Not today Justin
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i don't do bad sauce passes
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@morganvanilla
I love Twitter bc everyone is dumb
Just pronouns in general
Are- are you trying to tell me "no one" is a pronoun? Is that what this is saying??
So if I choose to go by nobody/no one are those nemo-pronouns
i see through your tricks, odysseus
lemme say it again louder for those in the back:
if ur ‘reader’ has a name or has a specific description that is not mentioned beforehand then it’s 🗣 NOT 🗣 A 🗣 READER 🗣 INSERT 🗣 FIC!!!!! 🗣
Never not gonna agree with this
Roasted Garlic Asiago Fettuccine
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In 2016, over 75,000 mail-in ballots were left uncounted and discarded because they were received after mail-in voting deadlines, which all vary by state, according to CBS news.
Some states like California allow you to check with the Registrar of Voters on-line to verify both if a ballot has issued and if it was received to help prevent voting errors.
Remember, the most common forms of voter fraud are 1) gerrymandering, 2) voter suppression and 3) foreign participation through both lobbying and online misinformation.
OCTOBER 13. IT’S BEING DELIBERATELY SLOWED. OCTOBER 13.
Also know that in most states you can also drop it off either at a polling place or the county elections office too
The postal service is being deliberately slowed.
LETS PLAY A GAME. It’s called: Who directed it TIM BURTON or HENRY SELICK
We’ll start with the 2009 Laika film Coraline based on the novel by Neil Gaiman. Do you know who directed it? Burton or Selick?
Did you guess yet?
If you guessed Henry Selick, you would be correct. Tim Burton actually had absolutely nothing to do with Coraline at all in anyway ever. Reminder: Tim Burton has NOTHING to do with Coraline. At all. But that was an easy one. Let’s go to the Walt Disney Pictures adaptation of Roald Dahl’s novel, James and the Giant Peach next.
Think you got it? Are you sure? Better double check…
Oh, look. It’s Henry Selick again! Tim Burton actually interacted with this project, though only as a producer. Bet that was tricky… Next one! Let’s go to the Disney/Touchstone Pictures film Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas.
Have you guessed it correctly? Have you really?
Yep that’s right. Even Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas was directed by Henry Selick. Though Burton wrote the poem and created the characters in which Nightmare was based he didn’t have much interaction with the project beyond that. At the time he had already signed off to direct the film Batman Returns and did not want to be involved with the “painstakingly slow process of stop-motion animation.”
Looks like it was a trick quiz. But now you know Henry Selick, whom people rarely know of is responsible for many of the most well known stop-motion animated films. The more you know!
This isn’t even being qeued. This is just being reblogged, because some of you still don’t understand who directed Coraline.
You guys don’t understand, Henry Selick was so happy and so incredibly nice and grateful that there was a festival solely dedicated to the art of Stop Motion and that he was an invited guest. He was treated like a superstar in his craft, and he was absolutely surprised.
All stop motion animators were actually. So please please please, appreciate this guy and his hard work in his key role at keeping stopmotion animation alive and well today.
We might have misunderstood Hogwarts Houses for years
I have a theory that the valued quality of each of the four Houses isn’t really about the personality of its students.
The valued quality of each of the four Houses has to do with how they perceive magic.
Stick with me a second: Hogwarts is a school to study magic. Magic as Hogwarts teaches it can be seen as many things: a natural talent, a gift, a weapon, etc.
So how you believe magic should be used will both reflect your personality and change how you handle that power.
“Their daring, nerve, and chivalry set Gryffindors apart,” Gryffindors perceive magic as a weapon. Gryffindors tend to excel in aggressive forms of magic, like offensive and defensive spells, and they are good at dueling. But a true Gryffindor knows that the power is a responsibility, and so they must always use their powers to stand up for what’s right. They are the sword of the righteous, which makes them as good at Defense Against the Dark Arts as they are at combat magic.
Hufflepuffs believe that magic is a gift and that the best gifts are to be given away. Hufflepuffs, “loyal and just,” would naturally abhor the idea of jealously guarding magic or using it to hurt someone else. So Hufflepuffs share their magic to benefit of Muggles, like the Fat Friar, to protect the overlooked, like Newt Scamander with his creatures, or to oppose those who would use magic to torment and bully, like the Hufflepuffs who stood with the DA and the battle of Hogwarts.
Slytherins are the opposite: they believe their magic is a treasure that they have been entrusted to protect. The Slytherin fascination with purity, with advantage, with cunning and secrecy–all of which were perverted by the Death Eaters–comes from the idea that people with magic in their veins have been given something special that it is their duty to protect at all costs. And perhaps they aren’t entirely wrong: power in the wrong hands can be dangerous. And power interfering at will with Muggle affairs is a gross presumption that could turn the course of history. Though the series shows some of the worst that Slytherin can be, “evil,” is not a natural Slytherin tendency. “Cautious,” is.
Ravenclaws believe that magic is an art form, one that is beautiful and should be appreciated and studied for its own sake. If “wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure,” then asking what magic is for is useless. It’s more important to immerse oneself in magic for its own sake. Ravenclaws push the boundaries of magic to see if they can, hence Hermione’s spell experiment on the DA coins being dubbed a Ravenclaw quality, but like Luna Lovegood in the pursuit of extraordinary creatures: they can also be content to plumb the depths of what already exists.
So while you can see where personalities will overlap over Houses, perhaps in Sorting we should be asking ourselves less what we think we are and more what we think we believe.
that’s much more interesting and substantive than “brave, smart, evil, miscellaneous”
there should be a tax that youtubers pay where 1.5% of all of their revenue goes back to Kevin Macleod for basically supplying YouTube with it’s own soundtrack.
who is this man and what music did he make???
if you hear a royalty free song on youtube, there’s approximately an 80% chance Kevin Macleod wrote it.
here’s some you’ve almost definitely heard:
for those wondering, yes, he also made THE generic royalty free song that was EVERYWHERE in 2014.
He has a Patreon!
And he doesn’t even make a 1000$ per month!
also, his site incompetech.com also has graph paper generators, if you’re in need of that. It has any kind of graph paper - INCLUDING hex paper, you tabletop gamers out there! (or knitting paper if you’re into that)
Ok who turned internal intrusive thoughts into a meme
This is why all those woke dumbasses who love to dunk on him for his racism make me want to scream because he really started to change towards the end of his life.
And I had never even HEARD he rethought any of it until JUST NOW. Funny, people not talking about that bit... *sigh*
i wonder what evolutionary niche clowns evolved to fill
Apex predator.
No im pretty sure they started as a prey animal, that’s why their pupils are rectangles
Short answer: They are physiological designed to be the perfect children’s entertainer.
Long Answer: They didn’t really evolve at all. They were selectively bred alongside mimes, which share a common ancestor, the Jester. Jesters are, of course, the domesticated descendant of Bards, from which the entire Entertainer genus evolved.
Clowns were bred to be appealing to small children who would (theoretically) be more interested in the clown’s bright colors, silly antics, and slapstick comedy.
Mimes were bred to be more appealing to older audiences, for whom color and simplicity are as likely to be disinteresting as fascinating.
This is a dangerous oversimplification. Party clowns were bred to entertain children, and many modern circus clowns are crossbreeds with high party clown content (the party clown’s bright coloration being a desirable trait) but the party clown’s gentle nature and poor reflexes makes purebreeds a poor fit for the circus. The ones you see in the circus are generally crossed with mimes or acrobats.
Generalizing clowns as children’s entertainment leads to tragedy when people think they can trust any clown with small children when many breeds are temperamentally unsuited for that kind of thing - rodeo clowns are notoriously high-strung, funhouse clowns can be mean-spirited, and while the evil clown’s name is something of a misnomer you should still never leave a child alone with one.
To that note. The ancestry doesn’t stop at bards. It goes back to poets! See a particular breed of poet back in the Gaels time were actually quite formidable. They were ruthless and unstoppable to the point of dethroning kings with their sick burns alone. In attempt to harness their power and strength they were cross bred with european writers who were already fully domesticated under the heel of the ruling church. This produced the well known bard with their shanty and songs while still maintaining a bit of their ruthless bite they were prised for. While never quite as effective as the Gaelic poet they maintained their popularity.
The poets however began to fall out of favor and were mostly wiped out. But threads of their heraldry can still be seen today with americanized poet cross breeds. While not retaining their classic power of the Gaelic poets they still maintained their respectable cunning and might of word we can still see today in clubs and spoken word events.
actually entertainer species of one kind or another have been present throughout pretty much all of recorded history. even paleolithic art documents the evolution of homo coulros alongside early humans
history didn’t begin with europe. humans and clowns have coexisted since the beginning
fun fact: while prevailing scientific attitudes tend to assume that clowns were predominantly a scavenger species, there is some evidence that early clowns & humans hunted together
This entire thread is a fever dream am I dead??
surely death would be more peaceful
Unironically, as a trained clown (no, really) I find this really funny because you are literally describing how these types of clowns historically came about IRL and doing so with surprising accuracy. I learned this in actual clown school y'all. Your shitposting is accidentally (?) real, factual Clowning History and I can’t get over that.
They’re still evolving
Why is this like the third clown breeding and maintenance post I’ve seen?
Britney has been paying for people's groceries, paying for items for their kids, sending uplifting messages, posting fun videos to cheer her fans up, doing everything she can to help others, she's even nice to people who send hate to her when they're not nice to her to begin with. She's helping people financially even though she does not have control over her finances. She is using whatever she has to help. She's asking for wealth redistribution. I never really stanned her before this, I was more of a casual fan, but this? This is legend behavior. Thank you, Britney.
Britney 2020
that’s Britney Bitch 🖤
This gets funnier to me everything I watch it.
I love that she’s not putting on a scary mask, or making scary faces or noises, or wearing her clothes to distort her figure, or doing anything overtly scary or inhuman. She’s just… walking in a way that humans are technically capable of walking and it’s somehow terrifying. It’s not even just that it’s unusual– if she’d come around the corner walking on her hands I doubt they’d have bolted.
I wonder if this is a learned fear (from horror movies and such) or something instinctive about the pose?
WHY IS THIS FUNNY?!?!?!
It’d really suck if I got ice or water-themed superpowers. I’d have to wear blue and white and gray instead of the reds and oranges I prefer.
wear the reds and oranges and pull an iceland/greenland on em
“I have cornered you in this aquarium, where your fire powers are useless!”
“Fire powers? Dude, I’m an ice hero. I freeze shit and manipulate water. Also, I love aquariums. Thanks for the free entry!”
“But… you’re dressed like Guy Fieri…?”
“Yeah haha. I have an autumnal complexion.”
Also, no superhero should have a name that gives away the power set. Misdirection - “Get him, Lasereye!” “Haha, my mirror will deflect your, wait, why are you made of stone now?”
They call him laser eye because he once blinded himself with a laser pointer and it was the funniest shit they’d ever seen
This is my cup of tea.
Unpopular but true: a large reason why grocery store are empty now isn’t just because there’s a bunch of greedy, awful people panic everything in sight to spite others. Sure, there’s some hoarding assholes, but a lot of it is people realizing they will now need over a month’s worth of groceries in one go when they might usually only buy enough to last them a week, maybe two, and people who can no longer supplement with going out, people who are now eating three meals at home when usually their kids eat lunch at school and they have lunch at the office… that’s a hell of a lot more food than most families need to have on hand, including people who normally never cook and just grubhub everything. The food supply chains will hopefully stabilize a bit in the coming weeks - just wanted to point out it’s not all malicious and people aren’t as awful as is being said. I’m under self imposed quarantine, social distancing, working from home and staying away from others. Hoping all of you guys are safe and feeling ok.
just about every person coming through my line at the grocery store is just buying what they’d usually buy when they buy groceries. They’re just buying MORE of it than they’d usually buy. Because they’re needing more than they’d usually need. I lost count of how many times I was asked if we had any more eggs simply because people told me they were cooking sit down breakfasts for their kids now instead of ‘something they can send them out the door on the way to school with’. We’re not sold out of milk because we’ve got milk hoarders stalking up their garage for the next five months with milk. We’re out of milk because everyone’s home now and drinking more of it. Same with bread. Our cake mixes aren’t flying off the shelves because people are worried about dessert shortages. It’s because people are home and doing baking with their free time. So - yeah - there are some assholes out there hoarding shit. But its not that simple. It’s rarely that simple. Beware of people that tell you its that simple.
should also point out that my store, and most others, have, for a couple weeks now, had a limit on how much of a certain thing people can buy. So no, even when we do get trucks in, no one’s walking out of our store with two cartloads full of toilet paper. And I’ve only had to turn away two people that tried to overbuy in the past two weeks as well.
Huh. Hadn’t thought about it like that before
#we should all try to be critical and thoughtful when encountering narratives that suggest that humanity is inherently selfish #or promotes the perspective of viewing your community as a hoard that you’re separate from#cause these beliefs really do limit your ability to trust in your neighbors and establish mutual aid networks &#make you more susceptible to eugenics propaganda#criticize individuals behaving badly or even specific behavior that is widespread- but when it comes to criticizing ‘humanity’ or whatever#be careful and think about what you actually mean#I saw someone criticizing getting 3 months of meds & like I normally get my meds in 3 month batches as of like a year ago#cause I’ve been consistently on the same meds for like half a decade#and also I don’t know if I’ll even be able to see my psychiatrist in the coming months (via @closet-keys)
AirBnB is allowing people to cancel reservations as a result of Covid-19 travel restrictions and the rats are screaming as their ships sink under the smothering weight of *checks notes* refunding people for cancelled reservations during a global pandemic.
The twitter landlord-turned-bed and breakfast owner fandom is aghast as they scurry to start a class-action lawsuit and this is hopefully winding up for some Serizawa-style "let them fight" action.
Truly I love it
there’s something endlessly hilarious to me about the phrase “hotly debated” in an academic context. like i just picture a bunch of nerds at podiums & one’s like “of course there was a paleolithic bear cult in Northern Eurasia” and another one just looks him in the eye and says “i’l kill you in real life, kevin”
I heard a story once about two microbiologists at a conference who took it out into the parking lot to have a literal fistfight over taxonomy.
have i told this story yet? idk but it’s good. The Orangutan Story:
my american lit professor went to this poe conference. like to be clear this is a man who has a doctorate in being a book nerd. he reads moby dick to his four-year-old son. and poe is one of the cornerstones of american literature, right, so this should be right up his alley?
wrong. apparently poe scholars are like, advanced. there is a branch of edgar allen poe scholarship that specifically looks for coded messages based on the number of words per line and letters per word poe uses. my professor, who has a phd in american literature, realizes he is totally out of his depth. but he already committed his day to this so he thinks fuck it! and goes to a panel on racism in poe’s works, because that’s relevant to his interests.
background info: edgar allen poe was a broke white alcoholic from virginia who wrote horror in the first half of the 19th century. rule 1 of Horror Academia is that horror reflects the cultural anxieties of its time (see: my other professor’s sermon abt how zombie stories are popular when people are scared of immigrants, or that purge movie that was literally abt the election). since poe’s shit is a product of 1800s white southern culture, you can safely assume it’s at least a little about race. but the racial subtext is very open to interpretation, and scholars believe all kinds of different things about what poe says about race (if he says anything), and the poe stans get extremely tense about it.
so my professor sits down to watch this panel and within like five minutes a bunch of crusty academics get super heated about poe’s theoretical racism. because it’s academia, though, this is limited to poorly concealed passive aggression and forceful tones of inside voice. one professor is like “this isn’t even about race!” and another professor is like “this proves he’s a racist!” people are interrupting each other. tensions are rising. a panelist starts saying that poe is like writing a critique of how racist society was, and the racist stuff is there to prove that racism is stupid, and that on a metaphorical level the racist philosophy always loses—
then my professor, perhaps in a bid to prove that he too is a smart literature person, loudly calls: “BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ORANGUTAN?”
some more background: in poe’s well-known short story “the murder in the rue morgue,” two single ladies—a lovely old woman and her lovely daughter who takes care of her, aka super vulnerable and respectable people—are violently killed. the murderer turns out to be not a person, but an orangutan brought back by a sailor who went to like burma or something. and it’s pretty goddamn racially coded, like they reeeeally focus on all this stuff about coarse hairs and big hands and superhuman strength and chattering that sounds like people talking but isn’t actually. if that’s intentional, then he’s literally written an analogy about how black people are a threat to vulnerable white women, which is classic white supremacist shit. BUT if he really only meant for it to be an orangutan, then it’s a whole other metaphor about how colonialism pillages other countries and brings their wealth back to europe and that’s REALLY gonna bite them in the ass one day. klansman or komrade? it all hangs on this.
much later, when my professor told this story to a poe nerd friend, the guy said the orangutan thing was a one of the biggest landmines in their field. he said it was a reliable discussion ruiner that had started so many shouting matches that some conferences had an actual ban on bringing it up.
so the place goes dead fucking silent as every giant ass poe stan in the room is immediately thrust into a series of war flashbacks: the orangutan argument, violently carried out over seminar tables, in literary journals, at graduate student house parties, the spittle flying, the wine and coffee spilled, the friendships torn—the red faces and bulging veins—curses thrown and teaching posts abandoned—panels just like this one fallen into chaos—distant sirens, skies falling, the dog-eared norton critical editions slicing through the air like sabres—the textual support! o, the quotes! they gaze at this madman in numb disbelief, but he could not have known. nay, he was a literary theorist, a 17th-century man, only a visitor to their haunted land. he had never heard the whistle of the mortars overhead. he had never felt the cold earth under his cheek as he prayed for god’s deliverance. and yet he would have broken their fragile peace and brought them all back into the trenches.
my professor sits there for a second, still totally clueless. the panel moderator suddenly stands up in his tweed jacket and yells, with the raw panic of a once-broken man:
WE! DO NOT! TALK ABOUT! THE ORANGUTAN!
I never did get to show her…
This is the saddest post on tumblr
certified iconic post
