Poetic Shit

From my extremely loud mind

[unfathomablesanity]

I ruin things before they ruin me, and I end up ruining everything.

M

[unfathomablesanity]

we work on being okay while my soul is already rotting away

MSR

[unfathomablesanity]

To be mad in a deranged world is not madness, it's sanity.

TheEndOfTheFuckingWorld

[unfathomablesanity]

Literally everytime I see myself in the mirror 😐🤕👽

[unfathomablesanity]

Drive away from the city lights

[unfathomablesanity]

Altogether with gen 2. It would be lovely.

[mitchswears]

Re-fucking-watching Skins in 2018, like craving that you must watch. You know it hurts like fucking hell, but you still can’t prepare yourself from the trainwreck this show gives you

and you fucking watch it again anyway. 🙄😭💔

[unfathomablesanity]

Dialogue of Silence

What hurts is when you're both just lying in bed, in the dark, his arms embracing behind you, and he touches one closed eye to know if you're crying again.

[unfathomablesanity]

I don't want to be myself anymore

I thought I was doing great. I thought I'm healing. I thought everything passed by me. I thought medication is taking it's course for me. I thought my mind is mended. I thought I'm going to be happy. But everything is changed and we can't erase scars like magic. Drugs benumbs it and I have got to convince myself that it's here to stay.

[unfathomablesanity]

I am my own let down

In highschool, I got suspended a lot for being late. Sometimes our teacher liked to humiliate us, late students, by asking permission to everyone to join the class or being locked out infront of all the mates to see. So I skipped most of the morning classes, wait for the next period and proceed. I was never really good at anything but scribbling. I'd do better at scribbling than listening. But after art school, how good am I really? It's been a year since I created a genuine art that came from me. It feels like I'm a vegetable stripped off of moisture. Like my hands are broken. Or my mind is? I'm hoping to mend it today.

[mitchswears]

Today I closed all the curtains, the room is dark. And I am buried with loud music, just so I can’t hear my mind. But then again, as much as I resisted, I am swallowed by a monster from this invisible mist that is always present in the corners of the room. It is gray and eerie, tempting and addicting, maddening and disgusting, and dark. As melancholy screams from the pounding of my chest and pours from the lashes of my eyes, everything feels like a blur. Today, I changed my cutter blades with new ones. Then I appease. And so I sleep.

(via mitchswears)

Why do we suffer while we're awake?

[unfathomablesanity]

What is Real

Do you want to know something real?

There is no such thing as happiness.

Sure, we can tell what is Love. Let us show and feel, and enjoy what is Love. We can be kind and make a difference. We can be knowledgeable, we can be full of wisdom.

But there is no such thing as real happiness. Genuine Happiness. Humanity is sadness. And a liar, there is nothing to pity in the world. How simply people can just say “happy”

There is no such thing. There is only delusion.

[mitchswears]

Have you ever thought that the space where all the universes are in is maybe just one big black hole? It’s too big that it created it’s own group of solar systems. Everything in space is in motion because of the negative mass, a black hole is nothing yet it is infinite. And that we are in the wasteland of the actual big outer space and we are floating in complete nothingness.

(via mitchswears)

[unfathomablesanity]

If you think loving is easy as black and white, killing you should be right.

mitchswears

[unfathomablesanity]

If I had not broken free from you, I would not have overcome my being fearful.

For the love of myself

[mitchswears]

I once loved a person The second time straight after my heart break.. He was a sad one for so many reasons And I thought he was already mine to take I thought it was love But he gave me nightmares He gave me more problems to solve And i did my best, because I always care He asked me what infatuation means And I instantly knew the hurtful thing he meant With disbelief, I watched his sad joy as he unbuttoned my jeans I let it slip because I was limp, I felt used and bent I was nowhere and everywhere I should’ve stopped loving before But I thought, “what if I’m one of the few good left that care?” So here it is, another chance that he eventually tore I tried to fix him, I thought I could But he got me broken more than ever instead I guess I do love more than I should But, “I still love her”, that’s what he said As I try to comprehend his obvious lies Explaining it’s not a thing to be worried He turns away with another’s kiss mark he hides I’ve never felt my mind and body that sullied I know I said I was broken countless of times “But what am I now? You’ve made me a sport” I should’ve known, he was only worth a dime I felt so DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF and ASHAMED for putting up with a person his sort! He used his sad life to get to me And made religion a reason to leave me How pathetic can a being be? Although there’s another thing I realized, that he was the shallow kind For four months, confused and forced Until now I cry most nights, what have I done to myself This kind of destruction, EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE I HAVE TO CURE Even suicide is better to think about, hell, how the blade is just above the shelf The trauma he planted inside my head Worsened my mind that was already loud IF I COULD JUST UNDO ONE THING FROM THEN, IT WOULD BE MEETING HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME IN TOWN.

mitchswears (via mitchswears)

[unfathomablesanity]

Once I loved a person He was my everything So I showed him my good intentions And I gave him everything I was happy because what I thought was mutual Turned out one sided You see, he had a ritual Patterns that reminded me of the dad I never had He was a good person But he still did the wrong things He knows about it But still wanted to feel good about it He must’ve understood how I felt Because he didn’t want to be told For the many unforgettable touch we did under our belts He abused me emotionally, with the grip I gave him power to hold I was dragged, and ripped and burnt With the words and renditions he threw like blades I was just a girl, and I thought I was JUST hurt I was too slow to realize, the life he tried to portray. When this guy reads this… I made some sense and started to distance myself from you Cause I thought what I needed was space But with the limitless chances I gave, I knew My vice was you, the only thing I needed to break And look at us now The regret in your eyes when you pass by me The things I did not want to allow Happened anyway, but it set me free Though years have gone by We are distant and still friends So we’ve never had a proper goodbye But it’s great that we had our end You are unforgettable Because you were my proudest failure I know I have been broken countless But after you.. Breaking has become my nature.

mitchswears