dafter anon came to my inbox looking for We Were Kings - a long lost Eremin fic that was deleted some years ago (and my fav fic of all time), I decided that I wanted to share the few that I have managed to get my eremin-starved hands on during my 1+ year of being back in this fandom. Enjoy! 

We Were Kings by Seasideimprovisation 

description: Armin’s life is a tide coming in fast: bullies, loneliness, a secret he’ll never tell, and thoughts of getting the hell out keeping him afloat. It just takes one chance meeting with a dark-haired boy that has him sucked out into the ocean, with no choice but to sink or swim. 

(my thoughts: i would both of my fists to read this again for the first time please do yourself a favor and read this masterpiece/. fair warning it can be a lil emotionally heavy at times. warnings are posted throughout chapters )

The Fake Boyfriend Experience by Seasideimprovisation 

description:  Years after coming to terms with his not-so-platonic feelings for one his best friends, Armin makes a serious error in judgement when he offers to pretend to be Eren’s “fake boyfriend” to make his ex-boyfriend, Jean, jealous. The change in their relationship, though an elaborate lie, becomes complicated when it turns out Armin’s feelings are not as suppressed as he’d thought they were. A College AU. 

(my thoughts: such a fun read!! loved it a lot - THE fake dating au we all need) 

Days Are Gone by Seasideimprovisation 

description: (theres none lol)

(my thoughts: its a good in-verse fic!! from what i remember it is a oneshot) 

Honestly by Phollie

description:  They’re clumsy at this, their movements frantic and unrehearsed, but Armin doesn’t care; if this is to be the last time they do this – if they are to die tomorrow, or the next day, or the next – then he’ll be damned if he doesn’t make this worth it. [Eremin, first time.]

(my thoughts: uhhHuHhUhHuHh,… GOOD FIC. VERY GOOD) 

-

Thats all i have ! As i scan the eremin tag on ao3 quite frequently (lol) I do notice that the amount of fics available actually goes down from time to time - so I would encourage that if you do find a fic you love, make sure you save it! Happy reading !

[sopuu]

but the weather app said it wouldn’t rain…?!

[darypeacher]

(Post-credits scene)