Mind Scapes and Silhouettes

Lovely fuckin dreams of reality

[mitchswears]

Why am I me and not someone else?

Nemo, Mr. Nobody And my first philosophical question in my childhood

[mitchswears]

I'm so fucking tired of myself ☺️

[unfathomablesanity]

Literally everytime I see myself in the mirror 😐🤕👽

[mitchswears]

Literally telling myself, pointing at the mirror

[mitchswears]

[mitchswears]

Comfort in darkness

I push people away, I do.

When we get hurt, we become our own world

If it doesn't get any better, we dwell into pessimism

It's easier that way. Forgiving is difficult, forgiving the world, forgiving yourself.

We dwell with darkness, we are more welcomed there.

There's comfort in anger, comfort in panics, comfort in sadness, comfort in darkness

We learn to hold our breaths, hold everything in

But everything crashes like a train wreck eventually and you won't be able to keep them together 'cause you've already poisoned yourself inside enough

The darkness won't be able to comfort you anymore, anger won't, sadness won't, and certainly not panicking.

You're just holding on a cliff with broken glass as floors, painful to imagine right?

And because that is all you see, you see relief in letting yourself go. We let ourselves go.

Yes we loosen up, but we actually lose our own self.

When you lose yourself, where do you get yourself back? To the things that hurt you.

We do this over and over and over again, we want people to hurt like we do. Becoming comfortable with darkness is the only thing close to home, the only thing that make us lose ourself.

But sometimes you learn, the feeling of that vast hopelessness, to just let your body go. You're just waiting when to let go.

I'm waiting to let my body go.

[unfathomablesanity]

Altogether with gen 2. It would be lovely.

[mitchswears]

Re-fucking-watching Skins in 2018, like craving that you must watch. You know it hurts like fucking hell, but you still can’t prepare yourself from the trainwreck this show gives you

and you fucking watch it again anyway. 🙄😭💔

[unfathomablesanity]

Dialogue of Silence

What hurts is when you’re both just lying in bed, in the dark, his arms embracing behind you, and he touches one closed eye to know if you’re crying again.

[mitchswears]

I am pro-decision pro-choice

Anti-abortion people: WTF NO TO ABORTION! YOU DEMONS, KILLING LIFE. Just to feel young! etc etc etc

Pro-abortion: IT'S NOT LIFE UNTIL IT IS BORN! Think of others who can't handle it/ think of the rape victims who can't even look at themselves! What more bearing the children of rapists?? Etc etc

(mean while, so many children from the addicted, children roaming the streets for money, babies in dumpsters, or over populated in orphanages)

Anti-abortion: OMGOMG, this world is so sad! What has people become??

(The anti-abortion asked to take care or feed the homeless children, asked to do a charity for them, or even adopt them if they are that sympathetic.)

Anti-abortion: *looks the other way, doesn't batte an eyelash, or can't even volunteer for a program they supported*

💁🙎?

Feel free to be triggered by this post, no fucks, good day 😊

[mitchswears]

I’m not exactly sure what to feel from here There are more doctors, more prescribed drugs My mind is fucked, lost as ever How limp can a dead body get with a soul aspiring to detach? How limp can a dead body get without dreams? How limp can my soul get when I try living?

[mitchswears]

Relationship with Darkness

Is it not normal to be around the dark places so much? Just to prove to myself that there’s something darker than my mind’s own cloud.

[mitchswears]

All sad people like poetry. Happy people like songs.

Vanessa Ives

[mitchswears]

My mind wants to stop existing

[mitchswears]

Siezures and Drugs

Where do I find my own mind How does my mind work Why does it do it

Little did I know then Little did we know So little I didn’t even bother knowing Until I figured out The confusion and the nauseating turmoil of images They are not memories of nostalgia Nor are they deja vu

They are brain waves Of the wrecked nerves in my sleep The damaged internal physicality in me My very chaotic brain, ill and confirmed It’s neither mystic nonsensical callings Nor psychosomatic delusions

The medications warn you Your emotions will be wips of storms But no one warns me I will be alone To assure me

On medication, Every part of you melt and supressed One tablet skipped, All the episodes missed you get.

But there is one thing there is for sure From the beginning Always have been thinking When I always thought It was all just emotional crisis

All is still on the verge Of death.

[mitchswears]

Everyone I know always has a plan for their life. A plan to go on. I could imagine mine… Once. When I was younger than I am, I planned what I want my life to be. But it just stopped ever since I can remember. Maybe three or a couple of years ago. So where am I now? All I can think about with the word “future”, or “tomorrow” is just TODAY. And ever since I stopped imagining, planning, or dreaming… It must be because I’ve given up everyday. I’ve stopped because maybe I know I won’t be long. I’ve stopped because maybe it could be any day now. Hell, I’m even so surprised I’ve survived this far in my life. This isn’t sadness, and I know it’s not just about empathy. I don’t even know what’s going on. It hurts to move everyday. It feels like I live in my head – a head building a whole other personality created by a black mist. All I know is… I need help, I hate interacting because it makes me feel worse when people tries to make me feel better, and sometimes I’m in the brink of Wanting to end.

[mitchswears]

Have you ever thought that the space where all the universes are in is maybe just one big black hole? It's too big that it created it's own group of solar systems. Everything in space is in motion because of the negative mass, a black hole is nothing yet it is infinite. And that we are in the wasteland of the actual big outer space and we are floating in complete nothingness.

[mitchswears]

I said “No” twice, but still he kept going. I said “No” for the last time, he begged with force in his words. I didn’t even have the time to think for myself. And so, I will always regret that memory as much as I want to forget it. And the worst thing is, I did not dislike it because I didn’t know that it was already wrong. The sad thing about it is, it will break me over and over everyday.