That Damn Anonymoose

Meant to be a fandom blog but I just post anything I like

[rainbow-femme]

They move in together full time and Ilya notices that Anya acts differently with Shane than she does with him, more quiet and less playful, and he worries that means she doesn’t like Shane or is jealous, so he hires a dog trainer to come over and see if there’s anything they need to do to help

After a while of talking about how Anya acts the trainer says there’s nothing to worry about, Anya likes Shane just fine, it’s just that she sees him as the boss and is acting accordingly

And Ilya is like. But. I’m the one who adopted her? And raised her before Shane got here?? And the trainer is just like yeah well she sees you more like an equal. And Ilya is like WAIT she thinks Shane is in charge of both of us?? And the trainer is just like well do you interact in a way that would make her think that?

Ilya’s life flashes before his eyes as he thinks of all the times Shane has come over with a snack for Ilya and a treat for Anya, or all the times Shane has announced they’re all going for an after dinner walk, or pets Ilya’s hair and tells him he did a good job at practice, or the fact that he uses the same warning tone with Anya when she misbehaves as he does with Ilya when he’s causing problems on purpose

Shane comes home to Ilya with his face in his hands going oh god I’m not Anya’s dad I’m her brother and she thinks we’re both your pets. And Shane just goes. What.

[seashellronan]

the person who realised you could rearrange the letters in gossip girl to read “go piss girl” truly one of the great minds of our generation, madam your legacy

[lavenderprose]

Sometimes when Ilya is having a not so great day he sends Shane a dick pic because he knows it will give him a boost of serotonin to see those three dots bounce for an obnoxious amount of time only to get some fuckass response like "Ok" or "You can't send me that without warning" and then Ilya will say "You like?" and Shane will say "Yeah." WITHOUT FAIL. It's their little fucked up version of a kiss on the cheek.

[nextstopparis]

“i asked chatgpt—”

ok well i asked the cryptic fucking dragon that was imprisoned underground 20 years ago and he told me that no one can choose or escape their destiny so. he may have also told me i have a soulmate in the guy whose guts i hate but i dont really have time to think about that right now

[16th-of-a-twigg]

Sir Leon doesn't get paid enough to deal with their bullshit... Ko-Fi

[targetedknowledge]

[pixiecaps]

big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings

[pixiecaps]

they couldnt take the heat

[doctordotdj]

[crunchymayo]

Lord, grant me the strength to throw away this box that i'll never use, the courage to throw away this box that i'll never use, and the wisdom to throw away this box that i'll never use

[suraks-sweet-tits]

I just realised people who only watched the tv show don't know for a fact that Ilya did in fact score more that 50 goals his rookie season. If I am remembering right the show says it is looking good for it at the all-stars but doesn't say for a fact he did it. So I need you to know That crazy motherfucker did it. He and Shane actually scored the same number of goals their rookie season(67) because they are cosmically intertwined and fated to be together

[hjartasalt]

Mods are asleep post forbidden tits

[hjartasalt]

Huh

[hjartasalt]

Huh

[hjartasalt]

Huh

[hjartasalt]

Hhhhhhh

[anothermarkiplierfan]

Perfectly balanced as all things should be…

[0v9]

[lexeirikrleif]

[fruitloopghosty]

[offbrandbeethoven-blog]

i

[immortalcheesewedge]

balance

[chaotic-fluff3]

One of my fav BBC Merlin headcanons is that Arthur knows all the castle gossip cuz Merlin just blabs all the info he hears around the castle to him when they’re alone.

Merlin: *entering Arthur’s room to pick up laundry* “You’ll never guess what Mary said about Cassie.”

Arthur: *wants to know cuz he’s invested at this point* “What do I pay you to do Merlin? Listen to gossip in the Tavern all day?”

Merlin: *ignores him and continues the story*

And yes, Merlin does tell Arthur important stuff too like which guards are slacking off or who could be (is definitely) a traitor. But mainly Arthur is invested in the years long saga of a kitchen maid and a laundry maid that seem like they hate each other but Merlin caught them kissing recently and he *needs* to know what’s happening with them.

(Leon has overheard many… MANY… things he’d like to gossip about. He cannot for it would go against his beloved Knights Code. But he’s seen some shit. He would like to stop knowing things. Leon is tired. #LetLeonSleep2026)

[adhd-merlin]

I love how they made gaslighting one of Gaius's main character traits

[adhd-merlin]

@dollopheadsandclotpoles I hope this is real because it's hilarious

[unfortunatelymerlin]

#if you look at gauis' entire everything for more .5 seconds you're like 'wow shakespearen levels of moral complexity here' #but merlin is constrained by being a genre of show that can only be described as 'Hijinks' and so it's like #ah yes that's our ensemble cast's designated Funny Old Man. look at him he's raising an eyebrow in disapproval! #and like he is a damn funny old man icon! legend! beleaguered mentor dad to wizard jesus and babysitter to the magic hypochondriac king #except by rights its like hang on dude shouldn't you be like fundamentally broken inside. #stood by and facilitated the genocide of your own people and destroyed a way of life you had dedicated yourself to preserving #tried to save as many people as you could but had to essentially be choosy about how many you saved to be able to help more but also #to keep your own head. oh and also the guy who ordered the genocide is one the only friends you have left and you genuinely care about him #even though he's patently nuts and is directly responsible for the deaths of half your other friends. and he's your BOSS. #you end up looking out for young vulnerable terrified extremely powerful magic users in the heart of camelot #one of them you (tho this is hardly only half gauis fault tbf) inculcate into your own paranoia and loyalty to the monarch that #he becomes a shell of himself dedicated to protecting the king more than any of the ideals he came to the kingdom with #and the other just about goes mad after years of terror that the man she loves as a father would burn her a death for being who she is #and was so desperate for community she went looking for it in ways that went very Wrong when community was in fact there the whole time #but was lying to her face about it out of (genuine but misplaced) paternalistic care #literally gauis what the hell. i want to study you like a bug #sorry this was a funny post and look what ive gone and done to it dhejd

@princessithaca

[girlinstembuck]

My favourite character of all time probably

[fan-a-tink]

merlin from Arthur's perspective is actually so wild. like, merlin has the context of their great destiny and is knowingly working to bring it about but Arthur... to Arthur merlin is this random boy who turned up in Camelot one day and made him look like a fool in front of everyone then saved his life and was 'rewarded' by becoming his servant. and like the next week, Arthur already trusts merlin so much and jokes around with him and literally goes on life threatening quests just because merlin had this idea or merlin drank poison for him. like, Arthur doesn't know about the destiny stuff, and he does these things only because he likes this slightly odd guy who is terrible at his job and roasts Arthur 24/7. it just brings home the fact that merlin is Arthur's first real friend, that he must have been super lonely before merlin, and just how much Arthur genuinely likes merlin.

[beyond-crusading]

"I asked ChatGPT-" Well I asked the immortal Dragon that Uther chained in the caves beneath Camelot and HE told me to commit treason

[thisfeebleheart]

You're secretly one of the funniest guys I know. Well, that secret, you don't have to keep.

[ilyapasta]

Enough about sadness and the closet! I think Shane Hollander is an absolute ball on vacation. I think he likes that vacation is an organized time to relax, sanctioned off from training and working and winning. When he actually lets loose, like when they go to Ibiza after the wedding, he’s the guy in the bar who’s like “gimme a drink with a little umbrella in it Ilya, like in the movies” and he and Ilya are the type who would meet like a random couple in their hotel and talk to them at the bar for hours and see them in the lobby and be like “oh look it’s you! Enjoy the sunshine!” And Shane would post a screenshot of the weather app showing 80 degrees and sunny every day to instagram and be like “when will it end amirite?” And he’s got the sunscreen and they’re on a gay beach and he realizes he can put sunscreen on Ilya’s back and they’re just a couple guys on vacation with other apathetic gays and for the first time he blends in while being his real self! He’s got so many patterned shirts and tiny shorts for Ilya to ogle him in! He wants to get fucked every day but he also wants to go on excursions to waterfalls and shit! Think of their inside jokes from vacation! For months into the next season they’re like “that guy with the penguin statue is coming to get you” and nobody knows what the fuck they’re talking about! Shane wants to see the world with Ilya outside of hockey rinks! And maybe inside. Ilya there’s a game in Switzerland just over the border I think we can make it—

[lavenderprose]

Hollanov PDA in the locker room yeah okay. I see the vision but also it doesn't take the form of kisses and hugs it takes the form of Ilya putting his fingers in Shane's open mouth mid-sentence. Shane biting Ilya's shoulder when he passes by. Manly butt smacks that DO linger just a little too long. Playing slaps and hitting HARD and yes it's foreplay. Actually, any kind of smack or slap you can imagine. Ilya just. GROWLING in Shane's face. Shane winking at Ilya and Ilya getting cuteness aggression so hard that he has to ball his hands up or he's going to put his husband in a headlock. Actually yeah there he goes.