Hey Mordor, do you copy?

MordorIsCalling on AO3. Tolkien stuff & Bagginshield, Geraskier & the Witcher, TAD, TUA, plus some other things I cry about. She/her, allegedly 25, 🇵🇱. I’m too lazy to tag most of the time.

[mordoriscalling]

Welcome, tumblr traveller!

If you’re looking for some dumb fantasy gays, I’ve got something for you. Below the cut you’ll find a list of my Bagginshield and Geraskier fics. (Plus one about Klaus from The Umbrella Academy).

I also have a ko-fi!

Your donations would be invaluable, if you wish to support me on my own journey. In exchange, I can offer my original works:

Poetry

Unhappy Love Poems: Sun Touch A Lunch Break On a Summer Language Course

Now, as for the fanfics:

Bagginshield

All Hope Lost - ▶️, Post-BOTFA AU, Bilbo/Thorin and Bilbo/dwarf OMC, 

Thorin Oakenshield the Ravenkeeper - ✅, One Shot, Shire Husbands,

Bilbo Baggins’s Greatest Burglary series (✅): - Master Burglar - Post-BOTFA AU, Everyone Lives, Crack, - A Fine Thief Indeed - Post-BOTFA AU, Outsiders POV, Gossipy Dwarves, - Steals Once More (Again and Again) - Bilbo Remains In Erebor, One Shot, Established Relationship,

The Handkerchief - ✅, Post-BOTFA, Everyone Lives, Pining Thorin,

NBT Modern Royalty AU series (▶️): - You Know Me Too Well - ✅, Arranged Marriage, Secret Relationship, - Forever & Ever More (”You Know Me Too Well” epilogue) - ✅, One Shot, Weddings,

A Bunch (and A bench) Of Confessions - ✅, Modern AU, Meet-Cute, Dialogue-Only.

Geraskier

I will watch the world burn without you - ✅, Modern Cirme AU, Songfic,

The Singer and the Sailor AU series (✅): - Stay or Sail Away - Modern AU, Fake Dating, Famous Singer Jaskier, Royal Navy Officer Geralt, - Homecoming - One Shot, Modern AU, Long Distance Relationship, - 48 Weeks - Long Distance Relationship, Developing Relationship, Dialogue Heavy, - Life (of) Surprise - Established Relationship, Marriage Proposal, - Seeing Him for the First Time Again - One Shot, Marriage, Temporary Amnesia.

Secret - ✅, Pining Geralt, Pining Jaskier, Love Confessions, Foreign Language, Background Lambert/Aiden, Developing Relationship,

The Second Waltz - ✅, Regency AU, Arranged Marriage, Ballroom Dancing,

The Colour-Magic Theory - ▶️, Canon Divergence, Ciri as a child of Geralt and Jaskier’s magic, Fae Jaskier,

Cigarettes After Sex (The Art of Letting Go) - ▶️, modern AU, Rommates, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends With Benefits, Background Geralt/Yen and Jaskier/the Countess,

Everything I Am, All That You Are - ✅, Soulmate AU, Modern with Magic, Post-Break Up, Getting Back Together,

The Shrike and the Lark - ▶️, Warlord AU, Warlord Geralt, Jaskier and Renfri are twins who rule Creyden, Yennefer/Renfri slowburn,

 The Red String - ✅, Modern AU, Fake Dating, Getting to Know Each Other, Singer Jaskier, Asshole Valdo, Angst with a Happy Ending,

You Make Me Brave - ✅, Modern AU, Post-Breakup, Getting Back Together, Love Letters,

No Winners - ✅, Modern AU, Oneshot, Unrequited Love, Geralt/Jaskier and Jaskier/Valdo, Sad Ending.

The Umbrella Academy

Melodrama - ✅, One Shot, Klaus/Dave, Klaus thinking about their romance.

If you’d like to be my guest for longer, you can follow me here on tumblr or subscribe to me on AO3. I post my works on both platforms.

Lots of love, hugs, and safe further travels! 💛

~ M.

[prophetic-writer]

Becoming a writer is great because now you have a hobby that haunts you whenever you don’t have time to do it

[rcjackie]

cultural misunderstandings fic idea/headcanons/word dump for bagginshield bc they have consumed my brain

!!!cw for swearing!!!

I find it HILARIOUS when no one else is down bad for Bilbo like Thorin is. combine that with cultural misunderstandings and you have the perfect rom com

and its not like Bilbo is some dwarven beauty who is handsome by hobbit standards but gorgeous by dwarf standards. it’s just that, while the rest of the company see Bilbo as just Some Guy, not particularly outstanding in the looks department but definitely not unattractive either—Thorin is simply built different

for some reason Thorin sees Bilbo, with his honey colored hair and his upturned nose and his fiery attitude, and promptly loses his grip on reality.

That’s right: Thorin “I’ll be single for the rest of my life, I already have heirs” Oakenshield’s ability to feel romantic attraction suddenly kicks into gear after 195 years of lying dormant because this is the most beautiful creature he’s ever laid eyes on

And applying this to the scene where they first meet is hilarious because what do you MEAN Thorin was already clocking Bilbo as a threat to his quest because of his very apparent beauty

forget about canon, Thorin actually didn’t like Bilbo at first because he thought the super duper attractive boyfriend shaped creature popping up out of nowhere was just another case of his horrible Durin bad luck acting up again. like okay Gandalf what kind of game are you playing at, inviting this clearly soft and incredibly fair hobbit along on our dangerous quest. we can’t afford distractions right now

like imagine they’re a few months into the quest. Bilbo is sitting on a rock, combing his hair out in the sunlight, already having taken off his coat and vest because it’s hot as hell outside. he’s left in his cotton undershirt, which is partially see through because of a combination of light and sweat

none of the other dwarves give a shit, they’re perfectly used to nudity and bathing near others, and Bilbo is by far the most modest and self-conscious of them when it comes to showing skin

But of course, from Thorin’s pov it’s like watching a beautiful forest nymph bathe in the river. mythical creature meant to seduce you type beat

in his eyes Bilbo is bathing in the glow of the sunset, combing through strands of molten gold while exposing a scandalous amount of skin (cough his collarbone cough). AND Thorin can see the tan of his skin through his shirt. and he immediately thinks that this has to be the work of purposeful seduction. Bilbo wants to ensnare a dwarf for a husband by the end of the journey and he’s being painfully obvious about it. how dare he do this in front of people that aren’t Thorin

which is consequently why Thorin is hiding behind a rock as he watches, trying to make sure no one else is seeing what he’s seeing and scaring off anyone that comes close with a well timed glare. and he’s also trying not to come off as a creep because he’s been staring for a bit too long, and the last thing he wants is to scare Bilbo off

but then Bilbo starts humming a jaunty little tune and braiding his hair, as it’s gotten long over the course of the journey and he’s picked up some useful things from the company when it comes to grooming.

Thorin thinks he might actually pass out because Bilbo looks like he just popped out of a dwarven wet dream, singing and looking all shiny n shit

by the end of the night, Thorin’s sitting there with his head in his hands thinking “I must destroy him and his majestic allure. or make him my wife. I can’t believe those are my ONLY two options”

and would you believe it, their dynamic continues like that for the whole journey.

Dwalin and Balin are the first ones to pick up on Thorin’s plight, being his best and oldest friends—but they both have very, very different reactions to it.

Balin doesn’t indulge Thorin because he knows that Bilbo is a hobbit, and a very sheltered one at that. he realizes that their burglar most likely isn’t aware of the inherent intimacy of touching a dwarf’s hair, or braiding, or anything Bilbo has offered to do during their quest. in fact, he’s absolutely sure that absolutely none of the courting rituals Bilbo has performed were intentional, and were in fact blindly stumbled into.

Dwalin, however, is totally supportive of Thorin’s bullshit because Dwalin is the exact opposite of his brother when it comes to subtlety, and he is also physically unable to consider any conceptual alternative to whatever is plainly happening in front of him. he trusts his eyes and his eyes are telling him that Bilbo Baggins is a skilled temptress with designs on his king

Thorin, being delusional: Dwalin I’m being seduced and I think I’m losing

Dwalin, an enabler: I’ve never seen such blatant, shameless flirting in my life. brother he REALLY wants you

Thorin: FUCKING RIGHT?

Balin, staring in confusion because Bilbo literally just took a moment to pluck some leaves out of Thorin’s hair: No????

Balin tries—he really tries—to nudge Thorin in the right direction, to get his king to realize that Bilbo, in fact, is not doing all these borderline courting rituals on purpose. then again, he is an old dwarf and the whole situation is extremely entertaining, and he’s always had a mischievous streak in him. which turns him into yet another enabler—and at the end of the day, he doesn’t correct Thorin on his assumptions. sometimes he actively tries to make them worse, just for the hell of it, because if anyone deserves to have a little fun messing around with Thorin Oakenshield it’s Balin

Balin, teasing: ohohoho, wasn’t it nice of Bilbo to help Bofur rinse the dirt out of his clothes?

Thorin, clearly devastated: this is unacceptable

Thorin: he is doing it on purpose to invoke my jealously. I am ashamed to say it has worked

Balin:….

Thorin: he is a s i r e n

Balin:…….

Thorin: and I’m about to jump into the ocean

and that’s how it is until they reach Erebor. Thorin is constantly like “Hmm yes. Bilbo is a temptation, another obstacle meant to stray me from the path I must take” and everybody else is like what the actual FUCK are you talking about. are we seeing the same person. all of this melodramatic resistance to temptation happens in Thorin’s mind, and only because he can’t admit that he has a crush like a normal person.

Thorin can’t stop acting like a sailor lost at sea, doomed to be devoured by the beautiful creature he covets, and after a few months of watching that every day the entire company is just. completely done

and of course bad boy bachelor Bilbo Baggins, resident single handsome rich man in the Shire, notices the staring. obviously he asks Thorin what his problem is and Thorin panics and mutters something about Bilbo “using his looks to his advantage” and stalks off in a huff. Bilbo is very surprised to learn he’s that attractive by dwarf standards. because he doesn’t know that he’s not and that Thorin is just a special case. fuck secretive dwarves customs am I right?

the absolute worst part of this situation is that Bilbo is actually flirting and has been trying to seduce Thorin for months, but specifically by hobbit standards. all of his efforts have absolutely no effect because what hobbits consider courting is just normal, friendly dwarf behavior. It’s the stuff he doesn’t mean to do that drives Thorin up the wall.

Balin, however, being the member of the company with more than one brain cell, is the only one who sees this. and he’s very tired

Balin: Bilbo. Are you flirting with Thorin

Bilbo, flushing: well, I did feed him a strawberry from my plate today. I hope he doesn’t mind me being so forward….

Meanwhile, Dwalin and Thorin talking at the other side of the camp:

Thorin: Our burglar offered to wash my hair earlier this morning. I’ve never been pursued like this in all my life.

Dwalin: >:0……oh so he WANTS YOU wants you

Thorin: THATS EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT

anyways I’m going insane with ideas for these two. 🆘 please

(ALSO if anyone writes a fic/makes art for this. TAG ME. RIGHT NEOW)

[lesbian-aunt]

something something denial is a river in Egypt

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

never be good at your job. it's a trap. they'll just give you more and harder stuff to do and it'll pull you away from your true passion of writing gay fanfiction for people on the internet

[nikuttek]

Uh oh, I've got bad news for you, Grace

instagram | tiktok

[nanzyn]

your world is dying. your husband presumably dies in space so now you're a widow and your world is still dying. then 50-ish years later your husband everyone assumed was dead pulls up in a random spaceship full of a highly volatile atmosphere with the solution to your impending apocalypse and none of the original crew from his mission and instead with a wet, blobby alien that he pack bonded with and almost died for and is now emotionally codependent on that now wont stop complaining about the temperature of the water in its enclosure. your name is adrian and you dont know how you got here

[minkytaro]

happy neil banging out the tunes day!

[ghostisredacted]

Fun things to do in Hungary in 2026!!!

leave

[ghostisredacted]

nevermind <3

[newsandstuffisee]

[incomingalbatross]

Gandalf: Hmm, I think the Shire-folk need to be reintroduced to the outside world… Gradually, though, this isn’t the sort of thing you can do all at once. I’ll just bring one hobbit on an adventure again, to start with, just to plant a seed…

Bilbo Baggins, having gone on one (1) adventure: *acquires a mithril-coat, Gondolin-blade, and the One Ring; becomes an Elf-friend, close to the Elvenking and Elrond Halfelven; orders party favors from Dale and Erebor decades later; learns Quenya; goes to live at Rivendell; compiles a comprehensive history of the First Age in Westron from translated Elvish epics and primary-source accounts; becomes personal friends with the Heir of Isildur; eventually sails to Valinor*

[bilbobagginsbrainrotblog]

Bilbo entering the outside world;

[lonestarflight]

Apollo 17 vs Artemis II

[sindar-princeling]

The Mountain too slept uneasily.

easily one of the top ten "I love that jirt ended the day here so I can end an entry on this sentence" moments. everything is hopeless, and everyone is despairing. Aragorn sends away people who can't bring themselves to come closer to the Black Gate, while Frodo and Sam have already been inside Mordor for well over a week. the Ring talks directly to Sam, trying to make him hopeless, because tempting him with power didn't work - and with Frodo's will almost spent, Sam is the last person the Ring needs to break to ensure its safety. everyone is being assaulted by despair on all sides, and you can tell that the quest, no matter which way it's going to end, is almost over

...and yet Mount Doom, too, sleeps uneasily.

[lacikaszep]

[sindar-princeling]

aragorn's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week:

the fellowship breaks on his watch

forced to choose who to follow

runs over 200 kilometers in under four days

thinks merry and pippin are dead

meets the reborn gandalf (a rare win), immediately has to do a 180 and ride to edoras

immediately after that needs to ride to battle

takes part in a battle which takes place over the whole night

gets maybe 20 hours of sleep over the course of the whole week

and, I cannot stress this enough, this is all still very far from over

[astriiformes]

I've reblogged this already, but need to add a very important detail to this post.

In the middle of this whole mess. March 1st, aka he day that he meets Gandalf again and has to do an immediate 180.

That's Aragorn's birthday.

[howling-medic]

Happy birthday, Aragorn, my sweet blorbo ❤️

[mordoriscalling]

omg hi!! I read your modern royals bagginshield AU recently and it was so much fun!!

Omg!!!! Hello!!!!!!!!!!! 😍

Thank you so much for your ask!!! I’m so glad you enjoyed 🥰🥰 I also want to say that I LOVED your fic “A Leap of Faith”, I think you did an incredible job!!!

(Also, thanks for reminding me that my ask box exists, turns out, I have unanswered asks form years ago 🤣🤣🤣)

[crowliphale]

It's like someone cloned thorin and turned him into a hobbit ngl

[ithrilyann]

like frodo is thorin in hobbit form :)